Leeteuk Pov

We have a lunch at a famous restaurant.  Being together in the bus like this remind me of the old time. All of my dongsaengs has fall asleep. They must be tired. I sighed to myself. When can I have a memory like this with them anymore..

Then my memory of what did Dr.Dennis said to me when I sneaked out from the hospital bed leaving Boom hyung sleeping alone to find him to explain more of my condition appeared.Actually  I can't sleep after I knew bout the news. I must be passed out during the talk with Dr.Dennis. I wonder if he was the one who bring me to my bed.

"The brain cancer stage 4 is the most dreadful of all the stages. At this stage, the cancer is spread to other parts of the body and this stage is called metastasis. The possibility of curing the cancer at this stage is very low.

The stage 4 brain cancer is treated with one or a combination of the following, Chemotherapy, Radiation Therapy, Biological Therapy, Surgery, Hormone Theraphy and Cryosurgery

Sometimes, the treatment may have some side-effects on the human body. The stage IV brain cancer cannot be cured in most of the cases and most of the time, is fatal. The only known way of extending the life is by keeping a positive attitude towards life and a strong will to survive. It is a pity that medical science is yet to reach that stage where cancer is counted among the completely curable diseases. However, till then, we must not give up on the best thing we have, faith.

According to the available statistics, every year, more than 13000 deaths due to brain cancer are recorded in the United States. Brain cancer prognosis is very bleak. Though the survival rate for advanced stage cancer is very poor, there are examples of patients who have lived for more than five years. Brain cancer stage 4 life expectancy depends upon the patient's will power, determination, positive attitude, love and support from the family and the overall mental and physical health. The survival rate for the cancer varies from country to country. On an average, it is about 20%, which means about 20% people diagnosed with brain cancer may live up to five years.

Life expectancy at stage 4, without any treatment, is about 2 - 3 months, as brain edema eventually leads to death.Those diagnosed with slow growing malignant tumor called oligodendroglioma, generally spend 16 - 18 years with cancer.At stage 4, the life expectancy for patients over the age of 60 is about 1 - 2 years.A young adult (below 40) with brain cancer is likely to live with the cancer for more than 5 years.The 5 year survival rate for the cancer at fourth stage in infants is lower than 30%.Life expectancy for tumors called glioblastoma multiforme is very very poor. Even after proper surgery and treatment the survival rate is 12 - 18 months only. This type of tumor is commonly found in adult patients. Only 4% patients survive up to 5 years.

Life expectancy for stage four brain cancer is very poor. Detection of the cancer in earlier stages helps increase the life expectancy significantly."

All those words that the doctor explain to me keep chanting in my head. This is too much.. Stop. Stop.. Stop.. Please..I pull my hair and tears start to form in my eyes as my head hurts so much..

"Teukie hyung.. Teuki hyung... Wake up please.. please.. Wake up.. Teukie" I can hear someone said to me.. But it is difficult for me to open my eyes. I can feel someone hug and is he sobbing because I can feel his body shaking. 

Slowly I tried to open my eyes.. And what greet me is a crying Siwon. 

"Siwon sshi what happend? Why you are crying?"

"Why am I crying? You are the one who yell asking for stop and yet you are crying in your sleep!! Did anyone hurt you? Tell me what happened to you hyung... Tell me please.."

"Mianhe.. Mianhe.. Mianhe.. I didn't mean to wake you up.. Im just having a nightmare.. Forget about it okay. Please stop crying. I don't want to see you cry" It hurt when I see his crying face as I wipe his tears. What I failed to noticed is all of the member is awake and some of them is crying.

"Did I wake you guys? I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to"

"No it's okay hyung. It not your fault" Ryeowook said in his sob as he is lean on Yesung's chest.

"If you have any problem don't keep it a secret form us. We are family. We will always there for you" Heechul said in a harsh tone but I know it the way he show his love. But it makes me feel guilty. How can I tell them the news when I'm the one that can't accept it and how broken they look even when I having a nightmare. If they knew bout the matter I can't imagine what will they be. I must keep it a secret no matter what. Until it's time they will know it. I don't wnat to see the suffer they faced not until I'm still alive..

"Yes I know.. 'm sorry.. It just a stupid nightmare... You all know how coward can I be" I'm sorry for lying to all of you... But I'm still wishing for tomorrow where I will be there for all of you.

I know this chapter is . I'm sorry if I make all of you confuse. It just that I think I must go more detail bout the illness.. Thanks for reading. love all of you..