2 days later…

Leeteuk-hyung dragged me to SM to get ready for a variety show. Even though I feel really gloomy that time, bits of laughter will escape from my mouth whenever my “support system” cracks some joke or do silly stuff.

Leeteuk-hyung is always behind me, probably worried that I may collapse anytime soon. Now that I think about it, I think every single one of my members is worrying about me. They have either guilt or worry in their faces whenever I meet their eyes. I was trying to put myself together to let them know that I will be alright. I would join their misfits from time to time, joke with them, and smile at everyone I see. After that, I seem to care less about the main problem.

Well, Soojin will be very disappointed in me if I’d be sulking at all our performances, right? I’m guessing she will.

All the members are now gathered at a single room. It’s total chaos when everyone is talking at the same time. Makeup artist and hair dressers are the only one standing and walking all over the place while the members sit down on individual chairs. Half of the group is done while Eunhyuk, Sungmin, Kyuhyun, Yesung, Hankyung and I are still preparing.

Still feeling stressed out and a bit upset, I closed my eyes to relieve myself. The hairdresser continued to fix my hair.

“Donghae-ah?” someone called.

“Why, Sungmin-hyung?”

“How’s Soojin?” he asked.

Nice timing, just when I was relaxing myself, relieving from stress, you would go and interrupt my solitude.

“She’s…fine.”

“Really? …great.”

Annoying rabbit turned to sarcastic bunny. “What’s with the sarcastic tone?”

“Did she tell you anything?” he asked.

“Aside from she loves me so much…nothing more.” I miss her already.

“Well, Dr. Park called me. He said…well, Soojin will be sent to Australia soon.”

I opened my eyes in shock. “WHAT? They’re taking her? When?”

“To…day…” he said in total caution.

I immediately stood up, forgetting that a hairdresser was still fixing my hair. I stormed out of the room, but a hand caught me and stopped my pace.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Leeteuk-hyung said seriously.

Bystanders along the corridor are shocked to see the both of us having this little fight. I looked into his eyes the same as he looked at me with his piercing stare.

“I want to see Soojin before she leaves,” I said, also furious.

“We have to work!” Leeteuk-hyung said, almost shouting.

“My best friend is going abroad. I have to see her!”

Both Hyung and I stared into each other’s eyes with fury.

“You’ll ruin our schedule,” he said.

“You’ll ruin my life!” I said back.

Leeteuk-hyung was taken aback. He didn’t know what to say; he only stared at me after my last sentence. He loosened his grip but didn’t let go.

“Hyung, I have to see her. I want a proper goodbye.” My eyes are stinging. I breathed deeply to stop myself from crying.

“But…I’m sorry Donghae, I’m the leader of Super Junior. Everyone counts on me. I won’t let you go.” Leeteuk-hyung’s grip tightened again.

I curled my fist into a tight ball. I was breathed deep and fast that I think I’ll go nuts. The other members came out of the room to see us. Sungmin hurriedly run towards me, trying to hug me away from Leeteuk-hyung, but I pushed him away.

I looked at Sungmin. “You get away from me,” I told him.

Then, someone slapped me really hard.

“Are you crazy?!” I yelled.

I look around and everybody was stunned. Lisa was heaving beside me, furiously staring at me.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she asked.

“I should be asking you that question!” I yelled again.

“Soojin was right to worry about you. She said you’ll go nuts. Then what we have here is you going berserk. Nicely put, Donghae!”

I stared at her, not knowing what to say.

“How did you get in here?” Sungmin asked her.

Lisa looked at Sungmin and calmly said, “I asked you’re manager to let me in. I have…something important to give to this crazy person.” She took out an envelope from her jacket pocket and shove on my hands. “Soojin was worried something like this will happen, so she asked me to give that to you.”

Lisa turned around and started walking. Everyone was still stunned. But then she turned around again.

“I know Soojin is important to you and important to us as well. Even in just a short period of time I became friends with her; she showed me how a nice and caring person she is. You are so lucky to have her as a friend. Soojin is trying to be strong just for you, trying to be healthy just for you. Might as well ‘behave’ yourself while she’s away. Enough said.”

Then, she walked away.

I looked at the envelope in my hand. Then, like in an instant, I got to my senses and looked at Leeteuk-hyung and the rest of the group.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

I know there are loads of eyes staring at me right now. I quietly sit on one of the chairs in the corner of the room. I stared at the letter for a good five minutes before opening it. My heart was pounding as I opened it, afraid of whatever contents was inside.

As I opened it, Soojin’s hand writing welcomed me.       

After reading the letter, I was speechless. She thought of me even if she’s the one that should be looking after. She thought of me even she’s sick. She thought of me, selfish me, even though at this moment I don’t deserve anything.

I folded the letter and put it in my pocket. I stood up and tried to find Leeteuk-hyung. He was preoccupied with his thoughts; I swear he was not blinking.

“Hyung,” I finally said when I was near him. “I’m sorry,” I said.

He smiled. “It’s alright,” he replied. “Just don’t lose your temper again on me.”

We both smiled and gave each other a hug. Soojin, I must say that an angel is looking after me. I hope that there’s someone out there looking after you too.

__________________________________________________________

I thought I posted this chapter already.

Thanks to everyone who commented. @sthyme, dont worry, i still have a few more chapters to add. ^^,

Note: I just have to add my penmanship on Soojin's letter. :P

~Crina