Dae Myung’s POV

The frivolous manager at our work was right about how us working here would attract customers.

At least, for my part she was.

A couple of high school girls passed by and had just shot a glance in the shop; I was busy arranging the multitude of cupcakes in the counter. I saw them look at me from the corner of my eye, they immediately pointed out to me, giggling. It wasn’t too soon before they were on the other side of the counter, asking me with a flirty tone which cupcakes were the best.

I couldn’t really say I was surprised by this enthusiasm after a few years at school, but to see the effect I had on girls even at work was a bit funny, actually.

Sang Hee was by the window, decorating it with a multitude of colorful ribbons of various sizes. She had seen them walk in and overwhelm me. I could see by her expression that she felt bad and wanted to help me.

I didn’t want her to bother herself with this though. I knew well enough how girls could be when they saw a guy they liked.

Sang Hee approached herself, a sweet smile on her lips.

“Is there anything you need help with?” she asked the girls, a bit shyly.

One of the girls glanced at her, before returning her gaze back to me. “It’s fine. I’m sure he can take care of us.”

Her reply immediately ignited a spark of frustration in me. It was one thing to be infatuated with me, but it was a whole other thing to disregard Sang Hee when she was only trying to help.

It’s a shame I had to keep it in and be “professional” though.

I could only look at her and smile a bit apologetically, conveying all the sympathy I had for her. She returned a reassuring smile; she wanted me to stop worrying about her.

It’s amazing how we didn’t even need words anymore to understand each other.

An impulse to just hold her hand at that moment surged in me.

I didn’t resist it.

Her hand was soft to the touch; I found myself holding unto it tightly.

I knew I probably looked weird right now, holding her hand in front of some girls during work, but it filled me with simple bliss.

The girls only stared at us, speechless. She looked at me with wide eyes. “Dae Myung?”

Seeing her surprise immediately reminded me that, although we understood each other, she didn’t have the same feelings for me. Bitterness immediately swelled in my thoughts.

Seeing her confusion, I decided to cover it up reluctantly.

I reached for her face with my other hand and wiped her cheek in a light flicker, a reluctant yet sweet smile on my lips.

“Sorry, I thought you had something on your cheek.” I simply said in a detached manner before letting her hand go.

She tilted her head before a smile surfaced. “Weirdo.”

She then walked back towards the window, grabbing a few more pink ribbons to hang on top. I turned back towards the girls, who were now more surprised than flirty.

“So, as I was saying, I’d recommend the Mango Delight or the Blue Paradise.” I said nonchalantly, showing them the two cupcakes.

“Are you guys dating?” one of the girls asked with genuine curiosity.

I wished.

“Not really. Interested?” I said with a sly smile.

A flush of pink immediately appeared on her cheeks. Giggles were heard from her friends.

I laughed interiorly, still amazed by how much influence good looks could have on girls.

Looks like some things never do change. Girls still act the same around me.

Every one of them.

Except Sang Hee.

...

I must really be one of the unluckiest guys on earth.

I couldn’t depress more over my fate though.

The door chimed as someone entered. It was a good-looking guy, wearing the uniform of one of the most prestigious high schools of Seoul. He had dyed his hair a chocolate brown and wore silver earrings; there was a particular, confident aura emanating from him.

I noticed with immediate alert that he had turned his attention to Sang Hee, who was arranging the flowers in the window display.

And jealousy and selfishness immediately swarmed my mind.

Sang Hee’s POV

“Those cupcakes around you are pretty cute, but they don’t beat you.”

Startled, I turned around and saw a handsome guy around my age, blessed with eye-charming looks. An adorable smile was on his lips. He had brown-chocolate hair surrounding his perfect traits; his silver earring shone softly in the sunlight.

I couldn’t help but feel extremely flustered as I realized he had just complimented me.

Of course, Jonghyun beats him by far. And yet, I can’t help but be… happy?

“Oh…! Thank you.” I said, somehow glad and yet embarrassed that a good-looking guy like him had just called me cute.

He slightly leaned forward, tilting his head to the side with that same smile, eyeing me with those charming eyes. I heard the tiny jingle from his earrings. “No need for thanks when I’m just saying the truth. So… Mrs…” He looked at my name tag. “Mrs. Sang Hee. Would you like to show me what are the best cupcakes to buy?”

I could smell his ice-mint breath on my face. I could feel my cheeks slightly warm up as his face was close to mine.

