No Dream, No Hope

A Perfectly Starry Dream ✰

Sang Hee’s POV

As I soon saw my house in the distance, I couldn’t wait to be back home. I wanted to rest after this memorable yet exhausting day. I hastened my steps, lightened by the beautiful and enjoyable day I had just spent.

There was now barely any gleam of the sun left; the darkness of the night had settled onto the streets. Only the faint streetlights guided my path as the wind had risen slightly. A few car lights were seen at times, although they passed by as quickly as they appeared.

I always felt uncomfortable walking during night, even when the night had just fallen unto the streets.

It was a good thing I was right in front of my house now though.

 

I took out my keys and opened the door. It was with relief that I entered my house, soon shielded from the cold wind blowing outside.

“I’m home!” I called out to my parents in a cheery tone, taking off my boots.

As I heard no answer, I looked up anxiously into the house. The kitchen lights were on, but I hadn’t heard any familiar welcome. I immediately felt something was wrong. An uncomfortable feeling settled unto me.

“Umma? Appa?” I called again, taking a few small steps, walking in direction of the lighted kitchen.

 

And there they were, both sitting at the dining table.

And I knew something was definitely wrong by the way they wore no smiles.

 

“Sang Hee, we need to talk to you.” Umma told me in a stern yet gentle manner.

I started feeling anxious.

It was never good when she used that tone.

I took a few steps into the lighted kitchen, on the cold flooring. I stared at both of them, but mostly at my dad.

Whose face was cold and expressionless.

 

“We received a call from your homeroom teacher just a few minutes ago.” Appa said simply.

My eyes widened. Why would he have called?

I didn’t dare say anything though, unsure of whether it would be a good idea to speak at this moment or to let him continue.

He did so anyways. “It was about the grades you got at the midterm exams.”

 

My senses all alert at that phrase. I stared at him, fear slowly welling up inside my heart. I knew where this was going.

“You promised me, Sang Hee. You promised me that if I let you go into that Instrumental Department, you would continue getting good notes.” he said, strangely calm.

I could only utter a weak response. “I know…”

“You knew you had to do so, yet why did your grades get so bad?” he raised his voice slightly.

I couldn’t say anything, as my breath became shallow with fear. It was rare for my dad to become this way, and whenever he did, it was always hell for the rest of the night.

 

“Your grades were so bad your homeroom teacher had to call us to warn us. Do you know how shameful it is to us?!” he said with anger now.

I tried to keep my breath steady, but it was impossible with my own dad’s eyes piercing through me. I had been through this talk about grades a few times, but I could never really have gotten used to it.

 

“All the other students study hard and get high marks. But you! You waste your time going to practice with this entertainment company instead of studying!” he now yelled, his eyes fuelled by anger.

Every one of his words stung against my heart. All the anger, the disappointment he felt in me hurt. I hated it so much when he compared me to others. I hated it how he made me feel like the worst daughter in the whole world.

 

“We’re better off than some other people when it comes to money, and the only thing you are asked to do is study. But you can’t even do that!” he exclaimed, striking the dining table with a frustrated fist.

I really didn’t want to bring this much shame to him, but at the same time, I didn’t regret following what I loved. Somehow though, it hurt so much to hear my own dad be so ashamed of me.

 

“Do you know how much we are ashamed when we hear that the other parents’ sons and daughters get high grades?!” he yelled as his fist trembled with anger. “We can only smile and laugh as they tell us that, because we would look like idiots if we said our daughter managed to pass only one out of her seven midterm exams!”

Hearing those words made my throat clench itself. I felt a surge of tears form itself. I held it all in the best I could, because I didn’t want to move or do anything that would make the situation even worse.

 

We stayed this way for a while, staring at each other. A tense, suffocating atmosphere loomed over us; I was frozen in place. The only thing I felt now was fear. Fear of my own father, of his anger, shame of his disappointment in me.

After what seemed like ages, he closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead wearily. “You’re not allowed to go practice anymore.”

That he would yell at me was endurable. That he would express his disappointment in such an imposing manner was endurable as well.

But that he would take away the moments that made my life so wonderful was too much.

My fear had slightly subsided to give way to frustration, rebellion. I felt my heartbeat slightly quicker as I looked at him with a new fire in my eyes.

I couldn’t let him take away my dream.

I just couldn’t.

 

 

“No…! I’ll study more if you want. I can even quit my job at the Cupcake store. But you can’t make me not practice anymore…!” I told him in a bolder, louder voice than I would’ve expected.

He probably didn’t expect a reply, as he looked at me with a surprised expression. As soon as he realized I had just talked back though, his anger had risen again and doubled.

“I’m your father! I have the right to make you leave practice! Look at you; I’ve given you too much liberty, now you’re too spoiled!” he yelled with even more intensity.

I stared at him with wide eyes, my courage wavering as his anger opened a gash in my heart. I was scared again, but something inside of me didn’t want to let my dream go.

