✍️Cos I Like You || Review
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Title (005/005)
It’s cliche, but it fits the story really well, and you really emphasized that with the way that you tied it all up at the end. I think that the title also reflects the adorableness of the story.
description/foreword (008/010)
I liked the description. It was straight to the point, but didn’t give too much away. It was vague enough to entice people to read it. When it comes to descriptions, I think that it all comes down to preferences. Personally, I like simplified descriptions and forewards.
characterization (017/020)
I think that Hakyeon’s bright and charming personality was what really carried this story and made it interesting. I appreciate that you didn’t make Leo a flat and emotionless character, and the dynamic between the two of them was well written. Leo is adorable. You wrote him so adorably. Despite the plethora of eloquential vocabulary I could use, I can do nothing but call Leo cute and adorable a million times over. His secretive crush on Hakyeon left me rooting for him. Hakyeon really knew how to cater to Leo’s needs and communicate with his awkwardness.
plot (015/020)
At first, I wasn’t too fond of the idea of Leo being mute, but as I read on, I became quite intrigued as to his predicament. The fact that he could speak but choose not to left me curious. Some of the dialogue seemed kind of pointless and questionable at times (more towards the beginning) and it felt like filler more than anything. Fillers are okay, but it should never be so blatantly obvious to the point of awkwardness. You managed to capture the whole calm and serene coffee shop atmosphere quite well, so I definitely have to commend you on that. I’ll be honest, I don’t listen to Vixx really, and the only members I know are Hakyeon and Leo. I’ve never read a Vixx fic before and wouldn’t read any in my free time, but I have to admit that there were cute moments that made me smile. I think that you paced this one-shot pretty well. The build up wasn’t intense and sudden, which left the adorable moments between the two of them quite impressionable.
“Thank you for being patient. I like coming here.” This was the first part that really pulled at my heartstrings. Leo is silent and withdrawn, and the little that he does open up to Hakyeon is quite endearing and left me with a little smile. The light hearted, flirtatious banter between the two of them made me feel warm inside. I wasn’t left feeling like Leo had turned into a completely different person by the end or opened up too suddenly. I will say that I feel that the random appearances of the other members as Leo’s friends added little to the plot, and the encounters that Hakyeon had with them were easily forgotten. Leo rebelling and refusing to talk to Hakyeon until he told him what his favorite animal was, was just endearing. I found myself enamored by Leo’s innocent nature.
“You look good. You always look good” N barely manages to read the last bit upside down before Leo covers it and tears the page out quickly a light flush colouring his cheeks. I think that this scene really was my favorite. Leo’s bashfulness left me smiling widely, and the low-key confession was just enamoring. This story really was just filled with cuteness. Hakyeon’s avoidance of Leo and then being forced to confront him was cute. Everything was cute. The ending was cute. The last lines were great. Cute. Cute. Cute. I do wish that we had gotten an answer to why Leo is mute by choice. I also feel as if Leo talking should have been left alone, because since we have no answers, it just seemed out of place. I think that there are still a few loose ends, and though it was a cliche plot, it was enjoyable. It conveyed what it needed to as a one-shot fluff.
writing style (014/020)
I will say that I was honestly surprised that your writing style wasn’t bad. Stories on this site don’t tend to have the best reputation when it comes to writing style. The scenes transitioned quite nicely, which left a good impression and helped with the flow. There were some places you fell flat on detail or things could have been worded better. Because of some awkward wording and repetition, sometimes the flow of the story was interrupted. I can tell that you have experience as a writer due to the fact that you’re writing style is fairly decent, but there’s still a lot of room for growth. Some dialogue seemed out of place and random, but others left me feeling warm inside. Your writing style is better than most people on this site, but I think you need to work on making sure that it flows smoothly and stays consistent.
grammer (014/020)
Your grammar is actually good. I found very few mistakes, besides places where commas should be. I think that you could work at utilizing your commas a little better, but it’s not that major. I also think that you should try using more exotic wording and descriptions so you don’t bore your readers.
Personal enjoyment (003/005)
I didn’t expect much going into this, but I was mildly satisfied by the end. I can’t say much, since I am not a fan of Vixx, but you write fluff well and it wasn’t a boring read. If I was a fan, I probably would have liked it a lot more, but since I’m not, it could only hold my interest to a certain extent.
total score (079/100)
reviewer's advice:
Like I said before, just work on your writing style. Try to avoid cliche details and step out of your comfort zone. Personally, I enjoy authors who have a poetic style of writing. I’m not a big fan of more practical writing, but that’s just me. I always encourage people to read poetry to help them with visualization.
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