Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=taDtj7PcCLw
Empty bottles were scattered on to the floor and ash trays were left toppled over and thrown carelessly all over the place. I glanced blankly at the floor before reaching out to take yet another bottle of soju. It wasn't long before I chugged it all down. I tried to stand up and get another one, but I fell down, my eyesight disoriented. I soon gave up trying after numerous tries, and just sat there, trying to gain the control that I have lost. I've been drunk everyday so far, and it didn't seem like there will be a day where I could be sober.
After you left, I lost control
I become drunk every night and stumble around
My thoughts led from the alcohol to the picture laying across the floor, the frame broken and the glass cracked. She warm eyes penetrated through my body and I let out a tear. I missed everything; her bright eyes and precious face, her happy attitude and geniune smile. More tears fell down from my eyes to the ground, soaking some of the ash of a cigarette I was smoking before.
"Damn it." I let out a series of curses. I knew my control would fade away the more I thought about her. Swaying because of the intoxication of my mind, I went over to the fridge and took out yet another bottle of soju.
Spit out curses because I think of you, who was cold
I drank even more and felt myself lose all balance. I stumbled on to the floor, landing on the filthy ground. I didn't bother to rise from the ground and just stayed there, leaning against the fridge. My breathing was heavy and my eyes were watery. I haven't showered in days so my hair was unkempt and smelled of smoke and alcohol, my skin stained of ash and dirt, and my breath reeked of drugs and smoke. I smirked at my appearance. I was a mess inside-out.
I feel dirty
After a few hours of drinking and taking a few smokes, I swayed and stumbled over to the bathroom to let go of the sickness that was coming up my throat. My reflection chuckled at how miserable I looked. This is what Yoona didn't like: unkempt, unclean, messy guys. I soon replaced my bitter chuckle with a dark frown. I wasn't supposed to be thinking about her. I wasn't supposed to still miss her. The more I stared at my expression, the angrier I got. My breathing was shaky but heavy and my frown got deeper. My tears stung my eyes and fell down my face, and I became more frustrated.
"Stop looking at me like that, bastard!" I gave out a scream and raised my fist, it collided with the reflection. I gasped in pain and held on to my bleeding hand that was throbbing in pain. I gazed upon the smashed mirror in front of me and widened my eyes a bit, tears falling through my face even more. Why was she always there?
I overflow in anger, and scream
Your face that appears in the cracked mirror
The cracks reminded me of how our happy ending came to be. Cracked. Broken. Shattered. God was not merciful on us when he held her life in his hands. He didn't bother to give both of us the slightest chance of hope. No, he had to break it all like the mirror in front of me. The Lord had to take her life away and leave me alone and ruined.
It seems like our love that’s broken into many pieces
I stood up on the highest part, looking down at the rocky sea beneath me. I took a deep breath. How people are calm because of the sea I do not know, for here I am, still uncontrollable and excited to see my end. Memories resurfaced on to my mind: Yoona and I walking by the shore, holding hands and talking comfortably, she and I sharing stories of our life as we sat down, her telling me that she never leave my side...
The irony of reality was really too humorous.
I felt myself pushing back any memory I had of her and giving a scream at the top of my lungs. I then took a few steps back, hearing the depressed howl I gave echo across the sea. Bracing myself, I stepped forward to the edge and faintly smiled to myself.
I stand at the end of this tiring cliff, and
rip apart the memories I had with you
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I couldn't control the amount of tears that stung my eyes as I drink down yet another drink. I was cold, lonely and lost. There was no exit, no help, no friendly hand to help me back up, and not even a tiny bit of hope left. I felt more lost than a child without his mother. I tried to find a way, any way, to escape this pain that suffocated me until I could barely breathe. All I could do is do the same thing over and over again: drink endlessly and smoke a lot.
What can I do What can I do
I get lost in a maze and stay in that spot
I tried to find her face, but it was hopeless. She was already gone. Her presence disappeared in every place it was. I wanted so badly to get out of this inescapable maze and see her face, but everything was unclear. It was all fuzzy in my eyes, and her face was not distinct.
What can I say what can I say
It’s becoming blurred
I can’t see your face
I stumbled and tripped over to my house, feeling lost in my own home. I didn't bother to turn on the lights and just collapsed on the cold floor, the pain I was supposed to feel not present. I banged my head on to the wall harshly, and felt myself slip in to my subconscious. I was engulfed in nothing but black, and was held tight by a black rope. I tried to struggle free, but my attempts were stopped when the rope bit me. I turned to look at the rope closer and was shocked. It was a snake, trying to nibble on to my skin. I tried struggling even more, but it was a futile attempt. He held me down with such force that just couldn't be escaped. The more he bit me, the more I cried out. It wasn't from pain -no- it was from fear. The black snake opened his mouth widely and was about to engulf me, and I cried out in fear.
I can’t move in the darkness
I can’t feel anything
Gasp.
It was only a dream. I felt myself choke on my sobs as I hugged my knees. I was scared. Suffocation and fear surrounded me as I held un my tears. Memories flooded back to when I was scared of what would happen to my father when he died. My twelve year old self cried a river of tears that seemed almost incurable. The other only stood there in shock before giving a small comforting small and hugging my frail shivering figure, whispering that everything was going to be alright. Oh how I wished that she was here to console me like that again.
Then again, it was because of her that I'm like this.
I tried my best to cling on to every memory without breaking down, but it was too hard. I had to let streams of my sadness fall from my eyes to my face, calling out her name in between the blubbering and soft sobs.
Tears fall down
I’m trapped in memories of you, no
Please hold onto my hand, so that I can wake up
I tried my best to call out her presence, but it was no where to be found. I begged the Lord to let me hold her in my arms just once more. I threatened him so many times to bring her back, but it was useless. All I could do was whisper for her not to leave though useless.
Please don’t go
She left a long time ago.
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Yep, I have too many angsty songs ;~;
I enjoyed writing this oneshot though. The song is beautiful and I love showing so many feelings on to this. I admit that it wasn't my best (I tried so hard, but my attempts ) but this was one of the most enjoyable to make.
I need to know this for sure though. Are my plots too similar? I'm not so sure why, but I always make Yoona die in these. I know that's pretty harsh, but I really don't realize it until it's too late. I know. I know. I need to stop making her die.
It's another B.A.P song from their album "One Shot" and I have to say that I enjoy this album so much. Have you SEEN the music video? It was so heartbreaking and the members were amazing actors considering that they are rookies. I am so blown away by that group that...okay I'll think of something later but seriously. Blown. Away.
I am PLEADING for a girl group song. I've only had one song from a girl group, and I want more. I also need a more cheery song. It would be great for Valentine's Day that's tomorrow.
Sorry if I sound like I'm in a negetive mood. It's because of this guy who's been stalking me since the beginning of school. He gave me a letter saying that me likes me and stuff and I rejected him (well my friends did since I was a wuss). He's still following me still (messaging me on Facebook, following me around school, eyeing me, leaving notes, etc.), so now I'm all scared and frustrated since he won't leave me alone. ;~; This guy is really no joke. He's too persistant.
Sorry for letting out my personal problems on you guys :/ I had to let it all out.
Anyway, I know this is pretty annoying for you guys, but could you guys support my page? I post Infinite stuff on it and, though I'm pretty sure that some of you guys really know/care about Infinite that muchy, it'd still be nice if you liked my page: http://www.facebook.com/#!/WeGotTheOrangeJuuiceYeah
Thanks in advance.
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