Before either can grab me, the floor crumbles beneath me and we all tumble down to the floor below, getting trapped under pieces of rubble.

 

Everything hurts. Every breath, every second. I must have broken something, somewhere. I can't tell where, all I can feel is the endless weight of the cement making it hard for me to do anything.

 

I hear Tae manage to get above it all only a handful of feet away, standing and calling for me.

 

"Y/N?" He is careful, rummaging through pieces above me.

 

I can't breathe. I can't speak. Time passes, and I start to hear people yelling and running as more time passes. But all I'm able to do is shut my eyes as the pain washes over me. In these moments, I miss the sunlight. I can't see it- where did it go?

 

Maybe in this world, sunlight no longer exists.

 

I shut my eyes, but it makes no difference. The sun is long gone, and there is no reason for them to remain open any longer.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Stop.

 

Who's making that noise? Turn it off.

 

Stop. Can't they see I'm trying to sleep? I'm in so much pain... I didn't hurt when I was asleep. But the beeping resonates in my head and makes my migraine throb.

 

Stop the noise. I don't care what it takes. I don't want this anymore. I don't want anything. I want to sleep and never hurt again.

 

Stop. I'll do it myself if I have to. My eyes open, and it's almost as if I haven't opened them in a hundred years.

 

There's no one here with me. I'm alone. I'm in a hospital room... well, in that case, that means that stupid, painful noise is my heart monitor.

 

I yank out the IV with all my energy, blinking as I look at my dark purple and blue arms. Okay, that's why everything hurts so bad. I'm covered in bruises.

 

I groan as the beeping blurs together into one steady line. That was not what I wanted- can't I get some damn piece and quiet??

 

The door suddenly flings open, and Yoongi runs to my side. He's concerned at first, but after looking me over her gaze turns into a scowl.

 

"Did you just pull out your IV?"

 

"I didn't like the beeping." I say as several nurses rush in to ensure I'm okay.

 

"Well, the beeping was the only thing letting us know you weren't dead." He frowns as the nurses fight with me to put it back in.

 

"Well, I'm not dead so I don't need the stupid IV. Turn the thing off and let me get out of this stupid hospital gown. I want my sweat pants."

 

"She's not exactly the quietest, huh?" A nurse asks Yoongi.

 

"You should see her when she's fully alert- the very definition of 'ie'."

 

" you Yoongi." I hiss as the nurse gets her wish and places the If back in, returning the familiar beeping back. She then proceeds to tape it to my arm with duct tape.

 

"I'd let you, but unfortunately you're a little worse for the wear. Actually, we both are." He sits at my side, and I can see several bruises on him as well. He's wrapped in bandages, some of which he's bled through.

 

"I'm assuming things didn't go well at the docks."

 

"They didn't." He says gently. "How much are you aware of?"

 

"The last thing I remember is the building collapsing."

 

"Makes sense. In total, the dock was six stories tall. When I met you in the hallway, we were on the second floor, just under a maitnence room. When the room collapsed, you were crushed under some pipes. Good news, it saved you from the endless layers of concrete, bad news is it put all the pressure in certain spots. You've broken your leg, a handful of ribs, and most bones in your left hand. Expect some intensive therapy and surgery."

 

"Great. I just love resting." I groan, and then wince.

 

"Well, at least you'll have company. A lot of agents were killed or are on their deathbed. They'll be resting up too."

 

"I don't like making friends, though. Just because they're agents doesn't mean I want to befriend them."

 

"Who said anything about making new friends?" He says softly.

 

"You're not telling me-"

 

"I know you and Hoseok were close. You've always bonded after you met. And I don't want to stress you out, but he's not well."

 

"What happened?"

 

"He was shot. And then, when the building collapsed..." he sighs. "Imagine when you pop a hole in an unopened water bottle and then squeeze."

 

"Is he okay?"

 

"He's alive." He says gently.

 

"But is he okay?"

 

"He's alive." He repeats, and my eyes widen.

 

"I have to go see him." I start to stand even though it hurts me greatly. The nurses carefully push me back into bed.

 

"You aren't allowed." He says.

 

"But-"

 

"No buts. If you behave, we'll move you into his room when his condition stabilizes- actually, when both of your conditions stabilize." He looks to my heart monitor which is beeping out of control.

 

"So you like him, huh?" He mumbles.

 

"Yoongi-"

 

"Forget about it." He gives me a hurt smile. "I'll let you heal, okay?"

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

"And that means no fighting, no jumping, no playing, no , no-"

 

"Mom!" I exclaim.

 

"I mean it." She growls. "I am not paying for more damn hospital bills."

 

"I will behave. I promise. Now can you keep it down? He's right there!" I hiss as Hoseok speaks with our resident nurse.

 

Upon being released, it was determined we both needed medical help even though the hospital would no longer provide for us. My rib is better, not perfect, and the bruises are not as bad as they once were.

 

Hoseok is in a similar boat, as he's recovered from blood loss but is still a mess. He's still trying to be cheerful, but when I don't watch o catch his pain.

 

So we live together for now. I think it will be fun... we get along so well.

 

"You're just very young for children-"

 

"Mom!"

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

"I'm fine, thank you." I wave away the nurse's food and Hoseok frowns.

 

"You haven't eaten at all today. Are you really okay?"

 

"I ate earlier. My stomach patterns are weird. They fall inbetween mealtimes." I lie.

 

"In which case, Wendy, please refrigerate the stew for us. I do think I'd like for Y/N and I to get on a similar eating schedule."

 

"Hey. She went into all the effort to make you food. You should eat."

 

"Says the one who refuses entirely."

 

"Wendy, please leave it for him." I say and she looks back and forth, trying to pick who she should listen to.

 

"Wendy, please do remember that Yoongi and I are good friends."

 

"And then remember that he listens to everything I say." I add and he frowns at me as she places the food down.

 

"Sorry Hobi." I say gently.

 

"Just because she's leaving it doesn't mean I'll eat it."

 

"You'll eat it or I'll make you eat." I respond back.

 

Wendy leaves us, knowing this is a fight we've had before. In fact, because we're two very similar people, this is the only fight we've ever had.

 

"I'm not hungry." He says, but his stomach growls.

 

"But you just-"

 

"I'm not deathly hungry." He corrects.

 

I watch him. I've been keeping my real feelings hidden ever since I moved in with him, but I think I need to manipulate him in order to get him to listen to me.

 

I pick up his bowl, and the scent makes me sick. He watches me curiously, and I bring the spoon into the stew. Getting a good spoonful, I look at him.

 

"Will you eat?" I ask.

 

"No." He says.

 

"Fine." I put it in my mouth, making him tilt his head.

 

"I thought you-"

 

I press my lips to his, waiting for him to move. He fidgets underneath me, trying to decide between the ability to take the kiss deeper or forcing me to swallow the food.

 

I carefully move closer, careful to not hurt either of us. When our torsos touch, he looses control and pushes my mouth open with his tongue. When the stew is entirely gone, I pull away.

 

"Was that so difficult?"

 

"Come back here." He pouts. "I wasn't done."

 

"You're also not done your food." I say. "Wasn't that good? Don't you want another bite?"

 

"Will you feed me again?" He asks and I roll my eyes.

 

I fill the spoon with stew, blow gently and then hold it to his lips. "Say ah."

 

"That's not what I meant."

 

"Beggers can't be choosers." I reply and he pouts again.

 

"Hoseok~" I say gently. "If you eat, I'll stop nagging. And besides, if you had just eaten when she brought it you could've been done by now."

 

He takes the bowl from me and starts eating, and slowly his hunger takes over and he digs in.

 

My stomach turns from the taste of the stew that lingers. I get up, off the couch and he grabs my wrist.

 

"Where are you going?"

 

"Relax. I'm going to the bathroom." I promise.

 

"How long will you be gone?" He pouts.

 

"If I come back after you finish eating, I'll reward you." I tell him.

 

"Is that a challenge?" He smirks.

 

"Take it as you will. If the bowl is done before I get back it will be a nice surprise."

 

I leave, entering the bathroom with a heavy sigh. You would think that I'm doing better, since I don't have to worry about the A.S.C. or being shipped off to New York. But coming home has been a living hell. I can't tell anyone anything about what I've seen or done in my past, because then I'll get arrested. Not even my family- I don't know what they'll tell Yoongi. I'm lying, hiding myself from everyone. And even worse, Hoseok knows. He knew from the moment I came home that I was different, and he's constantly trying to manipulate me into telling him. He's hurt that I won't trust him, but I can't.

 

And on top of that, there's still that knife. It'd be one thing if it was bloody and it was his, because I know he's a weapons specialist and may have accidentally injured himself or someone else during a showcase.

 

But it's not his. And who is C.J.?

 

I look at myself in the mirror. How anyone could love that? My hair is thin, my face sunken in, and I have deep bags under my eyes. You can see all my bones too...

 

I pull my phone out of my pocket, unlocking it. It's Jimin, Mark and I from a year ago, smiling and laughing happily as we were in our three-way shared bedroom with bunk beds. I look back up at the mirror. I don't think I remember how to smile. Or what it even felt like.

 

"Y/N! I'm done!" He calls.

 

"I'm coming!" I call back, but I'm still staring at myself and the picture.

 

I used to be so full of life- and I was pretty. Yeah, I was scared out of my mind but at least I trusted my family. I don't even trust myself.

 

"Y/N?" There's a knock on the door. "You okay?"

 

No. I'm not okay. I will never be okay ever again.

 

"I'm fine." I say.

 

"Can I come in?" He asks, and I know his hand is on the doorknob.

 

When I say nothing, he pushes it open. He sees me inspecting myself in the mirror, and it doesn't take more than a glance at my phone to understand exactly what's going through my mind.

 

"Hey." He turns me away, his hands on my waist as he makes me look at him. "Stop that. You're beautiful."

 

I look at the floor. I can't lie to him and say I agree with him, but I don't want to say anything else.

 

His fingers rest under my chin, tilting it so that I have to look at him as he leans in and presses a kiss to my lips.

 

"I'll tell you as many times as it takes. You're beautiful and I love you so much." He kisses me again. "And I want to see you heal so that you'll be the fun, smiley Y/N again. I was hoping that this was a physical thing- you were in pain but you'd heal and be the perfect you again... but it never happened." He hugs me tightly. "I want you to heal so you can be happy and safe again. But maybe you don't need a regular doctor. Should we go see someone?"

 

"I can't tell anyone about what's happening." A tear trickles down my cheek, and several other start to follow. "They'll take me away."

 

"Is the A.S.C. hurting you?"

 

"No." I shake my head. "No, they've left me alone."

 

"Then by they... do you mean the government?" He asks and I sob harder into his shoulder.

 

"Come with me to my room. We're both too weak to stay standing." He nuzzles my neck. "The government... isn't my best friend either. And I'll tell you my secret, and then I want you to tell me yours." He says.

 

"You're going to tell me who C.J. is?" I ask and he looks at me with his mouth in a hard line.

 

"Who told you that name?" He asks.

 

"I... I found this knife on your desk." I say and he sighs.

 

"Y/N... I'll tell you when we get upstairs, okay? It's very much a long story, and there's a lot to know." He sighs, and seems troubled.

 

"Did you kill her? C.J.?" I stop him. "Tell me."

 

"Y/N... C.J. was my mother." His voice cracks and I suddenly feel guilty for being so direct. "That knife is the only thing I have from either of my parents."

 

"I'm sorry." I hug him really tightly. "I shouldn't have been so forward."

 

"Let's talk upstairs." He pulls me by my hand. We pass Wendy in the hall, and she looks at us with a frown.

 

"Where are you two going?"

 

"I've finished eating and we'll be relaxing in upstairs until dinner."

 

"Doors open." She narrows his eyes. "Her ribs are still damaged you know."

 

"Wendy!" I exclaim.

 

"Her ribs wouldn't be what would receives a lot of force though."

 

"Hobi!" I exclaim at him.

 

"Door open."

 

"Doors have never stopped me before."

 

"Get out of here before I hit you."

 

"That was the plan." He grins at her before pulling me up the stairs.

 

When we arrive in his bedroom, he shuts the door halfway and we sit on his bed.

