Bang YongGuk

I woke up in the night,  going to the toilets when I heard sobbs in the hall. I opened Taeyang room and frowned : she was still sleeping.  I came to Moonah's room and opened her door. She was the one crying. I the lights and I sat on her bed, she held my hands. She looked at me with sad eyes. « I'm hungry. »

I smiled and lead her to the kitchen. I knew something that could made her smile in a millisecond. As I prepared hot chocolate for her, I let her sit on the kitchen table and gave a coconut cookie, like Sujin does. She stared at me watching over the milk boiling. « People thinks I'm stealing Taeyang dad. Because I don't have a dad. »

« And ? » I said, encouraging her to say more. She looked grumpy.

« They are rubbish. Because I have a dad and he has a very important job, he saves sharks, because even if sharks are scary as hell, they are essential for the ecosystem. And  I am not stealing you right ? »

I laughed. « Try to lift me. »

She widened her eyes. « I can't. I'm too small. » She ended up hugging me, obviously failing to lift me. I stopped her and pinched her cheek « So you're not stealing anybody. »

She laughed softly and I gave her the hot chocolate. « Wait you're not having one ? » She complained.

I shook my head. Moonah was the type of person that hated to eat if the person with her didn't. She pouted. « Take one sip. »

I executed myself, thinking that now I had to brush my teeths once again. I ended up serving myself a little cup and we drank tranquily. I noticed she was still in her school uniform. « Then you're going to shower and brush your teeths. » She nodded, silent. The thing with Moonah was that she was always in her thoughts. Daydreaming. Enough to get nagged by her teacher. As she took her last sip, I ruffled her hair. "Go and wash up. I'll wash up the dishes."

I made sure to clean un the kitchen and put everything in order. I knocked on the door of the bathroom and Moonah came to open. "My hair is wet."

"Come here. We can't made noise so I'll take the towel and rub your hair." I explained to her. I started my work and looked at her stare at me. All of sudden, she smiled at me. "You're nice."

"Huh ?" I said, quite disturbed by her few words.

She touched my nose. "I said you are nice. To mom but also to me."

I smiled and kissed her forehead. "Thanks. Have you brush your teeths yet ?"

She sighed. "Now you're a lot less pleasant." I laughed to her funny sentence and dragged her to the sink, I helped her get on the kid stool.  I gave her her toothbrush and she obediently brushed her teeths next to me. As we finished brushing our teeths, I motioned her to get on my back.  "I'll give you a piggyback to your bed."

She got on my back and her little hands came on my shoulders. I spinned once making her gasp. Once arrived in the hall, she pointed to Taeyang room and I opened its door. her room, I lied her next to Taeyang and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight !"

Moonah smiled to me nicely. « Good night. »

 When I woke up next morning, I called work right away to take a day off to be able to go and visit the school director. We needed to talk. I was taking a coffee alone, the girls of this house still sleeping, must be tired. I was cooking some noodles when  Taeyang ran down the stairs, I lifted her on my back, letting her watch me cook from above me. She kissed my cheek. "Good Morning Dad !"

I greeted her back, kissing her hand around my neck. Out of the blue, she sighed. « Dad, Sujin she's my mom now. »

«Taeyang, yeah, she cares a lot about you. » I was able to gather in a sentence. I couldn't resolve myself to talk about Hana to her. I felt panic get in my body and rested my hand on the back of the chair. I started to have a hard time breathing and put back Taeyang on the floor.

Sujin chose this exact moment to run a soothing hand on my back and hug me from behind. « Hi, my soon-to-be husband. »

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, calming myself. She was clueless about me about to  get a panic attack and arrived with her usual softness, enough to appease me. My soon-to-be wife swirled  me around and kissed me good morning. Taeyang raised her arms. « Mom ! »

« Hey cutie pie, good morning. » Sujin said offering her a kiss on her forehead.  I looked at them and thought everything will be okay. It had to be okay. Taeyang will be less and less curious about Hana and we'll be a real family.

*

Kim Sujin, 13th of June

I was home, cooking with the girls, concentrated on my kimchi stew. Suddenly I heard a loud thud from upstairs. I heard some groans of pain and sighed. What the girls did this time ? The girls were quietly playing in their room since they're being back from school, giving me some time alone cooking. I turned off the fire of my stew and headed upstairs to check on them. I opened the door of their room and frowned seeing how empty it was.

