Mood Song: 黏黏黏黏 - Cyndi Wang

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K26pUDIyQRU&feature=related

Dae Myung's POV

I was sitting against Sang Hee's bed while she was sitting over at her desk. We both looked apprehensively at the letter in our hands, the official seal of the SM Entertainment auditions on it. The verdict that would tell us if our future resided in the career of an idol was right within our hands, cloaked by an envelope.

To think I'd be this anxious for a letter... If it was before I started hanging out with Sang Hee, I'd believe something was wrong with me. But I was fine, feeling this nervousness. It made everything more vivid, gave excitement to my once dull life.

We raised our gaze from our letter and looked at each other in the eyes, as if we knew it was by then that we had to open our letter. She didn't look away like the first time I had tried being her friend; she was fine with my presence now, and we were comfortable around each other.

I saw the hope gleaming in her eyes; I really hoped at that moment that the letter would have great news, so that that glint of hope would remain. But, just to be sure, I tapped the space beside me, telling her to sit right next to me. Just in case I'd have to recomfort her if the letter says otherwise.

She looked at me, a bit surprised, then laughed. She got up and went to sit next to me. I felt a bit more tense as I felt her next to me, but it's probably just because of my anticipation for both of our letters.

She fumbled with her letter nervously, without saying anything. We both knew the nervousness would end if we just opened our letters, but it just wasn't something to be done so simply, so quickly. It was really important to us, but for different reasons.

Mine was to become a trainee, to help my family live a more normal life. How is it fair that my family was the only one to struggle with money when everyone else at my school could afford their simplest needs? I wanted to change our situation for Umma, for the twins. If only I could be accepted... Everything rested on the words marked in the letter. It was a bit weird that I'd ever depend so much on the contents of a letter.

As for Sang Hee, she participated mainly because I had told her to accompany me. Yet, when she saw Jonghyun, it seemed like her resolve had changed: she wanted to become a trainee now, probably just to see him. I still can't believe he remembered her, out of all people. I thought idols had other things to worry about and that she'd just be like any other fan to him. But he said her name, showing her he remembered. It didn't go according to what I had planned; she's desperately clinging to the hope of seeing him again now, and it was really frustrating me.

She didn't say anything about Jonghyun after the auditions, but she seemed to have her mind lost in thoughts often these days. I knew that nothing good would come from hoping and thinking about him, but I didn't want to seem too forceful. Yet I just wanted to tell her to snap out of it, that it would only hurt her in the end.

She looked at me quietly, solemnly. It was about time we opened it: we couldn't stay forever without knowing our fate.

"Who goes first?" she said anxiously.

"Open yours first. If it doesn't work out, you can always rely on me to see... Jonghyun again." I said, putting a slight bitter emphasis on his name.

She inhaled deeply, as if to gain courage. She then looked one last time at me; I smiled at her reassuringly. She smiled back.

She tore the letter slowly, cautiously, as if she could change the words in it if she wasn't too carefully. As she took out what the letter contained, we noticed there were 2 letters. She slightly put the letter between us, so I could read as well.

"Dear participant to the SM Entertainment auditions,

After much debate and choosing over all the contestants, we are sorry to announce that you have not passed. We hope this does not refrain you from participating in the auditions in the next years, and that you may find this as not an obstacle, but an acquired experience. For more information, please cont-"

I stopped reading. She hadn't passed, and that was the main point of it. I didn't dare look at her. Maybe she needed some time to herself, without the weight of someone's gaze on her. I wasn't too sure of what I was expecting exactly, but to actually read a rejection made me feel bad. I felt her shoulders slump down a bit; the hands holding the papers did as well. It was obvious she wasn't taking this well.

I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't really know how. If this was any other girl, I'd hug her and pat her head. But it just didn't seem right with Sang Hee. I hesitantly raised my arm and wrapped it around her slowly, a bit unsure. I felt her stiffen a bit, but she soon softened up. She looked up at me, a surprised expression on her face. She then smiled kindly. I couldn't help but smile back. I couldn't say why, but I felt nervous and... happy.

We stayed there for a while, silent. I hoped she knew that I didn't want her to feel bad, that it was fine. But I wasn't sure if my act talked for me. Usually, I'd rely on words to express how I feel, but it didn't seem right to speak at that moment.

