✍️ Beauty In The Shadows || Review

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REVIEWER'S NOTES | Refreshing story of Taoris and vampiau but in need of a beta
Title  (005/005)

It matches well.


description/foreword  (010/010)

You did very well the description and forward.


characterization  (005/020)

I think you’re too focused on little details that you lose your characterizing as you go. Be extra careful of that. One example would be Kyungsoo. You don’t give him too much of a characterization but then you practically throw a full blown mental examination like 4 chapters later. This is a lot for readers to take in and can also be consider as a writer’s way to take up space without really a purpose. Develop your characters on a constant steady pace. 


plot  (020/020)
It’s a very interesting plot. It looks like you really have thought out this whole plot thing before writing this. It’s very unique and refreshing vampire au story.
 

writing style (010/020)

Honestly, your writing is like a textbook writer. Something about your writing style makes me want to fall asleep. It’s not a bad thing but it’s not a good thing either. I feel like you get too much into the details that you’re overloading details. Details are fine but you need to find the middle ground between the necessary and a waste of space. Otherwise it causes a glazed feel for readers as they read.
As for the author’s notes, there’s nothing I find more distracting than that one parenthesized author’s note that appears out of nowhere. Either put your notes all at the top (which I don’t really recommend) or put them all at the end (which I favor more). I also wanted to add that you seem to be very repetitive. I get that Tao and Kris are soul mates and are destined to be together but there is really no need to repeat that every other line. 


grammer  (015/020)

You have small mistakes here and there, such as misspelt words and misplaced commas and periods. What I suggest (and this is what I suggest for most authors) is to get a beta reader or set aside your story for a couple of days then read it over. Sometimes when we writing something we tend to look over little mistakes because our eyes have become accustomed to them.


Personal enjoyment (004/005)

There’s something about it that I can’t pin down. Your story is interesting but at the same time I feel it’s not able to keep my attention for too long. However overall, this story has a strange unique flair to it which makes me look forward to the next update.

total score (069/100)


reviewer's advice:

Get a beta reader and check your characters’ development.
layout designed and coded by flamzfox at Cerulean Themes
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