You ignore every call that night making your friends disappointed and worried who want to wish you badly… You woke up the next day with dry tear marks on your face, you get wash up yourself and check your time.. Its evening 4PM ‘I slept all day??! !!! Uh ohh- How can’t I sleep when I cried till morning’… You feel tears forming in your eyes ‘the pain of mind and heart is worse than pain of body’ you walk to drink some water and sit idle for long time thinking ‘what’s happening and why he is doing it?! He likes me more than a friend? No! He treats everyone the same…the thing is I have fallen for him again!’ . You sit there thinking for long time breaking down again! You are disturbed with the sound of your clock that ticks 6PM which makes you to realize that he is leaving today and check online for flights that leave tonight. There’s a flight in 2hrs… You run to your room but freeze all of a sudden thinking to let him go from the very moment and find the scattered photos on your bed… You pick them up reaching for the bag which is upside down to put the photos back and while pulling it, something fell down… You’re surprised to find it there, it’s your mobile you used in Korea which you left with JunMi… You switch it on wondering how did he get it and find an unread message…

//

“have a safe flight!

……………

Running away doesn’t help any of us……”

Time: 3.10am, 2018.06.05

HyunJoong

 //

You drop the phone and fall on your knees crying “he knew! He knew I’m leaving then itself! And didn’t bother me!! Did he know why I left?!”… You run out of your home taking a jacket heading to airport thinking ‘I will not bother you from now and try to forget you for sure…but please.. let me see you one last time! Just once before you notice’… You rush inside the aorport holding the mobile which you left and hide yourself so that he don’t see you, then you enquire about the flights where you can’t find his name on the plane list which leaves in 1hour but find his name in the morning flight… You rush out with tears knowing he already left (In Your Mind: He said he will leave at night but why he went away?! Anyway, this is another incident that says I don’t even deserve to see him from far)… You walk slowly towards your car and lean onto it, you close your face with your palm and cry out yourself… You hear someone saying “I won’t leave you!”… You look up to see a blurry image coz of your tears, then a hand wipe your eyes whose touch make you feel him, its HyunJoong…Its him… You can read his eyes saying ‘how can you think I already left?’ while he move close to you and his hand reach yours… A loud horn of other vehicle brings you to sense making you shove his hands and run away… The vehicle becomes an obstacle to catch you but still he is running back of you calling your name, you ignore him running fast to the lonely area which leads to highway and a forest beside… When you’re about you walk into woods, his hand grabs you and pull you towards him…

He yell “what are you doing at the airport?” you don’t answer him… He continue “why are you doing this?!”…

*silence*

Again “I won’t repeat this! You know it very well”

*silence*

“Your silence make things worse Aileen!!”

You respond “what is it now?”.. He takes a breath and ask “why are you running away again?”...

You say harshly “there’s nothing to do with you!”… He remark “ohh really!! Then why you run away from me? Do you think that make it easy for you?? Do you think that can help both of us??!”

You pull your hand from him and shout “what do you mean??”

*silence*

You continue “what do you mean both??!!”…

He take a long breathe looking at you and state “you love me!!”… He give a pause and continue “don’t you?”

You look away from him and try to move, then you hear him “just say me now that it has nothing to do with me!”… You can’t resist as he got to know it the day you’re leaving, You state “who said it? Please just go.. no need to show any concern..I can be f-i-n-e______”…  You become speechless when he say “I love You” he pulls your hand to bring you close to him and continue “so that doesn’t concern me right!!”

(In Your mind: Noo.. this is going more difficult…please don’t say that HyunJoong…I can’t make your world difficult…I want to hug you right away and want you to accept me but I can’t let you go when you want to, which makes you sulk) You remark “that don’t concern me now… I hate you… neither I had feelings for you or I have behaved in any way that I loved you.. You only declared that”… He immediately states “it’s hard to pretend that you don’t love someone when you really do”

You start to move but he stops you saying in a sad tone “I know why you’re doing this… The problem is me! Always me!! You’re afraid that I may break your heart… I really..”… You cut him saying “Noo.. it’s not you…never!”