She kept her eyes on the paper, rereading the same words over and over. I suddenly noticed the second paper. Why would there be a second paper if she got rejected?

"Hey, Sang Hee." I said quietly.

"Hm?"

"Shouldn't you read the second paper too?"

At those words, she noticed it too. She laughed slightly, embarassed. "You're right. I wonder what could be written on it..."

She took the first paper away and set it beside her. We read it together, a bit uncertain of what to expect.

"Dear Sang Hee,

We are well aware of your piano skills, judging from your audition at this year's SM Entertainment auditions, and would like to have you join our Instrumental Department. The pay is yet to be determined as well as your role, so we ask you to call at the reception to schedule an appointment with the Department's manager. That person will give you all the details you will need. We do not hold practices as often as we do for the artists, therefore please refer to the schedule that will be given to you if you accept.

We hope you will consider joining us.

- SM Entertainment Instrumental Department"

I couldn't contain my surprise; I gaped at the words in astonishment. As I was about to congratulate her, she yelled with joy and got up on her knees, keeping her eyes locked on the paper.

"OMO OMO OMO OMO OMO!!!! Dae Myung, did you read?! I'm... I'm in the SM Instrumental Department...! I can't believe it, am I dreaming? Aigoo, this is too good to be true...! To think I'd be chosen for this...! Dae Myung, I'm dying! Dying of happiness! Oh wait, I can't die yet! Aish, what am I saying?!"

She waved the paper around frantically, her face flushed to a slight red. It was the first time I ever had seen her this happy and energetic. It was surprising, but not unpleasant to know she could react just like anyone to good news. I couldn't help but laugh as she hid with the paper, out of embarassment.

And here I thought things were looking pretty grim a few seconds ago... Looks like miracles really do happen.

"Congratulations, Sang Hee~." I told her, smiling sincerely.

She lowered the paper and smiled back. "Thank you~!"

She sat down again next to me, an everlasting smile on her lips. I wished for that smile to never fade away at that moment; it made me feel giddy to see her so happy, although I could never admit it to her. She set down the paper beside her, took her cellphone, and started typing something. A text probably. I'd seen her text often in class and at home, but I never asked her to who it was, out of respect and all. But since we were so close now, I didn't find anything wrong with asking her, right?

"Who're you texting?" I asked, looking at her cellphone as some letters appeared one by one on the screen.

"My best friend~!" she said happily.

Huh? Best friend? Why didn't I ever see her with someone then?

I could see the recipient was someone by the name of Stephanie. It was a foreign name, and I knew no one with that name at our school.

How could Sang Hee know a foreigner? Did she used to live outside of Korea before? I never saw her hang out with anyone else, so maybe this Stephanie person was still living outside of Korea?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I still didn't know much about her. I had been so wrapped up with her obsession with SHINee that I didn't bother knowing about other things. She really seemed happy as she wrote to this Stephanie, so maybe she wasn't so bad. I wondered how long they have known each other. Years, perhaps? I couldn't help but feel jealous, as I saw her smile so easily.

"I haven't seen you with a girl named Stephanie before." I said, curious.

Her smile faded a bit to a sad one as she sent her text. "We don't really hang out."

Huh?

"What do you mean?" I asked, a bit surprised.

"We only talk by text..."

"Wait, so you never met her?"

"No, no! We did meet, so I know she's not some creep texting me."

"Where'd you meet her?"

"At a SHINee fan meeting."

SHINee again. Why did it seem like everything involving her somehow linked to SHINee? Her daily visits on the official fanclub site, that longing attitude towards Jonghyun, her will to become a trainee just to see him, now this best friend she met at one of SHINee's fan meetings. If I didn't know Sang Hee any better, I would've thought she was a stalker or something.

"Why don't you guys see each other if you already met her?" I asked, finding it odd.

She was fumbling with her cellphone; whenever she was fumbling with something, I knew her well enough to tell that she was nervous. I didn't want her to be nervous, but I just wanted to know. As I was about to tell her to forget about it since I felt bad, she looked down, a shade of pink on her cheeks.

"I'm too shy to ask for us to meet again." she said quietly.

I looked at her, a bit surprised, then laughed. That was just Sang Hee, to be too shy to ask for the two of them to hang out again. It was cute, in a way. But anyone would have thought that too. I wonder if she ever wanted to hang out with Stephanie though.