 

"Okay." He takes a deep breath. "So I'm an orphan, right?"

 

"For how long?" I ask.

 

"Since I was six." He speaks softly. "My parents were killed in the military. I stayed with their friends for a couple years, but when I heard they wanted to take me to an orphanage, I started to train to be a weapons specialist." He takes a deep breath. "They gave me the knife, saying it was all they could find off the bodies. And that made me think about my parent's death. We weren't out in fighting zone at all. We were in a quiet, little area. My parents felt safe having their son with them- meaning they didn't expect an attack."

 

"I did more research when I got older, and I discovered they were assassinated." He looked only at the ground. "I searched for years, but there was no trace. I never really stopped until I was transferred to your case."

 

"Why did you stop?"

 

"Someone is a little too needy to not occupy all of everyone's time." He brushed a hair behind my ear. "But I've been happier than I have in a long time, not thinking about them. Maybe I won't look anymore."

 

"Can I ask some questions?" I place my hand on his knee.

 

"Sure. What are you wondering?"

 

"You said you don't particularly like the government... what did they do?"

 

"When I realized the case was more than just them dying in the field, I asked for the investigation to be reopened. I needed the closure. They denied my wish. So when I started to dig around privately, they moved me out of the base and here, into Seoul. They claimed it was because they wanted me to reconnect with any living family... but I doubt that."

 

I take his hand. "Did you ever find out who did it?"

 

"I think it was the A.S.C." he says. "It was probably nothing personal. They probably received a contract and that was all they needed. It was so traceless and perfect, after all. They probably didn't even ask for my parents by name... it was likely just the question of break into this military base and kill this many people."

 

'I have my memories back... do I ask him so I can confirm his suspicions or do I leave it?' I wonder.

 

"Now your turn. What's been going on that's got you so scared out of your mind?"

 

"Yoongi... he wants to arrest me."

 

He looks at me like I've just slapped him in the face. "He wants to what?"

 

"When I was with the A.S.C. I did bad things... and if I remember everything, I'll be punished for it."

 

"Because they can't punish someone who isn't even aware they committed any crimes to begin with..." he murmured in thought.

 

"And that's why I'm scared. I don't want him to get any ideas."

 

"Okay. Here's what I would do in your position." He says. "Limit contact with Yoongi. Whether you know everything or not, if he has reason to suspect that you remember everything he can and will detain you."

 

I look at him in shock. "You're not on his side?"

 

"I said so earlier- I am no fan of the law." He says. "Who cares what you did then. The you now would never do anything bad unless she had to."

 

"Hobi-"

 

"Y/N." All of the sudden his hand is on my back and our foreheads are pressed together.

 

My breathing accelerates. "Hobi, what are you-"

 

"You like me, don't you? You would've have pulled that stunt earlier if you didn't."

 

"I- uh- well-"

 

"Just say yes, babe." His voice is low and y. "I like you too."

 

"Ah- you- but- I mean- I don't- you should-" I'm a mess, scrambling over twenty different excuses.

 

"Shh. Just say it. I like you, Hoseok."

 

"I... I like you... Hoseok..." I flush bright red and I can't look at him.

 

"Good girl. Was that so hard?" His hand goes under my chin and he pulls it up for a kiss.

 

"You know, shy Y/N is very interesting to me. I'm used to seeing the Y/N who likes to tear people to shreds."

 

"I still like tearing people to shreds." I mumble shyly.

 

"Do it then- say something mean." He smirks.

 

"You're stupid."

 

"Hm, but you're the one that's dating me so..."

 

"D-dating??" My eyes widen and he smirks.

 

"Well, that's what happens when two people like each other."

 

"B-but us?" I flush.

 

"Mmm... yes." He leans forward and kisses me again.

 

"Ah, Hobi, wait." I pull away.

 

"What's wrong?" He asks before kissing my neck.

 

"I have one more thing to confess." His teeth skim my skin, in a way to prod me forwards without his stopping.

 

"I... I do remember everything. Which is why I'm scared. Yoongi could take me away at any point."

 

"Let me confess one last thing too." He says as he eases me so I'm lying down. "I don't care."

