After having lunch together, you decided to get back to your place to prepare yourself for Christmas. You both decided to go out not knowing where to go while Lisa had her plans with her boyfriend… You were ready wearing a golden cream pearl frock upto knees with a cardigan which is dark maroon in colour(fur and fluffy), with a knee high boots… (6.30PM) You hear a knock and rush to the door and see there’s no one, you rush inside as your phone rings and pick up saying “I’m ready!”… HJ smile saying “wow you’re so fast”, your words go dumb as you hear his voice… He is trying to talk but you don’t say anything till he whisper “I’m here”! You turn back and see him, your twinkling eyes are shining more brightly to see him in black denim with creamy white shirt and dark shiny black shirt over, a blazer that’s more elegant with classy shine of maroon, you can’t say exact colour whether its black or maroon as it gives velvet touch where all could be seen with black coat with fluffy fur on collar over him… You’re staring him, his hair, and his eyes, and from top to bottom while he is staring at the pretty woman standing front of him in smooth hair with semi curls below, beautiful face with rose pink soft lips and that lovely dress perfectly fits… He stop staring and finds you standing numb, he smirk walking towards you and say in a husky tone “I can say that I look handsome and more perfect by the way you gaze me”. He holds you which gives a jolt in your body and pulls you to walk saying “we will be late if we don’t rush” , you come to sense and shout “don’t dream more of your looks… but today, you look more like a human” and giggle while he ignore you as he know that you never accept the FACT…(In his mind: her hand, is soo smooth than ever! Maybe it’s too cold here or maybe she looks damn perfect today… Just like me! Kekeke)… You both had your dinner for 3hours not caring the time coz you both are busy talking about your friends as you both decided to forget your enemy zone just for celebrating Christmas well… You checked the time (11.30PM), gasped in shock and took over HJ running to far place to a snowy area leaving car… It took 20min to reach there and in 10min, there’s a Christmas tree that lit up full with lights and fireworks began making the place more beautiful… You both enjoyed the sight and run to the city where there are carnivals, parties and prayers… You run and roam like there’s no ending point shouting Christmas wishes…

It passed 4am when HJ looked at you asking “shall we check in some hotel?” while you nod him and both took separate rooms… You walk into his room telling “lets continue this tomorrow… I mean we don’t go back and enjoy till it clocks 12, when Christmas ends”…

He smirks asking “I heard you don’t like these kinda..” (you understood that he is referring to cheesy and crazy things) you cut his words saying “yeah I don’t… and you don’t like it too… so I’m sure we don’t go overboard like crazy excited people over there… so its ohk for little craziness just till tomorrow”…

He smiles stating “actually its too crazy for me running all over”, you immediately snap him “aren’t you human? I know you’re enjoying it though”…

He reciprocates “I have my ways to enjoy the moment”… You ignore his words asking him to sleep and leave to your room…

                        You both wake up late next day and have your lunch wandering around to the places he don’t know but finds it interesting, even you don’t know exactly what is happening but you’re so happy and smile widely all the time… You don’t even know that time is running like you two running on roads… After your dinner, you people find a club deciding to go in and have a drink while he leaves you at a spot to get beer/drink… Your smile fades away as you don’t see him in your sight and find everyone gazing you like hawk, some people start wandering around you and you get afraid searching for HJ… Just then someone holds you on your shoulder and you get yourself feeling cold on your feet but that person made you turn around and place a can of beer in your hand its when you realize its HJ giving a big sigh… You spend watching teenagers shouting and dancing but feel so uncomfortable with some people’s stares… In no time, HJ pulls you out of there and take you to a quite place full of snow and so cold while you look at him with many questions like ‘why he bought me out of club? Why he brought me here? What happened to him?!!’…

You hear him panting and say “give a break to your thoughts”… He look at you giving a smirk continuing “I guess you liked it here than inside that crowd”. You smile staring at him breathing heavily that’s when you hear some kids over there playing… You walk towards them who are running , screaming, throwing snowballs and you get hit on cheek by one of the kid, that boy come towards you asking you to bend to check whether you got hit hardly…

Before you say anything, he place his hand on your cheek saying “I’m sorry miss. --? ” , then you answer him “Aileen! Its ok dear”…

He smile at you wishing “Hiee Aileen… Merry Christmas” and give a kiss on your cheek leaving you in shock while he continue “so sweet! These are my friends”… You’re left in shock by his actions, the way he talk sweetly and HJ smiles with his eyes never leaving you… You play with them making up with boys and girls run over to HJ… The snow battle starts leaving everyone messy, cute and you adults play more like kids enjoying to full extent hitting each other… Whenever HJ hits you, the boys there would target him climbing on him while you get protected from the girls very well leaving you loved all this time… It’s time for them to leave, everyone give you hugs as if they don’t want to go and they hug back HJ as he is so nice to them (In your mind: This guy is mysterious, he is always silent around strangers but becomes a kid when he is around kids)… You wave them and realize something hit you by your hair, its HJ who is smile cunningly yelling “got you now!”… You both run to some distance hitting each other, then falling side by side facing the sky , in a while you look at him and find that he is already staring you… You’re lost in his stares for few moments till you feel his hand on your forehead reaching your messy (but lovely) hair, you give a jerk sitting up… He stood telling you to wait there without turning away and just look at sky… You do as he say while he come after 10min with a bag…

You look at him like ‘how can he get them all of a sudden?’, he understand you and tell “my driver is said to follow me all along” making you laugh…

He make you stand showing you his mobile with a video of the friends in Korea (each and everyone) wishing you Christmas and telling that they’re missing you…You hold on HJ hand giving away smiles and you make the grip on his hand tight in excitement while other hand on your lips when you see your nephew (SeYin baby) screaming… After the video is done, you look at HJ smiling and find your hand holding his and leave it immediately looking away… This time your heart is really making up fast, you understood that you spent too much time with him now and you want to return back or else you would fall for him, again!