"She never mentioned it either?" I asked, smiling despite me.

"No, but I think she doesn't want to trouble me with it." she replied, a bit embarassed.

"Don't you want to hang out with her sometimes?"

"Sometimes... But I also feel comfortable just talking to her by texts, so why change anything?"

"You two should meet someday. You two are best friends, right? I'm sure she knows how shy you are, so she'll know how to act."

"I guess we should sometime..."

"You'll be fine. Plus, you're comfortable around me, right? I'm sure it'll be the same with her."

She looked at me, a bit surprised, then nodded quietly, smiling. She got up, set down the cellphone on her desk and sat next to me again. I wasn't nervous anymore. Maybe it was one of those random self-conscious moments before.

I looked at her and, feeling my gaze on her, she looked back. I couldn't say it out loud, but I wanted everyday to stay this way. We would hang out and talk freely, just like today, without worries. To think that not even 2 months ago, I wouldn't be hanging out with someone so much, even less with Sang Hee, out of all people. I didn't regret it though: she was an extremely kind person, and I liked being with her.

She then had a surprised look on her face and pointed something. I followed her gaze and noticed I still had my letter in my hands.

Huh... To think I'd forget about my own letter... Sang Hee's really something, huh.

"You should open it!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah, I completely forgot." I said, laughing.

I opened it calmly. I didn't feel as much anticipation as I did before. Sang Hee was accepted into the orchestra, so there wasn't much purpose to me being accepted anymore. Of course, being a trainee would let me become an idol to help my family, but I could always choose other paths if this one didn't work out.

I took the paper out and held it between us so that she could read as well.

"Dear participant to the SM Entertainment auditions,

After much debate and choosing over all the contestants, we are glad to announce that you have passed. There will be a meeting for all new trainees on Friday, August 5th at the SM Entertainment building on the 6th floor. All the information required will be told during this meeting, so we strongly advise you to attend.

Congratulations on passing and we hope to see you there.

- The SM Entertainment Training Department"

I couldn't help but smile as I finished reading. So I had passed. I tried not to show it, but I was happy. Really happy. I guess I really did have a chance at becoming an idol. Who knows, I might become one of the next highly renowned idols too. I knew I shouldn't be lifting my hopes up so much this early, but it was really hard not to.

I felt Sang Hee's hands tugging on my arm. I looked at her: she had joy in her eyes as well as a large smile on her lips.

"Congratulations, Dae Myung!" she exclaimed happily. "You really sing and dance well, so I'm not that surprised that you were chosen!"

"Thank you." I told her, smiling. "We'll get to go there after school then, right? We should go together."

Her eyes widened then gleamed even more. "Yeah! I can't wait now!"

"Without mentioning that you have more chances of seeing SHINee as a member of the Instrumental Department." I added, curious to see her reaction.

Her cheeks changed to a slight pink, and she covered them with her two hands. She seemed pretty cute as she did that, but just a bit.

"Oh that's true! What am I going to do? Oh I hope I'll get to be friends with them. Then again, I might make a fool out of myself in front of them..." she said, embarassed.

To think she gets so nervous around them... I'm almost jealous. Almost.

"Nah, you won't," I reassured. "Just be yourself if you'll see them."

She inhaled deeply and regained her calm. "You're right. They need to see the real me, the one who's not nervous around people."

I couldn't help but think of a sentence I knew I shouldn't blurt out.

Do you know their real personalities though?

Sang Hee's POV

It was night, and Dae Myung had just left to go home. We had told each other that I was to schedule an appointment Friday, August 5th, so that we would go together.

The only thing left to do was to tell Appa. He was the kind of parent who valued education above all else, including dreams. When I told him I was going to participate in the auditions, he didn't pay much attention to it, probably because he had expected me to fail. Which I did. But the good news was that I had been taken in instead as a member of the Instrumental Department.

And so, here I stood nervously in front of Appa, as he read the letter, sitting in the kitchen. I didn't know what to expect exactly. Was he going to be angry? Was he going to let me participate? I fidgeted nervously as he raised his eyes from the letter.

"Do you plan to be a part of this Department?" he asked sternly.

"Yes, I want to." I answered as calmly as I could.

"What will become of your studies if you start focusing on other things?"

