Ever since Wannabe became famous, their reputation is increasing day by day, not only by group’s name but also by individual. Since members started to participate and challenge in different aspect, they received a lot of good reaction, along with hate ones of course. However no one can deny that they are reaching the top thanks to their effort and talent. At the end of 2009, Wannabe released new song as a thank you message for their fans. Despite not being promoted as normal, “Am I that easy” still “easily” remained at top which makes everybody including SM surprised. In addition, Taeng’s solo song also received so much love and was remembered as one of the best song for 2009 in solo.

For 2010, Wannabe plans to release a couple of new songs along with solo single from Taeng, since Sun has some variety as permanent member, the remaining member will continue as actors. A new tour is also planned.

After coming back from JeonJu, Taeng has not heard anything about the result from Ki Joon for almost 10 days. He almost forgets it because of busy schedules. As soon as Taeng tends to call him, he receives a message which asks for a meeting from him. Taeng replies while starts having some strange feeling about this.

One night in February 2010, a café in Seoul

Wearing normal clothes, Kim Taeng goes out and arrives at the café. He sees Ki Joon sitting at the corner where people will not notice much. Smile lightly at his cautious, he is coming near him. Ki Joon is a bit surprise to see him which wakes him up from his deep thoughts.

“Hi, I’m sorry for making you wait. When did you arrive?”

“It’s ok. I know you are busy, I just arrived about 5 minutes ago. How about you these days?”

“Why are you so serious? We just met about 10 days ago”- Kim Taeng answered with a wide smile because of his friend’s sudden question “As usual, I am very busy, maybe a lot busier than last year. And of course, it comes with a lot of money and reputation J”

“Don’t overwork yourself. Ah, what do you want? Coffee or tea?”
“Let me see” Taeng looks over and calls a waitress over “Please give me Americano, thank you”

“Don’t drink too much coffee, it is not good”

“You seem very strange today. So how about my result? I have to use painkiller a lot these days compared to before”

Ki Joon is a bit hesitant after hearing that question, “Taeng ah, be patient while listening to me” Ki Joon’s words suddenly makes Kim Taeng become a bit more nervous. “It’s ok, tell me now, Joon ah”

“I think you need to receive surgery as soon as possible. After checking it carefully, we saw grade I brain tumor. You need to be admitted to hospital right now so that it can be cured completely”

“Wh.. wwhat? Brain tumor? Are you sure?” Taeng’s voice keeps trembling, which means that he is receiving a big shock right now.

“I am very sorry about this, but it’s true. Don’t worry though, it can be cured through surgery. I already asked my professors and he promised to help you with his connection so please accept surgery next week, won’t you?”

“How long can I live without surgery?”

“What do you mean by that? Yahh, are you crazy?”
“Just answer my question. I just want to know”

“5 years for longest”

“I got it. Don’t tell anyone about this please, especially my family. I need time to think and will tell them myself later”

“Okay. I know you are surprise and need more time. Thinking carefully and contacting me as soon as possible, ok? Or else I will tell your brother and ask for his help”

“I know, thank you for your understanding”

Coming back after the conversation, Taeng is wandering around like a lost soul. “Is this how it all ends? What did I do so wrong in order to be punished like this?” Tears keeps falling down on his face. At that night, he cries to sleep inside his car.

During the following week, Taeng’s actions become a bit strange. Even though s try to ask him what was wrong, he just shrugs it down with an excuse that he is tired. They thought that he was too stress about writing new songs and having packed schedules these days. Though whenever they perform, he is still doing great, but right after they go on backstage, he remains like a different person.

