Weeks passed. I kept away from Nu’est. When I saw them in the corridor I waved to them and continued walking with HyeSu. I had dance class and lots of routines to learn, so I was kind of too busy anyway.

But that wasn’t why I kept away.

Of course it wasn’t.

I felt too confused over my feelings for JR and Ren. I figured it’d be better if I distanced myself from them rather then hurting anyone.

 I still hadn’t received a phone call from my Mother.

Everything was going okay, I could deal without JR and Ren. They didn’t determine how I acted.

Until...

One day in our room, HyeSu suddenly cried.

“I can’t take this anymore Minjae unnie!”

I looked up alarmed.

“Take what?”

“You!” She said.

My heart sank so fast. She doesn’t want to be friends with me. She hates what I did to Ren, I know it.

“What about me?” I said quietly.

HyeSu came over and knelt in front of me, taking her hands in mine. Her eyes were wide and sincere.

“Listen Minjae,” She began. “Don’t take this the wrong way. I know I shouldn’t interfere in your business but this is ridiculous. I can tell your upset.”

“Upset?” I said surprised. She nodded.

“Don’t try and hide it, I know you better then you think. You need to sort this out.”

“Sort what out.”

“Ren and JR!” HyeSu cried. “I was talking to Baekho and he says they’re acting exactly how you are.”

“And how am I acting.” I said stiffly, even though I gave an inward sigh of relief. She still wanted to be friends.

“Well you’re pretending everything is okay when deep down I can see you’re just tearing yourself up.” She said softly. “You either need to give yourself a break and let them go or go and sort it out.” She tucked a strand of brown hair behind my ear. “It’s your choice.”

I felt tears marching up to my eyelids. “What would you do HyeSu?” I asked. Her face softened and she gave me a hug.

“I’d pick.” She said simply.

“But I can’t!” I said desperately. “We’ve all only just met...it’s not right, and I don’t want to hurt anybody....what if I’ve got it all wrong anyway!”

“Do you honestly think you’ve got it all wrong?” Said HyeSu.

I shook my head, twisting my hands.

“I can’t pick HyeSu.” I whispered. “I just can’t.”

HyeSu drew back and looked at me. She took a deep breath.

“Minjae unnie.” She said.

“Yes HyeSu donsaeng?” I mumbled.

“Nu’est.” She replied suddenly.

“What?” I frowned, puzzled.

“When I said Nu’est just then, who did you think of first.”

My eyes widened and I put my head into my hands.

“Who was it Minjae. JR or Ren? Whose name did you think of.” HyeSu said quietly.

I shook my head, mute.

HyeSu rested her hands on my shoulder and lifted my chin.

“Whoever it was you thought of, go and talk to them now. Just knock on their door and ask to see them.”

I began to shake my head and protest but HyeSu interrupted.

“You can’t just run away from this Minjae. You can do this silly unnie.” Her eyes were warm and friendly.

“I love you HyeSu.” I said genuinely. “You’re the most amazing friend I’ve ever had.”

“Aw I love you to Minjae.” She patted my back. “And I’m the most amazing friend you’re going to ever have!”

I rolled my eyes and laughed.

“Go on Minjae.” She said pulling me to my feet. She opened our room door. “Get it over with, you’ll feel better after.”

I took a big deep breath and walked out into the corridor.

“Tell me everything after.” HyeSu called.

I nodded and smiled.

“Of course I will.”

As I walked to Room 8, each footstep matched the beat of my heat. My palms were sweaty, my breathing un-even. But HyeSu was right. I had to confront this.

I paused at their door.

I looked at my watch.

2pm

Don’t delay Minjae.

Who was it Minjae. JR or Ren? Who’s name did you think of first.

I knocked on the door.