Sang Hee’s POV

The piano expressed the familiar notes of Mistake, which I had practiced so much last Tuesday, in my practice room. The familiar sunset greeted me with an orange hue, which colored the white walls.

As I finished playing, I realized it was almost time for Jonghyun to come and visit me. The anxiety concentrated all my thoughts on him, preventing me from regaining my calm. I wasn’t sure if he’d visit me again, if he’d remember. Did he care about me enough to remember I was here?

I stood up and paced around my local, constantly looking at the wall clock.

5:47pm.

Thirteen minutes before he might come.

Will he come? Or did he have something else to do?

I sat back on the bench, exasperated at my incapability to know if he would visit me or not. Soon enough, desperation assaulted me.

Of course. Jonghyun won’t come. He’s probably very busy and most likely has better things to do than to visit me, a mere instrument player.

And yet… He seemed to really enjoy spending time with me last time…

I bent down and buried myself in my knees, clutching my legs, as if I could escape all these depressing thoughts.

I didn’t know how long I stayed that way, until I heard the door opening. My heart immediately started throbbing like crazy; I gazed up to see who had entered.

Jonghyun?

Disappointment.

It was only Kim Bae, the Instrumental Department manager.

Aigoo, he’s still the manager though! What will he think?! I’m just hiding my face in a depressed way instead of practicing! Will he think I’m lazy?!

I immediately stood up and bowed down frantically.

“A-Annyeonghaseyo!” I said, embarrassed.

“Annyeonghaseyo. Were you taking a break?” he said with a laugh.

I began to relax a bit at his reaction. “Yeah, I was just… thinking a bit.”

“Well, the charity event is this Saturday. I reckon you remember, yes?”

Oh crap. That’s right.

“Of course I remember!” I said, anxiety crawling in the back of my mind.

“You’ve learned the piece by heart also?”

“Yes, perfectly.”

“That’s good. You’re not going to play alone during the event though. So I’ve come to ask you to practice a bit with the other instruments before the event.” he said with a smile.

“Oh I see. Right now?”

“Of course. Since you’re not coming any other day before the charity event, we need to see if you’re able to play with the others. If not, we’ll have to ask you to come practice all day tomorrow.”

“Alright.”

“It’s in room 976, not too far from here. We’re all expecting you, so don’t take your time.”

At those words, he left, leaving the door open.

Does that mean I won’t get to see Jonghyun…?

I reluctantly got up and placed my bench under the piano. As I headed towards the door, thoughts of Jonghyun coming to see me in vain saddened me. I didn’t want to waste his time, out of all people.

I was scared that when he would see that I wasn’t there, he’d never bother coming again. And I didn’t want to let that happen. I finally had opportunities to spend time with him, with Jonghyun, the idol I could only dream about before.

Sang Hee, don’t let more obstacles get in the way. You can’t let him fade away like last time.

But then I remembered.

I had tried last time, but he rejected it. What proved that this time would be different?

A surge of pain and sadness flowed and stabbed my heart. The very same emotions I had felt back then, when he rejected me, resurfaced. No matter how many times I tried to forget about it, telling myself things had changed, the pain of the memories was still a deep wound.

But what was there to lose?

We weren't even friends. Only acquaintances. I had to try my best, no matter what.

Because it’s Jonghyun.

Because he’s the one I fell in love with.

Renewed determination surfaced, erasing all my fears and pain.

Yes, he’s worth every effort I can put in.

I thought for a moment of how I could tell him. An idea then struck me. I immediately smiled as it seemed like a good one.

I opened my bag and took out cute, pink post-it papers. I then took out a sky blue gel pen and gazed at it. I thought for a few moments of what to write but I soon realized there was no use thinking it over so much.

Oh it’s pointless being anxious over what to write. I’m supposed to be my real self, right?

I decided to be spontaneous and started writing like I would to Stephy.

“Jonghyun, I’m practicing with the other instrument players, so I won’t be here today. T~T We can talk next Tuesday though! ^^

-      Sang Hee “

I tore off the paper, put the post-it papers and my pen back into my bag and stood up, feeling relief slowly fill me.

I walked out, closed the door and stuck the post-it on it eagerly. I quickly made my way to room 976 before I’d start changing my mind.

With this, he’ll probably understand. Hopefully, we’ll still talk next Tuesday.

Hopefully.

Jonghyun’s POV

I stood in front of her practice room again, after having read the flashy pink post-it note on the door, both hands in my pockets.

I missed her again? I really had no luck, for a bodyguard.

Guess I should just go back to the practice room, since I had finished eating quickly to see her.

I smiled reluctantly and made my way back slowly towards the elevator. Some people who weren’t currently in the cafeteria and were still roaming the hallways greeted me politely; I returned the greetings with a smile.

