Jonghyun's POV

We were recording one of the upcoming songs for our next album. As it was Onew's turn to record his parts in the song, the rest of us were being lazy in the lounge. Key was showing something on the Internet to Taemin with his cellphone. It must've been funny, because they started laughing hysterically. Minho and I were discussing about work in general, about our japanese promotions and album recording. Minho's a pretty serious guy, and he used to be a bit reserved after our debut, but he's opened up a lot ever since.

All of us know that when something's bothering us, we can always confide in him. Plus, he usually does most of the housework in our dorm without complaining. He's really that kind. Makes me wonder how he does it.

We all heard the door open; Onew had finished. It was now Minho's turn to record his parts. He got up and walked towards the door leading to the recording room. Onew let him pass and told him "have fun". We don't tell each other "good luck" anymore. It wasn't a matter of luck, but of being able to convey the right feelings and to enjoy singing. We had grown so much ever since our debut. To think I have already spent 3 years with these guys... I unconsciously smiled at that thought.

Taemin had stopped looking at whatever was so funny on Key's cellphone and was now studying the papers he brought with him. He was still in high school, but with his current activities as an idol, he barely had time to study. I know he'll manage to go through it, just like I did for my studies. Key, as for him, was still fumbling with his cellphone. Although it seems like he doesn't care about anything, he's not a bad person. His carefree and wild personality were what made his fans love him so much actually.

Onew sat on the couch with us. "Hey, I heard today's the day the auditions for Seoul are starting."

"Yeah, they're held in here too," Key said without looking up from his cellphone's screen. "They didn't want to rent a whole other building just for the auditions."

"Yeah, that makes sense," Onew said. "I wonder how the new trainees will be like this year."

"Probably hopeful and talented." Taemin said, smiling, while keeping his eyes glued to his studies.

I was bored out of my mind, and I had already finished recording my parts. I was really starting to be curious about the participants, so going downstairs to look at all the hopeful people trying out seemed like a fun idea. I got up and made my way towards the door.

"I'm going to go take a look," I said simply. "I'll be back in about 20 minutes."

They all said "okay" and, as I closed the door behind me, I heard Onew tell Taemin: "Hey, talking about auditions. Your audition video was all the rage with the fans." I smiled as I heard that. It was true, Taemin's audition video was pretty amazing. He was so young when he tried out, but he probably danced better than most people could in it. Taemin's a genius at dancing, and no one ever has doubted that.

I had heard that the auditions were being held on the 3rd floor. As the elevator door opened, I noticed some of the staff in charge of the event. I greeted them politely and entered. I started to wonder if my presence would worsen the hopeful participants' anxiety.

Maybe I shouldn't go see them, after all... I wouldn't want to make things worse for them...

But it was too late to go back. Since I was already in the elevator, I mentally charged myself with positive energy. Instead of getting worried about making them more anxious, I should put all my energy into making them feel more relaxed, right?

Alright, Kim Jonghyun. Operation: Goodbye Anxiety commenced!

The elevator door opened, and I let everyone leave before me. I looked in the corridors: it was filled with mainly teens. Some were practicing singing silently with their headphones on; others were doing slight dance moves, trying not to bother anyone. A few just sat on the seats, fumbling with their cellphone. But they had one thing in common: they were all nervous, yet had that same glint of hope I saw in the kids I had auditioned with, way back.

As I walked in, some of them turned to see who was coming out of the elevator. At my sight, some girls gasped and mumbled my name while the guys just looked at me in disbelief. I walked over to the first two girls standing closest to me. They smiled giddily as I approached.

"Hey there." I told them simply.

"H-Hello, Jonghyun...!" they all said shyly, bowing.

"Are you guys nervous?" I asked.

"N-No, of course not." one of them answered, although it was obvious the contrary was more plausible.

"Actually, I'm pretty nervous..." another admitted anxiously.

"Hey, it'll be alright," I reassured them. "What song will you each be singing?"