« Girls where are you ? »

I headed towards the noise and got inside the dressing room. What I found was a unpleasant view. Both of my little girls were on the floor, shattered pieces of glasses all around them and holding a  photo frame.

« Moonah, Taeyang, what have you done ? Are you hurt ? » I kneeled next to them and looked at the little cuts on their arms.  Taeyang looked at me with afraid eyes. «Please don't get angry. »

I gulped and nodded. « Okay? First, let's get out of here. You are bleeding both of you. »

I lifted Moonah first and got her in the hall before coming to Taeyang. « Can I bring the photo with me ? »

I nodded not really minding what was on the photo, she held it against her heart.My first preoccupation was to get them out of this mess of shattered pieces of glass everywhere. I brough them both in the bathroom and inpected their skin. Indeed, seeing them in another room reassured me, they indeed had cuts over their skin but it was very superficial and didn't bleed much. I released a sigh of relief. 

I looked Taeyang shoulder and hissed. « It hurts right ? » Moonah had a bluish bruise on her shoulder and some glass piece on her hand. I called 119 and quietly explained them what happened. They told me that I should bring my children to remove the pieces of glass and told me to wait for them.

I thanked them and looked back at the girls. Taeyang was still looking at the photo, curious I suddenly take a look over her shoulder. I almost became pale looking at the picture.

I knew YongGuk was married. He never hided this fact ... but looking at his wedding photo hurted me, deeply. His smile, the happy features of his, his arms around her waist burdened me a lot. Hana was beautiful. He never talked about how elegant she looked. I could tell she was a elegant woman, with a nice background.  I bite my lips seeing how her dress fitted her. For sure, she didn't have any strech mark on her porcelain skin.

I froze for a few seconds before gaining back composure.

« You're mad ? » Moonah asked to me in a small voice.

I shook my head and had a reassuring smile. « The doctors will get every piece of glass out. You're both very brave !   »

I hopped on the car with them and looked at Taeyang hug the frame. It was impossible to get it of her hands, she even began to cry because of it. So we hopped on the ambulancy with her frame against her chest. She looked almost pathetic, hugging that big frame with her little hands. It was a singular view. I suddenly looked at the frame to see if any glass could hurt her. 

"Can I have some gloves ?" I asked a nurse. I pointed to Taeyang seeing her frown and she gave me two gloves with a smile. "Taeyang, let me put those on you."

I made her wear the rubber gloves that would prevent her from being hurt by the glass and caressed her hair.

Arrived there, they moved them to a room to remove every piece of glass and take care of Taeyang shoulder. Moonah started to cry as the intern removed gently the only piece of glass stuck in her hand. I held her against me and kissed her cheek, she was definitely a crybaby, like me when I was a kid.  Taeyang finally let down of her frame to let the second intern take care of her, she wasn't whining like Moonah was. I looked at her big tears rolling on her face. She was holding up. I held her hand and kissed her cheek. They were a crying mess now that the inters were rubbing alcohol on their cuts. As they quickly put bandaids on the girls, I looked at Taeyang hug back  the photo of her parents.

"Do you think you can give them some passiflora to calm them ?" I asked a nurse. She nodded and came back quickly with two glasses of water. I made sure they drank it all before exiting the room for a moment.

I toke my phone out of my pocket and looked at all the missed calls of YongGuk. Gosh. I forgot about him. I dialed his number and he answered right away. « Sujin where are you ? I'm getting worried you left the kitchen without finishing cooking and I just don't get it. »

« YongGuk, the girls found a frame of your wedding picture and it fall on them. They got taken care of at the hospital. It's nothing alarming, just superficial cuts. » I announced him right away.

He stayed silent for a second, processing what I told him. « I'm coming right now. » He said, his voice harsher than usual.

I nodded and felt the need to add something : « YongGuk be careful on the road. »

Half an hour later, YongGuk arrived in the room, trying to catch back his breath. « Taeyang are you okay ? Moonah ? Gosh you're crying does it hurt ? »

Taeyang shrugged. Moonah pouted and wiped her tears.

« What happened ? You're usually both so good ! » He said in incomprehension. I understood him, they were not troublemakers, if they alwyas chatted together they never were little devils always doing a mess of the house. It wasn't their style.

