✍️ All Of Him|| Review
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REVIEWER'S NOTES | Hello ^^ Elsa here. Please do comment your feedback of the review. Hope you like it ^^
TITLE (005/005)
The title, according to my opinion has quite very good relevance in the story. It also shows that Chanyeol having feelings for Baekhyun, and he just loves all of him. The song lyrics, were also a perfect use. It may not be that eye-catching, but you’ve matched the sad mood to a lonely title. I may not be that creative, but the relevance was good and since it I’ve seen many people use it, it is kinda mainstream. But you’ve used it well throughout the story, bringing the title into the highlight as well. It displays a romantic effect also. Short and Sweet. No overuse, you just got it right ! Even though all may not know it’s a song lyric, It suits the story well and you’ve got no problems around that area ^^ The chapter title made it look like it’s the end where anything can happen; ‘Finale’. Good work!
DESCRIPTION/FOREWORD (010/010)
The description was cute, short and gives that first push to the story. Normally authors just do it in the description. But you’ve continued it to the foreword for more information which first was confusing but can be related. It explains the base without revealing the , Perfect Work. It sure makes people want to read, It is eye-catching and clean and neat without any sparks and intrigues the readers to find more also because of the positioning of the description of the story. It gives a cute, sad and romantic starting vibe. They way you used very simple words in the description and how you changes into all the complicated vocabulary was not expected, it was really good.
CHARACTERIZATION (018/020)
You used the main characters quite well i.e; Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, everyone got their roles in it. You’ve also added EXO into it, but I wish you could use a little more. Someone with a rebel, someone with intense care and someone with neutrality. All of EXO had intense care towards the feelings of the couple and you exaggerated more on D.O, because he is one of the leads. Being the lead, I feel his roles were less. If there was more EXO into it, people with different biases can also enjoy well. Chanyeol just as in the description, is depressed and shy to come out with his feelings. And Baekhyun in his own depressed world about Taeyoen who left him. Everything starts with a sadness from both of them which turns into something much cuter. The genre you prefered to show and the genre on display, matched really well ! It also shows a possessive Chanyeol wanting to protect and to not see Baekhyun crying. You used Taeyoen’s role also quite well. Man, I always wanted Taeyoen in a Chanbaek story and thank you for bringing her into this. Taeyeon is a rude woman who just thinks about her life and her feelings and not the others. Rejected Chanyeol, Dejected Baekhyun. They are adorable! Everyone has distinct personalities and no-one has been reused, so you’ve scored there. The personalities was consistent and also was the story.
PLOT (018/020)
The plot was really sweet and sad. You’ve dragged me into the story with your skills. It first gives a nervous started. ‘the damage is already done’ That gave me goosebumps in the good way. They both want each other, but they both won’t show, but at last, it is done, without fail. Bringing the relationship of Taeyeon and Baekhyun into light as the depression of the main character, was also a good idea and you covered it up very well. The plot was a bit too fast, I felt. Since the scenes keep changing and the scene does not like register into my mind. Once it is about to, the scene transfers. If you could make it a little bit more slower in the sense, describing the arena, it would be nice. The part while they were in the bus was nice, but I felt that it was just too mainstream as in most dramas they replay it. But since you described the feelings well, we got to know now, how it feels. In another part where it was written “she has stolen his very first kiss….” Does that mean Baekhyun regretted it at that time or while he was in the story? But, however, it’s sounded really sad. As if, she does not appreciate that kiss. A lil bit confusion there, that’s it, the rest are, understandable with the flow and timing. Except that it was just a little but too fast. You gave it a happy ending, glad you did, so tempting and beautiful. There were no plotholes, it was complete, from the top to the bottom.
WRITING STYLE (020/020)
Your writing style, may I say, marvelous. It sounded so majestic for me, as the words were describing beauty and love in the complicated way. Your writing style was more than perfect. You bought in the negative vibe of sadness and immerse the readers into it. For one moment you made me hate Taeyoen. (it’s not that I hate her, I am telling that your writing style was really good) With very sincere words, it was a beauty. There were enough descriptions with your dialogues and it is very much emotion grabbing. It has quite twisted words, which I didn’t know, but that’s a fault on my area. ‘Awkwardly comfortable’ the perfect description. With the words you use, we can easily visualize the stories, just reducing the rushing up would have been better. Overall, it was understandable, enjoyable and which touched our heart, You’ve got your goal right, so no worries.
GRAMMER (020/020)
No mistakes, perfect around here. The word choices as I told, was gorgeous, good for romance. Fancy and Complicated but suited the story well. It’s just that I had to google it XD. No spelling mistakes, no punctuation mistakes and no grammar mistake either. Let’s move on from here.
PERSONAL ENJOYMENT (004/005)
I enjoyed it really well as the description was quite nice. Also the plot also dragged me in. Except for a confusion, and the fast scene changes as I’ve told above, nothing’s basically wrong. Also the improvement of characters would have enhanced the interest for some readers. So, other than that, You’ve just got it right. The chapter title was nice also the ending was adorable!
TOTAL SCORE (095/100)
REVIEWER'S ADVICE:
Since I read chanbaek, I enjoyed it real good. But if you just slightly give the EXO members a bit more dialogues and roles, it would have helped. I don't think I can tell you anything to 'improve', 500+ subcribers is not joke. Your writing style is BOMB! I wish you can write more with your amazing talent. FIGHTING! Feel free to PM or Wall Post me if you have any doubt or need any help ^^ Hope you are satisfied with the results.
