Chapter 21

The weight of a decision

I know, I'm impressed with myself too for updating again so soon.

 

Seungri found himself sat at home, by himself. He'd got so used to being in a dorm again, and having people around him constantly, whether he wanted it or not, that he wasn't sure what to do with himself now that he was back living by himself.

He'd tried to watch some TV in order to distract himself, but he found that he couldn't focus on any one programme for very long, and ended up channel surfing longer than he watched the programmes themselves. He absently fiddled with his phone, further distracting him from the television, yet wasn't sure what it was exactly that he wanted to do on his phone.

He sighed. He wouldn't have thought that being back here would be so uncomfortable - after all, this had been his life for ten years, he should be used to it, it was his world. But it would seem that spending time in the other universe meant that he had got used to it - too used to it, perhaps.

His phone buzzed, and his focus snapped to that. It was a text, from Taemin of all people. Hey hyung, want to meet up? it read.

Seungri sighed. Would it be a good idea? Maybe not, but... he was missing Taemin and the others - the ones that he knew from the other universe - a lot, and it would definitely cure his boredom problem.

Sure was his reply. Almost instantly, he got a reply back from Taemin. Are you free now?

That was an enthusiastic response from this Taemin. He hadn't been expecting to have made quite such a good impression on him the last time that they spent significant amounts of time together.

Well, he didn't have anything better to be doing. I am.

Great! Do you want to come over now? Seungri hesitated. Was this the best course of action? It would alleviate his boredom, sure, but it might not turn out too well.

Shrugging his shoulders, he decided that he may as well. Sure, I'll be over soon.

He began to get ready to leave - he hadn't even got dressed yet. He took his time - after all, he wasn't sure how this would turn out.

**

Seungri sat in his car outside the dorm. If he was being honest with himself, he was stalling slightly. How would this go? How friendly would the others be, especially since he'd acted coldly towards them the other day?

Sighing, he realised that he'd been sat there for ten minutes, and he should really go and do the thing he came here for. Walking up to the dorm, he was again reminded of how strange it was to be here in this universe. It looked exactly the same, and if Seungri didn't know better, he might have thought that he was back in the other universe.

Looking down at his phone, he checked his messages again, just in case Taemin had said anything else. He hadn't, but it worked as a reminder that yes, he was in a different universe to the one which he had the most experience talking to Taemin in. He sent a text to Taemin, to let him know that he was here.

Seungri shoved his hands in his pockets as he waited to be let into the building. The instinct to just take his keys out and let himself in was overwhelming, from all the times he done so in the other universe - but even if he'd wanted to, he couldn't here due to a lack of keys.

Finally the door was opened, and Seungri was let in. Like the last time he'd been here in this world, Taemin seemed slightly cool towards him, greeting him with a small smile and gesturing for him to make his way in.

They walked up the stairs in silence, and the difference in this Taemin from the one that he knew better was highlighted more and more to Seungri. The Taemin that he knew was always much more energetic and playful around him - although he did now know that the reason for that had been a crush on him.

The way that this Taemin was so much more restrained was a reminder that this was not the same person as the one who had confessed to him just days before, but it wouldn't stop Seungri from feeling strange being around him.

Walking into the dorm, the first thing Seungri saw was Jonghyun and Kibum sat on the sofa. Instinctively Seungri's heart began to race, nervous about being told off. He knew that it was irrational - these versions of the SHINee members didn't know him at all, they would have no right to tell him off unless he did something truly terrible.

Taemin began to walk over to the others, and Seungri quickly trailed after him. Taking the first seat he came to, he sat down, trying not to feel like he was being stared at. He soon realised that the reason Kibum was giving him a funny look was that he'd chosen a seat that was as far away from the others as he could possibly get. He couldn't help but feel glad about the extra space - it made him feel slightly calmer.

Jonghyun and Kibum were chatting softly before he entered, and they continued to do so now, glancing over at him every so often. Seungri really didn't know what to say, he had no real frame of reference for what to talk to them about.