 

Suddenly his hands are on me again, gentle and loving as he my arms.

 

"I'm going to quit my job." He says.

 

"Don't do it because of me." I frown.

 

"Get off your high horse. Not everything is about you, love." He says with a smile and I flush.

 

"I'm doing it because being reassigned to a weapon stock job would be so boring after working with you." He says. "I'd rather be a personal trainer or something. And besides, I want to stay with you."

 

"Hobi-"

 

"Sh..." he leans in and places his lips on mine again. "My feelings have been hidden for so long. Let them enjoy their moments of peace."

 

He's so gentle with me, probably afraid he will break me if he touches me the wrong way. I'm the same with him- when my fingers touch his hair, they are soft and afraid of hurting him. Well, he was concussed.

 

Eventually his hands do more than touch my face and arms, as he moves them to my sides. He freezes when he touches my hips, and pulls away.

 

"Y/N." He growls angrily.

 

"What?" I frown. "I didn't ask you to stop."

 

"What the hell is this?" He pulls up my shirt lightly, just showing me the bottom half of my torso. My ribs are showing, and my stomach seems sunken in. "What the hell happened to 'Hobi, you worry too much. I've been eating at least twice a day'!"

 

"I just haven't been hungry." I murmur.

 

"That's it. Hungry or not, you eat when I eat. And don't eat when I'm not around because I'll make you eat again." He frowns. "I clearly can't trust you to look after yourself."

 

He pulls my shirt down and carefully lifts me to my feet.

 

"Wendy!" He calls.

 

"What do you want?"

 

"Heat up the stew- Y/N is going to eat!"

 

"I just finished cleaning!"

 

"And I just finished scolding her, so make food!"

 

"You ungrateful brat." She comes down the hall and hits the side of my head.

 

"Ow! What was that for?"

 

"Well, I can't hit him because of his concussion. But hopefully he feels the emotion pain of being a jerk and making his real life bias pay."

 

"I feel nothing."

 

"."

 

"Come on. I'll get you a bowl." She sighs and Hobi pulls me along by the hand.

 

Who would've ever thought that I'd fall in love with my trainer? I mean, I've had a lot of bad trainers. Most of them were, anyways. Bitter that they were being underpaid, and saw my life as nothing more than a liability. If I could live long enough to go be someone else's problem, they'd be pleased.

 

But he was always different. He greeted me with a smile. He took my progress seriously. He praised my successes and scolded me on my failures. He worked me until I could only ever succeed.

 

I catch myself staring at Hobi several times, caught in his beautiful smile.

 

When he catches me before I do, he grins, and and puts his chin in his palm as he leans to look at me.

 

"If you spent half as much time eating as you do looking at me, I'd be taking you to a diet control office instead."

 

I flush, and look away while Wendy laughs.

 

"He has a point. Have you even blinked since you two came down?"

 

"Probably not- but why would she want to obstruct the view?"

 

"She may not want to obstruct it, but she does want it to shut the hell up."

 

"I was going to say , but that works."

 

"Such a potty mouth!"

 

"And somehow, we've both heard her say worse." Wendy rolls her eyes as she places a bowl in front of me. "Eat up kiddo."

 

Talking to Hobi really lifted a weight off my shoulders- I have nothing to be afraid of. He'll protect me. And even if he won't always make me happy, he'll always keep me safe. Exhibit A, this stew. He watches me take each bite, carefully analyzing to make sure I'm not faking it.

 

When I finish the bowl I feel sickly full, but Hobi's smile is enough to help me hold it down.

 

He's going to protect me- just like he always has. We'll stay safe, together. We'll figure things out, one small step at a time.

 

When he pulls me back up to his room, I expect us to continue where we left off. But he instead decides that we should cuddle, pulling me into a tight embrace as he nuzzles into my neck.

 

When Wendy comes in later to make sure we've behaved, we're both fast asleep.

 

I no longer sleep for the handful of hours of peace.

 

I'm already living the dream with Hoseok at my side.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

This is not the end, there's still one less bonus chapter :) Thank you for being a part of the process of my publishing Amnesia.

 

~The Fanfic Train