A year later, May 2011, Bang YongGuk

I dropped Sujin to work and went to my office. Sujin started to work as a drawings teacher for special needs children. She had to follow a formation and was now teaching those children how to express themselves though art. The institution she was working in was huge and she had 4 full days of work in the week. I still regret the time I was able to come back home and find her or stay in bed with her. She was busy, keeping up with drawing as an hobby. But it paid way more than being an assistant in illustration and she fitted so well with the drawing teacher stereotype, minus the glasses. And gosh I still regret my Sujin with glasses.

As I received my last client, I took time to ask him questions about his work and such. When he left, I was able to have my first break. YongMi came in my office; and dropped a package on my desk. « Our mail got messed up. »

I took the package and tried to read it. «What's that  ? Gosh I'm tired Huh I'm out for today. »

Yongmi showed some surprise. « You're sure you should at least open it ? »

I frowned and put the mail on the pile of my mails. « I'll do it tomorrow. » I stood up and started to pack for home, nonely wanting to keep on working.

« But -« YongMi started. I stopped her with my hand and smircked.  « Tomorrow. » I repeated with a menacing tone. She rolled her eyes and I left the room. left work and went back home with a smile. Sujin was here. She was receiving a call when I arrived and quickly ended her call to greet me. « My dear husband is here. »

« Yeah. You had a good day ? » I asked, kissing the little area behind her ear that made her giddy. She laughed.

« I had such a pleasant day today, what about you ? » Sujin hugged me, apparently really happy to have me here.

« Oh just the usual. A lot of work. »  Suin frowned hearing me say that. As a lawyer it was my daily routine. Rare were the days I had light days at work.

« Oh maybe tomorrow willl be lighter ? » She tried to cheer me up.

She had that amused smile that I couldn't understand. « Why do you smile like that ? »

«Nothing, just don't overwork once more okay ? Just take it easy tomorrow. » She winked at me and I nodded, pretty confused. She shoved chopsticks in my hands. "Let's eat, now."

*

A week later

I had a coffee with Yongmi and she looked uneasy. « Did you open the mysterious mail yet ? » she asked me about that package.

« No. But why do you care so much for that package ? »  It was unusual of her. We received tons of packages a day afterall.

She became red. « I'm curious, you know what YongGuk please. » I looked at her finish her coffee and she changed subject right away. As we were done, I came back to my desk and looked at the mysterious package. It was quite heavy. I read the package address, typed out it was really impossible to know who sent it. I made the content fall on the desk and frowned... This wasn't a complex affair case like I thought it would be but a book.

I opened the book and while fliping the pages, I reconized the drawing style of Sujin. It was her, with her pastel colors and aquarel aethetics.

I took it in my hands and started to read it. Slowly. At first, no words were written. Drawings of a woman having a normal day is shown, until she steps in front of protection pads. Then, she grabs an pregnancy test and go hide herself in some public toilets. The drawing of the pregnancy test made me gasp. The first sentence could be read on that page : The results are positive, Dear Husband.

The last picture is the cutest of all. The woman is standing up in front of a mirror and you could see a peanut drawn on her belly to represent the baby. «Bang YongGuk, show us once more the great father you are for this third child. I love you dearly. »

I reread the story from the start and chuckled to myself. I couldn't realize it. Sujin was pregnant ? Expecting a child from me ?

I got off my desk and ran downstairs. « Where are you going ? The package by chance did you. »  YongMi askked and expected my reaction a bit too much. « You traitor !! » I shouted to her.

She laughed. « YongGuk I'm so happy for you.I'll betray you a hundred times if it's for such good reasons !! » We hugged, adrelin getting in my body. I jumped around, making some clients waiting for the other lawyers of the firm smiling awkwardly.

« I'm freaking taking my day off ! Come on I'm having a baby ! » I ran outside with my bag and took my car.

*

« No You can't meet Sujin right now. She's in class. » The school assistant told me once I came by the welcome board. I tried to calm myself and smiled. Smile always worked in those situations.

« But I have-  »

« You'll be able to see her after class. In exactly half an hour.» She said in an automatic voice.

Half an hour hours ? Really ? I was going to say something and just stopped myself seeing the woman type on her computer, like I was already gone.

I got back to my car and sighed. Gosh I just want to hug my wife in my arms and have her for myself.

I sighed frustrated and went to a nearby coffee, re reading her cartoon tons of time. It made me think of my twenties. When I eargerly, selfishly wanted a child. I was a capricious man and at this time my vision of family was really large. I wanted 4 kids, either boys or girls, enough to get busy all day with them and always laugh.

It was never my plan to stop myself after Taeyang. Of course, my divorce happened, followed by my depression. My anxiety crisis occured more than once at work. So I thought I was ed up. I felt sorry for Taeyang to have me as a father. I loved her in an indescriptibable way but she would be better off with an happy family, an happy dad and a mom.

I was convinced that I'd stay single for the rest of my life and my family always scoffed at this belief of mine. Then, my miracle happened. Kim Sujin. She first gave me another daughter. A real crybaby, a capricious whiney little girl that I learned to love and protect like she was my real daughter.

