Part 1

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“How do you run away from things that are in your head?”

“You don’t. You face them and hopefully one day they’ll leave or you learn to accept whatever they are.”

“Tao?”

“Hmm?”

“What’s your new year resolution?”

“To make you happy.”

“Why?”

“Because everyone deserves to be happy. You’ve been through a lot of pain and I think that you deserve to be happy  now and forever for what you’ve been through.”

“Thanks but I’m okay.”

“No you’re not. You want you’re self to think that you’re okay.”

“I must be fine because my heart’s still beating.”

“When was the last time you weren’t okay, then?”

“When I read Chanyeols letter.”

“So you’re okay now?”

“I hope so.”

            Silence was brought upon the 2 as they sat in the living room of Kris’ apartment. After Christmas had passed Tao made it his mission to visit Kris daily to make sure he was okay. Sometimes their conversations would be dark and dreary, other days there were no conversations. Most of the time they just enjoyed each other’s company. Others times Tao would tell Kris some stories that he’s read or seen on tv. Kris didn’t mind Tao. He actually started to like Tao’s company. It was soothing to him. He didn’t feel so alone anymore.

            After the New Year, Kris had to go back to work. Tao still went to Kris’ house daily, just much later and their visits were much shorter. Sometimes Kris would arrive to the smell of food being  prepared  and he stood in the doorway just admiring how welcoming his home felt. He wasn’t lonely anymore. He still thought of Chanyeol a lot. He still thought it was his fault.  Not a day went by that Kris didn’t think of Chanyeol. But what he thought was different. His thoughts started to be memories of their childhood. The happy moments. But on those nights that he thought of his childhood the more depressed he got because those were all just memories that only he could remember. The other person was gone from the world because of him.

            Every day Kris would look forward to Taos visit. He felt clingy, he felt to attached, he felt almost like he constantly annoyed Tao. He felt as if even if Tao was the one that was coming to his house that he was the one that was bothering him because he was taking up Tao’s day. He was the burden to Tao not the other way around. He never felt like Tao was a burden to him even when Tao would just go inside of his house like it was his own. Eventually Kris figured out that Tao had made a copy of his key and always kept it with him so he wouldn’t have to wait outside when it was cold. Kris didn’t mind at all. He was happy that Tao made himself at home.

“Kris?

“Yes”

“Have you ever loved someone? Like real love not just a whatever kind of love.”

“No. Have you? “

“No. I want to experience real love though. I want someone to love me for me. I want to be able to tell them about my life and them not running away cause I had a messed up life.”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone.”

“Do you ever want to find someone that really loves you?”

“There’s no one that would ever love me. Especially if I tell them about Chanyeol. I’m not capable of being loved. Its takes my mental breakdown for my own mother to love me, why would anyone love me.”
“I’m sure there are plenty of people that are willing to date you as well. I mean you’re good looking, have a job, and are well put together.”

“Are you going to tell me that you love me? Because if you are that’s kind of weird?”

“WHAT?! NO! I was just saying that you’ll find someone someday. It may not be as soon as you want it to be but eventually you’ll find someone that loves you for you.”

“When’s your day off?”

“Saturday. Why?”
“Let’s go out. I mean it’s nice that we’re always together in here all warm and cozy but you need some fresh air since you’re always coopt up with work and then you come home and never go out.”

“What did you want to do?”

“Let’s go to the park, and then get icecream.”

“You do realize that it’s winter right.”

“Yes, but the icecream shopped are always pretty empty and the cafes area always really pact so it’d be better if we went to get ice cream.”

“What if we get sick?”
“I can take care of you if you get sick.”

“Who’s going to take care of you if you get sick?”

“I don’t get sick since I always eat ice cream during winter so my bodies kind of used to it.”

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            Once Saturday came around Tao went to Kris’ house extra early since he wanted to make Kris breakfast.  He found Kris sleeping when he got there he decided to cook first then to wake Kris up later. While Tao was in the kitchen getting everything ready Kris woke up from the smell of the food. He walked slowly to kitchen to try and surprise Tao while he was in the kitchen. Once he got to the end of the hall he heard Tao humming happily so he peaked out from the corner and saw Tao cooking Pancakes and frying bacon in a pan. He cancelled his plans of surprising Tao and decided to just stand there and just watch Tao.

            When Tao was done he thought of bringing Kris his breakfast to bed, but he chose against it since it seemed kind of weird. So he was surprised to find Kris leaning against the door frame when he turned around from the table.