Taeng’s point of view

“I cannot concentrate since that day. I wonder what I should tell them. Should I ask them to wait or to continue without me? No, I cannot make sure that I can come back, why do I have to give them hope? Even though they may know it someday, I still cannot be selfish. I need to decide now, for the best of us”

After wondering for a week, Kim Taeng finally asks for Ki Joon’s help. He sent him a long message carrying his decision: “Ki Joon ah, thank you for everything. I think I am very lucky to have a friend like you. You are right, I need to receive treatment in order to be cured completely before too late. However, I can only do that after finishing what I need to do as Wannabe’s leader. I ask for your understanding and please give me at least 6 months, Wannabe will end new tour after new release by then, in addition, other members’ activity will also be done. I cannot let them be affected by my action. Because I may not come back, I hope I can have a little more time with them. I will find chance to tell my parents soon, so I ask you for one more time, please keep it a secret until then. I will fly to America as your professor’s recommend, so hope that you can help me to prepare for surgery by then. Once again, thank you so much”

During the first half of 2010, Wannabe’s come back project starts with part I: Love with 2 songs are Beautiful and 0330. They promote both in Japan and Korea while releasing teaser for part II: Forgetting with title All day long. This is considered as a grand project come back which makes other opponents to be worried. The second part new song was performed first during their second tour starting in Seoul. That day is when they kick off the new legend era. Of course it was said that Wannabe is unbeatable King. Their solo performances during this tour also prove that individual can be a top star themselves. Everything is amazing, however, unknown to others, that before a storm, the sky is always clear blue.

After a day full of work, Kim Taeng suggests that they should have a “private” meet to congratulate themselves. Therefore they go to the familiar restaurant of Lee Suk Chun. They talk to each other with a comfortable mood after long time.

“As a leader, I know I may not do it properly, but it is because I know each member can do well on their own. I’s rather considering us as friend and family than just colleague, therefore, no matter what will happen, I hope all of you can continue doing as well as you are now”

Hearing those things from Taeng, others start to tell what they thought recently, starting from Yul:

“We know that you are very burdensome by that title, a leader. Therefore, we always try to do well alone so that you can be a bit more comfortable. However, we need you that is a fact. I think you keep too much things for yourself, especially recently, it seems that you have a lot of problem both mentally and physically. Truthfully, I saw you take medicines a lot because of your headache. Are you really ok? We always tell you about my struggle, and you help us a lot, for example my dance performance at concert was done well, Yoong’s vocal was improved and proved during this tour too, our confident when acting were all thanks to your cheer and advice. And you said nothing about you”

“That’s right, huyng. I am the youngest, therefore I may not seem reliable as others. However, I realize recently we are going through a lot, I can easily see what’s wrong with others except you. You are the person I respect and love the most, and I cannot help you anything”

The two remaining also agrees to what Yul and Yoon just said. Seeing their thoughtful for himself, Kim Taeng got emotional, knowing that his time with them is going to end soon.

Looking around and answer with his honest thought at this time, Taeng gives them a complicated look:

“It is true that I have my own problems. I don’t want to make anyone worried since you all have your own thing two. Yul, Yoon and Soo first experienced in acting and received too much criticism, you all only start have balance right before this comeback. Sun also had trouble in his character in broadcast. In addition, Yoon even cannot sing properly, Yul is too afraid to dance because of their slump. Luckily, you all can fix it gradually by yourselves, that’s what I am thankful for since I mostly only help you by words. Return to me, my health recently is not good, it’s true. After this activity, I will take my time to recover so don’t worry too much. I also had a bit of insomnia since the time both my career and love life got problem. But now it is okay, I can use it as experience for writing new melody, it’s good. I will try to open up more as time goes by and one more thing you should know, Wannabe is always the best time of my life J”

Feeling the atmosphere is a bit strange, Soo is changing their subject since they talk about those for a while.

“Alright, let’s talk about other things. For example, about girls, okay?” Giving Lee Sun who is sitting next to him a mischievous smile and wink, which makes Sun somehow understanding his plan.

“Girls? That’s right. I heard that there are some people here become ideal type among a lot of trainees these days. They are too good which makes our trainees to be distracted a lot. Please wait calmly and don’t break those young girls’ heart, ok?” Looking directly to Yul & Yoon, and others start rolling over laughing.

