Dae Myung’s POV

Chung Hee and Kang Dae were both sitting each on either side of me; we were sitting on the couch, looking at the small, old TV in front of us. A publicity of Goodbne Chicken appeared, featuring SHINee. Out of all the ones that could have passed, did this one really have to appear right now?

I glanced at the clock. Twelve minutes left before the opening ceremony for the charity event would begin.

Ugh this is driving me insane.

I got up and paced around the room, restless, feeling Chung Hee and Kang Dae’s curious stares on me.

“Dae Dae hyung! Why you walking arwound?” Chung Hee’s familiar voice asked.

“Because Dae Dae hyung is nervous.” I said, continuing my thousand steps around the living room.

“Is Sang Hee noona going to appear on TV?” Kang Dae asked, curious.

I stopped in my tracks and looked at both of them on the couch, eyeing me with wide eyes.

“Yes. Yes, she’s going to.” I said in almost a whisper.

Who the hell would’ve thought twelve minutes could pass so slowly?!

I took my cellphone out of my pocket and sent her a text.

“Are you nervous? Are you going to be okay? Don’t be too anxious, alright?

-Dae Myung”

A reply soon appeared.

“Kekeke you sound more nervous than I am! I’m a bit anxious, but I’ll be fine~. You heard me play before, right? Without mentioning you were practically stalking me during lunch time before we started being friends. Kekeke

-Sang Hee”

I couldn’t help but smile, amused, as I read her text.

So maybe I stalked her before. Big deal.

Hearing that she was fine made some of the anxiety leave my thoughts. I really hoped she wouldn’t fail during the performance. I'd be really embarassed for her if something were to happen. But I didn't want to be negative.

So I told myself that this was Sang Hee, the talented pianist who could achieve miracles.

Which was kinda true, because she had changed me into a better, happier person.

I could never admit that to her though.

The opening ceremony had finally begun.

I went to sit back between Kang Dae and Chung Hee, wrapping them with both of my arms.

An emcee soon appeared, thanking everyone to have come. Most of the groups performing were from SM Entertainment. Apparently, this charity event was dedicated to orphans and would help raise funds for organisms that assured proper financing of orphanages.

I had always felt sympathy for orphans. We were lucky Umma didn’t give up on us and still worked hard to support us, although times were often dire. If she didn’t love us this much, we might’ve been separated and sent to different foster homes. Those kids were the unlucky ones.

Gratitude and sadness filled my heart as I wished Umma was right here with us, relaxing and spending time with us. I searched for each of the twins’ hand and held them tightly, as if I wanted to convey all the happiness I felt for having them with me.

They held it back tightly then both leaned their head against me. I immediately felt simple happiness overflowing; for a moment, I even forgot about Sang Hee and the reason why I was watching TV right now.

But, as f(x) started singing and dancing Hot Summer, I remembered her again. All the anxiety flowed back; I looked at the figures of the members performing, but it was as if I was staring through them, unaffected.

I wondered if I’d continue feeling this way every single time she’d be playing at some event. I also wondered if she would feel the same way when I’d start performing at upcoming events. It wouldn’t be anytime soon though, since I had at least two years of practice ahead of me.

Suddenly, I wished training would just move on quicker. So she could see that I was also capable of performing and so that, hopefully, she'd get as nervous as I am for her now.

I almost felt depressed about the amount of time required before debuting. But I knew that, once I’ll make it, it would be all worth it.

Yes, it should all fall into place once I debut.

But if I debut, I wonder if Sang Hee and I would drift apart?

Jonghyun’s POV

“Passengers for flight 958 headed for Tokyo, please start to embark.” a female voice called.

As members of the ever-popular group SHINee, we didn’t need to wait in the usual waiting areas; we had our own lounge, to avoid fans and paparazzi.

I took a glance at the flight number on my ticket.

958.

Everyone got up from the comfortable sofas and wore their bags. The manager carefully opened the door and walked out, leading the way. The walk itself to the gate wasn’t so far; it was the commotion we might cause at the airport that was the real problem.

Minho and Taemin walked behind him, followed by Key, still fumbling with his cellphone. Onew and I followed soon after, closing the door behind us.

We were off for a photoshoot in Japan as well as some interviews, which will probably include a Korean-Japanese translator. It gets tiring at times, traveling between the two countries ever since we debuted in Japan, but the energy and support from the fans always somehow managed to keep me up on my feet, smiling.

As we continued walking, Onew and I were discussing about little things, until this one question caught my attention.

“Hey, did you hear? If we didn’t have the photoshoot and the interviews in Japan, we would’ve participated at the charity event for orphanages today.” he said simply.

Charity event? The same one Sang Hee was about to play at?

Damn it.

“Is that the one where SNSD was singing Mistake at?” I asked, slightly hoping it wasn’t so I wouldn’t start regretting going to Japan.

“I think so. f(x) and BoA were also performing if I recall correctly.” he said with a hint of uncertainty.

“Is that so…?” I said, slightly saddened.

“You wanted to participate?” he asked, slightly curious and surprised.

I knew Onew was trustworthy; he was our leader after all, and he has proved to be a kind and supportive one. I knew I could trust him with the secret of this shy and sweet girl I had sworn to protect.

As I was about to tell him, a shriek suddenly echoed a bit further on our right. All of us looked in the direction where it came from.

It was one of our fans probably, seeing how she was pointing and waving at us madly.

