Chapter 38 ~ My Only Tears

You ran with dried tears all over your face as you searched for the ICU room where Myungsoo was put in. The scenes of you and him fought through the year suddenly flashed in to your mind. You regret everything you did. If only you he didn’t meet you. If only he didn’t fall in love with you. He wouldn’t be hurt nor suffers. You felt as if his accident was your fault even though he was the one who wanted to break up. You still fresh remember your conversations with Sungjong 40 minutes ago.

“WHAT?!! WH- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!! A… ACCIDENT?!!! HOW???!!!”

“Myungsoo hyung drank too much last night. He rode his motorbike and got into an accident because he was too drunk”

“S- Sungjong-ah, which hospital is he in now?”

For some reason, you knew why he drank too much alcohol. It was because of the break up between you and him. That’s why you blame yourself. You felt so guilty.


You entered the ICU room, panting crazily due to running from your school to the hospital which was like 9 km far. You stared at the unconscious Myungsoo who was lying on the hospital bed, looking pale like a vampire. “What happen to him, doctor?” you shakily asked the doctor that was in the room. The doctor paused from checking Myungsoo’s condition and raised a brow at you. “May I know who are you to him?” the doctor answered you with another question. “I’m his…….” you stuck for a while from replying him. You did not know what to tell him. It was indeed impossible if you tell him that you are Myungsoo’s ex-girlfriend. “I’m his girlfriend. Is it okay if you tell me what happened? I’m really worried” you finally responded and walked closer to the hospital bed where Myungsoo was. The doctor became silence for a moment before releasing a sorrow sigh. “I’m so sorry, miss. Your boyfriend….. He’s…” the doctor began. “What’s wrong with him, doctor?” you became anxious as you held your tears from coming down again.


“He’s currently in coma”


Your knees weakened and finally you couldn’t help yourself but to let your river of tears come down non-stop. You covered your mouth tightly with your right hand, preventing you from crying out loud, as your left arm was crossed to your right waist. You shook your head early, not wanting to believe what the doctor said. You gripped onto the doctor’s shoulders and slight shook them. “You’re lying, right, doctor? There’s no way… There’s no way he’s coma. If you say he break his arm or anything, I’ll believe it. But… Coma?!! No!!! I don’t want to believe you!!” you sniveled and loosened your grip from the doctor’s shoulders. The doctor looked at you with sympathy. He patted your shoulders to comfort you. “I’m sorry, miss. Your boyfriend is really in coma. We have no idea when will he wake up as the patient himself, don’t want to wake up. His brain won’t let him wake. I’m afraid we have to wait patiently until he wakes up one day” the doctor explained which made you cried even more. “I’ll take my leave now. If anything happen to him please inform me as fast as you can” he continued and left you alone in the ICU with the unconscious Myungsoo.

You sat down on the chair beside the bed. You took his right hand and intertwined it with your right hand. You could feel it. You could feel the warmness when you touch him. You gave a long peck on his hand before examining his face. His face looked horrible. There were scars all over his cheeks and some dried wounds on his forehead and chin. “Gaesekki, did you even wear your helmet last night?” you talked to him with cracked voice. On his arms, there were some scratches and long scar on his left arm. “Jinja pabo. Kim Myung Soo, why did you drink so much last night? Why did you not wear your helmet, huh?!!! Stupid! Dumb!!! Fool!!!! Why are you so stupid, Kim Myung Soo?!! Why are you so selfish??” you sobbed and buried your head in to his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. “Wake up, you fool! You don’t deserve to lie down here like a dead person. You need to wake. I need to scold you for your dumb behavior. Wake up…. please” you cried. It felt like thorns were stabbing your heart. You felt breathless and cold.

You were then disturbed by the door swung open. You turned around to see a middle-aged woman in front of the door with Myungsoo’s father. You quickly acknowledged that the woman was Myungsoo’s mother. You immediately stood up and went to them. “I’m so sorry” you bowed politely to them without knowing why you said sorry.  Myungsoo’s mother raised a brow curiously. “And you are?” she questioned her. “I’m Nam Hae Shin, Myungsoo’s…… friend. I’ll take my leave if my presence is bothering for you” you muttered and walked to the door with a painful headache. Myungsoo’s mother widened her eyes, surprised. “Wait! You don’t have to leave. You may stay here if you want t-“ her words were cut off when she turned around and saw you were already on the ground, fainted. She ran to you together with Myungsoo’s father and bent down to you.

“HAESHIN-SSI!!! Haeshin-ssi, are you okay?!!! Wake up, Haeshin-ssi!!!!” she shook your body but you did not budge. 
 

“Will she be okay, doctor?” Myungsoo’s mother asked the doctor who examined your condition. The doctor bit down his lower lip. Worried was written all over his face. “Mrs.Kim, do you perhaps know what is her sickness?” the doctor asked. Myungsoo’s mother quickly replied a ‘no’ to him. “She has emotions disorder” the doctor informed. “A what?!!” Mrs.Kim gasped in surprise. “H- How?” she stuttered. “It’s probably a trauma from her past or something. I’m not sure. In her health record, Doctor Cha have been her permanent health doctor. I’ll try to ask him for more information later on” the doctor explained and bowed to Mrs.Kim before leaving the room where you were in.

‘Park Sun Hae used to have the same disease as her daughter’

Your eyes slowly fluttered open and just like when you fainted the other times, you could see the white ceiling of the hospital ward. You saw a feminine figure standing beside you and as your vision became clearer you realized that it was Myungsoo’s mother. “What happen to me?” you asked politely. “You fainted, dear” she answered you warmly and your hair lovingly. You didn’t say anything after that as you were enjoying her your hair. It really felt like your own mother was your hair. “Dear, do you happen to have any sickness?” Mrs.Kim broke the silence, still your hair. You shook your head and said, “No. Woohyun oppa said I’m very healthy since I was young. My health kind of resemble my Hoya oppa who is very healthy and energetic”. Mrs. Kim smiled sweetly at you yet she pitied you so much in her heart. ‘She must’ve suffered a lot when she was young. It is better if she doesn’t know about her health’ Mrs. Kim silently thought.


Mrs.Kim watched you as you were resting your head beside Myungsoo, sleeping peacefully after crying for hours. Something a