As soon as you make way for him to sleep, you find out it already past 5AM… You make some breakfast for both of you and make your way to your room…You see him sleeping, so calm and pleasant…His hair covering his forehead and his sleeping eyes, pouty lips, everything just fits in perfect… You go close to him and think to yourself ‘why you make people worried.. Noo! Why you make me worried so much? What are you to me… definitely I hate you, but what I am feeling? Why do I feel comfortable only with you…’… HJ move slightly in his sleep which breaks all your thoughts… You walk back to the couch in the room and sit there watching him sleep with your thoughts eating you away… After few hours, you hear some noise and wake up… You see HJ making his way out of restroom, you stand up wishing him “hi.. I didn’t notice when I dozed off”… He smiles at you saying “its ok… I need to go now”… You stop him asking “just have breakfast and leave…”. He nods at you and you both walk to the dining… You ask him “when did you wake up? How are you feeling now?! How is you wound??”… He chuckles at the way you ask without giving a pause and say “I won’t run away till I finish what you have made… so chill!!”… He look at how you have made your face down, understood your angry actions and respond “I woke just before you and fine now.. No need to worry”… You look at him and was about to protest, then he look at his food saying “I know you’re not worried but still.. I said it!!”… You don’t get any words but sense that he caught you somehow and start eating silently… He glance at you whenever you are not looking at him… (In his mind: how can she eat that well and nice…first time I want to see someone eating this badly with swollen eyes! Well she is too worried to cry like hell)… You give him some drink then he refuse to take it saying he’s full and already late showing clock on your wall… You yell “oh my goodness…its 11am? My work!!”… You run away behaving like you’re alone in your home while HJ laugh at you… You get ready for work in 15min and when you’re about to lock your door, you hear someone saying “hello madam… are you kidnapping me?”.. You then remember him and smack yourself apologizing him… He continues “I’m waiting for you and you’re in your own world”… You couldn’t say anything but smile while he locks your door and you both go in your own ways!

You were not sure of how you feel about him but you came to a conclusion that you don’t hate him anymore… Though you don’t want to admit it, you really don’t hate him.. You are confused but you let it be for time being.. Then JunMi start to say something about HJ and you’re eager to hear it and look at her smiling… She’s surprised to see your smiling face rather than a boring one whenever she brags about her idol and ask you “you like hearing about him?!”… You say “NO!! Not at all”

(In your mind: why did I smile?! Why I’m curious to hear about him…Am I changing… no… its not good for me…either him! He is good… he needs better one… wait!! Wait!!! Did I say he is good… oh my! I used to feel him like a bad guy..now what?! What’s happening to me!!)

She snaps you out of your thoughts and you excuse yourself walking away… You were disturbed too much thinking of the days you encountered with him from beginning… You realized that you always shouted on him when he teased you but you never hated him… You just comforted yourself that you hate him…You didn’t like him but you never hated him… You want to yell ‘Noo.. I don’t like him…please say me this…Please don’t fall for him you stupid heart’… That day you leave your work late to keep yourself busy…You get back home and sleep without disturbing JunMi…

The next day morning, you are having a strange feeling as you can feel rose petals around you… You open your eyes and find someone standing looking at you..You see him calling you and you wake up and find HJ sitting in your couch…

You ask him “why are you here…what’s all this?”… He stay calm giving a sigh and come to you, hold your hands and say “Let me be yours… please…I don’t know what you have done to me but please! I want you to be mine”…

You were shocked but you feel so happy and hug him (you don’t want to accept it but your mind and heart are running on its own)… You pull back asking him “are you sure?” .. He nods…

You can’t believe it “are you really sure?!”,  “really!!”…

You hear “yes I am.. wake up … we are late”… LATE??!! You hear a female voice and feel someone patting you hard… You open your eyes and see JunMi trying to get you off from bed as you’re late… You jump out of bed looking around thinking ‘it’s a dream?!! What???? I’m dreaming about him??!’… JunMi say you to make up fast for work and leave… You will nod her but still think about it like ‘why did I dream about him proposing me? This says I want him? I really like him?! What the hell.. when did this happen.. I don’t like this…It shouldn’t be like this! I’m just a friend to him~ I can’t hurt myself’… you find droplets on your hand…You realize that you’re crying… You didn’t know when you headed to shower… You were crying a lot… ‘I don’t want him…I don’t want to be with him… He just look at me as a friend…though he likes me as a friend, he can’t make up with me till end… and more over I don’t deserve him, I don’t even match him for 10%... I can’t hurt anyone… I can’t tie up him with a tag to be with me till end or marry me… This is not right…You stupid heart…please stop here… don’t fall even more’… You come out of your thoughts after cold shower and head to work thinking not to see him anytime and ignore everyone… But you think how you can stay away as you are friends with his… Then you hear your superior offering some work to JunMi but she is refusing him…You go near and find out that there’s a project in US for 1year, you grab this opportunity and accept it without getting offer for you…JunMi gets shocked and try to stop you but you don’t bother her… He offers you the letter and you should leave in 10days…

