Chagaun barami bureo omyeon [When the cold wind brushes by]
Songgeute seuchineun geuneuggimi [That feeling that grazes your fingers,]
Negyeoteneul inneungeol [It's me always being by your side]

Sungmin was closing his eyes, shoulders bouncing up and down as he pressed the keys. He can see Kyuhyun singing this in his mind. In
front of many audiences, cheering for him. The thought of having Kyuhyun to sing all his songs in always an excitement. He'll finish
this song soon. He looked at the door when he heard an applause. He smiled.

"Umma!" he said as he saw Lee Umma standing in the doorway looking at him while clapping. Sungmin immediately push himself out of the
wooden bench and stood up to welcome his mom.

He was about to ran but he slipped down making Lee Umma shocked. Sungmin looked sharply at the bench and then smiled at her.

"Stupid chair." he said as he showed one of his foot stucked in one of the chair legs. Lee Umma shook her head.

"You're so clumsy." she said.

Sungmin wanted to stand up but immediately felt his legs numbing thus he just smiled at his mom as she walked towards him. He can't
let his mom know. Lee Umma reached him and kneel down to kiss him on his forehead. She knows why Sungmin isn't standing up yet. It's
not like Kyuhyun won't report to her. She has already talked to the younger as she knows what has been happening to Sungmin recently.
She can't pretend she doesn't care, but she needs to pretend that Sungmin just slipped down.

"Ready to see the doctor?" she asked.

Sungmin nodded. "But I'm hungry. Umma can you cook something for me?" he asked hoping his mom would turn her heel and move out of the
room before he could struggle to stand up.

"What do you want?"

"I want some nice Kimbap."

"Alright."

Lee Umma turned her heel and her smile disappear. It's quite stupid not to notice that Sungmin is still on the floor despite her coming
closer to him. He cannot stand up, and he wants her to leave so she won't see what will happen. Sungmin shooed her off so she won't
see him struggling to stand up. She looked down. Is her son really getting weak?

"Umma..."

She turned to Sungmin and saw him on his feet. "Let's cook together." he said as he quickly closed his music sheets and keep them in
one of the cabinets and close his piano before running towards his mom.

Sungmin immediately wrapped his arms around Lee Umma, like a little boy clinging to his mom. Lee Umma smiled and wrapped her arms
around his shoulder.

"I heard you shooed Kyuhyun out of your music room." she asked while walking.

"Well, he likes to disturb me."

Lee Umma chuckled. "If that's the case... you should shoo him out." Sungmin looked at her and they both giggled as they reached the
kitchen. His mom is the best. There's no other mom who can be compared to his mom. She understands his needs and she accepts him with
all that he is and even with him being with Kyuhyun.

**************************************************

They were at the hospital and the chemo session has finished. Lee Umma, Sungmin and Kyuhyun are waiting for the doctor to give them
some feedback about the cancer. Having Lee Umma by their side made the couple feel better. Her happy and strong will makes them think
that everything will be alright soon. Their hopes are high and they would really want to hear some good news. Kyuhyun looked at
Sungmin and gave him an assuring smile. A smile that says you won't fall down anymore and I'll be holding your hand and you will
hold mine the way we used do it.

The young lady nurse came in and eyed on the three with a smile. She stopped and looked at the patient with those battling eyes and
said...

"How are you doing Sungmin sshi?"

Kyuhyun raised his eyebrows when he heard the high-pitched overly sweet tone of her voice. He eyed on Sungmin smiling back sweetly.

"I guess I'm fine."

Why is Sungmin overly cute with that young girl? Kyuhyun is sighing, why is this guy such a chick magnet? This person is his!

"That's good to hear." the nurse said with an overly sweet smile before turning to Lee Umma. "Mrs. Lee, the doctor is ready to see
you."

He just ignored his thoughts and straightened up to accompany Lee Umma to the doctor's office.

"Can I come?" Sungmin asked, his voice energetic and in high-pitch. Lee Umma smiled at him and nodded.

***********************************************

The doctor looked at the three of them. Sungmin has already dressed up in his own clothes, ready to go home after the doctor's
report. Kyuhyun stood up and leaned against one of the wall inside the cozy doctor's office. Sungmin sat beside Lee Umma on one of the
visitor's chair.

"Dr. Park, how are the test?" Sungmin asked. He's hopeful that things will turn out better. The therapy would be able to slow down the
cancer until it has eventually stop. He's undergoing this slowing down thing for quite some time now and he's hopeful that the things
inside him are getting tired of increasing.

The doctor looked at the three of them without any reaction. Even doctors need to condition themselves when telling the news.

"It's not working anymore."

Sungmin's smile slowly disappear. What is not working anymore? that he knows the answer.

"The chemotherapy didn't do alot to slow down the increase of the cancer in your brain." the doctor looked at him with sympathy.
"You're in fourth stage, Sungmin."

The two youngsters were shocked to hear the doctor's verdict but Lee Umma just looked down. Calm and no reaction.

Sungmin breathe in from his mouth as tears come up from he doesn't know where. Does he really have to hear this? Of all time, why did
he choose to listen to the doctor's words now?

"H-how long... will I die soon?" he asked. It's the only thing he could ask for because they already said 'it's not working anymore.'
There's no more hope more him.

Kyuhyun looked at him. Die is officially a forbidden word for him. "Sungmin ah..." he called. Sungmin mustn't say that word. It's a
taboo. Sungmin won't die... not too soon. His tone is like stopping the older from saying it. He shouldn't think of it. There should
be another way.

