In Which She Was Back

Yoon Bomi

I was strolling along the path in stumbled steps as frequently bumped into other people using the sidewalk.  My eyes staring blankly on the ground, sobbing hard as I recalled the times Chorong unnie and I were so much in love—and when I neglected her—and when I did something disgusting which I believed was badly hurt her.

I found a bench, and sat there desperately.  I buried my face in my palms and began to bawl loudly like a baby.  I could feel people’s eyes on me, but I completely ignored it.  All I needed now was to scream out loud my regret and anger which accumulated inside my head.

I came back to my house after midnight, after I was conscious enough to drag my heavy legs entering the house.  I was scanning around the room, and I knew that Chorong unnie had not come home yet.  She might have a dramatic time with Eunji.  And the picture of her bawling inside Eunji’s arms slightly gave me a hard punch.  I used to be the one who console her—who wiped her tears—but now I was a monster, who was being abusive and made her frightened and cry hardly.

The next day, she was not home too.  I wondered about what she was doing with Eunji, spending the night together.  I decided to let her go, and to stepped away from her—but still, I would never accept it completely seeing her with another person.

Another day passed, and I did not see her coming home for a week, and I started to worry her, and wondering if she had decided to leave this house.  I opened her room, letting the air entering her room.  Her belongings were still in place, neat and clean, and I did not think that she would leave her hundred books, her watches collection, and her expensive clothes behind.

I began to worry badly when she had not come home for a week.Going for class, working endlessly, doing music, and even hanging out with my friends could not distract my mind not to think about her.

And that evening, I was lying on the couch while watching TV, but my mind was not completely on it.  It was somewhere else seeking the news about her.  I heard the bell ringing, and I got up immediately, and ran hastily toward front door.  I stopped for a while before opening the door, controlling my breath, and my face to look cool.

I opened the door and saw Eunji was standing there in black shirt and ripped jeans beneath oversized denim jacket.

“What are you doing here?”  I frowned.

“I am looking for Chorong unnie.”  She answered coldly.

“She’s not here.”  I said.  Puzzling away as I thought she was with Eunji the whole time.

“What?  I could barely contact her for a week, so that I am coming here, willing to check her condition.”  She raised her eyebrow.

“She’s not come home for a week, after that night.  I though you two spending good times together.”  I said wryly.

“What do you mean about she’s not come home for a week.  She dropped me off in front of my apartment that night, refusing to be accompanied by me.  I thought she’s going home.”  Eunji raised her voice, starting to worry.

“I swear she has not made a step inside this house since that night.”  I began to panic too.

Eunji strode over me, entering the house and hastily walking toward Chorong unnie’s room and checked inside.  She continued her steps to the bathroom, and her face turned desperately pale.

“Where the hell she is going!”  She kicked the air.

“I don’t know what you did that night to her—but I know it was something really bad.  If something ever happened to her—I’ll kill you with my own hand, Yoon Bomi!”  She shifted her eyes on me, glaring with eyes full of fury.

“I’ll call her cousins.”  I could hide my worry and nervously looking for my phone.

Once I found my phone I quickly dialed Naeun’s number.  I was waiting worriedly, and I got no answer.  I looked for Hayoung’s number, and quickly dial it, and I was also got no response.  I recalled them several times, and I could only get disappointment.

“!”  I cursed, kicking the air like what Eunji did before.

“They did not answer?”  Eunji asked.

“No, they didn’t.”  I murmured in depression.

“I’ll call Changsub.”  I quickly looked at my phone and dialed it.

“He’s not answering.”  I said in despair after trying to reach him more than ten times.

“I told you to take care of her—why did you leave her?!”  I snapped, blaming Eunji for Chorong unnie’s disappearance.

“Don’t blame me, Yoon Bomi!  You’re the one who cause her being this way!”  She yelled back, widening her eyes and giving sharp gaze on me.

“It doesn’t matter—I want to find her soon…”  I lifted my hands in surrender and walked away.

I walked toward the couch and plonked myself on it, crouching around as my eyes staring blankly on the top plafond.

“I’ll go home.  Please call me if you hear anything about her.”  Eunji appeared in my sight, standing and looking down on me.

My anger and dejection toward Eunji slowly got redeemed by the fact that we both shared the same worries and concerns over Chorong unnie.