“Hey”

“Hi.”
“What’s for breakfast?”

“Pancakes and bacon and eggs with juice or coffee.”

“Sounds delicious.”

“How long were you standing there for.”

“Since you were making the pancakes.”

“Oh. Did I wake you up?”

“Kind of, but it was a good wakeup call since I woke up cause of the smell of pancakes.”

“Well then it’s okay. When we’re done go wash up and I’ll clean up.”

“Alright.”

            The rest of breakfast went in silence. There were some chewing noises and sips from Taos side whenever he would drink his juice. It was comfortable for them both.  At one point Kris looked up and laughed because of Tao stuffing his face with the remains of his plate. To him Tao made it seem almost as if he hadn’t eaten in months. Then he wondered who did the cooking back at home. Was it Tao or his mother? Kris hadn’t gone back home since Christmas. It’s been almost a month since he had his mental break down in front of his mother. He didn’t know if his father  knew about it or if his mother chose to keep it a secret from him. He guess his mother told him since his father hadn’t called him and asked why he hadn’t been home on Christmas.

“What are you thinking about?”

“My father.”

“Oh. What about him?”

“If he knows about what happened on Christmas.”

“No, he doesn’t…. Mom just told him that you couldn’t make it cause your job couldn’t give you any days off at the moment.”

“Oh.”

“Are you okay with it?”

“I guess. I’ll be okay eventually.”

“You will be okay and remember you still have to look out for the love of your life.”

“Hahaha yes the love of my life that has never presented themselves to me.”

“Come on. Go get ready while I clean up the kitchen.”

“Okay. God so pushy so early in the morning.”

“Kris its 10 am. It’s not that early.”
“Oh. Okay I’ll go.”

            Once Kris was finished getting ready and the kitchen was once again clean they headed out of the apartment and into the cold are. There weren’t many people out for it to be Saturday, but then again it was winter and it had snowed quite a bit. They walked slowly to the park not too far away from Kris’ apartment. There were a few people in the park with their dogs. Then there were families with small children playing in the snow. Some of the children looked like small colorful puffs of cotton because of how big their jackets were so they wouldn’t get cold.

            Tao looked over at Kris and saw a small smile find its way up to Kris’ face. Tao was happy that Kris was enjoying himself. He liked to think that he was just a little bit closer to achieving his goal in making Kris happy.

“Kris, why don’t you ever hang out with your friends?”

“Because I have you.”

“I’m being serious. You never have friends over and you’re never on the phone with friends.”

“I guess I’m just not a very likable person. Besides friends come and go.  They’re never there forever and eventually you have to say goodbye to someone you’ve become attached to. I have a few friends but they all decided to travel the world first and then settle down in a house and have a family. I chose to stay here and just live my life. I would like to travel someday but I wouldn’t like to see the whole world. I want there to still be some mystery to the world for me when I get old. “

“That nice I guess. I wouldn’t want to travel.”

“Why?”

“You get lost all the time. Don’t know what anyone is saying. You cant read the signs that are up unless they have pictures. And you’d only go to the tourist parts of the country. What point is there in going to a different country when then part you go to is made to please those just like you : young, stupid, and inexperienced with life. If you really want to experience life just stay where you are. There are plenty of things you haven’t experienced in your own country so why go to a foreign land where you know nothing. At least if you get lost in your own country you can ask for help.”

“You sound as if you’ve experienced this.”

“I have. Or have you forgotten that I’m Chinese.”

“Well not completely since your name isn’t Korean.”

“Well good cause I don’t plan on losing my Chinese heritage just because I’m in a different country.”

 “Okay. Can we go to that ice cream shop now I’m freezing and I feel like my nose is about to fall off.”
“Sure. Come on. I’ll lead the way since I’m pretty sure you don’t eat ice cream very often.”

“How’d you guess?”

“Oh I can just tell when a fun person like you eats ice cream or not.”

“Oh, Hey I AM NOT A FUN ER!”

“Of course you’re not Mr. Office man”

            Those on the outside looking at them two would see to young men smiling and laughing in a heartwarming way. Almost like a couple but once Tao took off running it no longer seemed so much like a couple but more of just friendship especially after hearing the insults that left Kris’ mouth once he started chasing Tao.

            Once they reached the ice cream shop they stayed outside to catch their breath from running all the way from the park to the shop. Once they were okay they went in and were greeted with warmth. The shop was almost empty except for some couples that sat together scattered around the shop.

“How may I help you.”

