~Leeteuk pov~Shower

I let the cold water running down my body as the pain in my head becomes more painful..

What have I done? Why did I return the kiss?

Why does I have to fall in love with him.. Why can't I hide it as usual..

Oh God... Help me.. I can't be selfish.. One day, I'll have to leave him..

Leaving him in this condition will just make things worser.. I'll have to think of a way.. A way to make him hate me..

That way, he will not hurt so much when I'm gone..

Siwon pov

Okay, there's lube in the drawer, I have sprayed some perfumes, roses, chocolates, well we can have a good memory tonight..

I check myself in the mirror as I wait for him in the shower..

I think everything is perfect. I'm clean, my mouth smells good, I'm wearing a black v-neck shirt and a white jeans.. I think this should be enough..And here is the wine.. I sprayed some more perfumes at my body when the door suddenly opened..

Leeteuk walk out from the door wearing white silk pajama..And my hearts beats faster.. But he quickly walk towards the bed and laying down on the bed pulling the blanket..Maybe he is shy I thought.. I lay beside him..

I was about to embrace him but failed because he is already asleep..

But.. But..But.. The preparations.. Can't he see it? Maybe it is not enough? I thoughts that since we are lover we can spend some romantic time together..

Haisshhh.. This is such a waste..

The next morning, when I wake up he's already gone..

He doesn't even give me a good morning kiss... Then I went to the kitchen with a hope that I can see him there.. I saw him preparing the breakfast but when I called him, he ignore me.. I walked towards him,but he walk away from me....

I thought that he was shy or something but until the end of the day, he avoid me.. Just you wait for tonight...

Leeteuk pov

​What am I doing? Thats your plan Teukie? How stupid of you.... Avoid him? Until when? Maybe for now you should think where you will sleep tonight...

I sit on the bench facing the lake.. Sometimes. I just wish the time stop.. I'm tired.. I'm tired with all this.. Can't I just live like everyone else..

Must I worried about everything? In the first place, why must me? I want to be free..

I want to experience love life as well.. I never in love.. Sure I have but I was a trainee since I was still a teen..I works part time to fill my empty stomach.. Life wasn't easy for me..My father..He didn't even like me...  I never had a chance to date..And now when I can date someone that I like for a long time, I still can't have him.

I love him.. I do love Choi Siwon.. Yet, I'm just will end up hurting him.. I might suffer for now but he will suffer more than me when I'm gone.. It's better for me to ignore his feeling.. Although my heart aches for him..

I know that last night he prepares for me.. He had decorated the rooms with some roses... The room smell nice as well.. Even he smells nice as he wears the perfume that I give to him but I still love his own scene.. I saw the wine and chocolates that he prepare but I'm not worth it...

I'm not worth for anyone... 

I  wish I can live longer.. I wish I can being embrace by those big hand.. I wish I can have someone, to protect me.. To be there when I need him to be.. But I can't.. Right now, I can't.. I just can't...  I will never can..

"Yah, move a little bit.." I looked up to see that voice.. It was Heechul.. I smiled at him...

"What you doing here" I ask wearing a smile..

He wrapped an arm around me "It should be me who ask you.. What are you doing here? It's freezing cold here.. So I just thought it will be better if I bring  hot chocolates.." He gives me a cup of a hot chocolates..

"Where's yours?" I notice that he doesn't have any water with him..

"Let just say that I make that specially for you.. Since it is my first time doing it, you have to be honor to drink it first.. So take a sip already.." 

"You didn't taste it before?"

"Just drink it already!"

"Okay.." 

Heechul pov

I watched as Teukie drink the hot chocolates slowly like a child.. Both hands holding the cup.. His mouth.. Oh god.. Why does this man is so cute?

His adam apple moving... I want to that neck so badly... 

"Heechul ah, next time do it for me again..It's delicious.." 

"Really?" Of course it is delicious, it is made by the almighty Kim Heechul...

"You want to taste it?

No one pov

"Heechul ah.. Can I borrow your shoulder for a while..?" Teukie ask looking at Heechul..

"Of course you can, you pabo.. You don't even have to ask.." Heechul wrapped an arm around Teukie's waist as the blond rested his head on Heechul's shoulder..

"Thank you.."

"It's okay.. It not that your head is heavy.."

"Thank you for being there.."

"Hey, I'm always there for you.."

Without the two guys knowing, there are four pairs of eyes watching their movement..

"Hurts right?" 

"Kangin hyung! Why are you here?Since when?"

"Since you are here.. Or I should say before you are here.."

"Oh, what you doing?"

"Doing the same thing as you.. Watching the 'sweet' scene..."

"What? me?.. No I just wanna go to talk with Teukie hyung but I don't want to interfere Teukie and Chullie hyung"

"Whatever you say.. But It hurts so much right... How you wish to hold the fragile angel.. To cage him.. To make him yours..." Kangin smirk as he watched Siwon's eyes that watching the couple with jealousy..

"But what to do.. It is hard to make Teukie's yours since he let anyone touch him.. Just anyone.."

The last words make Siwon had his fist tighten..

I'm sorry, my english is worst.. I know this chapter but I need to finish this story asap... Thanks to all my reader.. I think there still more chapter to go.. Next time, I shouldn't be too greedy.. I'm in a mess..

Thanks!!