001: IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY WITH THE REVIEWS/GRAPHICS, DO A PERSONAL MESSAGE TO ME, OR THE REVIEWER/DESIGNERS THEMSELVES. 

002: COMMENT AFTER YOU'VE PICKED UP THE REVIEW / GRAPHIC SO THAT WE KNOW. WE'RE NOT PSYCHICS.

003: POSTERS SHOULD BE USED AS THE MAIN POSTER FOR AT LEAST A WEEK AFTER PICKED UP. AFTER THAT, YOU CAN DO HOWEVER YOU PLEASE WITH IT. 

004: BOTH REVIEWS AND GRAPHICS ARE TO BE CREDITED IN YOUR FOREWORD, LINKED WITH THE BANNER below.

Title  (004/005)

 

The title was good for the story, but I felt as if something was missing.When I first read the story, then read the description I felt very confused(I’ll talk about that more later.) The title does relate to the story, but it doesn’t fit the description and I feel like there’s a better title choice for it. For example; Venus and Mars-in Jungkook’s note to Sana(in the last chapter) he said,”You are Venus, I am Mars”. And when I read that part I just had to stop a bit to let that sink in. Also.it suits the description and “theme” of astrology a little more. But that’s just a recommendation, Back to Square One is still a good title.

 

Description/foreword  (07/010)

 

The description was short and simple, and it was well done. Though if I can, I would recommend that you change,”Before college and paperworks…”, the reason I say that is because, when reading that first part makes me(the reader) think that the setting is focused in college, when it’s mainly focused on their high school lives. Maybe you could change it to “Before him..” or “Being that day…”. But again this is just a recommendation. Now, as for the foreword, this is where I mention before how the title doesn’t feel right. It just feels completely different from the title, which could throw the reader off. I know that it’s a short introduction, but the fact that the description and foreword don’t seem to connect just really throws me off and it makes it more confusing.

 

Characterization  (016/020)

 

The characters were consistent and well written. I just loved how Jungkook felt realistic, I haven’t read many stories where the male character feels realistic. As for Sana, she was the typical female lead and to be frank her personality wasn’t anything special, but somehow you made her character work. You could’ve made her “better” if you built up/dropped hints that she had a disease, but I’ll talk more about that later. And as for the other minor characters, they were a hit or miss. Some were alright; such as Dahyun, but others felt as if they had no purpose; for example Nayeon just appeared and then was never heard from again. And I wish you would have worked on their characters a little bit more- make them have a backstory, and add more “flavor” to them. But without having to write a whole paragraph about them. They weren’t bad, but they felt bland. I would just like to say that I liked the idol face claim choices, you didn’t just pick any random idols to be in the story, they actually had a connection to the lead characters.

 

Plot  (015/020)

 

The plot was cliche and was the good girl/bad boy storyline, but it was still enjoyable. At some points the story just felt very cliche- such as when Sana just happened to have aplastic anemia and she had to go to Japan to get surgery. It would have felt less cliche if you would have dropped in little hints/details. Though I do realize that you were on a time crunch, but those little details could have made a huge difference. And as for the MiMi’s and Kihyun’s, their part of the story really confused me. It’s nice that you added a story inside of a story, but it just made it more confusing for me. Though with that, I did find their story cute. And throughout the whole story, I really liked how the pacing is consistent, it’s wasn’t too fast or too slow.Usually time skips in stories aren’t an easy thing to write, but you did it well- where it felt natural.

 

 

Writing style (015/020)

 

The story was very easy to understand, and I could visualize the scenes very easily. I could feel the emotions of the characters, especially in the last chapter. The only thing that bothered me, was the song titles you had to the sides to separate your writing into sections. I’m not sure why you did that, but they just feel very out of place.

 

Grammar  (013/020)

 

There were some mistakes in grammar,punctuations, and spelling, but they weren’t major errors. The word choices were alright, but they could have been better. Though I must say, your word choices did fit the story. If you can, I would recommend you get a beta-reader.

Here are some examples of the mistakes I found.

 

• “She figured that studentsdon’t really like the library.” I think you just in a rush that you forgot a space in between.

• “He said all too fastly.” Fastly is just not a good word choice, it’s a superfluous word- quickly would have an a better choice.

• “It was certainly a treat as she herself wanted to learn French but was unable to do so. “ You made a common mistake here. Before “but”, you just forgot to put a comma.

• “...craving to sit on his chair in math class despite of hating the atmosphere there.” I would take out “of”, because it just doesn’t make sense. And I’m sure it was just a simple mistake.

• “...and you two are culprits in these case."” I think you just wrote these instead of this.

• “....school property should not be vandilized in any forms.” This is just a simple spelling mistake. It should be spelled,”vandalized” instead of “vandilized”, you were still close though.

• “Sana's heart paltipated as..”, This is just another simple misspelling, it should be “palpitated” instead.

 

 

Personal enjoyment (004/005)

 

I liked the story, it was very cute. I was confused at some points, but the plot was still very good. And I just loved the ending, it felt very realistic and relatable.

 

Total score (74/100)

 

Reviewer's advice:

I think you should work on checking your grammar, punctuations, and spelling. And If you would like, you can get a beta-reader to help you. If the minor characters could appear a little bit more, it would have been better. And if you added little details of Sana having the diseases, that would have made the story even more interesting. Anyways, I hope you don’t take this review too personally. If you have any concerns or need any help, please feel free to message me, and I’ll be glad to help anyway I can.