Feel So Bad

30 Day IPod Shuffle Challenge for YoonHae (FAILED)

Here's the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=-SPAAJIcdbA


A soft brush on my shoulder gave me shivers as I passed by. I darted my eyes away and proceeded on, not bothering to look back at her. I will just pretend. She wasn't Im Yoona, but a stranger. Just a stranger.

 

Pass me by, I’ll pretend not to have seen those eyes
I’ll just say that I didn’t see you

 

Unfortunately, she didn't help me believe that. She tapped on my shoulder, calling with her soft angelic voice, “Donghae Oppa.” She was oozing with warmth, but I felt an icy shiver run up my spine. I cleared my throat and used all of my willpower to walk away, trying to hold on to my collapsing heart that still threatened to shatter.

 

Please just ignore me
Before my shaking heart collapses

 

This scene didn't just happen today. It happened once, or twice -no- three times already, and I acted the same. Before I would've thought of it as fate, or destiny.

 

This coincidence happened once, twice, three times
Now it feels like you are destiny

 

That was before, but this isn't the past. Those three times we walked by each other, those three times we would just go our separate ways, those were the three times I missed her. Im Yoona, the moon that shined brighter than the sun whether it was day or night, the one who can dance gracefully but with power, the one I fell in love with. Sadly.

 

For the last time, just once, twice, three more times, I keep missing you

 

I was her best friend, and that's all she saw me as. I never knew that before, but I would've never known if she didn't tell me about him. I would've kept that smile on my face if she wasn't already taken.

 

 

All I saw were tears when she came to my mind. My heart would beat so fast that it would hurt. My blood would run cold whenever her hand would accidentally brush upon mine.

 

 

Was this what love was supposed to feel like? If it was, then I despise this feeling so much. What was the point in me falling in love, if she can never be mine?

 

 

I tried to convince myself that it wasn't love before and avoided her whenever and wherever. It didn't matter if SNSD and Super Junior were partying together, if we were at SMTOWN's concert, or if we were just lounging in our dorms; If she was near, I would avoid. I tried my best to empty out my mind of anything that might make me remember the girl that shined so brightly.

 

I tried convincing myself that it’s not and tried to avoid you

 

I tried. I tried so hard. And what do I get? Failure.

 

 

What happened to me then? What did I become? I became a complete coward, wanting to see her so badly. I wanted her so much that even dancing my heart out with Eunhyuk couldn't rid me of my desire. I wanted -no- needed her so bad.

 

But now I became a cowardly man and I want you

 

I knew that it didn't matter whether I wanted or needed her though, because she already had someone else. I would've fought for her if it was anyone else, but that wasn't the case. My lover's boyfriend just had to be my best friend.

 

Siwon.

 

I cared for them too much to even think about breaking them off. I never could look at them with any hatred, just melancholy. I just wished for their happiness and went on my way to avoid the couple as much as possible.

 

Both of you are so precious to me, you and the person next to you

 

That didn't mean that I didn't feel like they both took everything for me. They took it all: my heart, my soul, my happiness, my love, and even my smile. Everything I've ever dreamed of, my best friend and his companion had it all.

 

But why is it you who happened to take everything?
Everything that I ever wanted

 

So I let those tears drop down my face once I was sure that she was out of range from noticing.

 

Tears fall when I see you- I can’t have you but I want you

 

She probably went back to him to spend the small amount of time they would be able to have with each other until SNSD goes to perform on stage. My heart fell heavy at the scene of Siwon letting Yoona snuggle up to his chest and breathing in her strawberry scent, that Alligator whispering sweet nothings to him as they both let warmth take over each other.

 

 

I felt my hand going up to touch my chest, feeling empty. Why did you touch my heart, Yoona?

 

 

I let myself silently cry to myself as I heard the announcer call up SNSD to perform their new song "I Got A Boy". To be honest with their new song, I wasn't that big of a fan. I perferred their songs to be somewhere along the lines of "Into the New World" or "Gee" where they had that cute image stowed upon them.

 

During those times, Yoona and I bonded the most.

 

But, never the less, I let my ears enjoy some of the beats as I lay my eyes only on the brightly shining brunette who smiled at the camera. She was surely a beauty.

 

 

I need you... I want you... I love you....

 

 

 

Feels so bad.

 

~~~~

Worst song drabble EVER! I didn't really get that feel like I wanted ;~; awws.

So I decided to sort of continue thanks to just this one comment >< I felt good inside when she urged me on. What happened before was pretty unfortunate, but I should at least try again right?

NOW I'm actually starting it, and I decided to just take an old story, kind of alter it, and put the lyrics in there so that you can follow along with what the story is about.

By the way, should I keep bolding the lyrics?

And...

some of you readers might be mad at me for bashing SNSD's new song :/ Yeah I know that a lot of people like this new change in them.

But I'm not really one of those people. I mean, their beats were practically all over the place and it didn't really mix well together. I also (kind of) don't really like the whole hip hop/ romantic concept that they got going on. It just confused me. Sorry.

But I'm not here to start picking on SNSD's new song. I'm here to embrace the YOONHAE... that didn't have many moments last year and this year. My hopes are slowly starting to crumble DD:

Oh my gawd I'm being so negetive right now...

You know what? SCREW being negetive thoughts! I will not let it ruin me. I admit that I was really bummed out when my first oneshot was saved over, I won't let it stop me. I WILL PREVAIL!

Oh YEAH! Well I got this song from Infinite >< Shuffle just loves me. I'm starting to really REALLY like that band. I mean, I didn't really care for them at first, but then I started looking in to them from my friend and then all this fan girl stuff happened the more I did go in to them. I suggest that you check them out too.

So sorry for the long Author's note. I just got a lot to say, so yeah :pp

Have some Infinite aeygo

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Comments

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ChocoCaramel #1
Chapter 1: awww poor donghae :(
nerdscandy #2
Chapter 29: And thank you for writing all of those <3 I really loved them, and especially because YOONHAE was in them
nerdscandy #3
Chapter 29: Aww :( It's alright, but you probably did a lot more than you expected I hope? :D
There's always a next time
nerdscandy #4
Chapter 28: Nice sequel! :D Finally a sequel
nerdscandy #5
Chapter 27: Dang this one is sooooo mysterious and the plot was really unexpected
I think you have a sequel in mind? :)
nerdscandy #6
Chapter 26: Why is fate so cruel to them? I hope they can get together soon!
iamagirl_
#7
Chapter 26: This is sooooo...beautiful :')
nerdscandy #8
Chapter 25: Ahaha OMG they are so adorable <3
Hehe I loved how you portrayed yoona's thoughts
But I also wanna read donghae's thoughts. However, you didn't write them out and that left a sense of mystery and suspense, which was also really intriguing.
LilyLOL
#9
Chapter 13: Good chapter! You have to listen them song such as beautiful target, only learned bad things, or baby I'm sorry, it will inspire you, seriously Author-nim :D
nerdscandy #10
Chapter 24: Danggg I thought they were going to break up, but then they didn't! OMG the ending <3 <3 <3