« When Taeyang reached for the frame, it fell on her shoulder and then it shattered in little pieces around us. » Moonah explained quietly. Bang YongGuk started to look angry and sighed. He was going to nagg them. But suddenly; Taeyang shoved the frame in her dad hands. « You didn't want to talk about Mom, so I searched myself.»

She sounded annoyed. Seeing her since the incident, she only stared at the picture. Discovering her mom features, trying to retain them in her brain.

YongGuk looked at the picture for long seconds, before looking back Taeyang. He gulped. « Taeyang... »

She didn't look back at him and YongGuk froze. I looked at his pale face and pained expression. « YongGuk are you okay ? »

Silence. I heard his breath and gasped. He was having a panic attack. I removed the frame of his hands and leaded him outside, I made him sit on a bench and started to look around ready to run to get some help. He squeezed my hand and I looked back at him. He didn't want me to leave him.

"Can I have a bag ? Please he's having a panic attack !!!" I shouted loud enough I hoped for someone to help me.  A nurse got out of a room and ran in the opposite direction, she came back with a bag and I gave it to YongGuk.

 I made him breath in there for long minutes. Caressing his back. I hugged him longly, and it seemed to me that he breathed ofr hours in that bag. When he finally removed the bag from his mouth, I pecked his cheek. « It's fine, YongGuk. »

I surrounded his face with my hands and rested my nose against his. « Breath. »

He did as told and we did it several times. The medical staff was surrounding us and I blushed realizing the amount of people lookig at us. «Let's have a walk outside. I'll tell the girls. »

I opened the door and looked at Moonah hugging Taeyang who was sobbing. An intern was watching over them. "I kept them here."

I nodded, suddenly realizing that yes, Moonah and Taeyang were in the room just next to the bench. I sighed and thanked him longly. If Taeyang saw this, she would have cry too and make it even more a mess.

« We're coming back. He needs a walk outside. Can you just keep an eye on them ?»

The young intern smiled. "Of course take your time. I'll stay here."

I gave him back a smile. "Thanks you a lot."

I exited the room and looked at YongGuk answer a few questions  to the nurses. No, he felt fine now. No, he didn't need to lie down for a while. I came to his side and rested my hands on his shoulders. "Let's go and have some fresh air."

I lead him to the elevators and as we sat on a bench outside of the hospital YongGuk closed his eyes. « I feel so weak and pathetic. The whole hospital saw me having that ing panic attack.»

My hands touched his and he opened back his eyes. "The girls didn't see you if it can make you feel better. And don't shame yourself like that. Those people seemed geniously worried about your health."

"Anyways, nevermind this panic attack. But the fact that I kept silent so much about her mother to Taeyang that she felt the need to search in the house for  a photo ... If only I had the courage back then to talk to her, none of them would be here today."

I his back. " You have to talk to her. Maybe you can start small today. Let's go home first huh ? Can you drive ?»

He shrugged. « I have to. »

I sighed and asked him to excuse me for a minute. I ran to the nearest coffee shop to get two caramel latte. I came back with the two beverages and he smiled.  He tasted the beverage with some frown. I explained to him my choice. « No double expresso at this time of the night. You need the sweetness of a caramel latte. »

He half smiled. « You know I won't finish it right ? »

« You need some sugar in your body. » I gently said, before taking a sip of my latte. Surprisingly, he listened to me and we drank coffee slowly, holding hands in the garden of the hospital. Suddenly, he inspected my hand with precision. "You have a little cut on your finger."

"Really ? I didn't notice."  He gave me a pout and kissed the cut. "Magical kiss offered, you're fine now, right ?"

I smiled to him. "Of course." I finished my latte a while ago, but YongGuk being the slow sloth he is, drank the last bit of coffee just now. He did an effort to finish it, as he didn't have dinner yet and doesn't eat anything on the afternoon.  He stood up and I smiled. He found back some colours.

We came back to the hospital room and I thanked the interns for the care they gave to our daughter, consisting of juice and candies. We exited the hospital and YongGuk drove us back to home. We drove home in a overwhelming silence. Moonah was too emotionally drained to chat and Taeyang was obvious angry at her father, still hugging the photo frame. He looked a few times at her in the rear view, a sigh leaving his mouth every time.