“I want a Strawberry Cheese Cake Sunday please.”

“Alright and for you?”

“I’ll –“

“He’ll get the same thing.”

“Alright. Sit down were you wish and I’ll  bring you your olders.”

“Thanks you.”

“Why’d you order for me?”

“Because you were probably going to order vanilla.”

“How’d you know.”

“You have a boring personality and you don’t like to try new things so I chose for you.”

“I’m not boring.”

“Right. You keep telling yourself that.”

“Here are your orders. 2 Strawberry Cheesecake Sundays.”

“Thank you.”

            While they were eating their ice cream they made small talk. Nothing really serious mainly just about their interests and their dreams for the future. Once they finished their ice cream Kris and Tao fought over who would pay, they eventually settled it with a game of rock-paper-scissors. Kris didn’t feel like going home just yet so he asked Tao if he wanted to go watch a movie. Tao being the person he is accepted. Happy that Kris wanted to stay out more than they had planned was good because that means the more that Kris would be out of his shell. When they got to the theater Kris asked Tao what movie he wanted to see but Tao sort of ignored him and walked towards games since he wanted to play. Eventually Kris just bought 2 tickets to Paranormal Activity 4.

            They bought their snacks and went into the theater. Tao still had no idea what movie they were watching since he went off to play. He looked over to Kris and saw him eating some of the popcorn he looked happy. He looked like he was having a good time and this made Tao happy. When the movie started Tao tensed up realizing that Kris had picked a horror movie. In his appearance Tao seemed like he wouldn’t scare easily, but in reality Tao hates horror movies. He always had nightmares or he just wouldn’t be able to sleep at all. Ever since the movie started Tao had hid behind his hands. Half way into the movie Kris looked over at Tao and saw how frightened he was so he pulled Taos hand away from his face and intertwined their hands as a reassurance that it was okay. Tao looked at Kris in confusion but was grateful that Kris hadn’t laughed at him. Instead of hiding behind hid hands Tao openly hid his face in Kris’ shoulder. Every once in a while Kris would squeeze Taos hand in reassurance. Once the movie ended Kris pulled Tao out of the movie theater and into the streets. It had gotten even colder but neither of them realized since their hands were intertwined.

“Why did you pick a scary movie?”
“You didn’t tell me you didn’t like scary movies. I asked you what movie you wanted to watch but you left to go play.”

“Oh. Thanks though. You know, for not laughing at me.”

“Why would I laugh. Everyone’s scared of something,”

“What are you scared of?”

“Hurting those that I cherish.”

“That’s an irrelevant fear. Everyone’s scared of hurting those they love. What’s your real fear?”

“Ok. I’m scared of spiders.”

“Really? Spiders?”

“Yeah. They’re so creepy just crawling around everywhere making webs and then if they get into your house when you go to sleep they lay eggs in your ears.”

“Alright. That’s not that bad.”

“What do you wanna do now?”

“Whatever’s fine.”

“Do you wanna go eat? I’m kind of hungry.”

“Sure, what do you want to eat..”

“I want to Chinese food. Like actual Chinese food.”

“Well then I guess we have to go to the grocery store.”

“Why?”

“So I can cook you real Chinese food.”

“Really!? Thank you Tao.”

‘’You’re welcome. Now can we go, I’m cold.”

“Sure lets go.”

            Neither of them realized that their hands were still linked together. Neither of them minded either. It was comfortable. It was warm. It was loving.

            Once they got to the grocery store, Tao got into the cart and ordered Kris to push him to vegetable section. Kris chuckled but did what he was told. Once they had gotten all the vegetables Tao asked Kris to push him towards the Meat section and like before Kris did as he was told. It went on like this till all the ingredients were collected and Tao could no longer move in the cart from all the stuff that was in the cart.  Once they got to the cash register the women behind the register looked at them and just smiled. Once all the groceries were out of the cart Tao jumped out of the cart almost falling if Kris hadn’t caught him.  They proceded with putting the groceries into the bags and paying. When they reached outside there was a small breeze that passed by them and Tao shivered at the feeling of the cold air on his once warm body.

“What are you going to make with all of this stuff?”

“Dongpo Pork, Fish-Fry with Peanuts, Stir-Fried Water Spinach, and Deep Fried Tofu.”

“That all sounds delicious. Can we hurry. I’m getting hungrier just thinking about it and its really cold.”

“Okay lets go.”