"1...2 months" doctor nodded. "4 months at extent."

Sungmin closed his eyes disappointedly. So he is dying, in a matter of days or weeks, he is dying. These things doesn't make sense
anymore. Why are they still in the hospital? Even miracle-makers can't give him miracle anymore. He's going to die and it's going to
be very soon. They shouldn't waste time here. They should go home; he's hungry, he wants to eat his heart out. He'll have some of his
mom's ginseng chicken, it's his favourite and some blueberry cheese cake and probably a cup of dark chocolate ice cream. Kyuhyun
should go back to Seoul, its a waste of time being here, there's no future for him here. His should talk to his mom. He doesn't want
to be buried under the ground once he died. He'll be cremated. Half of his ashes will be with his dad, a quarter will be in the sea,
the other quarter should be kept in his music room. He needs to have a haircut, he wants to look good on his funeral photo. He
should get a new set of tux, grayish or dark blue would be good, and a nice black leather shoes to match it all.

"Min."

A soft whisper break his thoughts. He saw Kyuhyun, his hand on the older's cheek, drying the tears with his thumb. How long has he
been crying? The doctor is not there anymore. He looked at Kyuhyun, why is he still here? He should go now. He should catch the first
flight to Seoul and make the most out of his life instead of wasting his time wiping the tears of this man whose life is no less
than half a year. He looked at Kyuhyun for as long as he knows but he can't think of the young man now.

He turned his back on Kyuhyun and went out of the room quietly. He has a lot of planning to do for his funeral. What will he do with
his closet of clothes? He'll remember to give Yesung hyung his favourite sunglasses and Donghae his favourite checkered shirt. He'll
probably give Leeteuk hyung some of his compositions, he knows what to do with those. What should he give to Shindong hyung? Ah. He
can give him some congratulatory gift, he remembered Shindong telling him he'll get married as soon as they graduated. What else is
there to be done? What will he do with his piano, his collection of guitars? He doesn't want to give it away, but he can't keep it
with him as well. Hmm... He has some expensive picks, he'll have it auctioned and donate it to a children's organization. What else is
there to be done? He needs to think well.

Kyuhyun is losing Sungmin. The moment he didn't say anything and just turned his back...ignoring the younger's touch. He's losing
Sungmin. 4 months at most, his tears fell as Lee Umma followed her son. He's losing Sungmin. Kyuhyun fell on his knees, looked back
and saw the door closed. He's losing Sungmin. The older didn't even say anything to him. His small hope. Gone. Kyuhyun closed his
eyes and breathe out. He's alone in the doctor's office. It's a time for himself.

What will he do without Sungmin? What can he do to get his man back? He's losing him. A loud sob, a terrible heartache. His hands on
his chest. Another sob and a sniff to hold all the pain back. He can't hold it back. One more sob and sniff, he crumpled his shirt as
his heart seemed to want to pour everything out. His man is dying, but right now, even with him breathing he can't get a grip of
Sungmin.

************************************************
They were all quiet in the car, with Kyuhyun looking at the older through the rearview mirror. Sungmin looking outside still in his
deep thought. Lee Umma in the opposite side. What is she thinking about? She's been quiet since they heard the earth shaking, heart
breaking, grip losing news.

Kyuhyun mentally nodded. Right, Umma is thinking of how she and Kyuhyun can cheer her son up. This is Lee Umma, the strongest woman
on earth. Kyuhyun and Sungmin's source of strength. After this trip, Kyuhyun is sure to have some words of wisdom from the older
woman he treats as his own mom. He'll be stronger again because of his unofficial mother-in-law, Sungmin will try to be a bit
cheerful with her around. Yes, they just need to go home for now.

He can't wait to hear Lee Umma's blantness about how their relationship goes, or what they did that noisy night or whatever. Lee Umma
is probably thinking how to lighten up the mood.

************************************************

When arrived home, Sungmin immediately went out of the car and didn't wait for the rest. His lips are still sealed, zipped together
and doesn't want to speak. He didn't even bother to close the door of the car and just walked straight in. Kyuhyun tried catching
him up while Lee Umma, surprisingly didn't do anything and just followed Sungmin with a sight.

"Sungmin ah..." Kyuhyun said as he hold on to Sungmin's hand, stopping the older from walking. He needs to get a grip of his man, he
wouldn't want to lose him. Sungmin turned to him and looked at their linked hands and then to the younger's eyes.

Smile. At least smile and pretend that you're fine, and then I'll do my best to make you feel better. Sungmin looked away sharply,
took his hand away from Kyuhyun's and continuously walked away. He's losing Sungmin. He really is. He can't see himself in those
doe eyes. His tears once again started coming up, why can't he get a grip of this man? His breathing struggles as he tried keeping his
sobs to himself. His hands shaken, he seemed lost. He's losing Sungmin.

Hold on, Cho. Not this time. You won't lose him. At least not his love.

*Author's note: Apologies for updating wrongly last night >.<
Author didn't see it. *kicking my head* Can I explain first?
hahahaha...oh well. just think of me as clumsy. yeah but
thanks for telling me. I really did not check it last night because
i immediately log out after I updated because one of my friends
jumped on the sofa beside me and I don't really
share my stories with my friends in the house hahaha. so yeah,

I'm quite stressed today. This is supposedly a long chap but
i've decided to cut it for tonight. I like Sungmin's thoughts when
he heard what the doctor say.

You promised to stay with me until the end, right? hihi, you
might need 2 more boxes of tissues for the next chapters. :)

Have a good night...err morning? whatever~ ^^