“SHINee-ah~! Saranghae!” she shouted enthusiastically.

It wouldn’t be too soon before more fangirls would join in and we would be swarmed. We were almost there though, so we all waved at her, smiling, hoping it’d somehow calm her down.

It worked somehow, as she smiled shyly back, waving. Other people started recognizing us though, so we hurried to the gate, smiling half-forced, half-sincere smiles to them.

I start to wonder if I’d ever be able to go back to the times where I could take the plane without this happening. Slight disappointment seized me as I realized it wouldn’t happen in a very long time, when I won’t be as popular anymore.

As we arrived to the gate, there was already a crowd following us. Flashes and demands for autographs assaulted us from the mass of people. The manager tried to control the crowd as we gave the flight clerk our tickets.

As she finished scanning our tickets, we quickly made our way towards the plane with relief. Our manager soon followed and as we arrived, we gave our tickets to the flight attendees then made our way to our seats.

We had economy seats, which I still found pretty odd even now, since we always tried avoiding crowds of people. I was seated next to Onew by the window, so I sat in first, exhausted.

All a day’s work in the life of an idol.

I looked outside; the sky was warmed by an orange sunlight. Seeing how the landscape was no different from any other times I had come to this airport, I took out my cellphone and diverted my gaze unto it.

Suddenly remembering I couldn’t text anyone during flight, I quickly started typing Sang Hee a text.

“Hey~. You’re almost going to play, right? Good luck! I’m about to fly on a plane to Japan, so I won’t be able to reply.

Remember though! If it’s you, I’m sure everything’ll be fine. Sang Hee hwaiting!

-Jonghyun”

Knowing her, I could already feel slightly nervous; I wondered if her shyness would get in the way. Even though I knew she played perfectly, I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d be able to pull it off.

I knew I shouldn’t be so nervous for her; it felt like the more I worried, the more I would somehow lessen her chances to do well.

So I closed my cellphone and put it in my pocket, in an attempt to stop worrying about her.

But when my cellphone vibrated, stating I had received a text, I immediately took it out and opened it. I then knew there was no way I could stop being worried about her.

“Thank you Jonghyun! I’m slightly nervous, but I will do my best! If you say it’ll be fine, I can’t help but feel like it will be. Have fun in Japan!

-Sang Hee”

I immediately smiled; the nervousness slightly lessened, but I knew I’d keep on worrying until I actually saw how she did. I closed my cellphone and put it in my pocket.

I’m such a nervous bodyguard.

Without having anything to do now, I looked at Onew. He was reading the pamphlet on security measures, probably out of boredom. As soon as he felt my gaze on him, he looked up then smiled as he saw that I had finished fumbling with my cellphone; he put the pamphlet back in the front of his seat.

 “So… Why’d you want to participate so badly?” he asked, slightly amused to finally be able to ask.

I knew I couldn’t hide anything from our leader.

“Well… There’s this girl named Sang Hee…”

 I told him everything about her, from the fan meeting to now.

I told him about the guerilla date and how I rejected her; I could still feel a tint of guilt and regret as I explained it to him. I also told him about the auditions, our encounter after 3 months, her friend who was now a trainee, her acceptance to the Instrumental Department.

Onew listened patiently and calmly, without saying a single word. As I finished telling him everything, we were already drifting along the sky.

I was so absorbed in telling him that the impression of us moving and taking off seemed so far away; it didn’t make its mark in my mind.

He didn’t say anything for a while, until an unusual question escaped his lips.

“Do you like her?” he asked inquiringly.

What?

His question surprised me and got me thinking; I couldn’t answer anything at first.

Did I really like her? How should I know?

I tried to remember all those moments I had spent with her, all the feelings I felt when she was with me.

Of course, I had other girlfriends before. I’ve had some I was serious about. Others, not so much. But somehow, Sang Hee was different. She wasn’t someone I could so easily go out with just to determine my feelings. She was fragile and sweet; I couldn’t act impulsively and risk hurting her.

I really did like spending time with her, but I wasn’t sure if these feelings were of love. One part of me didn’t want it to be, because it would be troublesome for both of us.

I wouldn’t want to make her depend on me too much.

What would she do if I had to stay in Japan for a longer period of time?

What would she do if we couldn’t see each other for whole months?

We would both miss each other incredibly. We would have to be extra careful to be inconspicuous whenever we would meet. We wouldn’t even be able to go out in public places like normal couples.

…

Of course, that is if I actually do have feelings for her.

Which I didn’t know yet.

“I don’t know. I mean, I do like her. But maybe not in the love way.” I said, slightly confused and unsure.

He smiled like a caring father.

“You’ll find out in due time.” he said wisely.

I couldn’t help but smile, amused.

That was such a predictable answer.

How was I supposed to know in due time?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, another double update! This chapter didn't include Sang Hee's POV, but you'll see her in the next one! Click on "Next Chapter" <3

I keep on writing so much! I planned this to be Chapter 23, but once I finished, I realized I had written too much. So I had to separate it in two again! But I don't think you guys mind having two chapters, right? Kekeke <3

So... Jonghyun is on the road to the discovery of his inner feelings! I wonder how long it'll take him? Kekeke I'm debating whether I should make it quick or slow.

As for Dae Myung, he's so cute, worrying over her! Hehehe, I know someone's going to be happy reading this. -hint hint- You know who you are. <3

Thank you for supporting so much everyone! <3