I didn't mean to leave it this long between updates, oops :P
After this chapter there's only five more chapters and an epilogue to go!

Seungri was bored. He had nothing on. Jonghyun was off spending time with the others, and since they weren't talking to him yet, he couldn't join in. That left him with nothing to do on a day off, and unusually, he didn't feel like going out.

He began to wander around his room, picking random objects up as he did. Despite being here for several weeks, he'd only had a proper look around the room once, and it hadn't been for very long. Being so busy with promotions didn't leave much time free to do such things - particularly without looking suspicious.

There were many pictures that he'd hardly had time to look at sat on the chest of drawers. Some looked like they were from their trainee days - Seungri recognised the shaggy hair he'd had when he was a teenager. He also laughed at seeing all the others looking young too, and it showed a progression of them as friends, not just a group.

In all the photographs they were smiling, having fun. In a way, Seungri wished that he could have experienced that - not at the expense of not being in Bigbang, but he wanted to know what it was that they were laughing at.

Combing through the drawers, Seungri found one which made him laugh - the drawer full of pictures of Daesung. It had been several weeks since he found this, and yet his reaction to it was so different. Last time he had been so confused, he knew nothing about the version of himself that lived here. Now he knew exactly why this drawer existed (and why he'd choose to hide the pictures from his sneaky members). He pulled more and more of the photos out - the deeper he got, the further back the pictures went. Some of them even looked familiar to Seungri, candids of Daesung on his way to school and to the studios.

He felt something heavier than the photos slip between them to the bottom of the drawer as he pulled more out, and curiously he reached in to fish it out. It was a small key, too small to be for a door, but too big to just be decorative. Besides, why would it be hidden away if it was only for decoration? He put it up on the top of the chest of drawers, and kept looking around.

Opening the one underneath it, he heard a sliding sound and a thunk as whatever was in it slid to the back. Reaching in to pull it out, he realised that it was the diary he'd seen the last time he tried looking through this stuff.

For a split second he wondered why he hadn't read it before, but then he noticed the lock on the side of it that was keeping it shut. Disappointment flashed through him - it would be so interesting to read his other self's thoughts. He went to put it up on the top of the chest of drawers - maybe he could break the lock later or something - but paused when he saw that small key there. A small key? Small enough to fit in the small lock of the diary?

He picked the key up carefully. Surely it would be too much to ask for, to have found the right key for the diary so easily? He carefully slid the key into the lock, becoming more hopeful as the key fitted perfectly. It turned, and the lock opened. He quickly pulled the lock away, and eagerly opened the diary at a random page.

and I swear he was looking at us the whole time. I don't know if he saw properly, but I really hope he didn't. Jonghyun manages to see so much stuff already as it is, I don't want him seeing that too. You gotta keep some stuff private. So then after that we left the beach, and none of the others said anything to us, which I was really glad about. Taemin gets embarrassed enough at that kind of stuff, I don't need them adding even more onto it. I wish things were easier... there's so much secret keeping going on, it's making things complicated.

Seungri smiled. It seemed as though he and Seunghyun had more in common than he had thought - they were both watched by Jonghyun, and kept too many secrets. He flicked further back in the diary, watching the dates get earlier and earlier, spreading back a few years. Out of interest he began to read the first entry.

21st January 2010

So Jinki gave me this thing for Christmas, but I couldn't be bothered to use it til now. He said it would help me express myself or something. I honestly don't know what to write about, so I guess I'll just tell you what I did today. It wasn't much. I was woken up by Taemin bouncing on my bed again, he's been doing it for the past few weeks and I don't even know why. I think he just likes annoying me. But anyway, after that I just kinda hung around with Taemin for the rest of the day. We played lots of Mario Kart, and he won most of the rounds. It was fun though. There was one thing that was weird though, when we were in the middle of a really intense race Jonghyun and Jinki walked round the back of the sofa, and I looked at them and they just kinda smirked at me? I have no idea why, but it made me lose the race, so that's the only part I really care about. But then they were fine for the rest of the day, so maybe it didn't mean anything. Anyway, Key just called to say that dinner's ready, so I guess I have to stop writing now. I guess this wasn't so bad after all.

Seungri smiled. It seemed like Seunghyun had had a pretty good time living this life. Not that Seungri would have suspected otherwise, but it was good to know that he'd had such a good time. It made him feel grateful that he'd had a chance to get to know these people, and that they were his friends now.

He decided to read a more recent entry, maybe one which would help him to navigate this world better. He flicked towards the end of the book, seeing that it was nearly full.

9th February 2015

So things began to kick off again today. Jonghyun is still giving me the weird looks, I'm sure he knows. He always sees too much, no matter how hard I try to hide it. There was a night that Taemin spent in my room, and we tried so hard to make sure that none of the others knew that he was there, but then Jonghyun gave me all these looks the next day and I don't know exactly what that meant.