They reached the apartment and let out a sigh of relief when they stepped foot in and were greeted with warmth. They shrugged off their coats and headed towards the kitchen so Tao could start preparing the food. Tao said he’d do it by himself so Kris went into the living room to watch some tv. About an  hour later Tao called out to Kris to set the table so they could eat. Once Kris was done with the table Tao came up behind him with 2 bowls of white rice and asked Kris to help him bring out the rest of the dishes.

“ This looks amazing.”

“Thanks.”

            There was a small conversation kept throughout dinner and Kris would let out a moan of delight every once in a while to signal that the food was delicious. After hearing Kris’ moans of delight Tao would smile.

            After dinner both Tao and Kris cleaned up the kitchen. Then the dishes were  the last thing to be done. They decided that they could both do the dishes together. Kris washing while Tao was drying and putting the dishes away.

“I had fun today.”

“Me too.”

“Are you gonna go home?”

“Yea.”

“Why don’t you stay the night?”

“Are you sure?”

“It was nice having you spend the night on Christmas. I like having you around.”

“Alright, I’ll just call mom and tell her.”

“hmm”

“Hello.”

“Hi mom, I called to tell you that I’m spending the night with Kris since its getting late.”

“Alright honey. Where you with Kris all day?”

“Yea. I made breakfast, then we went to the park and then we went to eat ice cream then he took me to see a movie. The movie was terrible, it was a horror movie. I was so scared, but I guess that was my fault since I didn’t pay attention to him when he asked me what movie I wanted to see. And then afterwards we went to the store since Kris was hungry and wanted Chinese food so I made him Chinese food. We got done eating and we just finished cleaning,”

“That sounds like a lovely day. I’m glad you had fun.”

“I did. It was amazing.”

“Tao, honey, do you think I could talk to Kris for a moment? I want to ask him something.”

“Sure.”

“Kris, mom wants to talk to you.”

“Bring me the phone then, I don’t want to get up I just got comfortable.”

“Okay.”

“Hello.”

“Hi baby, I was wondering if you were free tomorrow night?”

“Yea. Well if you consider Tao coming over for his daily visit free then yes,”

“Great. I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come home and eat dinner with us. As a family.”

“Is dad going to be there?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll think about it. I’ll tell Tao before he leaves tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

“Can you passed the phone to Tao.”

“Mmmm.”

“Yea.”

“Tao now you be sure to hug Kris extra tight tonight while you guys sleep. Its going to be cold tonight so keep eachother warm with your body heat.”

“But we don’t sleep in the same room.  I sleep in the guest room.”

“You will do as I tell you no matter what Kris says. You will cuddle to keep warm.”

“Okay.
 Kris mom says that I have to sleep with you so we can cuddle and stay warm through the night.”

“Really. Does she know nothing. I will kill you if you sleep in the same bed as me. I will literally hug you to death in your sleep.”
“Mom I don’t want to die in my sleep tonight even if its from hugging Kris.”

“Alright then but keep warm. I love you both. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

“You know I was kidding right?”
“About what.”

“Killing you. I don’t mind if you want to sleep with me. It’d be extra comforting having you to latch onto.”

“Are you sure you wont kill me? I’m still young you know. I don’t want to die young.”

“I’m sure I wont kill you.”

“Okay. I’ll go get ready for bed.”

“Okay I’ll just be here and I’ll shower after you.”

“Wait I don’t have any clothes to wear.”

“You can borrow some of mine.”

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

            Once the both of them were ready for bed they crawled into Kris’ bed. At first Tao stuck to the edge of the bed not wanting to disturb Kris but he felt a slight tug on the shirt he was wearing. So he turned around and gave Kris a questioning look.

“Mom said we have to cuddle. Or are you going to disobey her.”

            Hearing Kris’ words Tao smiled and scoot towards Kris’ open arms.  He found warmth in Kris. Tao felt safe in his embrace, he felt as if he belonged in Kris’ embrace.

They’d only met about a month before but Tao felt like he belonged with Kris. His mission in keeping Kris happy was slowly making progress.

They both fell into a deep slumber in each other’s embrace feeling happy and complete.  

A/N: Hey everyone. So i told those that asked for a sequel that i would make one and here it is. it's actually not done. i'm going to keep adding to this until i feel it's completely done. i don't know if it'll be just one more chapter or 5-10 more chapters, but so far i really like how its going, i spent a couple of hours on this  and i feel like this is good enough to be the first part of this sequel,

   if you liked it or if you didn't like it tell me in a comment and you can suggest things that i can put in later chapters to improve my writing or improve the story.