I Can't

Almost three months passed. Wu Fan and I continued meeting and we would occasionally go out on dates.

We would go to the movies, out for dinner and sometimes we would just hang out in the park.

We were lucky enough to not be discovered by fans.

It was now Febuary, and that’s when I realized it, I was dating a celebrity.

I sat in my couch at home thinking about Wu Fan.

He’s a celebrity, he’s famous.

I mean, I’m just a regular girl, why would he date me?

And what if his company found out about us?

What if the press would find out?

I shook my head and looked up in the ceiling.

What about when he goes to China?

What am I supposed to do then?

Can we manage a long distance- wait, we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend. But what should I do?

I know this can’t last long.

I sighed and stood up. I knew that EXO would be having a comeback in two months in March and Wu Fan would be going to China again. And I myself was going back home in March.

My studying was only scheduled to March so I had to go home either way. I sighed as I picked up my phone and dialed Wu Fan’s number.

“Yeah?” he asked from the other side, like he always does.

“Eh… mind meeting up?” I asked and I heard him talk with someone on the other line in Chinese.

“Yeah, by the café in 15 minutes?”

“Sure” I said and we ended the call. I slowly stood up and changed my clothes. I then took my phone and my purse before exiting the apartment and started walking to the café. I reached it before he did and sat down at our usual table in the back of the café.

I ordered a latte and waited for Wu Fan to come. The door opened a few minutes later and he stepped inside. He smiled faintly and walked over. I smiled halfheartedly back and he sat down across from me.

“We need to talk” I said. I know it sounds horrible, it even sounds horrible in my ears too.

He looked at me and his smile faltered away.

“What is it?” he asked cautiously and took my hand in his and squeezed it. I squeezed it back and tried to smile.

“I… I don’t know if we can keep this up anymore” I said and looked away from him. I heard him chuckle a little.

“With what?” he asked, as if dumbfounded.

“With us dating” I said honestly and lifted my head to look him in his eyes. Confusion rose up in his eyes.

“Why not?” he asked and gently let go of my hand. I squeezed my hand into a ball and shook my head.

“Wu Fan, we both know it won’t last. You’re a celebrity; you go back and forth between Korea and China. I don’t even live here; I am going home, back to Sweden, as you are going back to China. I can’t move to Seoul or China, what should I work with? Where would I live?” I said and ran a hand through my hair. I felt him looking at me but I didn’t dare to look at him.

“Stop talking like that, of course we can make it. I mean, I’ll be in China for around two months only and then I come back again. You can work at our company-“

“Do you seriously think I would be allowed to work there, I don’t even know what I should do for working? I doubt I even have the right education.”

“Who cares, we’ll find something” he tried to argue but I shook my head.

“I doubt you’re even allowed to date” I mumbled as I looked down in my cup.

“You’re even thinking about something stupid like that?” he asked but I stayed still, not answering him.

“Then what if the media finds out?” I looked up at him with a serious expression. I knew that I myself wouldn’t be able to cope with it.

“We’ll make it” he said optimistically.

“No… Wu Fan. You can make it, but I won’t” I said and shook my head. “Maybe it’s best if we just… forget about each other”

“No. I don’t want to forget you.”

We became silent as he had taken my hands in his and was staring at me as I was doing anything besides meeting his gaze.

“Wu Fan… I don’t want to forget you either. But it’s probably the best for both of us” I said as I stood up and pulled on my coat again. He stood up and followed me while pulling on his jacket when I left the café.

“Wait!” he yelled out but I kept going, afraid that if I stopped I would give in and that the tears aching to burst out would be visible for him.

“Kar, wait!” he said and grabbed my arm as we were almost by my apartment.

I finally stopped and I could hear him breathe behind me.

“Please, don’t do this” he said and I felt him circle his arms around my waist. I stayed still, doing nothing as he pulled me closer to his chest and the tears finally dropped.

“Please…” his pleading voice didn’t make it easier. I then sighed and tore his arms away from my waist and turned to him.

“Stop it Wu Fan.” I said sternly and looked at him as he only stared back with a hurt expression. “I don’t want to hear from you again. Got it?” I asked and when I didn’t get an answer I turned around and walked inside the apartment complex. For what I know he was still standing there when I entered the elevator, but what do I know.

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A/N:.... I'm scared to say anything at all actually...

But... tell me what you think?

Oh my gosh... have you guys seen this: