Room: 231
Patient's name: Lee Sungmin

Kyuhyun looked up to see the sign board. Cancer ward.  He was about to push the slide door but before he could open it...

"Kyuhyun ah..."

He turned to the side and saw Leeteuk beside him. Kyuhyun's head tilted a bit and wondered why even Leeteuk is here.

"Is this the person we both know?" he asked in a serious tone, slowly letting all the things that has been said and heard sink in
his clouded brain.

With that question, Leeteuk have guessed that Kyuhyun is still oblivious about the whole cancer thing. He sighed deeply, shall he
bear the news? He thinks Kyuhyun deserves the truth but he shouldn't be the one to tell it. But seeing Kyuhyun as if he's waiting
for Leeteuk to say 'no, why the hell would you think so?' He thought he should confirm that yes it is Sungmin. The Sungmin they
both know.

"I'm afraid so, yes."

Kyuhyun peeped through the rectangular glass and saw Sungmin with some needles punctured in his skin. He was pale, even much pale when
he fainted the last time. Looking at him now, he finally realised that Sungmin has lost a lot of weight from the time he first
introduced himself to the older. Although weak and looking pale, Sungmin's smile is brightening the whole of the sickly room,
with Donghae and his lover chatting with him completely unaware of what is happening outside.

He sighed and realised that Sungmin's words are pretty much real, damn real that they really can't be together for a lifetime. His
eyes blinked more than a hundred times as he tried to calm his breathing and to keep the tears in place. He turned to Leeteuk.

"How long have you known about this?" Kyuhyun asked.

"Shortly before you knowing it." the young man sighed and looked at Sungmin through the window again. How long exactly has he been
hiding this? How long has he been this sick? He looked down and can't find himself to stand seeing his lover this sickly in a
hospital bed at the ing cancer ward.
 
"Don't tell him I came."

Kyuhyun slowly walked away from the door and went out of the hospital. Sungmin really has cancer, he really is dying. Kyuhyun's
eyes stared blankly forward as he walks his way out. How long has Sungmin been hiding this from him? Was it before he broke up
with the younger? That was what he said after all. Was it when he passed out after their first break up? It was the first time
since knowing him. He was probably diagnosed at the time? But he remembered seeing Sungmin closing his eyes outside the practice
room before the showcase, was that it? There are so many time chances, how long exactly does he had it?

Kyuhyun can't seem to find answers all by himself, and now knowing where the older is, he went back to the hospital few days after,
something must be really wrong; brain cancer and the truth, when he had it, break up; they are all twisted and he needs to be
cleared. He saw the older sitting outside in front of a pond of the hospital, thinking deeply. What is he thinking about? Sungmin
is wearing a mint green hospital gown, a stainless steel wheeled thing kind of pole with liquid medicine hanging onto it connected
by a tube and a needle punctured on his right hand. Dextrose holder.

"Is it really true?"

Sungmin turned his back and saw Kyuhyun behind him. From the time he broke up with this man for the second time, he has decided
not to see him anymore, he knows he would weaken more if he sees the young man's gaze on him, figuratively that is. He wouldn't
want Kyuhyun to see this sickly, pale side of him. He did say he has a brain cancer, did
the young man not believe him? He saw dark circles around Kyuhyun's eyes, has he been bothered by their break up that he cannot
sleep properly? He seemed to lose weight as well, It's just a week after they've broken up. What's the matter with him?

He straightened up and showed no reaction, he has confessed the truth to Kyuhyun when they broke up but now, in this cursed, lifeless
place, Sungmin and his dextrose together in front of Kyuhyun, how else can he take his words back? He just nodded his head.

"Oh." he said acknowledging the question. Looking up but eyes not meeting the younger's eyes and shortly pressing his lips together.

Kyuhyun looked at Sungmin from head to toe. His beautiful face has turn pale and has been a lot thinner, the tube connected to
him seemed painful and the medicine droppings seemed to determine how much longer Sungmin can live. He sighed bitterly. He
slightly bit his lips as a small sob escaped. Slight water warns around his eyes. This can't be it but what else can he do? Sungmin
looked away as he feels like he'll be crying soon, he doesn't want Kyuhyun to leave, but he wouldn't be on his knees just to
let him stay. He knows this will happen eventually, and he made it happen when he confessed the real situation to the younger. He doesn't want
to let go of Kyuhyun, but he doesn't want to drag him to this kind of life as well. He made this choice when he told Kyuhyun that he is sick.

"You're right, we really have to end this." Kyuhyun said, eyebrows are creased and looked away right after he said those word. Sungmin showed no reaction but he looked down.

He has died the moment he broke up with the young man, and he has died again now when he heard what Kyuhyun has to say, but he
wouldn't show it. He wouldn't want Kyuhyun to deal with this issues with him. He'll set Kyuhyun free, he's young and has a bright
future ahead of him. Kim Heechul of SME even gave him a card and is offering him a contract. As for him, nothing awaits him but
his hospital bed and probably some ceremonies called death.

"I know." he whispered and meet Kyuhyun's eyes shortly before standing up. "I'll be fine." he turned his back on the young man and started
walking, dragging the wheeled dextrose holder with him. His eyebrows crossed for a while before breathing hard. One more step and
his eyes burned with tears coming out and rolling down his cheeks freely. He looked up once more and tried to breathe in. The thought of
him ending it up with Kyuhyun kills him but the thought of Kyuhyun acknowledging everything kills him even more. Exactly how many
times is he going to die? His heart is in pain, its even more painful than that pain he feels during chemotherapy. It's more
painful than the headaches that cause him to faint everytime. Letting go of Kyuhyun is more painful than dying itself. Tears fell
endlessly as he cried in silence. This time, it really is the end between the two of them.

