"Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing.

The things you are passionate about are not random; they are your calling."

Requested by ychngs

Have you ever felt so hopeless, so devastated and disappointed that even if the world were to end at this exact moment, you wouldn't care because there wasn't any meaning left to live for?

For you, you've only felt like this once when your father passed away last June. You remember the depression, the loss of any motivation you had left as you turned into a lifeless doll for a few weeks. 

It was an extremely tough period of time for you. But yet now, as you stand to face your soon-to-be-ex boyfriend, this feeling has returned, stronger than ever. The disappointment was washing over your heart in waves as your eyes met the eyes of the man who lost himself to music.

There was no way you could save him, ever. 

"We're done. Let's break up." Your shaky voice floated across the room. You caught his perfect features flinch as the words 'break up' was said.

"Is that what you really want?" His hoarse voice seemed to have torn a gaping hole in your heart. "To leave me?"

"Yes," You lied bitterly. "I can't continue to live like this anymore."

You turn to leave but was soon halted by a pair of strong muscled arms wrapping around your waist. Yoongi pulled you close, begging for you to give him one more chance. 

"Jagi, it'll be over soon. Someone will recruit me and I will be a successful music producer. Everything will go back to normal soon, just bear with me once-"

"I've beared with you for one long year, yoongi." You whispered as you recalled the painful memories. "I can't do this anymore."

You removed his arms forcefully before stepping out of his apartment. Slamming the door, you began walking away hurriedly as your tears fell uncontrollably. You hastily flagged a taxi, stepping in and instructing the driver to 'just drive' before Yoongi could come out and chase you. 

That night, you had nightmares of Yoongi for the first time.

You were jerked awake by the thunder, and for a moment you just lay in bed, still unsure as to what you saw was a dream. You tossed and turned in your sweat soaked pillow and tried to remove the scene you saw in your dream from your mind.

You couldn't do it. 

It wasn't a scene out of this world. In fact, the Yoongi that appeared in your dreams was a Yoongi you saw very often. He was hunched over his desk, big headphones over his ears as his hand flew over his composition notebook, scribbling things you couldn't understand. 

He wasn't like this when you two started dating a year ago. You knew Yoongi loved music, but all he did was to listen to songs. He would serenade you occasionally and you will always enjoy it, categorising his love for music as a blessing. 

Until Valentines' Day this year, because Yoongi had decided to compose a song for you. 

Although he loved and immersed himself in the world of music often, Yoongi has never composed his own music. The lovely little melody he composed himself tapped into something deep within him and suddenly, you saw him transforming. He became more and more greedy for recognition and fame. 

He even quit his job as a lawyer to compose songs at home. 

It was torture. Yoongi was slowly going bankrupt because no company wanted to buy his music. You tried to talk some sense into him and tell him that he should think realistically, that he should think for the future. 

Yoongi didn't listen. 

The past few months he hadn't been eating properly nor sleeping properly. You heard his coughing get worse, saw his health deteriorate. His usual bright and serene expression had reduced to sunken eyes and unnaturally pale skin. 

You knew you lost him, by now. 

So today, you finally mustered up the courage to leave him. You believed Yoongi loves you and will be willing to change back to the way he was in order to get you back. 

Only well...he didn't.

A few weeks later, you bumped into one of his friends at one of the bars you frequent. The both of you started talking and that was how you learned about the true state of your ex-boyfriend now.

Yoongi wasn't doing good, his friend has revealed. In fact, he has gotten even worse now. 

"It breaks my heart to see him composing songs about a girl leaving him and how much he needs her." Yoongi's friend continued. 

"He composed songs about me?"