She wanted an answer. But she doesn’t have the courage to ask. She grows more curious of him yet she’s also frightened. She looked at the reflection in the mirror, slowly; she touched the cold thing and traced the corner of her face. Only to stop at her lips. She abruptly withdraws her fingers and stared back at her reflection with wonder. The girl in front of her looks different. She tried to smile yet it still feels different. Very different that she feels like a complete stranger.

Feeling suffocated, she reached for her phone and dialled a number but then stopped herself. Tears started rolling on her pale cheeks while she clutches her chest whispering, “Sorry.”

####

Everything came back to normal. The only weird thing is that Seunghyun became more and more gloomy or might I say grumpier than usual. And I, I missed Sandy.

I don’t need to ask but I think I know what’s happening. Her absence means two things and Seunghyun’s gloomy state means one thing. Hearing maknae gossip about the break-up confirms my suspicion.

I am supposed to be sorry for hyung yet I wanted to scold myself for hoping. Hoping that ... I shrugged the thought. I lighted a cigarette and looked for a good spot to smoke, at the rooftop. There, I found hyung sulking. I quietly walked his way however I am stopped by his thick baritone voice.

“Don’t come near me, I’m a mess.”

I turned around and slumped at the corner facing the tall buildings. He did the same, only were facing the opposite direction.

“Should I get back on her for you?” I joked.

“Nah. I’ll get over her fast I’m TOP remember?”

We remained silent for a moment. Just looking at the building. Immersed in our own thoughts.

“She’s not mine in the first place.” he broke the silence. I stayed quiet. Waiting for him to speak again. “I got overboard.” he sighed before continuing, “Sandy, she’s just waiting for someone.” he faked a laugh. He stayed silent again. I heard him wet his throat.

“I thought she’ll be mine. But that bastard left a big place in her heart and I can’t seem to replace him after all this time.”

“Hyung.” is all I can say.

“I miss her.” he whispered to himself but it is audible to me that I felt sorry for him. Because I too, misses her. Even if they were just stolen glances.