"I'll continue studying, Appa. Just like always. I'll just go over there after school, that's all."

"How will I know for sure?"

I suppressed a sigh. "Trust me, Appa."

He looked at me for a long while. I was feeling a bit frustrated, that he wouldn't even be happy for me, that all he thought about were my studies. I had dreams that I wanted to realize. I didn't want to spend all my life studying and miss out on oppurtunities like this. Why couldn't he understand?

After what seemed like an eternity, he dropped the letter on the table, got up, then headed for his room.

"Don't forget to study." he said flatly.

I smiled at those words and jumped ecstatically, trying not to make any noise as I did. I couldn't see any other obstacles on this path leading to my dream now. Everything was really going to happen. I would be practicing in the same building as SHINee, practicing piano, an instrument I loved above many things.

As I lay in bed, I got scared that by tomorrow morning, everything would disappear and that this was all a figment of my imagination. I held the letter in my hands, so I could remind myself with happiness that this was really happening. My reality was about to change for the better. Never had I ever thought this would be happening to me even 3 weeks ago. I thanked whatever made these blissful changes and excitedly imagined how it would be like once I'll be in the Instrumental Department.

I felt my eyes slowly close themselves. I didn't fight the weariness; I must've been really tired. My heart swayed peacefully as bliss resided in it. I abandoned myself into a soft slumber, holding the letter close to me.

Hopefully, I'll get to see Jonghyun again...

I'm going to faint.

The elevator's doors had closed, and we were now moving up. I looked beside me. Dae Myung seemed his usual confident self; I envied him for it. Wasn't he nervous at the thought of having to meet other people? Of course not, what was I saying? He was and still is popular Dae Myung. While I was just shy Sang Hee...

The elevator stopped slowly. We were on the 6th floor. Dae Myung was about to get off. I looked at him half-pleading, half-encouragingly. He must've noticed my disarray, as he patted my head and smiled kindly. I smiled back with gratitude.

I watched his back as the doors closed, separating him from me. I couldn't help but feel a bit lonely without him. After all the time we spent together, he really had grown on me.

Thank you Dae Myung and good luck~.

The elevator doors opened, and the 9th floor appeared before my eyes. I walked out, trying to contain my anxiety. It seemed exactly like all the other floors. I searched for the Instrumental Department manager's office, pacing uncertainly between the many rooms. The secretary had said it should be the 5th one on the right...

The room I came upon had a plate with the following inscriptions:

Kim Bae
Manager of the Instrumental Department

This must be it... I hope I'm not intruding...

I knocked on the door shyly. A clear, genuine voice told me to enter. I held the doorknob and opened the door; it slowly revealed a clean, well-lit office with a large window overviewing Seoul. The man sitting at the desk must've been not older than 50 years old. He seemed stern and serious, but as soon as he smiled at my sight, he changed into a kind and warm person.

"Oh, you're the new recruit, right? Sang Hee, correct?" he said, motioning me to sit on one of the comfortable-looking chairs.

"Yes, that's correct." I said, sitting shyly.

"I've heard a lot from the judges. They said you played the piano pretty well, and that you would be a fine addition to the Instrumental Department."

I couldn't help but smile at those words. I was flattered by what they had said and felt proud.

I knew I had to make a good impression, so I forced myself to self-praise. "I can read partitions quickly, so I can learn new pieces in a short amount of time. Since I'm a new member, I can join in in any project currently under way."

It felt weird to praise myself that way. I knew I had to be confident in life, but when I was actually trying to pretend I was, I felt even more self-conscious. I didn't know how the confident people did it. I felt uncomfortable being this way.

His smile widened at those words. "That's great! The pianist who was going to play for one of the idol groups just broke his arm, so we are in urgent need of a pianist for that performance. I think you will be a good choice."

As he uttered that possibility, I couldn't help but feel surprised and unconfident. How could I play in front of a camera, in front of million of viewers? I didn't want him to regret it, so I knew I had to warn him.

"I'm honored you'd consider making me perform, but you haven't heard me yet. Are you sure of this?" I said, uncertain.

"If you aren't confident about this, you can show me what you can do. I'll judge if you're ready or not." he replied, a kind look emanating from his eyes.

"Okay, thank you. I didn't want you to regret it after." I said shyly.

"It's understandable. I'll show you your practice room at the same time." he said, getting up and walking towards the door.