Now thinking that Sujin was expecting my child, even knowing that maybe it wouldn't go as planned and be a healthy baby, I was damn happy. This is what I always wanted. Have a family with the person I loved. Turned this person was a shy and mild mannered illustrator. Not the coleric and toxic Hana.

This baby will be such a fullfilment in my life. Well, our life.

I understood things better. Her amused smile looking at me. The fact that she didn't drink wine for a while. That my spouse slept extra early for no apparent reason. My wife was for sure a secretive woman. As I flipped the book several times, drinking my coffee, I was impatient to see her. To thank her.

 I heard the ring bell and stood up, Sujin arrived in front of the school slowly. As she arrived to my side, she widened her eyes.

« YongGuk, something happened ? Why are you here ? »

« I ... » I stared at her, words leaving my mouth, staring with intensity Sujin. She looked like usual. Her stomach was still flat, not revealing her secret.

« Hey you're making me stressful. » She stated, a hand on my cheek.

« I received your package. » I finally said.

Sujin face relaxed and she chuckled. «YongGuk it's been a week I've sent you this comic, you're horrible with your mail ; had I know I wouldn't have done that. I thought you would never open it ! »

I hugged her. « I'm so happy. A little baby, our little baby. »

*

Kim Sujin

I will always remember the way YongGuk face illuminated today. He was happy like a child. His love for kids was just so touching. After taking me in his arms and spinning me, I asked him to put me back on earth. He executed himself and hugged me again for long seconds.

« Thanks you so much Sujin. You're giving me a marvellous present. » He whispered in my ear. I shrugged submerged by emotions and wiped a stray tears from my left eye.

YongGuk looked at me completely lost and I shrugged. « I get really sensitive during pregnancy. I think that I'll be a wreck of emotions for a moment. »

He nodded, suddenly taking my body closer to him. «I'll be here. »

We left for the car and I looked amused at YongGuk fascinated eyes on me, every two seconds or so turning his head torwards me.

« YongGuk focus on the road, please. » I reprimanded him gently. He had a sorry face and stopped his childish staring. «When did you learn that ? You had time to draw that short story for me.»  He asked gently.

« Hmm a month ago ? I wanted to make sure that it was a little developed before telling anyone and this little comic was real quick to do. Maybe a full day or so ?  Oh and I'd like to wait before telling some people, like our parents and work place. If I get problems too, I just don't- "

  I stopped myself, not feeling like thinking about the worst. It was for sure a possibility but I didn't want to think about it at all. YongGuk knew what I was thinking about and sighed. He took my hand and kissed it quickly.

« I understand, we'll wait a month or so to announce it okay ?Wait, even with the girls ?We can't tell them either ? » He seemed pretty shocked of my will to hide this pregnancy.

I bite my lips. "YongGuk if something goes wrong I …

He sighed and grabbed my hand to peck it. « It'd be our little secret for a while. »

*

We had our usual dinner with the girls. YongGuk insisted to have ginseng chicken when no one was sick. It was suspicious  but it could just look like a random wish of him. I made sure to eat a lot of the ginseng chicken soup to reassure him and he looked satisfied. The girls didn't notice anything different and left the table quickly to watch their favourite TV show.

As we left for our bedroom, YongGuk seemed excited. «  I can't wait to see your belly. »  He whispered in my ear while we were going upstairs.

«I have no bump or whatsoever. » I almost rolled my eyes. I opened the door of our bedroom and entered, followed closely by YongGuk.

« I still want to see it. Can I ? » I looked at the tall and handsome man that my husband was. He was as excited as a kid and it was heartwarming to see. I raised my shirt quickly and YongGuk  looked at it before bursting in laughters. I smiled. How cute this person can get ? « Can I touch it ? »

« Of course YongGuk. Don't be silly. » I lied on the bed and patted the other side for him to come and join me. He rested his hands on my stomach and kissed my bellybutton. « I still can't realize. »

« You have around 8 months to get used to it. » I told him gently.

He smiled gently and closed his eyes. «Yeah. »

« And don't behave too weirdly in front of the girls. Just for a month, then it'd be okay. »

YongGuk got aslept, his head agaisnt my stomach wanting already to create a bond with the baby. Wait, our baby. I his hair gently and he looked really peaceful. I knew that YongGuk was an excellent father. He gave Taeyang strong bases and a good education and values when he was struggling with depression. It's been months that he stopped any forms of medication. He was perfectly aware of the risks but somehow his reaction reassured so much.

I still remember. Kang Joon distress when I told him about my pregnancy. Kang Joon who was kissing me and cuddling took a step back and became livid. It didn't help my emotional state. It was our last argument. The next day, he was already gone, leaving me and his responsabilities here in Korea. Even thinking about this just make me all sad again.

This is partly why I chose to send him the news though a short comic book. I still feared his reaction. Now I knew : I had nothing to fear. YongGuk was my husband, my trustworthy, faithful husband. I smoothed out his hair and closed my eyes, feeling pretty secure. Witnessing this pure scenery made my heart feel at peace. YongGuk was here for us.

Here what a lot of you wanted to see since a long time !!

I hope you enjoy that chapter, it was such a pleasure to write !!