XXII One wing. – Angel’s tale 

“Men of God and men of war have strange affinities.”

― Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian, or the Evening Redness in the West

***

Time passed quick. Just a blink of an eye and more than a year passed, when Kyuhyun and Ryeowook last saw each other. The pain of the parting dulled, but still lingered. Just like the love they have for each other. Despite the separation, this strong feeling was still there, in their hearts, souls and minds. There was not a day, without a thought of the latter. There was not a night when they didn’t wonder about; what if, why and maybe. But what was done, was done. There was no turning back, even if the two of them wanted to have a way out. The way out of the dull, loveless life.

Ryeowook was standing in the small room in the wooden cottage. The second floor was designated as a living area, while the first floor was a restaurant, that Sungmin’s family was running. Ryeowook looked around. A cozy bed and green armchair were placed opposite each other.  Next to a wall, there was a mall small single bed next. Light filtered through a small window, brightening a section of the room. Ryeowook was currently putting some of his belonging onto the shelf and wardrobe that was in the corner. He suddenly pulled out the book, that he took from Kyuhyun. A small feather slipper through the crevices of the pages and landed on the floor. Ryeowook’s eyes gazed at the whiteness of the feather and picked it up. His fingers smoothed already smooth surface. His eyes shimmered from tears, as he smiled sadly, remembering Kyuhyun. It was the feather from Kyuhyun’s wing.  It was the only thing he possessed from Kyuhyun, an idiosyncrasy unique to the angle. How he wished to touch Kyuhyun’s wing, to hug the angel, to kiss him, to tell him the three words that stuck in his throat. I love you. Yes love, because Ryeowook realized he loved Kyuhyun. Somewhere in the middle of fighting against his darkness he started to fall in love with Kyuhyun. It wasn’t hard. Kyuhyun was nice and protective in little twisted way. Ryeowook first thought it was nothing, that he just wanted someone to hold onto and be friends with. The feeling of becoming friends with him, turned to something more. Yet, it was only after he left he realized this, only when Junsu talked to him. That day he realized, not just that Kyuhyun don’t need him anymore, but the fact that he loved the angel. He knew why he cried, why he felt so much pain as if he was dying, because he was. Ryeowook gave his heart to Kyuhyun, and entrusted the angel with it. And how can you live if your heart wasn’t with you?

“Are you ready?” Ryeowook turned around to meet eyes with Sungmin. The other man was standing at the door. Ryeowook nodded and put the feather on the nightstand- grazing it for a second with his fingers.

“Yes I am.” He answered and went out with Sungmin.

***

Kyuhyun woke up surrounded by the disappearing scent of Ryeowook. The scent almost faded, but Kyuhyun could still sense it, even after washing it up. The pillow he hugged smelled like the human. The covers, blankets, everything in the bedroom had this sweet scent that Kyuhyun longed to breathe. The scent of a man who he realized too late, that he loved.

His blurry eyes met the orange walls of the bedroom and white ceiling was hued grey, as the sun barely lighten the room.

“And you left me, like I predicted.”Kyuhyun looked at the pot with the forget-me-not.  He tenderly the flower, with the same delicateness he would pamper Ryeowook with. “I hoped it will not hurt that much, but it hurt a hundred times more. The  pain I never thought I would feel. It’s still here.” Kyuhyun’s eyes glazed over with unshed tears, as a sense of melancholy seeped into his heart.  He shifted on the bed and stood up. He needed to go to work, whether he wanted it or not. He needed to find and help other people whether he wanted it or not.

Kyuhyun searched for Ryeowook as much as he could. He moved from town to town, place after place, but sadly Ryeowook disappeared without a trace. Ryeowook left him and Kyuhyun wasn’t able to find him. The only thing he knew was his name Kim Ryeowook, and his previous job- ion. However, about where he is, who his parents are, where he lived previously, friends, nothing. He knew nothing.

Ryeowook left him and the love Kyuhyun had for him. Ryeowook left him, leaving  Kyuhyun, worried about Ryeowook., fearing for his safety and happiness.

The human will not come back. He moved on, while Kyuhyun stood, abandoned in the emptiness.

After decades, he finally found the love. Yet, he was too late to acknowledge it. He was too late to stop Ryeowook.

***

After a busy day in the restaurant, Ryeowook washed up and went to bed. It was a nice, normal, work day that he never experienced in his life previously. There were no darkness, nothing dirty, no fake moans of pleasure or filthy money and . He wiped the tables and mopped the floor. He took orders and even helped Sungmin in the kitchen. His only coworkers were Sungmin and Sungmin’s mother. Sungmin’s father was resting in bedroom above the restaurant. Ryeowook met him- thanking him for a job and a place to stay. Sungmin’s family, just like the man himself, was lovely and cheerful. They chatted with their customers, laughed at some jokes. Ryeowook felt at home home here, as if this was his family, not the one that kicked him out when he was young.

Yet, when the busy rush of the day faded, as he lied in his bed, Ryoeowook always thought  he belonged somewhere else, next to Kyuhyun, his angel.

With sorrowful sigh, he took the feather from Kyuhyun’s wing and put in on his chest, hugging it with h