XX Parting ways

“They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now.”

― Edna, St. Vincent Millay

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When Kyuhyun came back, Ryeowook’s eyes weren’t swollen or red anymore. The smile the shorter man possessed looked genuinely. He didn’t realized the crushing soul in Ryeowook’ eyes, as he made sure to cover them with a fake happiness.

“Welcome back.” Ryeowook said, showing Kyuhyun still warm diner, that he made for both of them. Kyuhyun looked at the food, then at Ryeowook and his heart melted in happiness, that he didn’t know what mean. He felt happy like never being next to Ryeowook. The human accepted him and didn’t freak out like some people he met in his long life. Kyuhyun felt that he would be happy to stay by Ryeowook’s side; protecting him, standing side by side.

“Welcome back.” Kyuhyun smiled bright, making Ryeowook blink his eyes, as water get through. Lips twitched, almost blowing out his cover. Kyuhyun didn’t saw it and sat at the table, starting eating. He felt his stomach flip with a warm feeling evertime he took a bit of the food Ryeowook had made.

“It’s really good.” He complemented then took the last bite. Ryeowook looked as Kyuhyun took the plate on the sink and washed it. He looked at Kyuhyun’s taller form. His slender back, that he knew, was covered in painful scars. Not only physical, but psychical pain too. The t-shirt on his body: covered the scars that hide the memories behind them. The back that at first made Ryeowook felt cold. The behavior Kyuhyun shown, made him feel helpless, not needed. But after a few weeks, the back turned to a warm one. That he would hide behind it, being protected. And now he have to leave the secure that Kyuhyun is. He need to leave the warm Kyuhyun emitted. The peaceful life that he get use to it. He succumbed to the sweetness, to the warm as much that he forgot he had to left Kyuhyun in the end. And now he feel the pain because of his stupid forgetfulness.

“Are you free today?” Ryeowook asked little hesitantly. His eyes diverted from his feet to Kyuhyun.

“Yes I am.” Kyuhyun answered back, wiping his wet hands on the towel.

“Then you want to go out, for a walk?”

“I would love to.” Kyuhyun smiled slightly, making Ryeowook felt a pang on his chest: warm, yet painful.

After this, they get ready and went out.

The park was still green despite the fact that the winter was coming. Their path little wet from the nightly rain. Small wind touched their faces with a gentle hand. Sun shone on them- giving warm. It was all Ryeowook needed right now. And it was all he wanted to never stop. His eyes roamed around the park: laughing people, walking parents with kids, running kids. Joy and happiness. It was all he needed, all he wanted. His eyes landed on Kyuhyun, making his face slightly sad, yet full of happiness. I tried to memorize Kyuhyun’s face as best as he could. His brows, that almost always looked angry. His eyes that hide so many, yet looked warmly at him and gentle. The cheeks, that Ryeowook would like to run his hands over. The nose, sharp yet smooth. And lips. He remember kissing them that night. Feeling the burning sensation they left, making him addictive, making him wanting more.

“You want to seat there?” Kyuhyun asked and when Ryeowook nodded, they sat up on one of the benches. Kyuhyun then went and bought a fizzy drink for both of them. The tsss sound echoed around them and both of them engrossed in their drink.

“It’s always nice here, so peaceful.” Kyuhyun said, as he hold his can of drink. Ryeowook nodded with a small smile. It was ironic that after meeting Kyuhyun, he could smile. Almost half of his life, his lips were down, showing sadness. Yet now, Kyuhyun was able to open Ryeowook, reveling him, making him show his smile, his happy eyes- his happiness, that Ryeowook would a long time ago forgot, if not for Kyuhyun.

“Yes it is.”Ryeowook said lightly, making Kyuhyun look at him. He felt something was off with Ryeowook today. And it made him feel concerned. He tried to look inside the latter’s eyes, but couldn’t see through the blurry happiness, that felt a little fake. His heart felt a dull ache. Ryeowook was trying to hide something from him. He feel sad about it. He never thought, he would get attached to Ryeowook so much. He had a few people that was like Ryeowook, that knew about his existence. He made them stood up, but they would eventually leave. He would feel sorrow and sadness over the fact. They meant a lot to him, even more that the rest of people he helped, yet with Ryeowook, just a thought, that he would leave him, made him scared and felt a huge pain mixed with sadness.

Kyuhyun breathed and shook his head, to push away bad thoughts. It wasn’t a time for this. Ryeowook, wasn’t leaving, yet. But he knew he will have to tell his plan soon- today.

Today wasn’t a day to think about it, just yet, so both of them shook their heads and ended their drinks. After that, they stood up and headed to the mall. There they walk around looking at cute, nice things. Kyuhyun bought a few shirt, while Ryeowook bought nothing but a single flower pot with a bunch of flowers inside. The flowers were little with blue coloring their petals; gentle and smooth.

Next they stop on the aquarium, making Ryeowook almost faint from the dose of happiness. He never was in one. The halls were darkish, while the whiteness mixed with bluish colors played on the every surface, making the walls and the floor looks like they moved. A huge windows, displayed every fish possible. He saw sharks, or small fishes swimming in a huge pack. His eyes widen and hand gripped the hem o Kyuhyun’s shirt, when they saw the feeding of piranha. Everything was in water, in blue and moving- amazing. Ryeowook would never forget this day and so Kyuhyun. Both of them felt happiness that they could spend their time together and saw the beauty of nature. They hands would brush over the other from time to time, but they didn’t noticed. Kyuhyun or Ryeowook would pull the other or took a hem of their shirt, when they wanted to show something. Small gestures, none of them noticed, yet their hearts and bodies do; always thump faster or body felt a small eclectic shock.

They ended their exciting day in the restaurant near Kyuhyun’s apartment. They didn’t went to Park’s because the others’ restaurant was too far. The eat a nice, decent meals, talked about random things. And both of them ordered the same desert; cheesecake.

As they stepped into the apartment is was a late evening. Ryeowook placed the flower pot on the nightstand next to his bed, while Kyuhyun took a shower. It was when Ryeowook thought he had a chance to pack some of his things. He will left Kyuhyun tonight. He feared that if he will pack when Kyuhyun is sleeping he would wake him up. So he took Kyuhyun’s small backpack, that he thought the latter will not mind him taking and quickly placed a few of his belongings that he was able to collect while staying. His eyes sting with tears, nose started to run, but he pulled all these away; knowing Kyuhyun can’t see it. He pushed the backpack under the bed and headed to the living room in time, because Kyuhyun went out from the bedroom at the exact moment, giving Ryeowook’s turn to shower.

There in the shower, Ryeowook slide onto the floor and cried for a minute or two. He had to let the pain go somehow. He felt awful; like a soulless human. He then quickly took a shower and went out, bracing himself to face Kyuhyun, who was sitting on the balcony’s step.

“Done?” Kyuhyun asked as Ryeowook sat next to him, hugging his knees.

“Yeah, warm water is nice.” Ryeowook mumbled with a sigh, making Kyuhyun chuckle and take a drag of his cigarette. He lazily looked at Ryeowook, studying him. A pang of worry went through him as he saw Ryeowook had a red eyes. He stretched his hand and run a thumb