"So what was up with you the other day?" Kibum asked suddenly, directing the question at him. Seungri was getting tired of being put on the spot with questions like this, but he never thought these things through enough beforehand.

"Um... I wasn't feeling that well?" Seungri tried.

Kibum didn't seem convinced. "Are you sure? You could have just told us at the time if that was a problem. You pretty much brushed us off, Seungri."

Seungri leant forward into the most of a bow he could make while sitting down. "I'm sorry," he murmured. Kibum seemed slightly mollified.

"Well I hope you've been feeling better then," Kibum said, and Jonghyun nodded in agreement. Seungri felt slightly bad about lying to them, since they seemed to be sincere in what they said. It was better than trying to tell them the truth though.

"I have, thank you," Seungri tried to be as believable as he could. Before he could say anything more, Taemin took Kibum's attention, and Jonghyun took the opportunity to come sit next to him. Seungri wasn't sure whether to feel uncomfortable or not - this was his friend, but just the other day he'd been threatened by a version of him. He settled for keeping a good amount of distance between them.

"So, any more thoughts on parallel universes?" Jonghyun asked. Seungri quickly shook his head. His thoughts on parallel universes were currently more complicated than they had been a few weeks ago when he'd last spoken to Jonghyun about them. They were causing him trouble coping in both universes, making him mess up constantly in one and find it difficult to separate them fully in his mind.

"Um, not really. I've kinda... gone off them recently," Seungri told him. Jonghyun looked disappointed.

"Oh, that's too bad. What put you off them?" Damnit. More awkward questions that he brought on himself. He was distracted slightly by Jinki and Minho walking through the semicircle of sofas to watch TV, but was brought back to the conversation at hand by a light cough from Jonghyun.

"Just some bad experiences I've had recently. I don't think they're such a good idea any more." Technically it was completely true, although Seungri didn't think he would be able to say any more than that without having the whole story spill out of him.

"Oh... well have you at least been enjoying your comeback? Is it still going well?" Jonghyun was trying his best to keep the conversation going, and Seungri appreciated it.

Seungri nodded. "Yeah, it's been going okay thanks."

Jonghyun made a small noise in the back of his throat to indicate that he'd heard Seungri, but said nothing. After sitting in silence for a few minutes, Jonghyun stood up and walked over to Kibum. As he did, he motioned his head towards the corridor leading to the bedrooms. At this, Kibum also stood up, and they walked out of the room together.

Seungri felt bad that he couldn't be as energetic as he had been the last time he'd hung out with them. Being around them made him want to get back to the other universe, in order to sort things out - for once, he wasn't enjoying his experience being back in this universe at all.

He wondered what to do with himself, until he noticed Taemin walking over to him, presumably due to the person he'd been talking to leaving the room. Seungri smiled, and Taemin returned it as he sat down.

"Was Jonghyun bothering you about parallel universes again?" Taemin asked jokingly. Seungri laughed.

"He did ask about it, yeah. He didn't bug me about it though, don't worry." Taemin laughed, and leant towards him slightly as he did.

Seungri did his best to keep the space between him and Taemin as big as he could, but in the course of their talking, Taemin seemed to be creeping closer without realising it. That sort of behaviour was something which the Taemin from the other universe would do, and again Seungri was reminded of all the time they'd spent together on this very sofa.

Seungri began to lean into Taemin as he laughed. The video they were watching, a compilation of people running into things and tripping up, wasn't the sort of thing that he'd normally watch, but he trusted Taemin's judgement - and had a good time because of it.

"Taemin... I have a question," Seungri began. Perhaps this wasn't the best idea, but it would surely be a good way to get into Taemin's thought process? "Hypothetically... If someone you weren't that close to confessed to you, what would you do?"

Taemin gave him a sharp glance. "You don't mean that you...?"

