#10
Things I'm Not Supposed To Do
The 10th Thing I Shouldn't Do: Losing Control
Minho POV
I walked in slowly, still trying to wrap my head around what might've happened to make Minhee avoid Kakeru like she is. Did he...do something? No, she would've told me...right? ...right?!
I quickly sat down across from Minhee and a smile graced her face when she saw me. I love that feeling, knowing that she smiled just for me; because of me. But her smile suddenly turned into a pout, "you're late!"
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be. Onew-hyung needed my help with something before I left."
"Oh, well...in that case, I can forgive you."
"In that case, huh? What's that supposed to mean?"
"Duh, it's Onew! I can't be mad at anything having to do with him."
"But you can be mad at me?"
"Yes!" she stuck her tongue out at me. "Onew may be my favorite member but you're my best friend."
'Oww...' I nodded, "yeah, I'm your best friend."
She furrowed her eyebrows up. "Is something wrong? No, wait, don't answer that. I know something's wrong. What is it?"
"I'm not your only best friend, right?"
"Huh? Why are you asking that?"
"Just answer the question."
I knew she was taken back. Her eyes had widened and she looked away. "Well, of course there's my friends in America and then in Japan. I have friends here too."
"And the other ones here are?"
Minhee sighed, "what is the point of this?"
"Can you just go along with this and let me ask. Just do this for me. Because I'm asking you to."
"Okay...well here there's my members and Kakeru."
"How close are you to Kakeru?"
She said something was wrong with me but once she said Kakeru there was a flash of emotion in her eyes, just momentarily. Not many people notice that about Minhee but I do. I recognize it every time, not that it happens very often and it is for that very reason that I'm worried.
"We're really close..."
"Closer than us?"
"..."
"Minhee, answer me."
"...yeah, closer than we are."
I know it seems arrogant but I didn't expect her to say that...I thought her answer would be different...or maybe I just wanted to hear a different answer.
"But you're not talking to him right now?"
Minhee suddenly looked back up at me. "How do you know that?"
"I just know." She tried to hide that she rolled her eyes but I caught it at the last second. "Why aren't you talking to him? If you two are closer, why are you spending so much time with me and not even talking to him? What does that mean? I don't understand you."
She didn't say anything at first but kept biting her lip in anger and shaking her head. Then, she finally got up and walked out of the cafe. "Don't run away from me!" I ran after her, saying. "You run away from whatever it is you have going on with Kakeru and you're going to run away from me now too?"
I grabbed her arm to stop her and she abruptly turned around to push me away but my grip was too tight so she was just pounding my chest. "Stop it! Just stop already! You don't know anything about me and Kakeru!"
"And whose fault is that? You didn't tell me anything about him!"
"I did! I tried all the time. You're the one who didn't want to hear it! I couldn't stand the face you kept making so I stopped talking about him with you."
"I made a face?" In the midst of my confusion, Minhee threw my hand off and got loose. "Ya!"
"I don't wanna talk about this. If you can understand that, then I won't leave but if you can't..."
"Then what? You won't talk to me anymore?"
"For the time being, yeah, I won't."
I didn't know what to say to that...her answer shocked me again. I could only stand there as she walked away.
Minhee POV
"Stupid! Frog! Pabo!" I yelled as I hit the punching dummy. "Why! Do! You! Have! To! Bring! Up! Such! A! Thing?!"
Yumi-eonni stood behind the dummy, holding it still and said, "it's not as if he was wrong to. What if he was merely curious? I'm sure he's just afraid you might do the same to him, which you technically did."
"Yeah, but I told him to stop. If I tell him to stop, he should stop right?"
"Ya, Minhee-ya, you know Minho the best out of all of us. You should know why he didn't stop asking."
"But I don't," I panted and took my gloves off. "Sometimes he confuses me to no end."
"Then I'll tell you why I think he didn't stop. He's too afraid Minhee."
"Afraid? Afraid of what?"
"Of losing you, pabo. Didn't you say that you and Kakeru are closer than you two are?"
"Yeah...because it's true."
"But that's not the point. If you're closer to Kakeru and not talking to him now, then who's to say that you won't do something worse to Minho since you aren't as close?"
"We're not as close because I like Minho!"
"He doesn't know that."
"Well, he's stupid."
"You yelled that earlier," Yumi laughed.
I joined her in her laughter. "Yeah, I did."
"So, are you ready to go back to the dorm yet? You've been here for almost three hours already!"
"Yeah, I guess I should stop huh? Heh..."
"Your body is going to be so sore tomorrow and I'm going to tell everyone that it's your karma kicking in."
"Eonni!"
"It is. You shouldn't have pushed yourself. Who told you to be like Minho when you're angry and work out instead of listening to music like you normally do?"