‘Aileen' His voice calling your name breaks your thoughts, you find him with a present in his hand as you turn back to his voice and you take it... You’re shocked after opening it thinking ‘How could?? How he did?? This?!where?? How’ you couldn’t ask anything but you could feel that he is waiting for your reaction… It’s your childhood photo with your parents in a large frame, you missed your parents always and you manage to ask him “how did you get this” in a low tone… You look at him but he just smiles saying “you would have got this yesterday if it didn’t get broke by some sleepy head… Any-wa-y” his words went dumb later feeling your hug, he holds you back… A tear rolls down your cheek and you wipe it on his coat, you hear him mumbling something but he don’t let it out while you cry out more, then he say in a husky tone “Happy Birthday Aileen!”… (You don’t feel anything, you forgot your birthday! Yes it’s your birthday! The next day to Christmas is your birthday! He knew it?! And you forgot your birthday by spending time with him! And such a beautiful gift – mom/Dad wow!! He is awesome) Thinking over again and again you hugged him very tight closing your eyes and he pulled you in tight embrace… (In Your Mind: I Love it, Christmas / My birthday / the present / His embrace and mostly him… Noo!! What?!! Again?? No… Hyun Joong, please don’t do this… I can’t fall for you again?!) You opened your eyes removing your hands around him and he did the same, removing your hair strands on his neck looking to you when you completely avoid his eyes… He moves to his bag handing you some large size envelopes, you take them but don’t open them… He is staring at you but you’re lost in your thoughts ‘no.. I can’t go again on the same path…last time I don’t know how I feel…but I’m well aware of it this time…still I decided to spend time with him..I can’t ruin his life with my stupid limits’…

He hold your hand feeling your dumb actions and ask “what happened?”, you look at him but don’t answer him while he hands you a can of beer, holding one on his hands asking for toast to change your mood… You refuse him but he pleases you “just do this?”… Then you ask him in a sad tone “can I get something from you.. mostly a favor”

He somehow don’t feel good about your tone and nod to you ‘yes’ hesitatingly… You look away saying “leave now!”

You don’t hear anything or don’t feel any movement… You look at him when he ask “can I have reasons?”… You can’t say him, nothing or you can’t stay and bear his presence any longer as he talks so nicely which makes your heart go overboard and start yelling “Just go away Hyun Joong…Don’t you get it!! Yes, you can get reasons from me for this…you’re just wasting your time, you don’t need to do this..You’re nothing to me…we aren’t friends… Christmas is done, so leave” , you give a pause hating yourself to make your heart locked and continue in very low tone “please, please go on your way!”…

He look at you as if this is expected, he hand over you the bag he brought which is empty and leave saying “I’m going back tomorrow night! I mean it past 12… so today night! I won’t bother you anymore!!” (In His mind: you are really idiot.. Hurting yourself for every reason! You don’t need to!!!)…

You stay there with tears in your eyes, his driver approach you saying “Miss.. we’re late…I need to go home…he said me to not leave until I drop you to your home safe”… You don’t want him to bother the driver coz of you, so you go with him silently without any words or expressions… You reach home, throw envelopes he gave on bed and bag on other corner… You change to your night suit and get back to bed noticing the envelopes scattered as you threw.. You don’t look what exactly they are but your eyes get wide open when you see a big size photo of you in there… You look at the envelope cover finding serial numbers written and you arrange them accordingly trying to open in order..

1. A photo of you sleeping in the cafe when JunMi took you to HJ event after his comeback… On the back he wrote ‘First time I have seen you… I got tired after signing many cards and went to cafe with no crowd, you slept so lovely..I feel peasant to see you there, I couldn’t help but take a snap of you! Sorry if I did any wrong ’- you gasp loud in shock thinking he is the one to see you first?!!!
2. A photo of you sleeping at the bar area in JaeJoong party – ‘Again you.. I didn’t think I could meet you again…but silly girl…why you end up sleeping cutely’ – smile on your lips along with tears in eyes, formed on your face.
3. Photo of you sleeping in your home thinking HJ as hallucinated person but he is in there for real (when he came to do some modulations for concert) – ‘BINGO..Your auto lock code(lock code of your house) is my birth date wow.. I find you like a kitten sliding on your couch sleeping…couldn’t resist but snap it out’ – you imagine how foolish you’re at that time, taking him as imagination.
4. Photo of you sleeping in the hallway and woke up when he blew air (SeYin arranged this gathering) – ‘Why did you sleep in the hallway when it’s cold..I can’t help but put my stole around you… by the way…you can guess me just with my breathe?! You never fail to surprise me!’ – you’re smiling now thinking of your encounters with him
5. Photo of you sleeping on couch in your room on the day of his accident when he slept at your home – ‘How could you run away to the news you saw at an hour like that? You don’t care of your safety?! And you cry rivers and dams as all could be seen in your fluffy and bulged eyes… such a CRY BABY’ – you yell out “I’m not cry baby!!”

Then you look around finding yourself alone in your room…You burst into tears making you sulk in pain realizing all the moments you want to forget. Thinking of how hard he tried to make these all just to make you happy but you don’t deserve any of this coz all you give him at last is pain like how you did today… He wanted to make you feel good but you shout at him to go away… It’s the best way, you can’t give in as you hurt both of your emotions … At this point you’re not worried coz you hurt yourself but you’re worried as you’re giving him only pain in return, he always get a bad treatment from you… ‘I don’t care of these emotions every time! He will be hurt coz of me!!’ At last you are getting pain even before starting anything from your heart, you can’t let that happen and stay away from him! You cry out too much not realizing when you dozed off as you don’t have any energy left to cry…