: Donghee

Heemin, where are you?! I knew that you and Sam went shopping but it’s past dinner and none of you pick up your phones. Call me back. Now.

I bit my lip and scratched my neck. After going to the bathroom I’d went to check my phone in the corridor and this is what I’d received. Donghee always worried more about me than he should, especially when I didn’t answer his calls. He had that weird idea that I would try to kill myself or something stupid. Even when I was with other people.

It wasn’t like I’d never played with the thought. Back when my parents died in the accident I couldn’t find a reason for living and took too many anti-depressing pills. I didn’t die of them though but after that Donghee and his family kept an extra eye on me. I hadn’t tried on anything since but Donghee never really believed me.

I dialed his number and took the phone to my ear. He answered right away.

“Heemin?! Heemin, where are you?” he asked. I could hear some of the ohers try to calm him down in the background. I guess he just had a flip…

“Calm down Oppa… I’m with Sam,” I said, “2PM’s dorm…”

“You’re… 2PM you said?” he sounded relieved but still concerned, “are you okay?” I rolled my eyes and smiled a bit.

“Oppa, I’m fine. Sam wanted to see Junsu-ssi again and asked me to come. Nothing has happened and nothing will. I’m okay.” I swear, I overuse that sentence. It went silent for some seconds and then…

“Can I talk to Sam?” I sighed.

“You really don’t believe me, do you? Oppa, I haven’t done anything to harm myself in four years! Have a bit trust in me, please?” Didn’t help.

“Just let me talk to Sam. I have to ask her something,” he said. I rolled my eyes.

“Really Oppa?” he had tried that one before, “remember last time? You got to talk to my roommate and none of you understood each other. Chaos!” I heard him snort.

“I understand Sam. She speaks Korean. Now, let me-”

“Heemin ah? What is taking you so long?” Sam stood in the door and looked at me, “who are you talking to?” she asked when she saw me stand with my phone. I mouthed ‘two seconds’ to her and ignored my cousin talking.

“Oppa, I’ll hang up. Let’s talk later, neh?” Without him answering, I hung up.

You might think now that I was acting either weird or disrespectful, but I really aren’t in mood for that talk right now. I’m too nervous with so many new faces around me who might hear about that past to, let anyone talk about it right now.

“Who was it?” Sam asked curious as I put the phone back in my pocket. I send her a little smile.

“Donghee… he wanted to know where we are,” I said, “since none of us picked up he were a bit… but it’s fine now~”

Junsu decided to drive us home that night. He didn’t want us to take public transport after the sunset plus, I think he just wanted as much time with his girlfriend as possible, even though I was there. When he stopped in front of the dorm I opened my dorm immediately to give those two a minute.

“It was nice to meet you Junsu-ssi,” I said before I stepped out, “and thanks for driving me home!” He turned his head against me and sent me a smile.

“It was nice meeting you too. Let’s hang out again sometime soon?” I nodded and smiled a bit before I looked at Sam.

“I’ll just go up,” I said and saw she send me a smile back.

“Neh… I’ll be there soon!” I nodded and got out. The weather tonight was actually really nice tonight but I hurried inside anyways, past a grumpy security-guard an to the elevator. The door to it got stopped before it closed though and Donghae stepped in with Yesung. I bowed to them.

“Annyeonghaseyo,” I said and kept looking at my shoes. It was first time I met them without my cousin being near – if we don’t count the thunder last night. But I wasn’t myself then.

“Heemin, hey. Where is Sammie?” Yesung asked with a happy voice, “weren’t you two together today?” The door closed again and the elevator started going up.

“She’s saying goodbye to Junsu-ssi,” I said and tried to send him a smile, I think it turned out to some helpless grimace though.

“You went to 2PM?” Donghae asked, “did they treat you well?” I nodded.

“N-neh… they did,” I said, “we had fun…” The elevator stopped at 5^th floor but nobody waited outside the door. Yesung just closed the door again and the elevator kept going up.

“Do you wanna come with in or are you going home?” Donghae asked as it stopped in 11^th floor where they seemed to be hanging today. I bowed my head.

“Thanks, but I’m tired… maybe some other time,” I said and this time I think I mastered to give him a smile. He nodded and sent me one back.

“I’ll keep you up on that,” he said as the elevator stopped. I bit my lip and nodded as he and Yesung got out.

“Tell Donghee that I seem okay!” I fast said as the door went in, hoping that at least one of them heard.

The next week went with doing things between everything and nothing. We painted Sam’s room one day, the next Super Junior had a comeback so we went to cheer for them and after that followed them on every single schedule. Which was damn tiring but we had nothing else to do. 2PM had some concert in Japan so it wasn’t like I could go with Sam when she wanted to visit Junsu either.

I got to know Sam very good though. She kept her promise with me being non-awkward with her after two days and after that she seemed to try hard to make me non-awkward with the Super Junior members too. Without much luck though. They were waaaaay to busy and even though we were with them most of the time, it was just short comments or Sam who talked to them.