Arrived home I head back to the kitchen and sighed. I was doubting anyone was hungry so I was surprised when Moonah sat on the chair.

"When are we eating Mom ?" She asked all innocent. I looked at YongGuk removing his coat. " Give me a minute."

I walked to his side and we looked at Taeyang get in her room with angry steps and both sighed. YongGuk looked defeated. I needed to cheer him up. "Good luck with her, remember to be honest okay ? I'll be in the kitchen if you need me, don't hesitate. And if you're hungry after that; come and have a meal with us, huh ?"

He smiled. "Thanks you for everything Sujin." He hugged me and I patted his back. He got in the stairs and I came back to the kitchen.

*

Bang YongGuK

I opened the doors of Taeyang room and found her on her bed, still looking at my wedding picture. I sat next to her and caressed her cheek. "I'm sorry. I should have talk to you about your mom a while ago. You feel curious right ?"

She nodded slowly and I came to hug her. "She's pretty, right ? You may have noticed her beauty mark on her neck."

Taeyang finally spoke. "She looks so happy. I don't understand why she is not with us. Did you lie to me about her and she's actually dead ?"

I shook my head. "To stay together, it requirs a lot of love. When we married, your mom and I loved each others but  love is not everything. Hana felt stuffy at some point and she met someone else that she loved dearly."

"More than you ?" She innocently asked.

"More than me. So from this point I let her go, if I didn't, none of us would have really be happy."

Her hands caressed the frame. "But me ? She abandoned me, right ? So she didn't go and volunteer in an african country, right ?"

I shook my head. "Hana she went to the U.S.A I don't know where exactly. She left us yes, but if whenever she'll come to meet you, she can find you, I promise. I still have her parents number."

Her eyes became sparkly. "My grandparents ?"

I sighed. She didn't break down when I told her her mom basically left one month after she was born. She didn't cry. I guess I needed to satisfy her curiousness of her mother.  « Do you want to meet your grandparents ? »

She nodded eagerly and I kissed her cheek. « We'll go there tomorrow for the weekend. I'm going to call them. » I tried to find their number and soon enough, found it. I called and asked them if I could come this weekend. Hana mom nodded excited. « Taeyang wants to meet you. »

« Gosh, sure come with her. We'll prepar a meal and gosh we'll be super happy to welcome both of you in our home !»

 I thanked her and  went back to my room. « Your grandparents are really excited to meet you, we should get in bed and sleep, we'll have to start driving soon to get there in the morning. »

We slept right away and woke up around 5 in the morning to get ready and leave. First thing I did was to go in the master bedroom. I found the room empty. So I opened Sujin drawing room and gasped. The woman was painting at this hour. I released a loud sigh and she turned around. Her shirt was covered in paint and she looked fabulously pretty like that. I kissed her cheek. "It's night you should be sleeping." "Gosh you're up too !"

 « I'm going to Hana parents's house for the day. I want her to meet them. They live in Seoul so I'm going today in train. I took an early train to arrive there in the late morning. » I decided not to drive after the crazy night we had.

Sujin nodded with a light smile. « Okay. You'll  stay there for the weekend ?  »

«Probably not at their house. I'll try to find  a hotel close enough. » I explained. She hummed for all answer. "I'll wait for Taeyang to eat breakfast. But there's kimchi stew downstairs, eat well before going, okay ?"

"Thanks. I'm starving , yesterday we fell asleep but now I'm just craving for your food." I explained to her. I kissed her cheek. "Don't bother coming down with us, I know you hate when the paint get dry."

Taeyang and I got downstairs to eat breakfast and soon we were ready to leave. We walked to our car and  I was ready to start driving when I remembered of the box. It was something I did for Hana, with souvenirs, gifts from Taeyang. I always told myself that one day if she came back, it would be so easy to give her that box. It would be a good idea to get rid of it today. I told Taeyang to wait for me in the car, I climbed up the stairs and took the box with me. I entered Sujin drawing room and kissed her goodbye. "Wait I'll walk you out." 

She came with me to the car and as I dropped the box on the passenger seat, she came  to Taeyang side and gave her a lollipop. Then, I poked her waist and she turned away. I kissed her softly. « Try to rest a bit in the train ...  and call me, okay ?»

Here you are ! A new chapter for you !