Calm down, Sang Hee, calm down. This isn’t Jonghyun so don’t be this way...!

“Y-Yes, right this way please…!” I ducked and passed him towards the counter, as if to escape the confusing power he had over me.

I heard his footsteps behind me; I couldn’t help but be nervous. There was just something… entrancing about him. It was probably because I wasn’t used to being approached so suddenly. His boldness and… flirting had caught me aback.

Dae Myung had finished serving the girls as they were now sitting at a nearby table. As he saw the guy who was following me, his expression soon turned into a scowl.

I guessed his older brother instinct made him react that way.

I smiled to him reassuringly, to tell him it was alright.

I showed the charming customer the wide range of cupcakes of various flavors, trying to seem the least nervous I could. He bent down and eyed them calmly and attentively. I looked at Dae Myung; he was rearranging the cash register, but he seemed unhappy.

I wonder if it was because of the girls?

Or was it because of the handsome customer?

If it was because of him, why would he even be like this in the first place?

I couldn’t give it more thought though, as my customer soon got back up on his feet. He looked at me with those entrancing eyes again; I couldn’t help but smile embarrassingly again.

“I’ll take one Vanilla Sunset and two Sea Breeze.” he said with a charming smile.

He gazed into my eyes; he was wearing contacts of a beautiful azure color. I wondered if he was an ulzzang.

“Alright, you can head to the cash register.” I said as I made my way behind the counter, the soft color of his eyes stuck in my mind. I searched behind the counter for a cute pink bento-box lookalike.

I opened it and put two azure cupcakes sparkled with white stars, soon followed by a white one swirled with orange frosting. Even if I had always admired these works of art after school often, their beauty never seemed to fade away in my eyes.

I soon made my way towards the cash register and set them next to it. He had that same handsome smile, topped with those beautiful, gleaming eyes.

“Will that be all?” I asked in a happy manner.

“Yes, that’s all.”

I inputted the prices into the cash register; the familiar beeping sounds were soon heard. “It’ll be 5 800 won please.”

He took out his wallet from his pocket; I noticed it was attached with a silver chain to his pants. He was really fashionable. Although, with his looks, I wasn’t so surprised.

He took out a 10 000 won bill and handed it to me. I noticed a few silver rings on his hand. I couldn’t help but feel giddy as I took the bill.

Maybe he really is an ulzzang?

I opened the cash register and took out the appropriate amount of change. I gave it to him with his receipt, followed by his purchase. He took it gently; our hands touched slightly. He noticed it then looked into my eyes, smiling.

It was slightly odd; I knew what I felt wasn’t love.

But I felt giddiness swelling inside of my heart.

Was it admiration?

No, that wasn’t it.

I was just… amazed that an ulzzang was right in front of me. It was a similar feeling to when you just met someone important, out of the ordinary.

But it was going to be over, as he gave me a simple yet charming wink before leaving. The last thing I could remember were the silver earrings reflecting the light off.

I had a slight smile on my lips that I couldn’t seem to erase. This feeling was similar to the one I had felt the whole day right after anything amazing happened to me.

It was the joy of meeting someone you deemed too amazing to even compliment you with a look.

I looked back at Dae Myung, feeling giddy and amazed that a celebrity-like person just talked to me.

He had his eyes set out the window, his eyes staring into the distance. I approached him silently.

Mood song: Paradise – Infinite

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7hdK5k5_3w

As I realized there was something wrong with him, my smile slowly melted away and concern took a hold of my thoughts.

“Why is it always the other guys…” I could hear him whisper with pain.

I couldn’t say why, but I had a bad feeling about this. An uneasy feeling gripped me once more, giving me the impression that he was slipping away once more.

As if driven by my fear of losing him, I clenched the back of his shirt with a frail hand, staring down just like a child.

I felt him startle before turning his head back.

“Sang Hee?” he said in a gentle voice. “Are you okay?”

I looked up to him. I was met with those same concerned eyes.

Immediate relief soothed my fear of losing him; he was still the same.

It was then that I realized how much he was important to me, how much he was the pillar holding me up every day.

I couldn’t trouble him so much anymore. He had already done so much for me.

I owed him peace at school.

I owed him my acceptance into SM Entertainment.

I owed him my first stage performance.

I owed him an amazing friendship.

I owed him my everyday joy.

I owed him my smiles.

I owed him my happiness.