“I’m not spoiled…! I just want to practice still…!” I replied in a much weaker tone. I felt my confidence slipping away by the second.

The more I rebelled against him, the more he would get angry.

I knew that.

But I wanted to stay at the company so badly. I had passed the auditions, played for SNSD. Jonghyun, my idol, visited me every time. I truly, and maybe stupidly, believed I had a future within the company.

 

He stood up, his face now deformed by anger; the chair protested behind him roughly. “When I say you can’t, you can’t! Do you understand that?!”

I was now trembling out of pure fear. I had never seen him this mad in my whole life. I had never pushed him to this point ever. I didn’t know what was going to happen now.

But, somehow in my mind, if I were to lose something as amazing as my place within the company, I would lose all hope.

And I would lose Jonghyun.

“Just let me stay within the company…!” I implored him weakly yet genuinely.

 

He didn’t answer anything. He walked over to me with quick, heavy steps. His eyes were filled with pure anger, pure irritation at my rebellion. The sound of his steps echoed in the whole house, and when he raised his hand, I realized what he wanted to do.

And I could only close my eyes before the harsh, streaking blow hit the side of my head violently.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mood song: Tomorrow - Tablo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUXiJMhABRQ

 

What happened after passed by in a blur.

I couldn’t remember exactly what happened, except the sound of my own footsteps as I ran out of the door after having put my boots mindlessly on.

I remembered my father’s plead as he called out to me, as he apologized from somewhere far away.

But I hated him.

I hated him for hitting me.

I remembered Umma’s cry for me to come back, as she begged me to come back.

But I hated her.

I hated her for not doing anything.

 

I ran and ran in the darkness of the night that had changed the environment I was so accustomed to during daylight into something menacing, scary.

I ignored the pain my throat and legs were enduring from my relentless run. I knew they would take the car to catch me, to bring me back into the house where I would be hit again.

I had no destination in mind. I had no idea where to run to.

I just ran, my purse hitting my hip with a sickening, repetitive beat as I did.

I knew I had to find a way to escape them though.

But what could my human legs do against the mechanical wheels of a car?

 

But a familiar silhouette appeared in the distance.

The familiar silhouette of a bus that had stopped, whose interior was lit up and showing the few passengers still on board at this hour.

 

I didn’t think twice: I immediately boarded it. I must’ve looked like a mess, but I didn’t care. I paid the required fee blindly and walked a few steps to sit on the nearest seat.

I had no idea what the hell I was doing.

I had no idea where I was heading like this.

 

I just wanted to be comforted.

I just wanted a voice to tell me it would be okay, that I hadn’t done the wrong choice by running away.

 

So, in a familiar fear of being alone, I took my cellphone desperately. I knew I was bothering him again, but somewhere deep inside of me, I wanted him to be there for me, selfishly. I wanted to hear his voice again through my cellphone. I wanted him to save me from my pitch-black sadness.

 

I dialled the number to which the name “Jonghyun” was assigned to.

And I nervously awaited for him to pick the call up.

 

After the first ringing, I was hoping with no restraints.

After three ringings, I ached with anxiety.

After five ringings, I felt incredibly stupid and hopeless.

As the message tone resounded, I was crying by then.

 

I knew he was probably busy, that he had better things to tend to. Of course he wouldn't be at the other end of his cellphone all the time, waiting for me to call.

But somehow, I felt betrayed and incredibly ashamed to have even thought for a second that he would’ve picken it up just like last time.

The few people in the bus must’ve been staring at me crying, and that made me feel even more ashamed of myself. Their stares burned through me, made me suffocate with shame. I didn’t want to stay in the bus anymore, but I didn’t know where to go.

 

But, as the bus started to halt, I noticed that I recognized this neighbourhood. And I immediately knew there was only one last place that could welcome such a pathetic and lost person like me.

I stood up and rushed to the door, wiping away to no avail the endless tears that were streaking down my cheeks.

 

The darkness welcomed me once again. I tried to steady my breath as I held my tears back, although there would sometimes be one that would escape. I walked on this familiar path I had taken so many times, unsure of whether it was a good idea to go to his place.

I was scared of his reaction. I was scared of his possible rejection.

But I had nowhere else to go.

I had run away from home, and there was no place left for me except his house.

 

As soon as I saw his familiar doorsteps, my heartbeat hastened, thumping loudly in my chest. My throat ached from the strain I was putting it through, and my eyes were probably puffy and red.

I wanted him to accept me into his house, but I knew I had no right to hope after everything I had put him through.

 

As I walked up the stairs, my footsteps resounded clearly in my mind. My heart sank with each step I took, and fear suffocated me. I hoped painfully that he would let me in, that he would understand.

But I was afraid that he would’ve changed his opinion of me.

My hand trembled frantically as I rang the doorbell.

I couldn’t go back now.