I think he might be judging us, but things are so difficult! He and Kibum seem to have sorted things so easily between them, but... not everyone has it that easy. I wish I could make things easier for Taemin. He's so -

Seungri shut the diary there. He began to feel like he was intruding, and for a moment he'd forgotten that he and Seunghyun were two separate people, and that he couldn't just go snooping around when he felt like it.

Feeling bad that he'd read intimate details of Seunghyun's life that had been written for Seunghyun's eyes only, he decided to leave a message in the diary for Seunghyun, to give him a clue about what was going on. He hunted a pen down in the messy drawers, and began to write.

**

Full of the sentimental feeling that reading the diary had given him, Seungri nervously made his way towards the living room. He was sure that he wanted to make things up to the others, but he really didn't know whether they'd accept his apology.

As Seungri walked into the living room, the others stopped their whispering. Jonghyun was the only one who turned around and smiled at him, and it reinforced his plans for trying to make up with them. "What's up?" Jonghyun asked.

"Well..." Seungri began. "I was wondering... if maybe, y'know, you wanted to go out tonight? I wanted to make things up to you guys, but I mean, it's up to you, I don't mind if you don't want to, I'd totally understand, I wouldn't want to force -"

"SEUNGHYUN!" Jonghyun interjected. "Sure, I'll join you, stop worrying." He smiled, and looked back towards the others. "Any of you want to join us?"

Minho and Jinki made snorting noises, and Kibum raised his eyebrows. "Why would I want to do that?" He asked.

Seungri pouted, but let Jonghyun answer for him. "Because he's our friend, that's why. Haven't you tortured him enough?"

"He made Taeminnie cry, so no, no I haven't. I won't until -"

A cough from across the room interrupted what Seungri was sure would have been a full blown rant. "It's okay, Kibum," Taemin spoke up, his voice quiet.

"What?" Jinki, who was sat next to him, sounded incredulous.

"I'm not so upset any more. We can go out, I don't mind." Seungri thought that Taemin seemed pretty determined, but he couldn't be sure how much was being put on. Walking over to where Taemin was sat, Seungri bowed, and apologised one more time, just to be safe. Seungri was somewhat disappointed at the fact that he could see Jinki's hand tightening on Taemin's shoulder as he came closer - Taemin didn't have to worry about him doing anything bad, who did they think he was?

Fortunately Taemin smiled, looking sincere, and nodded. "It's okay, Seunghyun." Jinki's hand relaxed, looking more comfortable as Taemin asserted himself.

"Are you sure?" Kibum interjected. "You -"

"I'm sure." Taemin said firmly.

Kibum shrugged. "Okay then." He turned to look at Jonghyun, who was smiling at him. "I'm in. What time are we going then?"

"Uuh..." Seungri hadn't thought it that far through. "Maybe... seven?" The others nodded at this, and Seungri felt so much better. He was finally making progress in making them like him again.

Despite this, he spent the rest of the afternoon worrying over what might happen. Might he embarrass himself in the way he had done the last few times he'd got drunk here? He paced around his room, trying to think of the scenarios that could happen. The worst case scenario would be the group just rejecting him outright - they might have forgiven him earlier but their cold behaviour this week might not be got rid of so easily. On the other hand, it might go great, everything might be fine by the end of it,

All his worries were thrown out of the window as soon as they arrived at the club. It was a familiar environment, one which transcended the universes and helped Seungri to feel more relaxed as soon as they arrived. For once he wasn't that inclined to drink, feeling that he just wanted to spend time with these people.

Eventually he found himself dancing with Taemin, who appeared to be having a good time. It was Taemin's opinion that Seungri was worried about the most - sure, the others' mattered too, but Taemin was the one who had been hurt.

"I really am sorry, Taemin," Seungri apologised one more time. Taemin's only reaction was to giggle, and hug him. Seungri was slightly taken aback, but hugged Taemin back, glad that he really didn't seem to be upset any more.

"Hyuuuuuuuuung, I love yooooooou," Taemin warbled. Seungri froze. He'd gathered that before, during Taemin's confession, but... that didn't mean that he knew what to think about it this time round either.

"Taemin... you know I can't..." Seungri began, hoping to rectify the situation somehow. He didn't want a repeat of last time, but there was nothing he could really do differently. Taemin giggled some more, seemingly unaware of Seungri's internal struggle.

Seungri looked around hopelessly, trying to think of something he could do to help himself. From the other side of the room, he caught Jonghyun's eye. He was stood talking to Kibum, but he seemed to realise the struggle that Seungri was having as he excused himself from Kibum and walked over. Without asking any questions, he gently took Taemin's arm and led him away from Seungri.

Seungri smiled at him in thanks, and started dancing in order to not look awkward being by himself. Things weren't going too badly. His plan seemed to have worked, everyone was having a good time. And most importantly, the members were his friends again.