“We did not do anything. Why are you all laughing? Yah, stop right now”

“That’s right, huyng. I was just a helper for Yul huyng though”

“What? Don’t say thing that make them misunderstood”

“Everyone already knows, Seulgi is really good, right? If she can debut, I think you two can become lover then”

“Yul ah, do you want me to help? Sometimes I attend their vocal class though” – The kid leader finally joined in.

“Alright, you all tease me, so don’t blame me then. The two shortest should tell us who you are contacting though, I see you two smile while looking at your phones a lot. It cannot be family, don’t make excuse”

The two who were mentioned suddenly got a bit surprise and talk at the same time with a same thing: “She is just a little sister I know”

“Oh, a sister? So is she a celebrity?”

“No” – Said at the same time again.

“You all will know when time comes, stop asking” – Kim Taeng has to end this with the most serious face he can.

“Okay, okay. So other thing: How’s about your new solo song Taengoo?”
“I think it will be ready soon, with help from Yoon”

“And the title?”

”I need a girl”

“Oh, now cheering for your most successful release. Cheers!”

As plan, Kim Taeng new solo products releases in June 2010. Because of Wannabe’s tour, he does not promote it in TV, however, it is still a hit. Therefore, he just makes some special appearance for his fans. He once again becomes a hot topic, from the song to the dance and featuring from member.

One day in September 2010, Kim Taeng finally decides to call Mr Lee to meet up, he has to end this now, or never.

Mr Lee’s office

Knock, knock.

“Yes, come in please”

“Hello, teacher”

“Oh, you’re here. Sit down. What a good timing, I have things to tell you too, about the next project”

“Teacher, I am sorry. I think I have to make you disappointed. I have to stop now and I need your help. I hope you can allow me”

Their talk lasts for over 15 minutes, Kim Taeng just want his teacher who he respect most can understand him. He is also very sorry for having to do it this way.

“I got it. I will tell the law team about the contract, since it is unavoidable, we can terminate the contract. I really hope you can come back to me later, as a complete healthy person. You are the student that I like the most, therefore you have to overcome this, okay?”

“Thank you so much. Please don’t tell my members until I go, I will let them know by then”

“Okay, it must be hard for them too. Be careful and see you again, Taengoo ah”

Mr Lee gives him a light pat on his shoulder with a warm smile. He is always thankful to his teacher, ever since he was a kid until now.

During his drive back to dorm, his older brother calls him. He answers knowing what his brother will say.

“Yes, huyng. Are parents okay now?”

“Uhm. I think so, how are you feeling these days, is your head ok?”
“It is still like that, whenever it hurts I use painkiller though. I asked Ki Joon about surgery plan in America, I think I can afford those expenses with my income until now. You can tell them not to worry”

“I know, we all will go with you. I received new transfer too, that job is in LA, near where you will live. So I can take care of you”

“You don’t need to do it that way though. Thank you huyng, for everything”

“I accept not only because of you, it is a good chance with high income, I may become manager when I comeback”

“Okay, I got it. It is getting late, you should go to sleep now. I arrive at the dorm already”

“Uh. Remember to tell me if anything is wrong, don’t hide it anymore”

“Yes, yes. I remember. G9”

“Bye”

At the end of September, 2010

All of the top newspaper has the headline which shocks the music scene, especially for Wannabe’s fan club – Buyl (Star)

“The retirement of the leader of the top group of Kpop Wannabe: What happened?”

“Kim Taeng will leave Wannabe because of personal problems”

“Wannabe will only has 4 members now”

“The future of Wannabe is still undecided – from SM”

All of the similar tittles keep coming out. Without any warning before, the news broke out. However, all of Wannabe’s members keep silent, they do not appear either in front of public or in SNS. A lot of rumor keeps spreading out, most of people just believe what they want using their imagination. Most of best friends of Wannabe’s members cannot contact them either.

