Sang Hee’s POV

“I don’t want to know what the others think. The only opinion that matters to me is yours.”

The memory of Dae Myung whispering those words to me with an intense, serious stare lingered in my mind.

I distractedly stared out of the window, not noticing the scenery of a modest orange hue coloring the grand buildings. I felt confused, saddened as I sighed exasperatedly. I had closed the lights off, preferring the soft glow from the sun. The door was left slightly open, so Jonghyun’d see I was inside despite the darkness.

But my mind was filled with too many questions to which no answer seemed certain to even be anxious about Jonghyun coming to visit.

Dae Myung had never acted this way before. He seemed so different from his usual relaxed and cool side. Why did my opinion matter that much to him? Shouldn’t he care about what the judges think?

Was he angry at me?

No, I don’t think so.

It seemed like he was trying to tell me something else by asking me that question. I can’t see why he would ask me that so suddenly though.

Ever since we had gone to the amusement park, he seemed more hesitant around me, as if there was something he was trying to keep secret. I didn’t remember anything that had went wrong that day though…

I wasn’t too sure if I was supposed to pretend everything was fine or if I had to confront him about it. Was it all right to ignore the problem, to ignore this mystery that was bothering him?

I set my face down, grunting out of frustration at this awkward and strange situation. I contorted, stretched it out in my mind, trying to find any possible light of a solution, but nothing appeared.

Why did this have to happen…?

Jonghyun’s POV

So…

Her usual practice room’s lights were all closed. Her door was slightly ajar, letting a small stream of light in.

Maybe she left already?

I couldn’t help but feel disappointed by this.

Was I disappointed in the same way someone missed their friend?

I had a feeling it was a bit more than that though.

I had missed some friends before but not to the point where I would feel sudden, immediate loneliness.

I knew we hadn’t spent so much time together, but I found it easy to relate to her, to act like myself with her. She was one of the few people I felt like it was okay to be my calm, caring side without fearing of being a bore.

I still didn't know how she managed to pass by the walls that came with my idol status so easily though.

You’re really an odd one, Sang Hee…

Mood Song: Love in the Ice - DBSK

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbzFnzFU52Y

Since I had nothing better to do, I decided to take a look inside out of pure curiosity. Maybe I would find out why she left so early too.

I slightly pushed the door more open, immediately noticing the piano and its pure, white keys; no sound emanated from the usually rusty creaks of the corners of the door. The light from the corridor streamed in more, widening as the door opened. The window let the sunset’s rays pass through, giving off a slightly lazy and calm atmosphere to the dark room.

That’s when I noticed the form of someone lying down on the desk, face down. Relief and happiness immediately surged inside of me as I realized it was the girl I thought I had missed.

I approached her silently, my footsteps making no sound as I could now distinguish her fragile, small figure.

What was she doing, lying her face down on her desk like that?

I eyed her with curiosity and amusement, the tingle of relief dancing inside of me. I was feeling giddy and hyper despite me, glad that she hadn’t left after all.

This practice room had become so much more to me in such a short time: it was a sanctuary, separated from the dimension of idols. I could be myself when she was here with me. She didn’t have any expectations of me; I didn’t need to be flirty, sociable, hyper around her.

She accepted me, every side of my personality as a human being with feelings and imperfections.

And, just for that, she was amazing.

I wondered if I should surprise her or if I should gently wake her up. Surprising her was what a friend would do, but gently waking her up seemed more proper.

Oh who am I kidding. Let’s just do both!

I slowly lowered myself with an amused smile, until my face was right beside hers. I could hear her soft, calm breathing; the sunset's rays lightly kissed her hair, adding a particularly soothing glow to her.

Just for a moment there, I felt something stir inside my heart; it was faint, but nonetheless there.

I held my breath for a moment, trying to grasp what I had just felt. I couldn’t make sense of it though as it faded away immediately.

After a while, as I felt there were no more remains of what I had just experienced, I continued with what I was trying to achieve, somewhat a bit startled now though.

“Having a nice nap, are we?” I whispered softly into her ear, an amused smile soon accompanying those words despite me.

As she heard those words, she quickly sat up, backing away, utter surprise in her alert eyes. As I saw her reaction, I couldn’t help but laugh, like a kid whose prank just worked.

As she realized it was me, her cheeks immediately reddened; she eyed me with an embarrassed smile, raising a hand to her lips just like a shy little girl. Seeing her that way immediately made me soften up as I started to feel slightly bad for doing that.

“Sorry, I just thought it would’ve been funny to see your reaction.” I said, a slightly amused smile still on my lips.

The corners of her lips swerved upwards to a soothing smile. “It’s okay. I didn’t expect you to enter without making any noise though.”

I sat down on the piano bench slowly. As I remembered she seemed slightly troubled when I entered, I eyed her with curiosity. “By the way, what were you doing?”