Kyuhyun watched as Sungmin walks away from him. The lonely back of the person he loves the most slowly disappearing, his tears
fall down as well. He can't get back on his words. He's been alone for along time that when Sungmin came and swept him off his
feet he knows he wants to stay with him for forever. But Sungmin doesn't have forever, it's painful now but if he stays longer it
will be more painful later. Huh, can't Sungmin just be a regular person who can stay with him for the rest of his life? Because
it's like this, he's not confident to take him. No matter how much feelings he harbours. I'm sorry, Sungmin ah.

He was about to walk away when he saw Lee Umma behind him. "So you've find out." she said. Kyuhyun immediately wipe his tears and
bow to the old woman. He felt the warm eyes of Sungmin's mother on him. He felt crying even more. In the short time he has known
Lee Umma, it felt like meeting his mom once again, he wished to hug the old woman and weep on her shoulders but it will build a strong
connection even more. How can he let go of Sungmin if he will attach himself to the older's mother?
He can't, if he really wants to end this, he can't stay and enjoy Lee Umma's motherly presence around him as well.

Lee Umma smiled at him. "Seeing your reaction, I can't blame you if you don't want to stay with him."

"I'm sorry."

Kyuhyun looked down, why does Lee Umma understand his situation? How could she understand Kyuhyun's situation? Shouldn't she be
looking down at him now as he has no balls to stay with her sickly son? But Lee Umma showed him a warming smile, making him less
guilty of his decision. "Don't say sorry for this. He knows it'll happen eventually. But just so you know, he didn't tell you
earlier because he hopes to stay with you longer."

***************************************************

Lee Umma went to Sungmin's room once Kyuhyun left. It was dark and Sungmin seemed to be under his blanket asleep. His breathing
is soundless but the curve of his blanket rises up and down heavily. The old woman chuckled
gently. If it is someone else, they will think he is just sleeping, but she is Sungmin's mother and she knows better than anybody
else. Sungmin has trained himself to cry without any sound since he was young. And as much as he can fool everybody, Lee Umma has
been the only one to know whether or not he is indeed crying.

She sat beside her son's bed and Sungmin immediately shift his head on his mother's lap. He started sobbing with sound when he felt
Lee Umma's hand patting him. "Umma, it's not easy for you, isn't it?" he cried. Why can't he be a normal person? Why does it have
to be him? From his dad who died earlier to him who is about to suffer the same fate, he thought his mom's life is the hardest
among all. The poor old woman staying marrying a sickly man and ended up having a sickly son. How bad could that be?

"I've carried you inside me for nine months and watch you grow for 25 years..." she shook her head. "It's never easy."
She has to be honest. She has made herself strong from the time her husband widowed her and now Sungmin has the same fate as his
father, what can be easy?

"Sungmin ah... give him some time, it's not easy accepting this." Lee Umma knows that her son is just diverting the topic to her
so that she won't question why he is really crying. But she won't ignore the fact that she can relate to Kyuhyun's situation, she
has been on that exact path choosing whether to continue or to stop, she knows what to say to Sungmin.

Sungmin straightened up and even if it is dark, he can feel the warmth of his mother's gaze and he knows he felt better because
she is beside him. "Was it easy when you found out about dad?"

Lee Umma chuckled. "I was horrified and immediately thought of running away. But you're dad immediately brought out divorce papers,
saying I'll have you under my custody and that he'll provide me more than enough money to take care of you and myself." she smiled and
shook her head. "That crazy bastard."

Sungmin felt a little more better hearing the story of his mom and dad, especially with his mom cursing his dad and still smiling. He tightened
his hold on his mom and cuddled his head on her waist.

"I wanted to sign the papers but I can't get myself to do it. He's the man for me, and I know I wouldn't give him up for anything
in the world. Even if it means I will have to raise you up and take care of him at the same time." Sungmin sat up and held his
mom tightly.

"Umma, I love you."

Lee Umma patted her son's back and whispered. "Make your heart strong, Sungmin ah. Even if he doesn't come back, make sure you'll
fight this thing bravely." Sungmin hugged his mom much tighter, he felt better now although at the back of his mind he can still
hear Kyuhyun's words earlier. 'We really need to end this.' His saddened dark eyes, and the seemingly building up tears around it. He felt
the same stab a while ago just recalling this.

"You'll be home tomorrow, get some rest."

Sungmin nodded and lay back down on the bed. Lee Umma watched him in the dark as he finally sighed deeply and fall into a hopefully,
deep sleep.

*Author's note: Real update! Finally.
Lee Umma is the cutest mom! I like the way the
real life Lee Umma giggles in Star life.^^

Comments and Subscriptions are appreciated~!^^

Offtopic: I went to the tumblr tag for kyumin and saw a blog where
they are rating kyumin fanfics. 3 of my fanfics are already there!
*blushing* I don't know who she/ they is/are but I'm quite thankful
for everyone for loving my works. :) Seriously, they recognised it because
you all have been reading it. Thanks guys!
Oh, and I think I haven't acknowledged heekitty for doing the wonderful
video for FTR. She nailed it! http://youtu.be/bW3v_H2mzeY
I was not expecting anything when she told me she has finished the video
but I was sniffing and sobbing silently at the corner while watching it.

Really, I appreciate everyone's effort; the posters, the video, comments
recommendations and those silent readers; get out of your shells come on! ^^
 

Have a good night everyone! err... hope you're not weeping over this chapter 
because there's more to come. >:D