His pov

When I got a question about my ideal type, it shocked me. At first I didn’t know what to say but when I looked up and seen Jae Min, I knew exactly what my ideal type is. I tried to ignore MC’s note about describing a specific girl. In the end, it was my private life, I didn’t have to tell them that it is actually a girl I like. But I almost regret what I said when I looked at her surprised, almost horrified face.

We finished shooting of the show and went to the changing room. I wanted to talk with Jae Min so much, but I couldn’t see her. I knew she was near, but she was hiding for some reason.

“Kai? Why aren’t you changing your clothes?” Chen asked me and I realised I was just standing there looking at the door.

“Ah, I was just thinking, sorry,” I smiled and looked for my clothes.

“We’re finished so we’ll wait for you in the hall, okay?” Suho asked and I nodded. I noticed D.O’s look, when he was closing the door. I knew he was curious and that he cared about me, but he didn’t ask anything. He would wait for you to open up. I was happy that I had a friend like him.

I took my jacket off and ed first button on my shirt when I noticed her in the room.

“Jae Min,” I said quietly.

“Kai, I wanted to ask something,” she started and looked quite nervous. “I’m not sure about it, but… Aish, this is really…” She said and covered her eyes with hand for few seconds before she continued. “When you were talking about your… ideal type… Were you, perhaps… talking about…” she stopped, looked away and bit her lower lip.

“You,” I finished and watched her shocked face. I made few steps towards her, but I stopped when she made step back. I opened my mouth to say something but she was faster.

“Why?” she asked with broken voice.

“Because... I l-“

“No! Don’t say it! It’s not real, so don’t say it.”

“But I want to say it! I can’t hold it back anymore. I want you to know it. To know that…” I went slowly closer to her, stopped right in front of her and looked her in the eyes. “I like you, Jae Min.”

She looked at me confused. I smiled a little to light the atmosphere. “I really like you. It’s the realist thing in my life. I’m sure it’s not just a delusion, but real feelings. And I wanted you to know it.”

“You can’t like a dead person, Kai,” she said after a quiet moment.

“But you’re not dead yet, Jae Min.”

“Yes, not yet. But soon I will be.”

“Why do you always have to think so pessimistically? Why do you always have to talk about your death as if it was something sure?”

“Because I will die! I don’t have much time left and I didn’t do what they wanted me to do! I didn’t find a way to survive! I’m going to die, Kai! So stop this delusional feeling!”

“I won’t. I don’t want to! Why should I do that? Why can’t I like you?!”

“Because I don’t want you to get hurt!” She shouted and the tears started to flow on her