The tour started off great. But then it became shaky again. She felt herself embarrassed feeling crappy, scared and nervous. The old lady, the house. And then she just felt somehow relaxed hearing Ah In’s voice.

Then she remembered, Ah In’s house is indeed near to the places which scared her most. Near Jiyong’s. And near the cemetery. It all downed on her. That maybe she was really part of that place. That she has been dreaming of that cemetery for long because she has been there once not just once or twice as how she perceived it to be. And that it was part of the reason why she has to go under that dreadful medication.

Also, Ah In. Her bestfriend. The person she has treasured before everyone else appeared. Before the most mesmerizing dark eyes. Before Seunghyun. And then maybe since Jiyong know him too, had they came to her life just at the same time. She is slowly connecting the dots. But somehow it is still vague. What made her frightened? What made her traumatized? She wanted to know the answers but at the same time she is also scared. She felt she has not grown. She is still the same a coward.

“It’s no one’s fault.... It’s an accident..... It’s not because of you...” she once again remembered Ah In’s comforting words before he left her to another country. And then there were his warm eyes. And Seunghyun’s now concern. But everyone seems to be leaving her even though they promised to care.

Maybe Jiyong too. Everything, nothing lasts.

####

I am hesitant to bring her at the school. But she seemed fine after coming to Ah In’s house. Until the very end, he is still bugging me. Maybe that person Seunghyun is pertaining to is Ah In. I’m an idiot. They would never be parted. Of course it is given. I felt like broken again. I said I won’t care if she’ll hurt me again, but I guess it’s just too painful. When I’m just starting to fantasize, she has already managed to burst my bubbles. What a cruel reality.

We arrived at the school. I felt really tired already. Physically, mentally and emotionally.

Everything seems the same. The school, it did not change. Maybe just minor revisions. Those big trees are still there. The path I used to take everyday. The pretty landscapes. The healthy grass. I felt like the old Jiyong again. That old Jiyong, who happens to be in a one-sided love. Just like before, I am crushed. Today I felt the same pain, just that it’s much bitter.

I looked at Dara. I got shocked seeing her terribly trembling. Her face is stained with tears. And then she collapsed on the ground. I tried waking her but it’s just not working. I felt myself panic not knowing what to do. It happened again but now, it’s worse than that on the cemetery.

I carried her into a nearby shade. Just our luck, it started raining. I guess we should really have used the car instead. So much of that romantic stuff. It felt that the rain won’t stop soon. And the shade is not giving us enough shelter to avoid us from getting soaked.

I put out my jacket and covered Dara. Jus then I remembered, Dara’s house is just nearby. Maybe we can rest there. I helped Dara on the bike and pedalled our way as fast as I can toward their house holding Dara firmly with my left hand.

As soon as we got there, I searched for the key among one of the pots in there just as what Bom told me before. Good enough, I found the key. I opened the gate and the house and helped ourselves in.

The house is empty but clean. I placed Dara who’s still sleeping at the sofa.  With the fastest I could muster, I looked for a dry cloth for both of us, prepared hot water and a clean towel.

As much as I am embarrassed to undress her, I have no choice so without thinking twice, I carefully changed her clothing after drying her up with the clean towel.

Then I hear a ring from her phone.

“Sandy where are you?” it’s from unfamiliar voice. It sounds like the person is in a hurry, and very much worried.

“I’m sorry. Sandy is sleeping.”

“Sorry may I ask whose this?” from worried the voice became irritated.

“Ah sorry, it’s Jiyong, Sandy’s friend. Who’s this?”

Instead of answering me, the person from the other line bombarded me with another question. “Where are you? What have you done? Is she okay?”

Just then my phone started ringing too. It’s just crazy. I am already in panic because Dara collapsed, then this caller and now my phone is also ringing. Just my luck. It’s a great day!

“Dara, I mean Sandy, she is fine, and we are in their house.”

“In their house which house is that?” the person started shouting.

“Calm down, I mean no harm. We are in their old house, in their town.”

“Are you freaking kidding me!? Before she wakes up, I beg you to leave there. I’m coming over.” he then hangs up on me. What a freak.

I answered my phone after that call. It was Seunghyun.

“Hey, I was calling you for a long time. What have you been doing?” Seunghyun also seemed frantic.

“Sorry about that. I am touring Sandy around.  She’s pretty much sleeping.”

“Sleeping? What do you mean in their old house?”

“Ah that, actually she kind of fainted. But don’t worry I am taking good care of her.”

“Fainted!” he shouted. “Her family is worried. After her call last night I informed her family, I am coming over your house as well as her family. I left first. Meet you there in a minute.” then he hanged up. Great it was the second time. Just then Dara awakened.  And she is all blank.

She is listening at his conversation over the phone. He is addressing her as Sandy. It sounds foreign to her. She then looked at him carefully. He was that guy. That guy she dumped before. Jiyong. That guy she chose over her bestfriend Ah In. But still got dumped.

She did not utter a single word. He too is looking at her. But she did not smile nor stare back. Instead she looked around her. The house is empty but clean. It is their house. The place she has been dreading to leave since her favorite Uncle died. Or maybe even before that. She closed her eyes thinking that she is just dreaming that it is just a nightmare. However when she opened them again, she is sill there with Jiyong.

He has a worried look painted over his face. She gave him a loop sided smile. Then she remembered everything. From the start up to the present. Her guilt. She being Dara. She being Sandy. She being a murderer.

“I remembered.” she spoke it boldly while leaning at shocked Jiyong. The guy, he did not answer back. Instead, he caressed her face. It is wet. Wet with guilty tears.

“Would you still love me even if I am a murderer?” she asked him with a pleading voice.

He kissed her on the forehead gently then hugged her. It is a reassuring hug. “I know you’re not.” he answered.

She tried to free herself from his hug. She wailed, she screamed with all her might.  Then she heard the door bang. There welcomed her supposedly family, Bom, her mother, and father. There is also Seunghyun. And then...

She mouthed, “You’ve returned. What took you so long Jae?”

Then the guy with the most mesmerizing eyes gave her that same warm hug. The hug that erases all her fears. Everything. She felt her eyes close. Then everything went blank.