                   After signing it, JunMi drags you from that place and was about to shout at you… You say “my dad will be there in US next week… He will stay there for long time as he is starting up new business, I want to be with him… Please! You know I love him… I’m thinking how to go from past few days…this is best chance…” (You’re lying) she can’t say anything but she was about to cry… You hug her tight and say “I will be back after this right…I will come and stay with you…(again lie) And I need a favor that you’re not going to say anyone until I tell them”… she pulls back and ask the reason… You answer “I don’t want anyone to get hurt…if I say now, they will be sad till I go… if I say just a day before, they will feel bad but they will be happy atleast these days…”… She agrees with you…

You feel so lost day-by-day and your tears make their way not knowing the reason for it.. You go to every friend’s house some or other day… JunMi finds the change in you, you must be happy to see your dad but she finds out your fluffy eyes… The day before you leave, you’re packing your bags in your room, then JunMi comes to you saying “you’re supposed to leave on 7^th but its 3rd today and you’re packing… why?”… You tell her “Nope..I have flight tomorrow, my dad is there already… I don’t know how he feels if I’m not there…so I need to rush!”…

She stood there and you ask her “what?!!”… You look at her blankly and she sit beside you holding your hands asking in low tone “I know you Aileen… You’re hurt for something or you’re running away from something…I’m with you for 3years…”…

You don’t say anything, she holds you asking “trust me…I can handle this…share to me!!You need”… before she speak anything she find tears on her hands… She yell in a worried tone “why are you crying?!”… You answer her “I don’t know”… She brushes your back and you start weeping…

You tell her how you’re feeling about HJ, her jaw dropped out of shock and she yells “oh my god! You love him?!! What’s bloody wrong in that?”… You stop her saying “I don’t love him…I know… but I started to like him”… She again says you that there’s no wrong…

You tell her “you know why I’m not in any relation…coz I’m afraid of them…I’m afraid of breaking my heart…I’m afraid that I hurt others and hurt my heart… I really don’t deserve a person like him.. He needs a better woman than me…I don’t want to burden him saying all this I feel…Let him live his life the way he wanted…”… JunMi is surprised but she knows how you feel, her tears made their way to know you’re bearing so much… You continue “that’s why I’m leaving… I don’t want my feelings to get deeper… I want to stop it start, before I can’t hold them or control them… Just now I’m realizing it…it’s better to pull it back than it’s too late”… She cries hard and you stop saying…

You hug her tight then she ask “why?! Why you want to go away? Just for this?!! And you lied about your dad right!”… You pull her back saying “I just want to stay away from him…and this place, it reminds me of many memories with him… I want to erase everything and… and… I lied about my dad…coz.. I… because” you’re mumbling in pain an she finishes it for you “coz his Tour starts day after tomorrow, he will be busy and he can’t meet you before you leave which bothers you… Most probably coz of his coming birthday right!!”… She is right, you don’t want him to know and you don’t want to see him!!

You nod her while she is about to cry again , so you assure her “I’m fine JunMi…for sure I will be better as time passes… see, it’s better for him too.. He look at me as a good friend and I mean the same too… don’t worry! Anyway you will look after your one and only one very well”… She smiles a bit then hugs you tight saying “I know you’re not ok… I can’t guarantee you for anything so I’m not forcing you to confess your feelings…But everything will be fine..You should be ok and you should join me after this year…”… You tell her “let’s hang out and have fun please! We have the whole day!!”… You both have good time but she can feel the pain in your eyes…Somewhere she thought you’re too late to realize your feelings! She let you go to figure it out yourself…

The next day, just few hours for you to leave…You look at JunMi saying “I switched it off…when I come back, will take it from you again… here’s my number in US” you handover your mobile and a card with your number… Later (it’s 7PM), You call everyone to your home except HJ as he is busy in some launch event (you don’t want him to know)… In 2hours all of the people you want to meet gather at your home and JunMi pat your shoulders to say them…They couldn’t believe it , they thought you’re joking them but you say the silly reason you said to JunMi at first… They were angry at first but they can't be angry with you for long time as they love you..They try to understand that you're missing your dad. You hug everyone and bid goodbye’s who leave to their homes after spending some time… Your flight departure follows the next day early hour 4am… Your brother, LY, Kelvin, Seyin with her prince and two other friends along with JunMi drop you at Airport… You bid them ‘good bye’ and board to flight…

On the other side, HJ will be practicing like hell for his concert next day…

While the flight is about to take off , all you think is ‘I’m afraid that I won’t see anyone of you again… sorry JunMi… I won’t be coming again! GOOD-BYE my dear one’s…Thanks for making me one among you!!’

You give a big sigh closing your eyes saying “stay happy and the way you’re always…Hey you!! Please live happily HyunJoong and don’t you dare to get hurt..EVER”… A tear rolls down your cheek!