 

I had managed to hold back my tears, but they were flowing once again as the moment where I would know my fate approached greatly. I brought my hands to my eyes and desperately tried to wipe away the tears, but the more I told myself to stop, the more the flow of the tears heightened.

It was too late by now.

The door opened.

 

I looked up and saw him, a shocked expression on his face. The simple sight of him, of this heroic and precious figure reminded me of how much I really couldn't walk my own path in life without him by my side.

And my tears doubled as I cried out his name helplessly, as I called out to the person I owed all my happiness to.

“Dae Myung…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Hello dearies~!

So this is one chapter I really loved writing! I usually love writing about intense, emotional chapters, and this just so happened to be one, right?! ~

To tell you guys the truth, I took my own experience of parents yelling at me as an example (no, not about running away, 'cause I never did xD). I think a lot of you can relate to this as well when it comes to parents and their high expectations when it comes to grades.

I hope you guys were able to relate to Sang Hee (and me!) and that you enjoyed the chapter! ^^ <3

Thank you for reading and supporting! You guys give me the will and motivation to continue writing. <33

 

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Comments

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SaltandRust #1
You promised us an update... but yet you're still not. :(
LuvNTechnocolor #2
I know people can get busy and have writers block and all but im begging u please give an update as soon as you are able
Kpopmimi
#3
Pllllllssssssss UPDATE !!!!!!
wendextie2 #4
Oh snaps...I'm such a Jjong bias but I'm sooooo loving Dae Myung right now! I say screw the idol and go for the trainee lololol xD But I'm lovin it! Keep up the good work! :3
LuvNTechnocolor #5
OMG PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!!
SaltandRust #6
CLIFFHANGERSSSSSS.....

Omo~ I love Daemyung! I dont know why I'm attached to this fictional character, but I can't help it. >.< Daemyung is an awesome guy... Can I have him? TROLOL... >_<
Update soon, Author. (But, seriously, update now. I want to know what will happen)
Btw, this story is BEAUTIFUL! original plot and lovable characters. I will definitely reccommend this story to my friends.
kidamazone #7
@royalvip: Kekeke yay, someone on Jonghyun's side! <3
It'd be so simpler if Sang Hee could know he had called, right? TTwTT
Thanks for commenting as always! <3
@ChocoPanda: Kekeke I try my best to make my readers feel compassion and confusion according to both potential lovers. :D
Thanks for commenting as always. <3
@MelonCandy: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. I saw your comment, and I was like O____________________________________________O. <3333
Haha, I like how you stood up for DaeDae. <33 ^w^ He WAS jealous, so that explained his actions. :D
Yes, you're right, I have planned a lot of tears and good times for the three of them, kekeke. I hope you'll enjoy what I have in store for all of you. :D
Mmm even though she got hurt and all, I'm glad DaeDae and her will have been kinda "forced" to see each other again. I'm sure some of you are too. XD <3
YES, STEPHY WILL COME CHEER HER UP ONCE SHE COMES BACK. <3 ^w^
And I love to show how confused my characters are when they are in that state. :3
Thank you for being so patient with me!!!!!!!! ^^ <33333 And also for commenting with such a longggggggggggggg comment! ^^ <3
MelonCandy #8
First of all, I don't like the comments saying Daemyung was in the wrong. In case you've all forgotten, Daemyung is like that to everyone except for Sanghee; that's his personality. Excuse him for being jealous and sticking up for the one he loves =__=

Eonni, it's a long comment again. Please prepare yourself.

Oh my gaaah!!! I can't believe it! So Jonghyun finally realising, well, ACCEPTS his feelings thanks to Daemyung but what could possibly happen next? It's not like he can be open about it others (maybe s but I'm not really confident he will) so my guess is that he's just going to ignore Daemyung's 'advice' or he's going to slowly distance himself from Sanghee so he won't hurt her. Which he'll actually be doing if he leaves her :L Either way, there're going to be tears xD And good times too of course! But more tears LOL

I hope Sanghee can make up with her parents in time but (I feel kinda bad for saying this) I'm kinda glad she had that fight with them and that Jjong couldn't pick up his phone in time; it gave DaeHee a chance to make up.. Poor Dae is suffering a lot T-T He really does love her :L But I have a feeling that things aren't going to go his way :L

Wheee!! One thing I am looking forward to is Stephy's return!! She'll definatly lighten the mood and make Sanghee happy :D I just KNOW IT!! >-<


Without knowing it, I just gave a review of the story =__=
OMG the things I do sometimes xD
We will wait PATIENTLY for your updates eonni, PATIENTLYYY~~ :DDDDD


PS: I love the whole internal conflicts they have ;) Daemyung's like 'Should I go? Should I leave? Nah, I should go. Maybe I'll stay' xDDDDD

And I smile everytime Sanghee voiced her feelings :)
ampharoses
#9
Nope, I still prefer Jjong for Sang Hee :3 It was mean of Daemyung to tell him off like that! >:O
Sang Hee, call jjonggie and tell him you love him and ur not just a fan T^T