I looked around inside the locals with simple curiosity. I was surprised to see some people still having meetings, even during supper time. Other locals were empty for obvious reasons.

As I nonchalantly walked by one of the bigger locals dedicated to group practices, I saw some people practicing together, using different instruments, such as the cello and the violin.

But something caught my eye and made me stop in my tracks. Someone, actually.

There was Sang Hee, practicing at a grand piano, surrounded by many other instrument players. But, as I looked from outside the soundproof room without hearing the music they played, she seemed the most dazzling and emotional.

A smile soon took ahold of my lips. I knew there was no point in me staring eternally though, so I detached my eyes from the practice and made my way towards the elevator, smiling.

Looks like she’s doing well here, after all.

It was 9 ‘o clock and our manager decided to let us a short break of fifteen minutes. To “regain our interpreting abilities” or something like that. As if fifteen minutes was really going to make us feel inspired so easily.

The moon had settled up in the sky and gave a dim light on everything. The atmosphere seemed more calm and gentle at night. After spending all day inside, a bit of fresh air didn’t seem like such a bad idea.

As soon as I stepped outside, a fresh, cool breeze greeted me. I inhaled deeply and smiled; there was just something enthralling in being outside, caressed by the wind. The light given by the enormous SM Entertainment building seemed too blinding though and bothered me. I just needed a moment for myself, without feeling constantly in the spotlight.

So I made my way further along the side of the building, where the bothersome lights couldn’t reach me.

As I found a decent spot not too close yet not too far away, I saw that someone was already sitting there; I couldn’t make out who it was though. Seeing as how this was a well-deserved break, I decided to sit against the wall quietly anyways, despite the person’s presence, trying not to bother them.

I watched the cars and their lights pass by without a care. A moment of peace like this was exactly what I needed. Of course, I knew that being an idol would guarantee only a few moments like this. And yet, who would’ve thought that I, Kim Jonghyun, would miss being alone so much?

Mood Song: Beautiful Enough – Hanazakari no Kimitachi e OST

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U09W6d8kMgQ

A whisper stirred me out of my thoughts.

“Jonghyun…?”

It was a voice I could recognize anywhere. A sweet, gentle voice that could only belong to someone in particular.

I looked at the person who was sitting a bit further away from me. As my eyes had gotten used to the dark, I recognized her.

Sang Hee.

Holding her knees while sitting against the wall, eyeing me with that same distinctive gleam in her eyes.

I felt stupidly oblivious to not have recognized her before.

“Oh I didn’t see it was you here.” I said, a bit embarrassed.

“It’s okay. There’s no lights here, so it’s understandable.” she replied with a sweet smile. “In fact, it’s really why I chose to sit here. Just to be a bit alone.”

I smiled back at her. “Really? That’s also why I came here.”

Silence slid in between us. We ran out of words to say; she diverted her gaze back to the cars, probably a bit embarrassed. I did so too, but it wasn’t out of shyness; it was more out of respect. I didn’t feel alone anymore now, but it wasn’t bothersome; I liked her presence.

After a few moments, her voice gently broke the silence once more.

“Hey, Jonghyun…”

I absentmindedly gazed at the car lights. “Yes?”

“How did you feel during your first performance?”

Her question surprised me a bit. What did I feel during my first performance in front of a crowd? It was so long ago; after having performed so much, recalling that I was nervous and anxious the first time was a bit surprising.

“Anxious and nervous,” I answered calmly. I then smiled as I remembered. “And yet… Hopeful and happy.”

“I guess it’s normal for me to feel this way too, right?” she said shyly.

“Oh that’s right, you’re going to play piano for So Nyeo Shi Dae. When are you playing?”

“Saturday…” she said in a whimper.

I turned to look at her and saw that she was holding her knees with a sad expression, just like a cute puppy. I couldn’t help but find it endearing, seeing her being so nervous. I knew this was my cue to cheer her up.

“With talent like yours, I wouldn’t be worried at all,” I said kindly. “If it’s you, I know everything will be fine.”

At those words, she looked at me with wide eyes. Soon after though, an embarrassed smile appeared on her delicate face.

“You think so?”

I immediately smiled. “Of course.”

Another comfortable silence slid in between us. For some reason, words weren’t always needed when I was with her, which was the complete opposite of what I was used to in the idol world.

Knowing she was about to play in front of a crowd made me want to support her and give her courage. I felt disappointed though; I knew I had things to do on Saturday, so I couldn’t be there for her personally.

Was there a way for me to talk to her other than being there?

An idea struck me.

What am I saying? This is the 21^st century. Of course there was.

I took out my cellphone and opened my contacts.

I’ll probably just text her to support her.