“I’ll tell you everything…  and I hope you too…”  I said softly before ushering Eunji to leave.

The next day, I was waiting in front of Chorong unnie’s class, wishing that I would get some news about her, or probably met her directly.  Almost all of the students already went out, but Chorong unnie was nowhere to be seen.  I ran after one of her friend and asked whether he knew anything about Chorong unnie’s absence.

“No one knows where she goes.  We haven’t seen her for a week which quite rare as we know that she never misses the class.”

“Oh…  I got it…  Thank you…”

I kept wandering around her class, and at the place she visited based on her schedule for a week straight, and purposely asking for days off for a week as I wanted to search Chorong unnie so badly.  Even her teacher and instructor were surprised when I asked them about her.  They also had no clue where she was going, and even not attending several courses she regularly had.  Eunji also did not make any significant progress about finding Chorong unnie, and I began to give up as I thought she might really leave.  She was rich and would never mind if she left luxurious belongings behind.

***

It was nearly Christmas when I finally accepted the fact that Chorong unnie already left the house.  I kept her stuffs in place, and regularly cleaned up her room just in case she came back, although I know it might never happened.

That night, I was shivering after coming back from work.  It was really cold outside, and my whole body was feeling like frozen.  I had just done making a hot chocolate when I heard the bell ringing.  I took as sip of my chocolate before I headed toward the door and opened it.  I was shocked when I saw Chorong unnie’s squad—Changsub, Naeun, and Hayoung was standing there.  I peeped over their shoulder and saw Chorong unnie was standing behind Hayoung with the hand linked tightly to Hayoung’s arm.

“Rong unnie…”  I screeched excitedly seeing her.

“Why don’t you let us going inside first, Yoon Bomi.”  Changsub who was standing at the front said hoarsely.

“Aaaaa…  I am too excited seeing her…  Please come in…”I made a way for them to enter the house.

I was still smiling broadly without realizing that they were staring at me in piercing gaze the whole time.

Chorong unnie walked past me, looking down on the floor while being clingy to Hayoung.  I reached my hand to tap her shoulder but she flinched away, and began to shiver.

“Do…  Don’t touch me…”  She said stuttered.

I watched her in questioned look.  She was getting more beautiful than the last time I saw her.  She cut her bang shorter, and dyed her wavy hair in blonde.  But, she was much paler and thinner, and I could tell that she was a bit unwell now.

“Unnie?”  I frowned, observing her behavior which looked a bit strange.

“Bring her to her room…  I’ll talk to Bomi…”  Changsub instructed Naeun and Hayoung in deep voice.

I watched them disappeared behind the door, and shifted my eyes to Changsub with in puzzled.

“Do you have something to drink?”  He asked.

“Juice?”  I offered, and walked toward the refrigerator to take the orange juice.

He followed me behind and sat on the barstool.  I innocently took a seat beside him after putting the juice in front of him.

“Where she has been?  It’s been about a month since she left without notice.”  I asked curiously.

Changsub gulped down the juice, and put it back on the island, then faced me in dangerous eyes.  I watched him cautiously as I sensed something bad might happen.

“I beg you to leave this house, Yoon Bomi…”  He said in clenched teeth.

“What?  You cannot ask me to leave my house…”  I furrowed hearing his absurd utterance.

“I’ll pay the compensation, and even pay for your new place, but please leave this place…”  He said, softer for now.

“Why do I have to leave?”  I raised my voice as I was getting annoyed.

“Please lower your voice…”  He signaled me to calm down.

“It’s for Chorong’s sake.”  He continued.

“I still could not get the point.”  I raked my hair.

“I don’t want to ask you the detail about the night you frightened her as I might cannot keep my promise not to hit woman, but I’ll forgive you if you step out of this house.”  He muttered in a firm tone, and I began to draw back my guilty with me as I recalled the shot when I could control my lust and almost did something really bad to Chorong unnie.

“What happened to her?”  I asked weakly.

“She’s sick.”  He spat.

My brain pondering of Chorong’s behavior before.  She avoided eye-contact, hid away, and trembled badly when I tried to touch her.  My beast side that night must be the absolute reason why she was being like that.  I hurt her physically—and her psychology.

“I’ll keep staying here.  It’s my fault to make her like this.  I’ll make her better.”  I murmured softly, and tears began to fill the edge of my eyes.<