In Which We Kissed Again

Park Chorong

We were lying side by side, on soft and comfortable white bed.  The warmth which had gone for long time, finally could find its way home.  It was radiating the room, and even with my trembling body, I knew I was yearning for staying by her side.

“Bbom-ah…  Are you asleep?”  I said softly.  My back leaned on her chest while her arms gently wrapped my waist.

“Yeah, I am sleeping…”  She replied sleepily.

“Babo…  So, you’re talking while sleeping?”  I laughed softly.

“I can even play guitar while sleeping…”  She bluffed.

“Nonsense.”  I scoffed.

“I’ll show you later…”  She chuckled and pulled me closer to her.

I was silent and enjoying the moment with her.  Even the silence were soothing me, and I hoped this moment would last forever.

“So, are we dating again?”  Bomi asked unannounced.

I was startled and puzzled hearing her question.

“I don’t care whatever it will be called…  as long as you stay with me…”  I her hands which fit perfectly in my grip.

“Don’t you worry or uncertain over a thing?”  She asked in low tone, turning serious.

I turned my body around, facing closely to her sleepy face.

“Why?  You doubt this love?”  I looked into her somberly.

“You said that you want to start this over again, and will do better…  Why do I feel that you lost your confident?”  I continued.

“I don’t doubt our love.  The fact that you still look for me after what I’ve done to you, and also how I crazily want you to back prove that we both in love…  But, I still worry about a thing…”  She said softly.  Eyes fixed on my pleading eyes.

“You said you want me to live freely, and not to worry about a thing…”  I frowned.  Her words resembled what Changsub had said to me.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean that we can have a worry…”  She replied vaguely.

“How if…”

“Let’s settle it down here.  I don’t want to argue, just promise me that you’ll never leave my side…”  I interjected as I was afraid to hear her words.

I didn’t want to ruin the mood with any conversation about reality.  I was the one who against this kind of love, and desperately explained to her that our relationship would never work out.  But now, I could bear to away from her.  I knew I loved her.  I was not ready for separation.  I was not ready to wake up from this beautiful dream.  Dream that liked an ecstasy, bringing me floating on air and forgetting the rough ground below.

“I understand.  I’ll never let you go…  I’ll stay until you ask me to leave…”  She smiled warmly.

“You better not to mess up this time…”  I her cheek, then brought my lips on her small lips.

The tremor getting worse, but my heart felt lighter.  The feeling was still the same.

“I really love you…”  I retracted the kiss and looked into her eyes.

She cupped my face, then kissed my forehead.  The soft touch of her lips melting down the anxiety and the anger stored inside my heart.  I could not believe that she was the same girl who abused me at that damned night.

“I love you too…”  She formed a smile.  Kind yet empty.

I opened my mouth, about to say something about her awkward smile, but I hesitated and let it slide.  The bad answer might be revealed, and I did not want to change this happiness over other things.

When the sun creeping up from its way hiding, I was struggling to open my heavy lids.  I still sleepy as Bomi and I slept late last night because we were chattering over.  Realizing that Bomi was not on my bed, I panicked and rushed out, running toward her room and barging in hastily.

“Unnie?  What happened?”  She jerked away on her bed.

“I…  I just…  Why you’re here?”  I asked, trying not to sound nervous.

“I could not sleep last night.  You’re snoring loudly.”  She complained.

“Me?  Snoring?”  I asked in disbelief.

“Yeah…  Really loud.  You sounded like a bear.”  She giggled.

“I am a girl with modesty, Yoon Bomi.  Please don’t try to lie!”  I snapped.  My face was red, but I was not sure if it was because my embarrassment or because I was upset with Bomi who probably telling lie.

“You can listen it if you don’t believe it.  I recorded it because I knew you will say this…”  She swung her phone mischievously.

“Delete it now, Yoon Bomi!”  I stomped to her direction and tried to steal her phone away.

She nimbly avoided my attack while chuckling continuously.  I reached her to get her phone but she had a great strength and agility.  I lost my balance when my hand mere inch away from her phone, causing me to stumble and fall on her.