I took my hand away and smiled reassuringly, warmly.

“No, it’s nothing. Nothing at all.”

Dae Myung’s POV

Her words said all the contrary. She was worried for me.

I found some joy in this fact, but I could still feel the jealousy and confusion animating the inside of my heart. The way she had looked so flustered in front of that guy constricted my chest with pain.

Was it because he was handsome?

Was it because he was embarrassing her with his flirting?

What I couldn’t seize in my mind was why she wasn’t that way around me.

Wasn’t I good-looking as well? Didn’t the girls from before just prove my point?

Did my position as an older brother really make it impossible for me to become anything more in her eyes?

I looked straight into her eyes. I could see all the concern she had for me. I loved knowing she cared for me, knowing she worried over me.

But, at the same time, it became unbearable to know these feelings weren’t directed with the intentions I wanted. It became unbearable to know that I could never be more.

Because I wanted to convey all this love that was consuming me.

Because I wanted to be selfish and keep her all for myself.

Because I wanted her to accept my love as it is.

Because I wanted her to let me love her.

She smiled at me simply in a reassuring manner. Even so, as I was aching from inside, I couldn’t help but feel the corners of my lips swerve upwards.

How could love be so confusing and strange?

How could I love someone this much?

How could I still be able to smile when I could feel my heart being torn apart, bit by bit everyday?

I closed my eyes in an attempt to separate myself from the outside world.

Just a moment for myself.

Just a moment where I could stay away from all this confusion.

But it was of no use.

I couldn’t make her go away from my mind. I couldn’t escape this overwhelming obsession that had taken over me.

I felt warmth seep into my forehead. I opened my eyes slowly; she appeared in all her grace and beauty, holding a worried palm to my forehead.

Her expression was filled with worry and care.

Happiness intertwined itself with the confusion and sadness roaming in my thoughts.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t seem so well today…” she said in a sweet, sad manner.

I took her hand away and held onto it. She didn’t react as I did so; she eyed me, waiting for an answer.

How was I supposed to answer though?

I couldn’t tell her I was jealous.

I couldn’t tell her I wanted to make her mine.

“I’m just like I’ve always felt for the past few weeks.” I replied with a soft, bitter voice.

I let her hand go gently. I could see the worry expand in her eyes.

I hadn’t lied to her though.

I reassured her with a faint smile; she tilted her head slightly, a saddened expression on her usually gentle, serene traits.

Even if her presence was an ephemeral joy, I knew I needed some time alone, away from this whole situation.

“I’m off for a break.” I said simply as I turned and made my way for the store’s backdoor.

I heard her faint “okay”; it was filled with confusion and uncertainty.

I knew I was worrying her. I knew I was making her anxious.

But how could I have hidden it anymore?

As I saw her act so flustered and giddy with that ulzzang, it made me realize how much I was invisible to her.

Things would never change.

I would always be her older brother.

And nothing more.

How could I stay right beside her, loving her with all my aching heart?

How could I survive through the days living off of short-lived moments of happiness?

I opened the door; the wind welcomed me with a gentle, melancolic breeze.

I could hear the lonely leaves rustle in the distance.

I closed my eyes, alone amongst the autumn landscape and my painful thoughts.

My heart ached.

I couldn’t bear it anymore.

I couldn’t contain it anymore.

I really couldn’t do this anymore.

I had to tell her.

I had to make her see me.

I knew that once those words would be gone from my lips, time could never go back.

But I couldn’t bear lying to her or myself anymore.

I couldn't bear being so close to her yet so far.

I couldn't bear not having her as mine.

Because I loved her so much.

Because I loved her too much for my own good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YAY UPDATE! <3

I've been able to update this week now that I've passed my midterm exams. I think I've realized just how much I'm obsessed with writing kekeke. I really love writing... I really love this story. <3

What did you guys think of this chapter? ~ I think DaeDae's really at his edge... Poor sweetie! TT~TT

Things are really getting interesting though, right? I feel almost bad for making him endure all this for the sake of a good story. xD;

I was really inspired by Infinite's Paradise towards the end. <3 Goodness, I love Infinite so muchhhh. ~ Been supporting them ever since their debut, and to see them so successful really makes me so proud, just like a mom... <3

My fanfic has grown so much ever since it first started 8 months ago...! Thank you so much for reading and taking your time to follow this story! <3 I can't describe how much I am grateful to all of you! <33