Yul’s pov

It’s been a week since Taeng “disappeared”. We are too surprised to be able to receive. He only left a letter for us saying he didn’t have enough encourage to admit that he will be no longer a Wannabe’s member. He also said that he needed time to recover from his illness, therefore we had to continue until he come back. We had tried to contact his family several times, however, they disappeared completely with him. Their store is running by his relatives since then. Just yesterday, after our youngest made a mess, we finally had a clearer answer from our teacher. He said Taeng might not never come back, accurately, he cannot. His illness is too serious because he had to try for a long time, for us, for our fans. That’s right, we should have known it sooner since we had been together most of the time. However, it is not the case. Because of this issue, our company gave us times to rest while they are reconsidering our plans in the future. Obviously, we will not use Wannabe’s name to come back without him even though we need to continue from now on”.

Since that incidents, SM’s plans for the rest of the year are changed completely. The solo song Kim Taeng wrote and released right before he left is the last time their fans and public see the news of Wannabe. Except for activities was completed, they did not receive any other new offers. Other groups are active more than before just like to cover their position.

SM entertainment, October 2010

The trainees just finished their monthly review. Since they had free time, most of them chose to chat with each other. Of course, one of their topic was Wannabe. No one saw them for almost 3 months, even just a glance of them passing by.

“Hey, I heard that they will disband soon and going solo. They will not never come back as a group”

“No, it’s not true. I heard that will come back, but under different company, that’s why we never saw them here since then”

“Really? I think our company will held them back no matter what happen, since they are very famous individually. If they really get out, I don’t think they can survive”

At the corner of the room, one girl is sitting with the earphone to listen to music. She seems not to like others’ conversation.

Joo Huyn’s point of view

“I was sitting and listening to music in order to wait for Seulgi. She is talking with our teacher about the assessment. I don’t participate with others because not only I don’t like noisy but also I was thinking something else. Last Tuesday, after finishing practicing lately, I just returned to our dorm. However, I heard the piano sound playing “Nothing better” while walking out. Follow that I wondered who was still practicing this late while already playing that good. Surprisingly, I saw a very familiar figure. That person realized I was there when I want to left. I was waiting for being shouted at when that person called me over. “So unlucky I am” was the only thing I can think of”

“Am I a monster? You look like you saw a very scary person”- That person started.

“No, no sunbae nim. I am sorry for disturbing you. I will leave right now, and I won’t say anything”

When Joo Huyn was turning her back, a very soft voice come out: “If you are not in hurry, can you be my secret friend for tonight? At least you are the person I am more familiar with, among trainees here”

Joo Huyn can realize the sadness and lonely in his voice. She also heard about his group these days, he must have been stressed about that. He added more while seeing her still hesitating: “And it is very late now, I will take you home latter, just for some minutes”. Yoon see her turning back and walking to him, it means that she agreed.

That night, they did not say anything sensitive, just a small things about music. Between them, a very comfortable atmosphere can be felt. They start off like every others, normal friends who have similar things.

Back to present, after a while, someone is approaching JooHuyn with a bottle of cold water.

“Unnie, why are you here? I am searching for you for a while”

“Huh? I thought you have not finished your conversation with our dance teacher so I go out. However, I don’t like noisy thing so I just sit here”

“You can just join them over there, so interesting, isn’t it?”

“Don’t talk like you have interest in those things, that’s why you are here with me right? Our Kang Seulgi?”

The latter girl gives out her bright smile while hearing the older. That’s right, all of their friends for 3 years all gave up while they are still here. They do not have mind to care about things which the newer are talking about. Because they are tired enough with only their own things.

“You know me too well, Joo Huyn unnie. That’s why we can be close until now. I am just curious, how do they have those rumors? And is it really true so that they can spread out it like that?”

Joo Huyn replies after thinking for a minute:” I just think they can relieve their stress by saying those things. Even though, I do hope that our senior is ok, they are very kind with us since we entered SM”

“Me too” After stopping for a while, she continues: “Don’t talk about this now, do you want to go to my house since we will be free this weekend?”

“Ok, I was just thinking what I should do this Saturday. Thank you”

“You are welcomed. Now, let’s go”

Notes: I use some of songs from other artists here: Beautiful (BEAST), I need a girl (Taeyang), all day long (ZEA), 0330/ am I that easy (UKISS). Hope you all can enjoy J