The embarrassment on her expression slowly led way to a troubled, sad one. She tried to smile courageously nonetheless. “It’s just something happened this past week I think. But it’s nothing you should worry about.”

Seeing her with this sad expression made my heart drop. I already missed her usual, cheery and embarrassed self; this made me want to help her as much as I could.

“You can tell me.” I told her with a reassuring smile.

Her eyes widened, surprise gleaming in them, before she shook her head sadly. “No, you have better things to worry about…”

“Hey, we’re friends, aren’t we?” I said, tilting my head slightly with a smile.

She opened slightly, as if to say something in protest. But a somewhat glad smile soon showed up on her lips. “Yeah, we are.”

“Then… it’s alright to trust me.” I said softly.

Somehow, those words held so much meaning to them. I could feel every fiber of my soul believing it. I wanted to be there for her always as time passed, to always see an eternal smile on her lips.

She slowly nodded with gratitude, as she seemed to realize we were closer than she thought we were. I never had any doubt on our compatibility as friends though.

She seemed to hesitate on the words to start as she tapped her lips with her fingers slightly. I waited patiently, letting her find the words to utter.

Soon enough, a hesitant expression soon appeared.

“Well… It’s just my best friend has been acting oddly these days.” she said in a slightly sad and disappointed manner.

I tilted my head slightly. “Oddly? How come?”

“I just feel like… we’re not the same as we were before. He seems troubled at times.”

“He? Your best friend is a guy?” I found it surprising to know that her best friend would be a guy. Knowing her, I would’ve expected her to have a gentle and calm girl instead as a best friend.

She looked at me, slightly confused. “Yeah. You’ve already met him too.”

Now who did I meet that could be her best friend?

…

Oh, him.

Dae Myung.

“Dae Myung’s your best friend?” I said, slightly surprised.

She seemed slightly panicked by my answer. “Yeah. Is that wrong?”

I immediately knew I shouldn’t have sounded so surprised, so I tried to regain my composure. “No, it’s just… I never thought he’d be your best friend, out of all people.”

“How come?” she asked, curious of the reason why I would think that way.

“He seems really cold and uncaring. I thought you’d have a more… sweet and sensitive best friend.”

She shook her head slowly. “Despite his cold exterior… Dae Myung’s really caring and protective of me. He’s the one who helped me survive school days. He was also… the one who made it possible for you and I to meet again.” A sweet and blissful smile took a hold of her lips.

The same feeling from before reappeared, slightly tightening my chest. This time, I couldn’t let it escape; I tried to analyze more closely this strange reaction, searching for the reason that was causing this.

But, as logic pointed out to her, I stopped trying to find out why.

I was scared to discover what was growing inside my heart.

“I guess I should be thankful to him then, right?” I said with a slight smile.

“Well, I think my gratitude is already enough though.” she replied, slightly laughing.

We looked at each other for a while, simply smiling. I had a feeling that Sang Hee would’ve looked away if I was just some stranger to her. I couldn’t help but feel glad that she was so comfortable around me now.

But I soon realized we had gotten distracted from the main focus of this conversation. This just proved how easy it was to forget everything else when I was with her.

Not like it was a bad thing though.

“Why was he acting oddly then?” I asked, curious as to why she had stated he was.

“Well… These past days, I can’t recognize him at times. He acts in a more impulsive and… somewhat scary manner.” I could see the sadness and confusion hiding behind those words.

“Scary manner? Since when has he been like this?”

“Ever since we had went out to the amusement park last Sunday to celebrate my first performance…”

I couldn’t explain why but, upon hearing that, I started to wonder how it would’ve been, to go to the amusement park with her. She was really shy yet sweet; it would’ve been funny to see her reaction in some rides.

I knew I couldn’t go anywhere without having to hide my whole face though.

Which meant that I’ll probably never get the chance to spend time with her anywhere else than in this practice room.

And, just for that, I was jealous of him.

“Do you remember any events that would’ve made him act this way?” I asked, trying to help her resolve this mystery.

“I don’t think there was any specific event… He really seemed happy that day though. He held my hand and hugged me just like an older brother.”

Just like an older brother…?

“Did he seem to enjoy spending time with you that day?”

“Yes. That’s why I don’t get why he’s been acting so strange these past days…”

I was starting to have a few ideas of why he was acting this way.

In fact, was he just… in love with her?

“What do you mean by “scary” manner?” I asked, wondering if my suspicions were right.

“For example, in the elevator right after we had seen each other earlier… He asked me if I thought he was… handsome.” she said with insecurity, saddened by the recalling of this event. “His eyes were intense and I was troubled by the absence of his usual caring smile. I didn’t know what to answer him.”

“What did you answer him?”

“I told him he had some girls who liked him at school and judges who thought he was the most handsome…”

“I’m guessing he didn’t take it well?”

“Yeah… He seemed pained and sad for some reason by my answer.”

Dammit.