"I'll be singing You & I by Park Bom." the first girl said, a bit less shyly.

"That's a good choice." I said, nodding.

"My song's going to be Good Day by IU," the second one mumbled anxiously. "I'm sure I'm going to miss a note though..."

I put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it'll be alright." I reassured her. A smile of gratitude widened on her lips.

"Thank you." she said simply, her cheeks changing to a slight pink.

"Good luck, you two." I said, before removing my hand and going over to the next contestants right next to them.

I felt happy to be able to help them, even if I didn't know who they were personally. I had wished someone would have come to help me calm down right before my audition to tell me it was going to be alright, but no one ever did. Now, I wanted to be that person who would try to make some, if not all, of the anxiety go away. There was just something about the smiles people give back in return that seemed to make all my efforts worth it.

...

I'm really too much of a softie, aren't I?

Some people were ecstatic by my presence, while others seemed intimidated by it. In every case, I've tried to tell them encouraging words. Every one of them took my words with gratitude though. Some even asked for my autograph, although they were nervous.

To be honest, I found it pretty sad that the only way they could prove they met me was by a picture or an autograph. People hang on to signatures so that they could keep an intimate memory of their idols. I know it's impossible for us idols to keep in touch with all our fans, but I try to make every memory with everyone personal.

As I finished talking to some nervous participants, I turned over to walk to the next two participants. But as I did, I couldn't contain my surprise. I recognized someone I never would have expected to see here. I could only stare at her in utter disbelief:

It was Sang Hee.

Sweet, kind, caring Sang Hee whose heart I had broken three months ago.

And here I thought we would never cross paths again, that I had lost someone who could have been precious to me. But here she was again, right before my eyes. I didn't usually believe in fate, but was there a reason for us always crossing paths? Seoul must have about ten million people, but to think we'd meet again...

She was looking back at me, with that same shy smile she had last time; I couldn't help but smile back at her. The other person standing next to her was a cool, good-looking guy. By the way they leaned against the wall together, they seemed to be close. I started to wonder if he was her boyfriend. Then again, Sang Hee must have alot of admirers, from what I knew of her personality.

I must've looked pretty stupid, just standing there, so I started walking over to them. I wondered how she had been faring, ever since the last time we met. Was she hurt that I had chosen not to keep in contact? I felt a bit nervous for some reason, but I knew I should just act like normal.

Calm down, Jonghyun. Sang Hee's just like any other participant here.

"Annyeong~." I greeted, smiling.

"H-Hey, Jonghyun!" Sang Hee said, smiling back.

"Hey." the guy said sharply.

Well, this isn't starting well...

"I never thought I'd see you audition here, Sang Hee." I told her, curious.

As I mentioned her name, I could see a glint of joy sparkle in her eyes and her cheeks turn to a slight pink. Her companion didn't seem to appreciate it though, and was now glaring at me.

Huh... Maybe they really are dating.

"Well, actually, I'm here to play piano for Dae Myung here." she said, pointing at him.

"Don't you need to audition though, to be here?" I asked, perplexed.

"Yeah, I am too," she replied. "Although I highly doubt I'd pass anyways. The main point of me being here is to play for him, really."

She showed me the electronic piano at her feet. Dae Myung didn't say anything and just stared coldly. I wondered what was wrong with him. It's not like I was being flirty or anything.

"What song are you going to sing?" I asked him, trying to make him loosen up a bit.

"똑똑똑 by 4MEN." he answered frigidly.

"Oh, that's a good choice." I said, a bit exasperated by the treatment I was given.

I saw that Sang Hee was also embarassed by his attitude. I didn't get why he had to be this way. It's not the fact that he was being like this to me that bothered me; I had haters, so I knew how to cope with it. What bothered me was that if he remotely cared about her, he should see he was making her uneasy. From what I knew about her, she's emotionally fragile. He needs to pay more attention to her, instead of doing things that could make her feel uneasy.

...

Wait. I don't even know him. Maybe he's actually kind and all.