-indiankpopelsa <3
The title, according to my opinion has quite very good relevance in the story. It also shows that Chanyeol having feelings for Baekhyun, and he just loves all of him. The song lyrics, were also a perfect use. It may not be that eye-catching, but you’ve matched the sad mood to a lonely title. I may not be that creative, but the relevance was good and since it I’ve seen many people use it, it is kinda mainstream. But you’ve used it well throughout the story, bringing the title into the highlight as well. It displays a romantic effect also. Short and Sweet. No overuse, you just got it right ! Even though all may not know it’s a song lyric, It suits the story well and you’ve got no problems around that area ^^ The chapter title made it look like it’s the end where anything can happen; ‘Finale’. Good work!
DESCRIPTION/FOREWORD (010/010)
The description was cute, short and gives that first push to the story. Normally authors just do it in the description. But you’ve continued it to the foreword for more information which first was confusing but can be related. It explains the base without revealing the , Perfect Work. It sure makes people want to read, It is eye-catching and clean and neat without any sparks and intrigues the readers to find more also because of the positioning of the description of the story. It gives a cute, sad and romantic starting vibe. They way you used very simple words in the description and how you changes into all the complicated vocabulary was not expected, it was really good.
CHARACTERIZATION (018/020)
You used the main characters quite well i.e; Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, everyone got their roles in it. You’ve also added EXO into it, but I wish you could use a little more. Someone with a rebel, someone with intense care and someone with neutrality. All of EXO had intense care towards the feelings of the couple and you exaggerated more on D.O, because he is one of the leads. Being the lead, I feel his roles were less. If there was more EXO into it, people with different biases can also enjoy well. Chanyeol just as in the description, is depressed and shy to come out with his feelings. And Baekhyun in his own depressed world about Taeyoen who left him. Everything starts with a sadness from both of them which turns into something much cuter. The genre you prefered to show and the genre on display, matched really well ! It also shows a possessive Chanyeol wanting to protect and to not see Baekhyun crying. You used Taeyoen’s role also quite well. Man, I always wanted Taeyoen in a Chanbaek story and thank you for bringing her into this. Taeyeon is a rude woman who just thinks about her life and her feelings and not the others. Rejected Chanyeol, Dejected Baekhyun. They are adorable! Everyone has distinct personalities and no-one has been reused, so you’ve scored there. The personalities was consistent and also was the story.
PLOT (018/020)
The plot was really sweet and sad. You’ve dragged me into the story with your skills. It first gives a nervous started. ‘the damage is already done’ That gave me goosebumps in the good way. They both want each other, but they both won’t show, but at last, it is done, without fail. Bringing the relationship of Taeyeon and Baekhyun into light as the depression of the main character, was also a good idea and you covered it up very well. The plot was a bit too fast, I felt. Since the scenes keep changing and the scene does not like register into my mind. Once it is about to, the scene transfers. If you could make it a little bit more slower in the sense, describing the arena, it would be nice. The part while they were in the bus was nice, but I felt that it was just too mainstream as in most dramas they replay it. But since you described the feelings well, we got to know now, how it feels. In another part where it was written “she has stolen his very first kiss….” Does that mean Baekhyun regretted it at that time or while he was in the story? But, however, it’s sounded really sad. As if, she does not appreciate that kiss. A lil bit confusion there, that’s it, the rest are, understandable with the flow and timing. Except that it was just a little but too fast. You gave it a happy ending, glad you did, so tempting and beautiful. There were no plotholes, it was complete, from the top to the bottom.
WRITING STYLE (020/020)
Your writing style, may I say, marvelous. It sounded so majestic for me, as the words were describing beauty and love in the complicated way. Your writing style was more than perfect. You bought in the negative vibe of sadness and immerse the readers into it. For one moment you made me hate Taeyoen. (it’s not that I hate her, I am telling that your writing style was really good) With very sincere words, it was a beauty. There were enough descriptions with your dialogues and it is very much emotion grabbing. It has quite twisted words, which I didn’t know, but that’s a fault on my area. ‘Awkwardly comfortable’ the perfect description. With the words you use, we can easily visualize the stories, just reducing the rushing up would have been better. Overall, it was understandable, enjoyable and which touched our heart, You’ve got your goal right, so no worries.
GRAMMER (020/020)
No mistakes, perfect around here. The word choices as I told, was gorgeous, good for romance. Fancy and Complicated but suited the story well. It’s just that I had to google it XD. No spelling mistakes, no punctuation mistakes and no grammar mistake either. Let’s move on from here.
PERSONAL ENJOYMENT (004/005)
I enjoyed it really well as the description was quite nice. Also the plot also dragged me in. Except for a confusion, and the fast scene changes as I’ve told above, nothing’s basically wrong. Also the improvement of characters would have enhanced the interest for some readers. So, other than that, You’ve just got it right. The chapter title was nice also the ending was adorable!
TOTAL SCORE (095/100)
REVIEWER'S ADVICE:
Since I read chanbaek, I enjoyed it real good. But if you just slightly give the EXO members a bit more dialogues and roles, it would have helped. I don't think I can tell you anything to 'improve', 500+ subcribers is not joke. Your writing style is BOMB! I wish you can write more with your amazing talent. FIGHTING! Feel free to PM or Wall Post me if you have any doubt or need any help ^^ Hope you are satisfied with the results.
-indiankpopelsa <3
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