He likes her, that’s for sure.

I couldn’t explain why, but I felt a mix of jealousy and worry, knowing he’d probably be by her side all this time.

No matter how high of an opinion she had of him, he was still a guy and she had to be more careful.

But my heart dropped immediately as I realized I couldn’t do anything. I could only see her during our short mutual break time. How was I supposed to protect her if I was restrained by my idol status?

Regret started creeping up my heart; I tried to suppress it, but I was tired of having to endure this. I couldn’t even protect the ones I wanted close to me. I couldn’t even spend one day like everyone else.

How inhuman must we idols be to remain in this world?

I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, inhaling deeply. I tried to calm myself, to erase the frustration I could feel welling up inside of me.

If she considered him her best friend, then there must be a good reason for it, right?

…

I don’t know if I’d be able to not worry knowing he likes her and spends time with her all the time though.

Plus, I kinda envy him for being able to spend time with her…

Wait.

Why am I even jealous?

So he likes her. Big deal.

I shouldn’t even be feeling jealousy now. Worry is already enough, really.

I’m so weird sometimes.

I opened my eyes slowly and stared into hers, a bit confused by my contradicting feelings. I still wanted to help her, no matter what. I decided to go for a more careful approach though: whatever happens was meant to and I shouldn’t have anything to do with it.

“Just act like usual around him. If he continues to act strange, try to figure out the reason for him acting this way.” I advised her, carefully choosing my words.

I didn’t want her to directly ask him; I had a feeling it’d turn out into a pretty awkward situation.

“Alright, I’ll do that. I hope everything’ll be fine tonight when we go back home…” she said with gratitude swirling in her eyes.

“I’m sure they will.” I reassured her with a smile.

I hesitated a bit before saying the next words, but I was tired of always restraining myself with words. So I let them escape my lips, and with them the uncomfortable feeling of my words being held in chains all the time.

“You can always call me whenever you need someone to talk to. I might not look like it, but I’m lonely as well. I know all too well the pain of having no one to turn to during your saddest moments. And you’re the last person I would want to go through that.”

As the last word fled my lips, I noticed that my heart was beating slightly quickly. The words I had spoken had reflected a portion of my sincere thoughts; no fear of troubling my career or worry about her possible dependence on me had held me back.

I wasn’t going to let my idol status take away one more person from me. She was too precious to me now to let go at this point.

Her eyes displayed all the happiness and surprise my words had stirred. A smile filled with gratitude took a hold of her lips as her cheeks reddened to their usual hue.

“Thank you, Jonghyun. I could say the same for you though.” she said in a concerned manner. I noticed sadness overflowing into her gleaming eyes. “You’re also the last person I’d want to go through loneliness.”

I couldn’t help but feel a slightly warm feeling close to my heart. Hearing her say that she was just as concerned for me was endearing.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m kind of used to it. Besides, I have an idol status to make up for it.” I said with an amused smile.

“And yet… You’re still lonely, aren’t you?” she said sadly, with concerned words.

I couldn’t say why, but hearing someone actually state it made me realize how much I really was.

It showed its true colors, swelling and swelling so much I felt like it was constricting my heart.

I knew I was hiding it all along, ignoring its growth and continuing through my hectic life.

But to be confronted directly to it was overwhelming.

“I am. I guess I really am.” I admitted, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the loneliness I had just uncovered in the confines of my heart.

With a slow movement, she reached out for my hand. I could’ve stopped her from doing so, to not let her hopes of being with me, an idol, rise up. I could’ve taken my hand away, because idols and common people couldn’t mix.

But I didn’t move.

Her soft, fragile fingers held my hand and I could feel her warmth immediately flow into my fingers, straight to my heart.

And, just then, her presence was enough to chase away my loneliness, to cure the plague of solitude creasing my soul.

I was going to give in into my selfishness. My life as an idol was bound to make me a solitary person, but if she was right by my side all along, it was enough to brighten up my perspective of it.

I held onto her hand tightly, conveying my need for her presence. I had become dependent of her, without realizing it; she was one of the few people I could act like myself with.

I gazed into her eyes; they were gleaming with concern. A smile grew on my lips, one filled with gratitude. It wasn’t too soon before a similar one appeared on hers too.

With such a sweet and fragile girl to protect and concentrate my worries on, the world of idols doesn’t seem so lonely, does it?

Yeah, I think I'm fine from now on.

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YAY Jonghyun chapter! <33

He's becoming closer and closer to her, as the story goes... And this really makes me happy, as I look back! ^w^

I sometimes feel bad for not adding Jonghyun as much I would want to~. I think I'm really dedicated to making my story realistic though, so I hope you guys will be patient with me...! <3

And it had been such a long while since I had inserted a mood song, I just noticed! ~ This is a really good song from DBSK that I personally love. ~

Thank you so much all of you for being patient and sticking with this story! Your comments and support really make my day... <3