III Unnamed comfort

“Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart. ”

― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

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He tossed in the bed. Sweat covered his face and torso, as he mumbled some incoherent words. He frowned his brows and started kicking around himself, as the nightmare creeped in his dream. He was surrounded in the small dim room by the men that him. He could feel one of them kneeling next to him, then starting touching his arm, going higher. He whimpered, petrified and screamed in his sleep, when his shirt was suddenly tored. Tears showed in the corners of his closed eyes, then fell quickly, when the man in his dream touched his body. He looked up, as he screamed for help, at the person who caused all this, at his best friend. The boy was looking at him with cold eyes, full of hate. He screamed desperately, when someone removed his pants. He could feel their hands on him; filthy, sickly horrible. He wanted to escape, but couldn’t. He pushed one of them, but others steadied him. He felt one of them parting his legs, but then, suddenly, everything stopped.

“Ryeowook!” He heard a soothing voice calling him. And just before he woke up, he saw his ex best friend eyes, full of satisfaction and hatred, as he looked at him.

“Wake up, Ryeowook!” Someone shouted, making Ryeowook woke up from his nightmare. He opened his eyes, still crying, and saw Kyuhyun, who was shaking him lightly. Kyuhyun somehow managed to made Ryeowook sit in the bed, when he was asleep.

“Are you ok?” Kyuhyun asked concerned, as he took his one hand, that was holding Ryeowook, and his hair.

Ryeowook looked at him with petrified expression. Wide eyes; dull, empty, looking at Kyuhyun’s.

“Ryeowook pull yourself.” Kyuhyun said, as he wipped away the tears that was still falling from Ryeowook’s eyes.

“Ryeowook look at me.” Kyuhyun demanded, knowing that Ryeowook’s eyes were fixed at him, yet, doesn’t looking truly at him. Kyuhyun felt like he was holding a doll. An empty crust of human body.

Almost a quarter passed, when Ryeowook’s eyes, still unfocused, started to work, while Ryeowook came back to his senses.

“Are you ok?” Kyuhyun asked, holding Ryeowook’s arm. All this time, he had been weeping away Ryeowook’s tears, that didn’t want to stop falling.

At this words, Ryeowook started sobbing lauder. He buried himself in Kyuhyun’s chest, and cried hysterically. It was just a nightmare, but he could still feel their dirty hands on him. He could still feel like it was real. He knew, he shouldn’t act weak next to Kyuhyun, but couldn’t help himself. He needed comfort from someone.

“Shhh.” Kyuhyun hushed him, hugging Ryeowook back. His hand Ryeowook’s back, giving a comfort that he needed. A comfort that he seeked for.

Ryeowook chocked the sob, as he tightened the hold. Kyuhyun started to rock them a little, making Ryeowook relax after, almost an hour, of hysterical crying.

“Shh…It’s ok now.” Kyuhyun Ryeowook’s hair gently. He pulled Ryeowook on the bed, trying to make him sleep again, but the shorter man was holding tightly to his t-shirt, making him unable to sit straight.

“S-stay.” Ryeowook whispered, as he looked at Kyuhyun, who was hovering over him from the side. His eyes puffy and red from tears that stopped falling only a few minute ago.

Kyuhyun looked at Ryeowook’s eyes with a concern. He run his hand over Ryeowook’s hairs and nodded.

“Ok.” Kyuhyun mumbled, as he layed next to Ryeowook on the bed. As soon as Kyuhyun layed comfortable next to the shorter man, Ryeowook moved closed and buried his head in Kyuhyun’s chest once again. Kyuhyun sighed, then gently put his hand on Ryeowook’s arm, and pulled him closer. It was strange for Ryeowook to be like that with the stranger, yet he felt that he can do this with Kyuhyun. He felt that he is allowed, to seek a comfort in the other man. When Kyuhyun’s hand circled around him, Ryeowook immediately felt safe and secure. It was strange, because he never felt like that with anyone, yet Kyuhyun could make him feel it. There wass something in Kyuhyun that he never experienced with anyone, maybe because he wasn’t his client, or maybe because he simply wasn’t like the others. Something was off with Kyuhyun, but in a good way. In comfortable, soothing way that made Ryeowook relax and forgot about everything, when Kyuhyun in next to him.

“Thank you.” Ryeowook mumbled in Kyuhyun’s chest then drift to sleep. Kyuhyun sighed, as he looked at shorter male.

“It’s nothing. It’s always ok.” He quietly said, as he closed his eyes, falling asleep soon after.

Ryeowook woke up, hoping to feel the comfort and shelter that he had sought all his life, but instead of this, his stretched hand met a cold part of the bed. No trace of warm, comfort body of Kyuhyun. Nothing to hold onto as the dark of his past creeped in his mind once again, making him remember his dream, his horror.

He opened his eyes and sat up quickly. This quick move made him a little dizzy, but he shook his head a little, so the spinning stopped with the trace of his nightmare in his head. He looked around and sighed when he didn’t saw any trace of darkness from the previous night. The room was colored with orange and yellow, by the sun that was about to rise. He could feel the warm in his right part of the body, where the sun was touching his skin. He yawned and stood up. Stretched his arms up, making some of his bones cracking a sound, as they came to the right places. He felt that he had never rested that good in his life. Even if he had nightmare, the rest of his sleep- in comfort of Kyuhyun’s present, was like a bliss and bandage to his tormented mind, soul and body. Ryeowook chuckled at the thought about the soul. He maybe not believe it, but someday he will believe that soul, God and other thing exist. But for this, he needed hope. He n