I followed him in the hallway as confidently as I could, although I somehow knew he had already seen through my fail attempt at being confident. If this was one of those really strict managers, he would've gotten annoyed at my request. But this manager seemed really kind and didn't make me feel pressured. I had a lot of respect for him already.

The hallways in the building were very long and large, with the walls usually pure white. It felt a bit intimidating and confusing in here, but I would have to get used to it. There were a few people walking about on their own business, passing us sometimes with a cellphone against their ear, and at other times with folders in their hands.

As we turned the corner, two people suddenly appeared. I couldn't stop myself in time and bumped into one of them.

"Oh, sorry!" I said, a bit panicked.

"It's okay." that person replied.

I could recognize this voice anywhere. I looked up slightly and couldn't help but gawk at him.

Jonghyun's POV

The judge was right. I really was going to see her again. Who would've thought it would be at the corner of a hallway? She was following the Instrumental Department manager. It didn't take long for me to figure it out: she was joining the Instrumental Department instead, because of her piano skills.

"Oh Jonghyun, Taemin! How have you been?" the manager asked.

"Pretty good, thank you." Taemin said kindly.

"Good. I see Sang Hee has joined the Instrumental Department." I said, still smiling. I noticed her cheeks had turned to a soft pink.

"Yes, we're just about to see the extent of her talent now." the manager replied.

"Oh, I wouldn't want to bother you then." I said humbly.

"It's alright. Good luck with practice."

"Thank you."

I gazed at her and couldn't stop smiling. I was proud of her, in a way; I knew she deserved to be here. Her piano skills were amazing and shouldn't be wasted. It was rare to find someone with nimble fingers like hers.

"Congratulations, Sang Hee." I said kindly.

Her eyes lit up as she smiled radiantly. "Thank you!"

As we started walking our different ways, it felt weird to leave just like that. I couldn't help but turn back and utter these words that burned my throat. I couldn't explain why I felt so compelled to talk to her.

"I'll see you later."

At those words, she turned around, a surprised expression on her face. Then a sweet smile took ahold of her lips as she was pleased and embarassed by what I said.

"Who was that girl?" Taemin asked curiously as we continued walking.

"Someone I've seen a few times." I answered simply.

"Huh? I never saw you with her before."

"You did. You just don't remember."

"I did? I don't think so."

I knew he didn't remember, since the guerilla date was a few months ago. I would've forgotten her too, if she was any random fan I would've met. But she wasn't. We had been through something special together, and it just wasn't something you could forget so easily. I hadn't met someone in a long time with whom I could feel comfortable with: she had something different about her that I couldn't explain.

Now that I knew she was in the Instrumental Department, I couldn't help but wonder if we could see each other enough to be friends. She was someone I felt would be dependable and fun to be with. Something inside me told me I couldn't afford to pass up on an oppurtunity like this again. I had hurt her too, when I told her we couldn't stay in contact, so I wanted to make up for it.

On a sidenote, if she was going to play the piano during a few performances, would she be able to? Wouldn't she be nervous? Would she be able to handle the pressure? She seemed pretty shy and fragile.

I honestly wanted to help her; she needed support. I was going to have to help her, because I was the one who knew her the best in here. I'd never be able to forgive myself if she failed and got humiliated while I just stayed behind and never did anything.

I couldn't help but laugh at myself. To think I'd be so worried for her... I'm too much of a caring person, aren't I?

Well, looks like Sang Hee just got herself a new friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hurray, new updateeee! <3

I got so caught up in Dae Myung's POV that half of this chapter was him! xD Well, I particularly like writing his point of view, so I hope you guys won't mind!

I wanted to update before leaving for the US, so it'll be the last one for a while~. So I wanted to make sure you all had alot to read~. I hope you guys won't miss me or my fanfic too much! Because I know I will miss writing it... ~

Jonghyun is really handsome in this chapter's picture... -faints- God do I love you Jonghyun! <3

The song I used for this chapter is one of my favs of cpop~. Cyndi Wang's so gorgeous in the MV, I'm jealous~.

On a sidenote, I've started writing a one-shot of Jaejoong from JYJ. I'm not even a fan, but I think I'm starting to be because of it. xD

Thank you guys so much for all your support! All of your comments make me so happy you don't know how much! >w<