Seungri realised how his words could be taken. "What? No, I don't... but someone else did to me, and I was wondering what you thought about it?" As he spoke, Minho and Jinki glanced over from their spot watching tv, and Seungri hoped that they didn't take this conversation the wrong way.

Taemin looked thoughtful, and slightly relived. Seungri was slightly offended - would it really be that bad if he did have a crush on Taemin?

"I would say.... I'd prefer people to be honest with each other. No matter whether the feelings are returned or not, life is just easier when everyone just tells the truth. Don't you agree, Seungri?"

Well that just made Seungri feel worse.

Could he really be honest with the other Taemin? And at this point, he was keeping many things from both versions of Taemin, even if he wasn't scared of being called crazy he would still be thought of badly for not telling the truth.

The only reaction he could give Taemin was a small smile, and a "thanks." Taemin gave him a slightly disappointed look, before standing up and walking over to sit with Minho and Jinki. Seungri took this as his cue to leave; clearly the others didn't really want to talk to him that much.

**

Later that night he lay in bed wondering about what happened today. Was it all his fault? Was he imagining things? Or had the members of SHINee really not wanted to see him that badly after all? Some parts of the day had gone better than others, there was no definitive way of telling whether the meeting had gone well or not.

It had been odd seeing people that he'd come to know fairly well over the last few weeks try to make small talk with him, but that was the reality of moving between universes.

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KeyWolf25888
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Comments

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injeong
#1
Chapter 32: YES THERE'S MORE WHOOOO
injeong
#2
Chapter 31: AHHHHHHHSO I'M CRYING AND SCREAM AND FANGIRLING AT THE SANE TIME
omg all those typos
THIS IS SO CUTE
AJAJDKKSLAKDOROWKSJXKDKW
I'm still really sad that they both don't remember I get as confused as the characters ;-;
BUT SJDKAKDKSLQODOEOAKSALLDROOSOA
ElevenSkyHorses
#3
Chapter 31: Wow it's so strange reading about other Seunghyun than Seungri, but I kind of like it. It brings insight to what happened to Seunghyun that whole time during the universe swap. Jonghyun should known soon that his Seunghyun is back.

I'm sad that the end has come, but thank you so much for writing such a wonderful story. It was quite a journey, and I enjoyed every bit of it.
FeatherFall
#4
Chapter 31: So does that mean Seunghyun didn't have the same experience as Seungri had??? Omg

I feel so giddy. Reading about Seunghyun is a bit weird, but then I remember that he isn't Seungri and it becomes refreshing. I have a feeling Jonghyun would know eventually though.

It's been amazing. I mean, just the concept and the possibilities really brought me in. Thank you so much! I'm really glad that I perused the Seungri tag one day and found this. Thank you! :)
FeatherFall
#5
Chapter 30: OMG the endiiing. It's like I want it and I don't. I'm so excited!!!! Thank you agaaaaaiiin!!! :)
ElevenSkyHorses
#6
Chapter 30: Am I ready for the ending? Nope, totally not. Aw, poor Ri. Hope he feels better. Can't wait for the next chapter.
injeong
#7
Chapter 30: NOOOO YOU'RE KIDDING ME RIGHT HE CAN'T ACTUALLY HAVE JUST --- NOOOO AND WHAT ABIUT TAEMIN
AND THAT GRI FLUFF KIKLED ME EVEN MOREEEEEE
allie18 #8
Chapter 29: Oh my gosh I knew this'd be coming but I'm still not readyyy :'( I'm gonna miss this story!
ElevenSkyHorses
#9
Chapter 29: This ending- oh my god, I cried. I'm still crying. I'll definitely miss this story. I love it so much. Can't wait for the next chapter.
FeatherFall
#10
Chapter 29: Oh man it feels so surreal that this is ending. It's like I want more. I'm attached now too. OMG. Seungri-aaaah
At the same time I'm so excited for the next chapter. Thanks so much!!!!