...

Wait a sec, I don't even have a right to judge him.

...

But maybe they're not even dating?

...

It's really not my place to be worrying about their problems, right?

Oh really, Kim Jonghyun. You need to work on not worrying about other people so much.

Mood Song: 똑똑똑 - 4MEN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNsyd8Itzqg&feature=related

Dae Myung's POV

Okay. So he actually remembers her. And she's looking at him with that same expression I could notice anywhere: that giddy look girls give to the guys they're interested in. It just pisses me off how he's leading her on like that. I bet he doesn't even care about her and he just happened to have a really good memory. And here I'm entering this audition just so she would realize it. But this Jonghyun... He's making everything more complicated than they should be.

"How about you, Sang Hee?" he asked her with that fake smile typical to idols.

"Well, I chose an easier song to sing since I can't really sing," she said, smiling back to him. Ugh, stop smiling at him like that. "I chose My Boy by Secret."

"Oh that's a nice song too," he said, calm and annoyingly kind. "Try your best, and I'm sure it won't be for nothing."

Her eyes shone at those words. "Thank you." Are you serious...

I just looked at him, glaring. He looked at us two, then laughed a bit. "Hey, are you two dating?"

We both looked at him, surprised. Why was he asking such a weird question? As I was about to answer, Sang Hee beat me to it.

"N-No, we're not!" she said hastily and loudly.

I couldn't help but get offended. Of course we weren't, but she made it look like it was torture to be with me. It's not like I wanted to be with her anyways. I could choose any girl at school if I wanted to.

Pfft... Making me look like I'm the worst guy any girl could go out with...

"Yeah, who would want to go out with a girl like her anyways?" I said, copying the same tone she used.

She looked at me with surprise, which then turned into irritation. "I should be saying the same thing about you!"

"Whatever." I said, rolling my eyes.

Jonghyun just laughed kindly at us. "Well, if you guys say so."

Sang Hee looked at him in a mix of desperation and disbelief. Hey I'm offended, but that's okay.

"Well, I have to go see the others too, so good luck to you both." Jonghyun said politely.

Sang Hee didn't seem to want him to leave though. Geez, fans and their idol love. "Okay... Thank you, Jonghyun." The way she said those words seemed to have a deeper meaning to it, but maybe I was just imagining things.

"Thanks." I said the most kindly I could.

As he turned, I noticed a different gleam in Jonghyun's eyes. He seemed... to actually care about her for a second. But I'm probably just not interpreting it right. As he walked on to the next people, Sang Hee kept her eyes glued to him, leaning against the wall. There was a mix of sadness and longing in her eyes. It made me irritated, that she'd cling on to him like that. That guy could get any girl he wanted, so why would he even bother choosing Sang Hee? It seemed so logical to me, how could she not see that and still cling on to him?

"Hey," I said simply. "He probably doesn't care about you as much as you do."

"I know," she replied, still following him with her eyes. "But he's special, Dae Myung."

"How do you know?"

She didn't reply for a while. She just stared at him with a sad smile. Goodness, I'm going to go crazy if this continues. Am I the only one who can think logically here?

"I just know he was being sincere when we met." she said, without further explanation.

I saw that arguing with her wouldn't help, so I decided to stay silent. Even if it frustrated me to no extent, the auditions were more important for now.

At first, I wasn't really motivated by this whole trainee thing. But the more I thought about it, the more avantages I had from becoming a trainee. If I debuted, I'd be able to help Umma pay for the rent, and she won't have to work so much anymore. I'll also be able to buy the twins some presents, just like most other kids of their age. I never had a clear idea of what I wanted to do later on, but if I became a trainee, I might have found a path for me.

But these were all on condition that I passed the auditions.

And, for the first time since I decided to try out, I really got nervous.