Our eyes meet each other, and my lip was right under her breath.  I shifted my gaze down to her lips, and reddened as the stare was intense and full of hunger.  The scene of that night eas coming back, but it did not reduce my will to touch her seductive lips.  The softness and the warmth of her lips sending me electrifying sensation through my finger tips to my tense veins.

“Unnie…”  Her raspy voice broke my admiration over her cute lips.

“Can I kiss you?”  She asked as I was still immersed into her lips curves.

“If only you’re being gentle this time…”  I replied softly.

“That cursed night would never happen anymore…  I promise…”  Her words were sincere and successfully nailed me.

I spread a smile which didn’t last long as she pulled me closer to her and kissed my lips.  So sweet and tenderly.  She did it really gentle this time.  Brushing and swallowing my whole lips in slow circle, tasting every seam which twitched tentatively reacting to her motion.  Her palm printed on the back of my nape, while her other free hand gently rubbing my waist.

I rested my hands on her shoulders, and felt her above me.  Warm and comfortable.  We kissed sweetly and slowly for a while until we ran out of breath and slowly broke the kiss.  We stared to each other, and burst into laughter, realizing how crazy we were.  After so much drama we finally kissed again, and although my fear over her still existed, I dared myself to run into her—to hold her tightly so she could never leave me.

“Let’s take it slowly…  to love again…”  She said under her heavy breath.

“Eung…  please love me right this time…”

“I will.”

***

“What are you doing here, Changsub-ah?”  I strode past him who was leaning on the wall beside my apartment.

“You don’t want to be my friend again?  So, I cannot see you again?  Is that what you really want?”  He asked in broken voice.

I pressed the password and opened the door.

“Let’s talk inside.”  I said coolly and ushered him inside my room.

“How’s everything?”  He said, taking seat on my couch.

I took off my coat and hung it neatly on my wardrobe before appearing back to join him on the couch.

“I am doing good.  We're together now.”  I said calmly.

“What?”  He frowned.  “Bomi and you?”

“Yes.  We decide to start it over again.”  I tried to sound confident.

“Park Chorong…”  He hissed.

“I know what you’ve said to me are mostly true.  I should think about my future, and hers…  If I can choose, I also don’t want this kind of love…  I also want to fall in love with—normal person, but my heart chooses its owner, Changsub-ah…  It cannot be denied.”  I rattled.

“How about your future?  Your parent?  Her parent?  Society?  Are you sure you can face those complicated things?”  He sounded frustrated.

“We’ll take care of it.”  I said although I was not really sure about what I was going to do.

“You will get hurt more if you are being with her longer.  Sooner or later you’ll face the consequences, and I am worry whether you’re ready or not…  I am being like this because I don’t want to see you sad, and hurt…”  He reached out my hands and brought it on his lap.

“I know you always do.  You never want to hurt me.  I know it very well.”  I smiled kindly.

“Then why you keep doing this?”  He mourned, the back of my palms.

“Because I love her.  I am sure about it.”  I faced him confidently.

His intense gaze softened, and a trace of sincere smirk formed from the curve of his lips.

“I can never win against you…”  He said softly.

“Hopefully, you’ll be stronger this time.  You haven’t completely healed yet.  When the problem begins to rise, and you have to deal with your parent and society—your illness, fear, and anxiety will make the pain worse.  I sincerely don’t want this thing happens.  But if you are in your weakest state, and your worst condition, you should know that I’ll always be there for you.”  He said sincerely.

I could not help but crying.  He did his best for being my best friend.  He only cared about my happiness above anything.  I had no clue to face everything if I did not have him.  Somehow, I felt bad because I always be the one who received, while he was the one who gave me enormous affection and protection.

“Let me just take responsibility of my doing, Changsub-ah.”  I retracted my hands and leaned closer, giving him a hug with so much love and care.

“But I cannot promise you not to step into your business…  I should protect the one who is precious to me…”  He said, brushing his chin on my fragile shoulder.

“I know you’ll still