"Come on, Taehyung, come on," Seokjin whispers, his hand holding my wrist in a vice-like grip. I follow, my head pounding as the blood running down my mouth drips down the sleeves of my jacket.

"Hyung..." I weakly mumble as we finally get to our apartment, and he slams the front door shut. "Hyung, please, I—"

"Taehyung," he says firmly, his tone serious and all signs of playfulness and warmth was gone. His hands are gripping my shoulders and I'm so scared why am I scared? Seokjin has never hurt me before so why am I so scared why would I think that he's gonna hurt me he would never hurt me, "Please don't hurt me, hyung," I whimper pathetically, my tears already rolling down my cheeks. His grip loosens.

"Why would I ever do that?" The tenderness in his voice is back again but it's gone as soon as it came. "Taehyung, do you know what you did?"

I can't speak. My face contorts to that of pain and guilt before I release a loud sob, my chest heaving with every breath I fail to take. "I don't..." My voice breaks with every syllable, and it feels like my throat is closing in, like my entire world is already crumbling when I think of that guy's family and how I'm going to deal with the consequences of what I did. "Hyung, why can't I turn back time, hyung, why did I do that—" I babble, shaking and the tears won't stop please make it stop I can't take any more of this, I can't breathe, Seokjin...

"Why did you do it, Tae?"

"He was manhandling you, his hands were ing all over you," my voice quavers, my breath shaking, "he told me he was gonna kill you, hyung, but that he was gonna do all sorts of things to you before doing so," I ramble, the words just tumbling out of my mouth and the look of disbelief on his face makes me WANT TO KILL MYSELF hyung please, I'm sorry...

"And you listened to him?"

"Well, what was I supposed to do, hyung?!" I scream, the outburst taking him by surprise. I want to pull my hair out. "Was I supposed to just let him keep saying those words?! ing Seokjin you don't ing understa—"

"Taehyung, you could have just left him alone."

"Left him alone? How the ," I shove him, pushing him against the wall, "will I just leave him alone," I want to punch something, Seokjin, get out of the way get out of the way get out I don't want to HURT YOU SEOKJIN I'M SORRY "Hyung, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I cry, my hand touching the bruise blossoming on his right cheek but he flinches, inching away from me.

My heart sunk. I'm a monster.

"Hyung, I—" I reach my hand out to him but he takes a step backwards. Suddenly there's a surge of anger washing over me and my fists are clenching and my blood is hot and my voice raises. "And you still have the capacity to avoid me even after..."

Why am I so angry? Control yourself, Taehyung. Taehyung is ing insane. What's your problem, Taehyung? Why are you like this?

"You're going to turn yourself in," he says, and I look at him with an expression of disbelief.

"You're gonna let them arrest me... You're just gonna allow them to put me behind bars and—" I shake my head frantically. I don't want to be without you.

"You're a minor, Taehyung, it's not forever. You were drunk and angry."

"Yes! Exactly!" I'm screaming again at this point and I'm pacing like a madman I'm shaking sweating still bleeding still bruising they're gonna arrest me... "I was just drunk and angry they'll never let me out they're gonna think I'm a ing psycho, Seokjin I beat a guy to death!" I'm crying again, my words coming out in short bursts of tears and anger.

And then I stop crying. "That's it," I say, my head snapping towards him. He looked so helpless. "I'm not gonna turn myself in," I smile, "We're just going to run away."

"No, we're not—"

"We're going to run away!" I scream, already grabbing a backpack and shoving whatever I could find in it. "Fine, you're not gonna run away with me, then have it your way," I sob, ruffling my own hair up and I'm trying to tear it right out of my scalp I think I'm going mad, Seokjin, I don't want to run away without you...

"Come with me, please..." Tears are spilling out of my eyes in a continuous stream, I'm on the floor and I'm begging at his ing knees, please Seokjin don't let this be the end of us, "I love you so much, please, let's run..."

"Okay."

The word was so short and he'd said it so quietly I thought I never even heard it, but at that moment, I stopped crying and everything stopped hurting. "Really?"

"Let me pack my things."

I watch him disappear to the bedroom and I sink lower to the floor, my whole body weak and I feel so tranquil. It all ends now.

"Please," he gasped for mercy as I drew another punch to his ribcage. "No more."

It's all just a dream. I'm not a murderer.

I stand up, walking to the bedroom, knees shaking. I crack the door open.

"... beat a guy to death on Dongseongno—"

"I can't believe you!" I shriek, tearing the door handle in half. "Why the would you—" tears tears tears "Why?!" I knock the phone off of him and step on it ing break ing break ing break. "I trusted you! you, you Seokjin!" My entire body shakes in anger and I'm sobbing, screaming when I storm out of the house, not even bothering to shut the door and I'm running aimlessly. "How could you?"

Betrayal betrayal betrayal I'm not the ing murderer here, he is! I thought he loved me I thought he loved me I thought he loved me I thought he loved—run, Taehyung, run, he's not gonna come after you. I hate Seokjin! I'm so ing sorry I love you so much why can't I stop running... Why did I do that? Why did he do that?

I run. I run until my feet are slipping on the wet earth and I run until all the air is knocked out of my lungs, I'll run until I feel like I've gone far enough to run away from myself. I'll keep running, running, running until my feet are torn and bleeding, I want to turn back, stop running... Seokjin? Seokjin, where are you?! Where are— I slipped—crack. Blood. No, no no no not now not now I have to go back my head hurts so much it hurts it hurts it hurts Seokjin come back... I love you.