As it was my turn, I walked bravely into the auditioning room; I could hear Sang Hee following me silently. As I entered, I noticed 3 judges sitting at a desk a bit further: one of them was a man in his thirties with thick glasses, another was a woman in her thirties as well, and the third one was a man in his forties. A background, which was simply some clouds with the caption "SM Entertainment Auditions", was plastered on the wall.

"Alright, so according to your inscription form, your name is Dae Myung and you will be singing 똑똑똑 from 4MEN." one of the men said without expression.

I could hear Sang Hee setting up the piano behind me. I walked over to the microphone stand. "Yes, that is correct." I said calmly.

"Also, you will be accompanied by your friend there on piano," the judge continued. "That's quite original."

"You have to do whatever it takes to succeed in life." I said, smirking slightly.

The judge, at those words, laughed understandingly. "Looks like you really want to get chosen."

"Of course."

I heard Sang Hee whisper that she had finished setting up. My hands were shaking a bit, and I actually felt a little intimidated. It's rare for me to feel this way; usually, I'd never care much about stuff if they're not related to my family. I wonder if I'd be able to perform if I became an idol, feeling nervous and all.

"Alright, whenever you're ready." the judge said.

I looked back at Sang Hee. She had her fingers on the keyboard, ready to play. She smiled reassuringly at me, and it made a bit of the nervousness go away for some reason. We had practiced a lot during the last 2 weeks after the exams: as soon as she had gotten a hold of the music sheets, she was able to read them perfectly. I was pretty surprised back then. I remembered us practicing in her living room, sometimes under the watchful eye of her mom, at other times just us two.

At first, I couldn't hit the high notes well, but with practice and Sang Hee's support, I was able to. And the more I sang, the more I loved to. I never thought I'd get interested in singing, but it somehow just happened. I had sang before at karaokes with friends, but now, singing had taken a different role: it seemed more important, more fulfilling. And I was just about to show them how much it means to me now.

Sang Hee began playing and I immediately began singing, almost as if by instinct, holding on to the microphone with both hands.

The words ‘I Miss you’, those words my heart tells me to say
Looking at that pretty face, I will stay only by your side
Like a fool forgetting what I wanted to say

Open the door to your heart knock knock knock
All day my head goes round round round round round
(I think I'm going crazy thinking about you)
Someday I will confess surely surely surely surely surely
And our love will start oh oh oh oh oh
(You are already my love)

I felt different. I felt like my perception of everything around me had changed. I had sung those lyrics so many times, but I could never relate to them. But as I sang them just now, I felt the lyrics, their meaning. I turned around and looked at Sang Hee. She smiled at me in her usual gentle way; I couldn't help but smile back at her.

"That was very good." the woman said with a smile.

"Your voice seems to need a bit more vocal practice," the man with the thick glasses said. He then smiled. "But the expression you had and the emotions you sang with made up highly for all of it."

"Kamsahamnida." I said, still smiling. Their words made me happier than I thought they would. When people used to praise me, I didn't pay much attention to it; I knew I was good at sports and things as such. But the nervousness I felt, the effort I put into singing... It gave the compliments all their meaning.

"Alright, thank you for your performance," the woman said calmly. "You may proceed on to the next room for the dance audition. Your friend will be singing next."

"Okay, thank you." I said then bowed, feeling giddy. I made my way towards the door and glanced one last time towards Sang Hee. I could see she was bringing her piano towards the front with the microphone. She looked nervous but still tried to smile; her hands trembled a bit. I wanted to reassure her, but I had to proceed on.

I walked over to the next room and closed the door behind. I knew Sang Hee would do fine. What I needed to concentrate on now was to pass these auditions, for my sake, but for hers as well.

Mood Song: My Boy - Secret

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5V48XY9nAE

Sang Hee's POV

I positioned my piano so that the microphone would be right in front of me, for when I would sing. Dae Myung had proceeded on into the next room, for the dancing part. I felt intimidated and self-conscious, to be alone with these three judges. I wondered if they had a bad impression of me already. They seemed expressionless though.

