✍Seeking You || Review
Roses' Shop ArchiveREMINDERS
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004: BOTH REVIEWS AND GRAPHICS ARE TO BE CREDITED IN YOUR FOREWORD, LINKED WITH THE BANNER below.
REVIEWER'S NOTES | A good story, needs a beta reader.
Title (000/005)
Honestly, the title has nothing to do with the story. Also is there a point to naming the chapters after flowers? If not, I suggest you should probably change them.
description/foreword (008/010)
Your description is okay. However I wouldn’t practically sum up the whole story in the Description. Instead try something like “After losing both her parents…” Your Forward is also okay.
characterization (010/020)
You seem to be struggling a bit with Sena’s character. One minute she is the weak character who is afraid of her own shadow and then she’s a tiger lady, who is too stubborn to do what she’s told. Which is she? What do you intend for her to become? When you write, think about who she is and look through her point of view. How would she react in this situation to meet your expectations?
plot (020/020)
I love the plot line. Don’t change it. It’s got the perfect mixture of comedy and that occasionally fleeting romance. It also captures a good picture of Exo’s real personalities.
writing style (007/020)
You have a very rough transition. You seem to jump from one scene to the next without giving more support or details. For example in the first chapter, you have Sena flinching to see Luhan shoved into his locker but then she becomes all angry tiger lady at the bullies. Then you suddenly have the bullies running off and so on. You should take a step back and reread. Take some time to describe the surroundings/how people look/reactions. Not only will that add smoother transitions, they will give your story length and development. Being too abrupt or too quick with information can be a lot for your readers to take in all at once thus throwing them off the plot. Also readers will appreciate the long chapter after waiting a long time even if half of it is made up from detailed description.
grammAr (010/020)
You have a couple of misspellings, missing commas, and sometimes extra periods. What I would suggest is that you write your chapter then leave it alone for a couple of days. Also have you thought about getting a beta reader? It's a habit of authors to tend to skim right over their own mistakes because they usually used to how their stories look. Many authors, including myself, have this problem. A beta-reader will fix the mistakes that you miss because since it’s their first time reading your story which allows them to pick up mistakes much easier. Although these mistakes maybe small, they can actually disrupt a reader’s actual enjoyment of the story.
Personal enjoyment (004/005)
I absolutely loved the story! I did, however, take a point off because nothing distracts me more than grammar. In my opinion, it’s frustrating to read such a good story and find grammar mistakes that can easily be fixed. It drives me, personally, insane.
total score (059/100)
reviewer's advice:
I would hire a beta reader. We have several betas here that you are welcomed to check out. Otherwise, I hope you’re not discouraged by this review. This really is an excellent story.
Honestly, the title has nothing to do with the story. Also is there a point to naming the chapters after flowers? If not, I suggest you should probably change them.
description/foreword (008/010)
Your description is okay. However I wouldn’t practically sum up the whole story in the Description. Instead try something like “After losing both her parents…” Your Forward is also okay.
characterization (010/020)
You seem to be struggling a bit with Sena’s character. One minute she is the weak character who is afraid of her own shadow and then she’s a tiger lady, who is too stubborn to do what she’s told. Which is she? What do you intend for her to become? When you write, think about who she is and look through her point of view. How would she react in this situation to meet your expectations?
plot (020/020)
I love the plot line. Don’t change it. It’s got the perfect mixture of comedy and that occasionally fleeting romance. It also captures a good picture of Exo’s real personalities.
writing style (007/020)
You have a very rough transition. You seem to jump from one scene to the next without giving more support or details. For example in the first chapter, you have Sena flinching to see Luhan shoved into his locker but then she becomes all angry tiger lady at the bullies. Then you suddenly have the bullies running off and so on. You should take a step back and reread. Take some time to describe the surroundings/how people look/reactions. Not only will that add smoother transitions, they will give your story length and development. Being too abrupt or too quick with information can be a lot for your readers to take in all at once thus throwing them off the plot. Also readers will appreciate the long chapter after waiting a long time even if half of it is made up from detailed description.
grammAr (010/020)
You have a couple of misspellings, missing commas, and sometimes extra periods. What I would suggest is that you write your chapter then leave it alone for a couple of days. Also have you thought about getting a beta reader? It's a habit of authors to tend to skim right over their own mistakes because they usually used to how their stories look. Many authors, including myself, have this problem. A beta-reader will fix the mistakes that you miss because since it’s their first time reading your story which allows them to pick up mistakes much easier. Although these mistakes maybe small, they can actually disrupt a reader’s actual enjoyment of the story.
Personal enjoyment (004/005)
I absolutely loved the story! I did, however, take a point off because nothing distracts me more than grammar. In my opinion, it’s frustrating to read such a good story and find grammar mistakes that can easily be fixed. It drives me, personally, insane.
total score (059/100)
reviewer's advice:
I would hire a beta reader. We have several betas here that you are welcomed to check out. Otherwise, I hope you’re not discouraged by this review. This really is an excellent story.
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