XXIII Missed dreams

“No matter how far you run. Distance might solve anything.”

- Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

***

The white and cold winter melted away, welcoming the first day of Spring. The snow watered away. In place, the sprouts of the first flowers of spring began growing.

The time of a year had come, where the big cities goes silent. While more than a few of their occupants, moved to see their parents in the countryside. as they ushered in the holidays, many city squatters  returned to their hometowns, spending time with their loved ones.

This time was one of the busiest in Sungmin’s family’s restaurant. Large families would go for a dinner in the local restaurant. Elders would lovingly force the food into the younger’s mouth, complaining how they weren’t fed enough. That time of a year, greeted Ryeowook unexpectedly. He was almost running from the kitchen, where he helped Sungmin’s mother, to the tables, where he served clients. He took orders with Sungmin and his father, who was feeling much better. even if the customers were few, four employees weren’t enough. Thankfully, they managed to cope.

It was half a year after Ryeowook’s dream about Kyuhyun. He could still see the scene of the angel’s wing being cut off, and feel the pain of the latter. And how he talked with God and went to earth. He still missed Kyuhyun dearly, but he knew he didn’t have a way to go back to him. Kyuhyun wanted him to leave , so he did it-  harshly, painfully but silently. He hoped Kyuhyun was happy now, not like him. He loved living in the countryside. He liked working with Sungmin’s parent and the man itself, but something was always missing. When day became night and as he laid in bed, he always Remembered Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun was always on Ryeowook’s mind, and the lonely nights were the most miserable.

“Ryeowook stop spacing out and help mom in the kitchen.” Sungmin yelled from across the room. And Ryeowook nodded and ran into the kitchen, getting busy with food preparation. He learned a lot in these past two years. Under Sungmin’s mom’s teaching,  he learned hard and successfully. He could work in any restaurant. He was almost like a professional cook.

He could hear chatter, the plates’ clatter, Sungmin’s voice, laughs and Min’s mother ordering, gentle voice. He felt safe and cozy here. It was as if belonged to the rush of the restaurant, to this life right now. The entrance door swung open and a small bell above it dinged, signaling a new customer. Ryeowook smiled hearing this sound. It meant that a new customer was here to eat the food he made. He loved making food, it gave him a feeling that he was good at something. No one complained about his food now. A year or more, some would, but he was too good now, to make people complain. He smiled at himself, when he tasted the soup. Yes smiled. He can smile freely now. After meeting Kyuhyun, he learnt that angels, God and good things existed. He learnt that life is more than just a black hole, waiting to devour him. He learnt that good things existed here and cherished them everyday. He changed himself completely. He could protect himself, stand on his own, all thanks to people Ryeowook never thought existed.

***

Sand dirtied Kyuhyun’s  black shoes as he walked down the road. The warm, spring wind played with his hair, tussling it playfully. His long, thin, black coat opened, reveal black shirt and pants. Kyu, wearing completely in black, walked on the sandy road. Cars passed him from time to time. He didn’t have a bag, and it was as if he was local to the area, but yet he was not.

The sun was high, shining warmly at him and other things. Clouds moved slowly, without rush. Kyuhyun felt peaceful here as if he could forget about everything, everyone. Yet, one person couldn’t leave his mind. No matter how much he wanted it (but he didn’t want it) that one man always was in his mind. He missed him dearly.

His stomach grumbled, signaling that the time for lunch had come. Kyu stopped in this countryside city for a day, before he went for a vacation in Jeju Island. Leeteuk and Sora, his dearest friends, told him to get a vacation finally, that he needed it, because he was almost like a living dead. They exaggerated, Kyuhyun thought, but he agreed nonetheless. He needed vacation, he knew that. His dark circles and bags under his eyes, showed his sleepless and crying nights. His lithe form and hollowed cheeks showed his lack of nutrition- his stomach just refused to take too much food.

He saw a small family restaurant not that far from the path he was walking and stopped by. The door’s bell jingled as he entered that place. A smell of homemade food wafted and filled his senses, making him smile a little. That smell brought back memories, when he and the person he loved, would try cooking. Kyu took a free table next to a window and looked outside. The view of blue ocean greeted him. It calmed his heart, which was previously torn from unrequited love.

Looking around Kyuhyun noticed a lot of families and people gathering in almost all the tables. He smiled lightly at the homey feeling, then propped his head on his hand, looking outside once more. The place was cozy and warm. He felt like home here. He heard a slightly familiar voice, calling someone from the kitchen, but he didn’t turn around. Soon someone stood behind him. Kyuhyun could feel the latter’s warmth. Turning around, his eyes met the orbs of the latter. He couldn’t suppress his gasp. He couldn’t believe at who he is looking at. Whose eyes are melting his heart right now.

“R-Ryeowook?” Kyuhyun stuttered, turning his body a little in the chair. He saw the shocked expression of the latter . His smile, turned into look of disbelief.

“Kyu-Kyuhyun?” Ryeowook asked back, hands went cold, mind blurred. “What- what are you doing here?” Kyuhyun’s eyes widened at the question. He wanted to ask the latter the same.

“I would ask the same. What are you doing here?” Kyuhyun reached his hand and touched the latter’s hand. This gesture made both of them felt an electric shocks running down their spines, these familiar tingles in their nerves. They could feel them only while being next to each other. Kyuhyun pulled Ryeowook’s hand and the latter sat opposite of him. Ryeowook blocked all noises, and it was as if Kyuhyun existed for him. Nothing was important right now. The man he dreamt about all those years, was before him. The taller man looked sick and older, which worried Ryeowook very much.  His eyes were sad, as grey bags showed under h