You didn’t know how you managed to say that as you’re trembling to stand in tears… He makes you sit on the log beside a tree, sit beside you holding your face on his palm and while wiping tears you hear him say “Please be my last love… Let me be yours!”. You look at him and he continue “I never said this kind of things to anyone this way but it’s you! I can do it only to you!!”… You reciprocate “see.. That’s what I’m saying… I’m changing you”

He smile and say “so you run away? You know, there is no remedy for love than to love more!! Coz it’s seriously a disease… you make me feel it more interesting to suffer from this”…

You know you’re melting for his words but this can make his life miserable, so you shout shoving his hands away “don’t!!  Don’t do this to yourself…I can’t let it go this way”… You give a sigh looking away and continue in slow voice “I can’t tag you HyunJoong… I can’t tie you with this ‘last love’ tag line… it’s your life… I don’t have right to make you feel a heavy load”. Your tear starts to roll and you yelp “I don’t deserve you as I always put you on a limit… limit zone! Now I’m ready to get hurt…hurt my heart even you leave me but I can’t afford to let you get hurt coz of me…I’m not sure of that… I don’t care about me but…”… Your words are cut when his lips are felt on your cheek where your tear is rolling (a peck on your cheek) and look at you whispering “I love to be in that limited zone of yours! I love that tag if it’s with your name!! I know you will never hurt me even if you want and more over I can’t let you suffer!!! Who will like to make this cry baby to cry more?!!”

Your heart felt good to hear them from him but you feel something is not fine, you want to convince him to get away with this and call him “HyunJoong---”. As if he understood what you’re about to say, he pulls you close giving you a warm hug and voicing huskily “be my last love! Maybe this is the reason I broke up with all my past love’s…Just to find you, my partner of life!!!”…

Saying this he hugs you even tight while you embrace him tightly feeling your heart at ease.. Your heart is very happy making you smile at corner of your lips and you felt happiest ever when you realized his smile behind… He said it right!! ‘There is no remedy to love than to love more and more’

                                              A little more you both stay in each other and pulled back hearing some horns of vehicles… You don’t even look in his eyes as you feel very uneasy and the same goes to him… You both walk away when he said “let’s go..its too late”.

While walking he say “shall we eat out or at your home or” , you cut him saying “my home is mess and I don’t want to be in crowd”… He smirk as he can see that you’re avoiding his stares and state “let’s eat at my place then! And don’t blush like a kid”… (In your mind: what?? I’m blushing? no way!!!)

You act bold yelling “im not . . .” , He cuts you saying “I know !! I know kid!!”…

You yell at him while he smile hard and hard making you go mad! (In his mind: Finally she agreed to eat.. stupid! How can she not eat anything!! I wonder how I said all those sweet things to her!! You HyunJoong!!! See what she have made you!! And this time I didn’t feel cheesy! I didn’t regret to say… she is special and need such kinda words from the person like me)

After reaching his place, you both eat very silently as he is watching you eat very well and you eat calmly to avoid his stares… After eating, he pulls your mobile and start checking what have you done all these 6months… You don’t refuse to give him as you don’t have much of your pics but you hear him mumbling something, you go near and see that he is reading your texts with JunMi… You snatch it from him and shout “bad manners”… He walk towards you making you walk back, he smirks thinking that he have same control on you and he come too close and raise his eyebrow…

You know he does this whenever he want something from you and say “ohk.. I will give you but don’t read it! There’s something in that you shouldn’t read” , then he smile cunningly and remark “then its about me or maybe you warn her not to say about me” walking away…

You hide your smile thinking how can he get it right! He snaps at you “I know it already!”. (In Your Mind: Damn! Is he a mind reader?)

He ask awkwardly “Do you mind sleeping here?”… You left your jaw in shock then he say “don’t worry.. its already too late!”, You check its 10pm and feel like going to your home and state “its ok,,I will leave now… its not that late”…

You start walking towards door, then he grabs your hand whispering “just today!! I assure you that I won’t even touch you… don’t be afraid!”… (In your mind: no please, I’m already feeling uneasy! And you… you don’t make me feel any good if you come close and I can’t stay far from you! Look at what kind of person you have made me) You shook your head as ‘No’ and see his angry face but he calm down saying “have new year event in Japan. So I should be leaving early hour 4am”…

Your heart sulk like it had been squeezed hearing that he is leaving in few hours but you walk away closing his door………