But, remembering I had rejected her before, I hesitated.

Even after I had told her no last time, there wasn’t any problem with her knowing my number now. We were under the same company after all, yet why did I still feel so nervous about asking her?

“Hey, I want to support you Saturday, but I can’t be there personally unfortunately,” I said, trying to sound as confident as I could. “So… Can you give me your phone number?”

She held her head up and looked at me in utter disbelief. I held my breath as I awaited her answer, uncertain of what to expect.

Then her reaction baffled me.

She covered with both of her hands; her eyes gleamed with pure happiness, as if she had always hoped for this to happen.

“Of course! I just… never thought you’d want to, after… last time.” She said the two last words in a painful whisper.

I felt horrible, seeing her so happy after I had asked; it just showed how much I had hurt her last time. I really had alot to make up for, didn't I?

“About that… I’m sorry. It wasn’t out of hate or anything that I did that last time.” I said in a sad manner.

She shook her head comprehensively then lowered her hands to reveal a blissful, pure smile. She then got up and hesitantly went to sit next to me; I could now discern the soft pink on her cheeks.

She whispered her phone number in a soft voice; I inputted the number into my contacts under the name “Mrs. Clumsy”, smiling slightly.

As she saw what I had written, she pouted a bit. “You really didn’t need to put that…”

I laughed a bit then gazed into her eyes, which made her stop pouting and blush.

“It just shows that I still remember our very first meeting… right?” I said, smiling as I whispered the last word.

She smiled back gently, happily then diverted her gaze back towards the streets filled with cars.

“I’m really glad I’m with you now…” she said dreamily. She then blushed again as if she just realized what she said was embarrassing. “A-As friends, you know. We’re… friends, right?”

I nudged her slightly on the side with my elbow, laughing slightly. “Hey hey, it’s alright. We really are friends, so don’t get so nervous.”

She gave me a grateful smile. I felt at peace, sitting by her; everything seemed fine, as long as I stayed by her side. All my worries seemed to fade away when I’m with her. Perhaps because I was more worried about her than I was for myself.

She looked up, towards the endless sky; I did so, as well. Only a few stars showed themselves, but it was enough to make me feel hazy and dreamy. It was a shame that people who lived in the city could never see the starry sky at its fullest.

Staring at this immense sea of black and glimmers, I felt so powerless and inferior; the complete opposite of how I felt as an idol, constantly scrutinized and praised. I felt my throat tighten as I could only feel pure amazement and awe.

Under this immensity of an ocean, I realized there were more things to life than pleasing fangirls, photoshoots and appearances. It was all about protecting what you’d never want to lose, what you wanted by your side forever. And with her by my side at that moment, the following words slipped from my lips.

“I’ll stay by your side and protect you.” I whispered.

She didn’t move at all but, for some reason, I knew she was now smiling.

After what seemed like an eternity, my cellphone suddenly rang, giving both of us a start. I took the call and brought it to my ear.

“Aigoo, Jonghyun. We’re all waiting for you now. You’re 11 minutes late!”

I had completely forgotten I was on a break. There really was only Sang Hee who could make time pass by so quickly.

“Okay, okay. I’m coming.” I said before ending the call.

She looked at me inquiringly. I felt a bit sad about having to leave her; I might just be getting addicted to her presence.

“I have to go back.” I said sadly, standing up.

“Oh! I’m sorry for keeping you here.” she replied, slightly embarrassed.

I smiled at her. “That’s okay. Will you be alright?”

She nodded, smiling back gently.

“Okay, be safe on your way home. It’s pretty dark by now.” I said, feeling a bit worried at the thought of her walking alone at night.

“I’ll be fine. You should worry about yourself instead.” she replied, laughing.

I smirked. “I really should, huh? I’m off then~.”

“Okay, see ya!”

“I’ll text you later.”

I gave her one last smile; she returned it kindly.

How could I really leave her when she was smiling at me that way?

It took all my will to make myself turn around and make the first step back towards the entrance.

I walked quickly, trying not to regret leaving her.

But, as soon as the blinding lights hit me like spotlights, I couldn’t help but know I missed her already.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hehehe. How did you guys find my double update? <3

Has Jonghyun raised in esteem with all of you? I know he wasn’t as popular with some of you, since I give him less chances to be with Sang Hee than Dae Myunggie did, but I hope I helped him here! Sorry Jjongie~. I hope I am forgiven!

I also found the part where Sang Hee was being anxious while waiting for him really cute to write! Although it was a bit of a challenge to decide how she would feel at times. ~

Thank you again for supporting so much! I still can’t believe I have 50 subscribers~. Although I’m really grateful, don’t mind me! xD Your comments always bring a wide smile on my face hehehe! <3