Yesterday she banged her head on the ground. It got me startled. She may be in a very deep pain. She might be more frustrated than I am. Much much more burdened. Maybe it’s very much unlike me who just want to rebel because I wanted to be a singer instead of a doctor that my father want me to be.

Then, I decided that I want to protect her. And I got an excuse to see her everyday. That I am trying to like the hospital. Maybe I might even get my father’s approval. The best thing, I can see the cutest thing ever everyday. 

I visit her. Everyday. I am just annoyed that the guy with the thickest lips I’ve ever seen is visiting her too. And they are lovey dovey. I guess I am jealous. I want the cutest thing for myself. Just mine. I think, I love her already.

Maybe it was because the first day I saw her, I find myself envy on how she knows how to get her anger out. That unlike me, I keep myself mime. I keep it all to myself. That I just follow whatever my father says. Also she is just too cute.

Whenever I visit her, she’d look at my eyes first. But she’s too shy. Maybe I’ve read her wrong. She’s also bottled and corked up so tight just like me. And that day that I saw her was the day she let the cork undone.

I brought a guitar with me. I sing for her. And that’s the first time she talked to me after banging her head.

It is very refreshing. That someone appreciated my voice. So I decided to sing for her. Just for her.

Then when Ah In went back to America, that’s when she poured her heart out to me. She cried. She cried. And cried. I tried comforting her. And I know just what to do. Sing for her.

I found her diary. The one where she writes everything that is happening to her. Her frustrations, everything just as the doctor told her. 

There, a piece of paper almost crumpled fell down. Curiosity consumed me and opened it.  It’s a composition. I fixed the paper then started strumming the guitar.

I was alone in this lonely room

Thinking of you and our memories

How it was bittersweet for me

Thinking that you’re in love with me

I was waiting waiting for you to notice me

I was expecting expecting that you love me too

But I was wrong to assume

That the love you’ve shown was deeper than friendship

I am a fool falling for someone like you

Who cares and loves me nothing much as a brother

Give me sometime to think it over

To forget this feeling

Tomorrow I will be laughing

But it will never be the same again

I saw her tears falling from her cute face. I tried wiping it away but it just kept on falling. “Sorry.” I hushed.

She cried her last tears and slept.  I watched her as she journey to her dream land. And wished that it will be a happy one. Of course it’s because I am there. ^_^

“Don’t go.” she murmured.

I caressed her face. She snuggled. Then I heard her utter a very unfamiliar name. “Jiyong.” It angered me but I stayed then whispered, “I won’t go.”

I stayed up all night. While she sleeps soundly, I read her diary the one before her hospital diary. The one that Ah In has been re-reading and bragging to me. I just got a hold of it when I sneaked on to his bag. Haha. My heart is torn apart reading the parts about her frustrations. About Yeon Hee. About So Eun. And then there’s Jiyong.

The Jiyong guy who serenade her. It squeezed my heart. The song I have just sung to make her feel better was a song for Ah In. Because she is sorry that she has fallen inlove with that Jiyong guy.

I realized that she opened up to me because of my similarity with Jiyong. The way I love to sing. The way I love to draw, it’s just that I’m not that good. The way I always banter with Ah In. The way I call her Dara instead of Sand. The way... the way....

I hate him. That Jiyong guy. More than that Ah In, her said to be best friend. Jiyong. I. Hate. Him.  

From that day on, I called her SANDY.