"Annyeonghaseyo, I'm Sang Hee." I said shyly, as an introduction.

"Thank you for coming," the judge with thick glasses said kindly. "I see that you are going to sing My Boy by Secret. That's a very good choice."

"Yes, I also plan to accompany myself with the piano." I added.

"Alright, show us what you can do."

I set my fingers over the keys. trembling. I didn't want to be nervous, I didn't want to mess up. I closed my eyes for a moment, and I thought. I thought of Dae Myung, who had done so well, of how I wanted to shine just as much as he did. He had become so important in my life; he was just like an older brother to me.

I thought of the song I was going to sing, of its lyrics. I thought of Jonghyun, of our encounter again. There had to be a reason to why we kept on crossing paths. I wanted to see him again, to have his hand hold mine. I knew I was being delusional again, that I was like any other fan he had met, but I wanted him to realize my gratitude, my feelings for him.

Soon enough, I started playing as despair and longing had filled my heart. I wasn't worried anymore of how my voice would come out; I didn't care about the judges anymore. It felt like I was alone, in those moments where you just had to release everything you felt. At that moment, the only thing I wanted to do was to sing to him, tell him how I felt.

Like you, I also felt something the moment I first saw you
It looked like you fell into an illusion
As if you came back to me again in a breath
Disappointed in myself, I broke, I became unable to escape

My boy, day by day, in time, now I don't have any more tears
In my own precious memories, now I hate my one-sided love
I realized that you're in my heart forever, my boy
My boy, my boy

As I walk down the street a dozen times, I think of your gestures
Where are you, brightly smiling?
Now that you're part of my reality
It'd be good to you if I disappeared like dust

But you know, you have to know, don't you know, I've pushed you like a fallen domino
Still, if I see someone who looks like you, my heart races
I spend sleepless nights with my eyes closed
Even today, I'm awake countless nights to send you away

While you look at me, you looked at me shaking
Now I want to tell you, I love you more than that

As I finished, I couldn't help but feel a tear escape my eyes. I realized how much I wanted to be with Jonghyun, how much I wanted to be a part of his world. I wanted us to know each other more, to the point where I would overcome the status of fan to him. I was probably being selfish, and I hated feeling this way.

Yet somehow, I felt free, unburdened, as I realized what I truly wanted.

I looked up and saw the judges smiling, scribbling some notes on their papers. I then remembered I was auditioning, but it didn't bother me as much anymore. It was as if I had just woken up, still in a daze.

"You played really well there," the woman said kindly. "You have something special about you."

"Thank you." I replied, smiling slightly.

"It felt as if you really were living what the lyrics were saying," the man in his forties said. "Your ability to interpret is pretty astounding."

"You wouldn't believe how well those lyrics apply to me." I said, a smirk on my lips.

The judge with the thick glasses smiled at me comprehensively. "Well, thank you for auditioning. Please proceed on to the next room for the dance audition."

I bowed down and thanked them. I got up and started to pack up my piano. I felt like nothing could make me falter, like I was still in the hazes of a dream. It was a weird feeling, but nonetheless comfortable. I looked at the judges and saw them smiling at me. I couldn't help but smile back. I set my piano into its case then walked over to the next room, with my electronic piano case in hand.

Now if only I could dance as well as I sang. But it shouldn't be that bad, since Dae Myung had trained me for the past 2 weeks. I smiled a bit as I remembered him trying to teach me some moves and faking exasperation when I couldn't get it. I didn't expect much from the dancing part, so I was relying more on my piano playing as well as my singing. Then again, I didn't even expect to pass at all.

At first, Dae Myung didn't seem very into the auditions, but as he practiced, he seemed to have more fun singing and dancing. I wondered if he had taken a liking to it.

I hope you get chosen, Dae Myung. I know you have the potential to become an idol.

Jonghyun's POV

We had finished recording, and it was about 10 'o clock. We had to go to our van, so it would bring us back to our dorm. All the other members were making their way into the parking lot, but I had decided to stay behind for a while. The reason was simple: I had to ask someone a question. It wasn't any kind of question; it was one of those questions you knew that if you didn't ask, they'd bother you until they're actually asked.