It was Friday and we were at Music Bank for rehearsals. 2NE1 were rehearsing and Super Junior were stretching and getting their mics on.

“You seriously need a hobby.” Heechul came to me with a bottle of water and one of his smirks on his face. I smiled a bit and tried to look for Sam without making it too obvious. He chuckled.

“Sam went to the bathroom,” he said, “she told me to talk to you. She is worried about you being all alone when she is not here and whatnot,” he rolled my eyes and I bit my lip. So she openly asked her brother to do this? Should I be embarrassed? Probably. Since I still didn’t say anything he asked again.

“What did you do when you had time of in the States?” he asked, actually interested in what I was about to say. That freaked me out a bit… I’d always seen him as this straight forward ‘I-don’t-care’ guy, who just minded his own business.

“I… sang and danced…” I said, looking down and playing with my hands on my lap. They were started getting sweaty.

“With friends?” he asked, “or alone?”

“Neh… friends… we practiced all types of genres to get better,” I said, “both in singing and dancing…” Really, all types. I’d even challenged ballet once and another time tried rapping. Even opera had been challenged.

I don’t say that I was good at everything, but it was fun trying.

“Why don’t you try out as a trainee at a company? With your potential… after what Shindong says, you’re good.” I looked a bit at him. Was that a compliment?

“I don’t know yet. I wanna find myself first,” I said, “coming back to Korea is a bit… overwhelming after all these years so… I need some time to think first and then I’ll see what the future brings me…”

“Super Junior, you’re on in a two minutes! Get ready!” a staff member stood in the middle of everything and yelled in all directions. Heechul looked at him.

“That would be my cue,” then he looked back at me with that smirk again, “you still need a hobby.” And with that as his last words, he left me and went to s.

I looked down and let out a chuckle.

“We’re going to SM now. Do you two wanna come?” Leeteuk looked at Sam and me after Super Junior came back with today’s trophy. Sam looked at me and I looked at her. She smiled.

“You decide. If you don’t want to we can go shopping or go home instead,” she said. I shook my head. I really wanted to see the inside of the building, even though it does sound a bit weird. But really, it’s one of the biggest companies out there.

“I… I wanna go,” I said with a tiny smile. She chuckled and nodded.

“To SM it is!”

Super Junior went there to practice even more, even though they already had their comeback. As soon as their manager left though, Eunhyuk went to me with a smirk.

“Remember that you promised me something when you just came here?” he asked. I hesitated and tried to act like I tried to remember. He rolled his eyes.

“You promised to dance! You decide if we shall battle or you’ll just dance without me,” he smiled and I looked at Donghee. He smiled too.

“I… just alone,” I said then and smiled a bit too. Lucky for me, I didn’t wear stilettos, nor ballerinas and my clothes were good to move in too. It was something I took with me from Julliard, the way to dress in daily life. It was also comfortable so I didn’t even think of changing style, even though I could see on Sam she wanted me to dress a bit more girly sometimes.

“Any special song?” Donghee asked as he went to the stereo. I hesitated.

“Do you… which genre do you want it to be?” I asked. The members looked at me, some a bit impressed, making me blush and look down.

“Which genre do you want?” my cousin asked me. I hesitated.

“Chose a random song and then must do freestyle?” Eunhyuk suggested. I looked at Donghee and nodded.

“Do… do that,” I said. He smiled and did so.

Hello Michael Jackson and hello Black or White.

And hello old favorite song, with self-made dance steps.

You see, this song was me and my two best friends favorite song to dance to. Those two were black, twins actually, both on Julliard in mostly the same classes as me. We were also roommates with a fourth girl, but she was a classic violinist and didn’t talk much to others. Less than me.

So, the song has this long introduction and I used the time on getting ready mentally. Like, I change when I dance. I’m much more confident and not scared to look anybody in the eyes. That meant, that I also freely took a ‘Michael Jackson’-hat from the floor – think it was Eunhyuk’s – and came in position. Time to show them what I got.

…

Apparently I either did well or looked like an idiot. I will like to believe I did well though the silence was heavy. I looked carefully at my cousin who sat with a wide smile.

“Daebak Heemin, daebak!” he gave me thumbs up and I smiled back, relaxing now.

“That was some awesome choeagraphy,” Eunhyuk said surprised after that, “have you made it?” I looked at him and nodded.

“Mmh… with… with two friends,” I said and again smiled at him.

A/N: You can thanks AFF for a longer update, I swear.
If it wasn’t because it decided to let me stay out of my account, I would have updated between Heechul and Leeteuk xD
…If you know what I mean :P
So, Faroe Islands is calling now~ Thursday morning and I’ll leave again.
I’ll appreciate some comments – maybe I’ll be able to update while I’m gone ;)
//Miji96