Sandeul P.O.V

“Deullie?” Baro asked as he came into the bedroom. “I’m going shopping with Jinyoung in a bit.” He walked over to the mirror and began to style his hair.

“How long are you going to be?” I asked. He’d never mentioned going out with Jinyoung, but then again, it could have been a last minute arrangement.

“I think we’re meeting you and the others at the rehearsal.” He said, before walking over to his bed and picking up a hat that was laid there.

“The others?!”  My voice shot up an octave. He can’t leave me alone with the others!

“Yeah. I won’t be long, I promise.” He put his hat on his head and walked out of the door.

As I sat there on my bed, I brushed my fingertips lightly over the scratches on my arm I had made the other day. They were healed a little now, and were beginning to scab a little. I had taken the bandages off and scabs had now taken the place of where the cuts were. I sighed and looked over at the clock on the bedside cabinet, it was 7:30, the rehearsal was due to start at 9 o’clock, I decided to go take a shower and prepare for the day ahead.

I stood up and made my way over to the wardrobe and picked myself out some clothes. Today I would have to wear a long sleeved shirt, I wasn’t comfortable with people seeing my cuts, they would probably make fun of me. I grabbed the first one I saw, which happened to be a white and black stripy one, I like stripes. I grabbed a pair of black jogging bottoms and made my way to the bathroom, hoping nobody could see me.

When I finished in the bathroom, I dashed back to my room and closed the door behind me, I’ll stay in here till it’s time to go. I walked over to my bed and took my phone off of my bedside cabinet, before lying on my bed and playing a game. I wasn’t playing for long before I heard a soft knock on the door, I didn’t bother to look up when the door opened, my game was far more interesting.

“Sandeul? We’re setting off now.” I finally looked up and saw Gongchan peering around the door. I didn’t bother to reply; I simply nodded my head and placed my phone in my top draw. I followed him out of the door and into the living room, not saying a word. CNU was sat on the couch playing on his phone when he heard us enter he looked up.

“Ready?” he asked looking directly at me and smiling. I quickly looked up at Gongchan before nodding my head in response. CNU stood up from his seat and sighed. “Come on then.” He smiled, before leading us out of the door and out to the van waiting for us.

In turn we each climbed into the van and took our seats. CNU sat next to the driver, Gongchan sat in a window seat near the front and I took a seat at the back next to a window, I didn’t want to be anywhere near them two, even if they were planning on being nice to me. They were the reason Jinyoung found out I love him; they had caused him to act the way he did. I couldn’t even look at them without feeling hurt.

As the van pulled away down the road, I looked out of the window, watching the passing scenery, there wasn’t much, only tall buildings and shops, but it was better than sitting in an awkward silence.

Baro’s P.O.V

Me and Jinyoung walked down the road to the shop, I didn’t want to take long, as I had left Sandeul with CNU and Gongchan, and I don’t think he really wanted me to go.

I feel really sorry for him.

Thankfully, I hadn’t left him with Jinyoung. He was safe.

Sandeul’s P.O.V

We had been working for half an hour, and without our leader there, we got more breaks than usual. Having worked for a while already, it was beginning to get really warm, but I knew that rolling up my sleeves would draw attention and cause trouble, so I just left them down, hoping I wouldn’t over heat.

“Ok, you can have a break.” CNU sighed as the song finished, walking over to the stereo to turn it off, before getting out his earphones and sitting against the mirror with his eyes closed, listening to his music.

I let out a soft sigh, stretching after the tiring dancing we had just been doing.

“Sandeul?” I heard Gongchan question. I turned to him, my eyebrows raised, only to see him staring at my arms, which were still in the air.

The way that I had stretched had made my sleeves fall down, and there was no denying that Gongchan had seen everything.

“What the hell is this?!” He half whispered- half shouted, grabbing my wrist and pulling it down to get a better look at my cuts, yet not wanting to let CNU know what he had seen.

I looked down at the floor awkwardly; Gongchan knew what I’d done without me even having to say anything.

“Come with me.” He whispered annoyance in his voice, gripping my wrist tightly and out of the room, down the hallway and into the bathroom.

Again, I didn’t say anything; I daren’t, now that Gongchan knew what I had done, there was no telling what he would do. What if he told Jinyoung and he got angry at me again?

No.

Jinyoung would probably be pleased.

“What the have you done?!” Gongchan screamed, slamming the door to the toilets behind him. “Answer me Sandeul!” He shouted again when I didn’t reply.

I knew what I had done, but saying it was different. How can you admit that you hurt yourself on purpose just like this? Admitting it to someone you trust might be possible, but I couldn’t say it to Gongchan, no matter how obvious it was.

Gongchan sighed, pushing me into a toilet cubicle, before shutting and locking the door behind us.

“I’m not letting you out of here until you tell me what you’ve done and why you did it.” His voice was stern as he gestured to the cuts on my wrist, which he still had tight hold of.

“I’m not telling you.” My voice was just a whisper, but Gongchan knew I was scared of him telling the others or hitting me or something, not that I wanted to be alone with him in the first place after what he told Jinyoung.

“Sandeul.” His voice softened. “You can tell me, I’m not going to tell anyone.”

Not going to tell anyone? That’s probably what he said to CNU about me liking Jinyoung, but the next thing you know, everyone knows.

“So you say.” I snapped. “But you don’t mean it. You can’t keep anything a secret.”

I turned to leave, but Gongchan stepped in front of the locking, blocking my exit and catching my arm as I reached for the lock on the door.