Well, I understand myself.

As I walked around the 6th floor, I found the person I was looking for. I walked over to him, feeling a bit confused: I didn't know if I was normal to act this way, to even go out of my way to ask him this question.

"Annyeonghaseyo." I said politely.

"Oh, Jonghyun!" the judge in his forties said. "Weren't you leaving?"

"Yes, but I have a question." I answered, a bit hesitant.

"Oh, do tell me then."

"It's about this participant you had today..."

He looked at me, surprised. "I see. Was one of your friends or family participating?"

"Not really..." I felt a bit awkward, for some reason.

"Who is it then?"

"It's a girl who played the piano. Her name's Sang Hee."

He smiled at her name. "Oh, her. She's pretty talented."

I couldn't help but smile at that statement. "Is she passing?"

His expression soon faded. "I'm sorry, but she can't sing nor dance well enough."

So she won't be making it...

"I see..." I said, disappointed.

He noticed my expression, then put a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry too much for her though," he said, a slight smile on his lips. "She has something else on her way."

I looked at him, surprised and curious. What else could there be?

"What is this something else?" I asked, trying not to sound too curious.

"Oh, I can't tell you everything now, can I?" he said, laughing. He took his hand off my shoulder, then shooed me away. "For now, go back to your dorm and get some rest. You'll see soon enough."

I knew he wouldn't tell me even if I insisted, so I decided to give it a rest. I bowed down and told him goodbye. I couldn't make the rest of the members wait longer, so I decided to head into the parking lot. At my sight, the members cheered, saying they're finally going to go rest. I couldn't help but laugh: they were still like kids sometimes.

As the dim street lights passed by, I stared outside the window. Everyone was silent and calm; we had used up all our energy to sing the best we could for the recordings. Even Key was staring outside, as if in a daze. All the while, I couldn't help but be extremely curious about what the judge meant.

What did he mean by "you'll see soon enough"? How could I "see" if she didn't even pass the auditions?

I had told myself that, if she passed, I'd talk to her and make up for what I made her go through last time we had met. I knew there was something different about her, that compelled me to be myself without worries. It was a rare occasion to meet someone who could make you be yourself freely. At least, to me it was, as an idol.

It felt a bit strange to care about her when I had chosen myself for us not to keep in touch. To think she tried out for the auditions... The idol world wasn't a place for her: you had to be able to keep smiling, no matter what, and to pretend everything's fine when they really aren't. The haters would completely destroy her too. I'm a bit relieved she didn't pass, as I thought about all this.

I couldn't help but feel a bit worried about what the judge said though. Would it have to make her join the idol world? If it did, I knew I would have to protect her. I wouldn't forgive myself if I let anything happen to her; she's a really kind person, and I personally hoped all the best for her. Now, that's all on condition she's really joining the idol world.

I sighed.

Why am I making all these theories and solutions when I don't even know what's going to happen to her? This is really just me, worrying about people like this.

Well, hopefully I'll be able to look over her if it does happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-celebrates-! Jonghyun is back! <3 Are you guys happy? 'Cause I am! <3 I was so happy when I started writing Jonghyun's reaction when he saw Sang Hee again~. Dae Myung's reaction was funny to write too. xD

Were some of you happy when you saw Jonghyun as the chapter's picture again? ~ I know I was! Although I love Dae Myunggie too!

The two songs I used in here seemed perfect for the characters so I just HAD to include them~. <3 I hope you guys loved listening to them!

I wonder what the judge meant by what he said! Well, I know what I'm writing (LOL) but I hope it sparked your interest! ~

Thank you for supporting so much you guys! <3 You guys are awesome! :'3 I love writing this just as much as you guys love reading it (hopefully!)~ xD

Comments and subscriptions are always welcome so feel free to~! ^^