001: IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY WITH THE REVIEWS/GRAPHICS, DO A PERSONAL MESSAGE TO ME, OR THE REVIEWER/DESIGNERS THEMSELVES. 

002: COMMENT AFTER YOU'VE PICKED UP THE REVIEW / GRAPHIC SO THAT WE KNOW. WE'RE NOT PSYCHICS.

003: POSTERS SHOULD BE USED AS THE MAIN POSTER FOR AT LEAST A WEEK AFTER PICKED UP. AFTER THAT, YOU CAN DO HOWEVER YOU PLEASE WITH IT. 

004: BOTH REVIEWS AND GRAPHICS ARE TO BE CREDITED IN YOUR FOREWORD, LINKED WITH THE BANNER below.

I think it was a neat foreward. It reveals little, but tells a lot. Looking at it, I can foreshahow ther past and that helps the readers with the actual chapter readings. The foreward was pretty sad. Although, I suggest taking one part out. 

"In the twelve months on, I won't make friends with change

But no sound came out from my open mouth, and I failed everything I was trying to do." 

This sentence does not go with the rest and are a tad put of place. I really like the simplicity of this foreward because it is not dragged on nor it is lengthy, although it explains so many. The grammar here is great and it seems even better as you do not have a beta, meaning your grammar and English are superb. It was a great way to start a story.

characterization  (015/020)

There really isn't anything distinct I see in your characterization. Since the main characters have almost to no interactions with each other, there is no way to tell how great/bad your characters are showcased. So far, I see that both of them are very regretful(?) .

None of them has a strong impact on this story so far. Anyways, the charcters seem more into thought than actions along with dialogues. I think that the only characterizations I have are their thoughts to THEMSELVES [not counting the flasbacks], therefore I do not understand how their reactions would differ in different situations. 

Even so, the way you reveal their feelings really help. So far, there are only about 3 main characters, which is very little. They have their own personalities, but Ana and Taeyong are kind of similar in some aspects. Good thing is that they don't change!
 
Sometimes I am confuse with Ana's stance. Is she a strong person, or a fragile girl? She wavers between the line which makes me think differently of her than what you, the author, might think. You have to show their personalities clear cut, each one of them having their own distinct way of thinking and speaking.

plot  (012/020)

The plot is on the cliche side of the scale. To me, it's unoriginal and the only difference is this has more angst. I mean, two people regetting, a dark past, that's all done before in many stories in the past.
 
Also, the plot is a little slow for me. You are already six chapters in and they haven't met each other? It's best to pick up the pace so readers will not get bored early and quit. I think that when you anticipate too much on writing the angst, you confuse the readers. Many people might be frustrated with not knowing what has happened and it doesn't really seem like you are going to tell us any time soon. It's not really fun to read when you are given the bottiom half without seeing the top.
 
This story is too based off of flashbacks that there are barely any modern times. This worsens the chaacterizations because we need to know how the characters now will react in different situations now.  So far, no plotholes are found except for the reason they left each other - even though I already have an idea. THis will obviously be told in the future so there is nothing wrong there.
 

writing style (017/020)

This style is not emotion grabbing at all, majority of the reasons is because the scenes are not really significant. You have to make us emphasize by exagerrating more in their feelings. Although, your setence structures are very good. There are not many simple sentences but complex and compound.  I enjoy how you can explain what is going on in the story without using many dialogues and only have it when nessasary. This is better than overflowing words which does not do the story any good. Furthermore, the visualization is hard because the setting is not explained well. I think many authors have problems with this requirement and it's very common. Just remember to add in more details when explaining your surroundings.

grammer  (018/020)


Your words are very simple and are about as complex as a fifth grader.  A piece of advice is to use a thesaurus and switch out some of the words.

For example:

pretty to beautiful

cute to adorable

She looks even more hurt. to Her features morphed into a look of pain.

Even though these are only little changes, if you transform more words,the writing will be significantly different.

From what I see, your spelling is near perfect. There are little to no mispellings which is wonderful to see.

Also, sometimes, you need to remember that sentences can not start with a conjunction or end with one.

Personal enjoyment (005/005)

Even though I rarely voluntarily read OCs or straight for that matter, I really enjoy this story. The idea is good, but I feel like the flow could be faster. The cliffhangers at the end really get to me xD that it feels like I'm watching a drama. This is a great fanfic so just fix a little bit and you'll be fine.

total score (079/100)


reviewer's advice:

Fasten the pace
Use better vocabulary
Reread your story for some plotholes you might have miss
There is really no need for a beta, so you don't have to think about that.