“I said I’m not letting you out until you tell me.” His voice was harsh again now. I knew I couldn’t trust him.

Gongchan’s P.O.V

He wasn’t going to tell me anytime soon, but I wanted to get it out of him, I wanted him to be able to trust me again.

I want him to know that I’m there for him, and I don’t want Baro or anyone else looking out for him, not when I’m supposed to be doing that. I regret telling Jinyoung, can’t he see that? Can’t he see that I feel as guilty as hell for what I’ve done? Can’t he see I just want to make it better for him? Or is he too blinded by his own love for Jinyoung to see who’s loving him?

“Let me out Chan-Shik. I don’t want to tell you.” He mumbled, trying again to push my arm out of the way, but being too weak to actually move it.

“No. You’re staying here, I just want to help you.” I confessed.

“Help me?” Sandeul’s eyes widened. “You ruined my life! How the hell is that helping me?” He went for the door again, but I held him back.

“I didn’t mean to!” I yelled, but Sandeul kept trying to push me out of the way to get to the door. “I’m sorry.” He kept trying to get out. “Lee Jung-Hwan! Listen to me!” I yelled grabbing hold of both of his arms and looking into his eyes intently.

Sandeul fell silent and stopped shouting, staring back at me with wide eyes.

“I said I don’t want to tell you.” He mumbled lowering his head.

“Oh well you’re going to! You’re not just going to scare me half to death then not tell me-”

I was cut off by the sound of the door opening and a deep voice humming as they walked into the bathroom. I instantly recognised the voice. It was Baro.

Sandeul opened his mouth and was about to shout for help, but when I realised what he was going to do; I clamped my hand over his mouth, forcing him to fall into the wall behind him.

 The humming stopped and Sandeul squirmed beneath my grasp, why can’t he just keep quiet? Baro doesn’t have to be the one to always help him! I can do that too! I love him!

Before I knew it, Sandeul grabbed my hand and managed to prize it off of his mouth, holding it away from him, but before he got the chance to make a noise I clamped my other hand over his mouth.

Sandeul continued to struggle, with one hand holding my wrist out of the way, and the other desperately trying to get my other hand off of his mouth.

Baro’s P.O.V

Me and Jinyoung had finished shopping a while ago, and now we were back and heading towards the practice room.

“I’m just gonna go to the loo first.” I said, nodding my head in the direction of the toilets. Jinyoung nodded and walked into the practice room.

I walked into the washroom humming as I walked in.

Bang!

I stopped, frowning and looking in the direction where the banging noise had come from. One of the toilet cubicles. I frowned walking over to it, wondering if the person in there was ok.

Gongchan’s P.O.V

Sandeul managed to force my hand off of his mouth and opened his mouth to shout out for Baro.

It all happened so quickly I’m not entirely sure what happened.

But I’m certain that I sure as hell didn’t think of the consequences.

I didn’t really know what I was doing, but with both of my hands in Sandeul’s grasp, I had to find a way of shutting him up.

Even I didn’t realise what I had done immediately.

My lips crashed down against Sandeul’s as he stumbled back into the side of the toilet cubicle. Letting out a moan into my mouth as his back collided with the wall, dropping my wrists and bringing his hands up to my shoulders to feebly attempt to push me off of him. Sandeul’s lips didn’t move. He didn’t kiss me back. I wasn’t expecting him to, but honestly, this was my first kiss, and I wasn’t really sure what to do.

Baro’s P.O.V

Another bang and a moan sounded from the cubicle. Either someone was very badly hurt, or they were... well let’s just say being pleasured, after all that’s what it sounded like.

I crouched down and looked beneath the door, raising my eyebrows when my suspicions were confirmed. There were two people in there.

I stood back up, not really knowing what to do. As far as I could tell they were just making out, both were stood with their feet together and neither of them had their pants round their ankles.

Would it be bad to see who it was? I could set off a rumour when one of these unfortunate trainees debuts... I suppose it gets our company more attention, and that would certainly please the boss.

I shrugged, walking into the next stall, before standing on the toilet and peering over the top of the stall.

At a first glance I was shocked to see that it was two guys.

But it was when I noticed who the two guys were that I had to cover my mouth in order to stop them hearing me gasp.

Sandeul’s P.O.V

I put my hands on Gongchan’s shoulders as soon as I could comprehend what was happening. Gongchan was kissing me?! I tried my best to get him off of me, but it didn’t really succeed and I ended up just having to give up on my struggle, my hands now hanging limply by my sides and the tears burning at my eyes.

Baro’s P.O.V

I rushed out of the room before I said anything. I can’t believe what I just saw!

Gongchan was kissing Sandeul?!

The need to pee had gone now, and I walked back into the practice room trying to look normal, and as though I hadn’t witnessed what was going on in the bathroom.

I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt, at first I was just in shock, but now.... Now I have so many different emotions...

Pain. That was the main one. It hurts me to see Sandeul with Gongchan. After all this time of feeling sorry for him and trying to act like his best friend I find out he was seeing Gongchan in secret?! I didn’t even know Gongchan was gay!

Does Jinyoung know?  

Wow. I be you weren't expecting that? xD

I was talking to my friend today about Florence and the machine and the song kiss with a fist, so thats where the title for the next chapter came from, it's also a phrase from the chapter as always.

I had to update early today as one of my readers ( SimplySami25) is going away soon and was getting impatient for the update xD

I also wanted to update soon as I can't ait to see your reactions to this chapter, I'm very proud of this idea xD

Much love <3