"Damn, you're right...it is like Minho."
"You're such a cute lovesick puppy~"
"Ya, don't tease me!"
"But you are!"
"Says the one that's always disgustingly cheesy on the phone with her boyfriend..."
"Aww, the puppy is jealous."
"Of what? Stop calling me a puppy!"
"I think someone's being too emotional. Looks like it's time to get neutered." She walked away with an evil grin on her face and she started texting somebody, most likely her boyfriend or the members. Wait, if it's the members...
"Eonni, what do you mean by neutered?! Huh?!"
Later that night after dinner, I was on my laptop looking up random things and webcaming with one of my best friends in America. This one, Minho actually knows about so he can't get offended over this one too right?
"I love how dramatic your life got after moving to Korea."
"I know right?" I told her. "My life is turning into a Korean drama as we speak."
"So just to be clear, you're not talking to either guy?"
"Yeah but the reasons are very different."
"Oh, I know. Trust me, I know."
"And that's why I love you," I laughed. "I'm just...this is all so ridiculous you know?"
"It is and I would tell you to just walk away from it all but I know you're not."
"I can't."
"I know. What are you going to do then?"
"I don't know. I really have no clue what to do."
"I can't believe that Kakeru actually-" she paused when there was a knock at my door.
"Who is it?" I asked. Oh whatever. "Door's open..."
"Minhee..."
"Hey I recognize him!" My friend yelled and I laughed at her. "He was driving the car in 'Hello.' "
"Yeah, the only non-2NE1 K-pop song you know."
"I resent that. I know 'Lucifer' too, thank you very much. I also know that weird 'Breathe' one. Anyway, I'll let you go since you have company."
"Alright then, bye. I'll call you later."
"Okay then. Bye." I turned to face him. "So what do you want?" I know it sounded mean but he just let me walk away earlier. Not even a word came out of his mouth. What do I say after that?
He didn't answer me anyway. I guess Minho didn't know what to say either. Instead, he just hugged me but it didn't feel the same as before...his hugs normally made me feel safe, protected, and cared for.
This time, it feels like I'm supposed to protect him somehow. I wrapped my arms around him and patted his back. He kept nestling his head into my shoulder so much that it felt like he was digging into my shoulder but I ignored it. His tight grip which would've felt smothering from anyone else just felt like a call for help.
"I'm sorry," he finally whispered in my ear after what seemed like a long time.
"It's okay...what's wrong?"
"I just don't like this feeling."
"What feeling?" He sighed. "I don't know how to say it without sounding like a fool."
"I say things all the time seriously but sound like a fool so it's okay. Ah, there it is..."
"Huh?"
Minho POV
"A smile. You smiled! Minho, you always look so much better when you smile."
I pulled away and laughed, "You know, you always make me forget everything I want to say."
Like that I'm so jealous I could explode; I'm so afraid of losing you that I want to take you with me and run away somewhere far away; I'm so insecure that I want Kakeru to go back to Japan. I can't say any of that though...I can't even tell you I love you.
"As long as you don't forget the important things!"
"No, I never forget those." I don't forget you, right? After all, I couldn't control myself and came rushing over here to you. I couldn't control myself enough to talk and just embraced you. Even now, I can't control myself from just holding you here in my arms.
"Good...hey...wanna sit on the roof?"
"What?!"
"It's fun~ join me."
"The roof is dangerous. What is someone as clumsy as you doing up there?"
"Looking at the stars duh!"
I know I should've said no and tried to convince her to change her mind but it's hard saying no to her and even harder to get her to change her mind.
We stayed out there for a few hours before Minhee got really tired and fell asleep there. I wanted to move her but it would be really dangerous to do so there. I took off my jacket and put it over us like a blanket before lifting her head to place my arm under her neck like a pillow.
Brushing the hair off her face, I smiled. "You're such a danger to my health you know that?" She suddenly hugged me, moving closer to me and I took in a sharp breath. "Don't make me lose control even more..."
I caressed the side of her face and kissed her cheek. I traced my fingers over her lips and whispered, "next time, you might make me lose control enough to kiss your lips." I sighed again and pulled the jacket more over her. "Good night Minhee..."
A/N: It has been a long time!!! Sorry T.T I hope this update will make it up to you guys...although I know it should be more to make it up >_< I feel like Minho's much sweeter than usual haha XD doesn't seem like himself~ but it was nice to write. Very cheesy~ ^^
Cheesy is nice every once in a while though right? And it has been a long while so it should be fine~ Sorry again >_< I shall not give excuses! Hopefully I shall update more often now that it is summer (where I am anyway hehe)! :D Enjoy the update and thanks for staying subscribed~
P.S. That picture ah~ Minho's iness makes me lose control XD kekeke
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