Gift for eunhyukkie86

Gift from ???

Title: Lost Love

Pairing: JrxOC

Word Count: 6,306

Rating: PG

Warnings: Occasional curse words

 

Note to Giftee: I was experiencing a writer's block when I wrote this but I hope that you'll enjoy it despite it all, not as fluffy as you wanted it to be but I tried. Sorry for the light angst in it, but I hope this still makes you smile. Happy Holidays :)

 

Lost Love

 

 

A heavy sigh left Jinyoung’s lips as he tried to compose himself. Three long years. He reminded himself as he rubbed his clammy hands on his pants before he finally touched the door knob. He heard the faint music playing behind the closed door, a series of calm laughter blending beautifully on the cold winter night.

Three long years. He knocked on the door and plastered a practiced smile on his face before he twisted the door knob, and opening the door. The room was filled with the seven presences that he missed the most but his eyes instantly fell, or more likely found, the petite girl sitting comfortably on the left side of the room, a cup of tea in hand. He watched as her smile slowly fell, her eyes avoided his, and how she bowed and sipped her tea unceremoniously. He watched as ever so slowly she raised her head up, with a small smile plastered back in her face, a smile that never reached her eyes unlike from earlier.

Three long years. His gaze was interrupted when Jaebum walked into his line of sight, beaming and shaking his head. “You prick.” He greeted Jinyoung with a forceful but playful punch in the arm before he pulled him in for a brotherly hug. “How dare you disappear for three years?” Jaebum asked as he laughed heartily, his obvious joy to Jinyoung’s sudden comeback apparent.

“I’ve been busy.” Jinyoung easily said as an excuse that he has been practicing for the whole week as he tried to prepare himself for this inevitable moment. His memories from three years ago were still fresh just like yesterday. He left for three long years, trying to avoid one person; he almost broke every relationship he established trying to run away from her. His eyes can’t help but wonder at the elfin girl sitting at the far-end of the room despite the boy in front of him.

The room that stood still with his sudden appearance has, after some time registered his presence. Him showing up meant the completion of the crew, wide smiles and warm hugs rained from the inside, welcoming and reassuring squeezes from here and there were exchanged.

Jackson, the jokester of the bunch, was the second person on his side. He enveloped Jinyoung’s thin frame with his bulky body and slapped the weaker boy’s back hard enough to let him know that he was badly missed.

Yugyeom, who stood just outside of the chaotic circle that encased Jinyoung in a frenzy, was grinning like a fool, swaying cutely at the side as he waited for his turn with Jinyoung. Being the maknae that he is, he was trying to let the older people in the room to greet his hyung properly.

Youngjae, excitedly attached himself to Jinyoung not caring if he hit his other friends in the process. Bambam on the other hand, was circling the crowd that enveloped Jinyoung, trying to find a way to squeeze himself in and give the man standing in the middle of the chaos a warm welcome.

Mark, being the calm and collected member of the crew, just sat at the arm rest of the chair that was occupied by the petite girl who caught Jinyoung’s eyes earlier. He smiled at the newly arrived boy but his hand rested on the obviously alarmed girl in his side.

“You okay?” Mark leaned down and asked the girl on his side. The girl looked up at him, offering him a gentle pat on his thighs before nodding yes. “It’s nothing. I was just surprised.” She reassured him before he pushed him forward to welcome Jinyoung properly. “Go and greet him properly. I know you missed him.” She offered Mark a small smile and a gentle shove before standing up herself and heading on Jackson’s kitchen, her eyes never left the mini-reunion unraveling in the living room.

She watched closely as everyone made contact with Jinyoung, clutching the cup of tea firmly, trying to control her nervousness and recovering from the shock. She exhaled deeply before she gently placed the tea cup on the kitchen sink. Her walk was unsteady but her resolve was firm, her eyes were glassy with threatening tears but her face was as stoic as it can get. See this through, welcome him properly. She reminded herself.

She forced a smile on her small round face, her hands were clammy from anxiousness but she still continued, one shaky little step after another. She looked down, trying to lessen the eye contact before she reached his side.

“Welcome back Jinyoung.” She whispered and offered her hand to him. “Merry Christmas.”

“Hey, merry Christmas.” He simply said, taking her hand and shaking it briefly before he let go of it as he saw her wince at the contact. The warmth of her hand still lingered, her soft hands remained unchanged, Jinyoung can only sigh. He offered her a smile which she never caught as she turned her back at him and returned to her previous seat, just beside the waiting Mark who smiled proudly at her.

The room seemed to settle down with everyone getting their turn to greet the prodigal son, the smiles were warmer, and the laughter was heartier than earlier, it seemed like everything was a bit better when Jinyoung stepped inside the room, except for one thing, the girl on who quietly sat at the corner of the room, her head buried in Mark’s right arm.

Jinyoung’s eyes never left her, his hands and his body was busy entertaining the warm welcome that the people inside the room was offering but his eyes were glued to the timid girl who sat quietly at the far-end of the room. Glued to the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled and laughed at Mark’s jokes, how she leaned and snuggled closer when Mark sat beside her and patted her head adoringly.

He felt his heart constricting at the sight of the girl he once loved was now in the arms of another.

“Three long years.” He whispered to no one in particular.

“What was that?” Jaebum asked Jinyoung.

“Three long years. I can’t believe that I’ve been away for so long.” Jinyoung said to Jaebum but his eyes still longingly glued to the girl sitting beside one of his best friends.

“She’s well, you know. Moon Ri’s okay, I mean.” Jaebum looked at the girl who got Jinyoung’s insides in an unexplainable mess. “She’s happy now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oppa.” Moon Ri called at Jinyoung and smiled. “How was your exam?”

“It was awful. I studied so hard for the CSAT but I don’t know what happened. It seems like all those sleepless nights were for nothing.” Jinyoung sheepishly smiled and shook his head in dismay, the smile in his face never left despite the situation.

“Here,” She said as she handed him a thermo bag, “I made some porridge, I don’t know what food would be best for your tired body but I hope this helps.” She said in comfort of the older boy who looked far beyond exhausted. The bags under his eyes were too much to look at; it felt like Moon Ri was looking at a very thin panda in need of a good rest.

Jinyoung reached for the lunch bag that Moon Ri was handing him when suddenly he lost his balance, the petite girl, being an athlete, reacted quickly and steadied the boy in front of him. “I’m sorry.” Jinyoung murmured as he tried to regain his balance again, he can still feel the firm grasp of the petite girl who looked at him accusingly.

“I told you not to overdo it.” She scolded the older boy. She leaned in closer and s her arms on Jinyoung’s waist, “I’m not arguing with you. I’ll see you home oppa. And please, don’t be stubborn. I’m worried enough as is, let me do this much for you.” She reprimanded Jinyoung.

He looked at the girl beside him, her eyes adamant and strong-willed. He can only laugh weakly and follow her as she provided a steady support for his sleep deprived self.

The long walk to his house was met with comfortable silence; the winter wind blew past them as they slowly take a step after the other. Her hair was whipped by the wind every now and then and Jinyoung would stop and tuck it behind her ear, offering her a warm smile despite the weariness of his physical body.

“Thank you.” He’d whisper every now and then. A smile ghosted in his lips.

She’d only shake her head and smile. “I love doing this for you, oppa.” She’d say in return.

Jinyoung wanted to tell her how much he admires her for being this reliable and for always being there. He wanted her to know that he loved her, every flaw in her petite frame, her crooked nose that she got from an accident when a ball flew directly to her face, her plump lips that she kept untainted by any beauty products, her monolids that she found annoyingly unattractive, her cheeks that naturally glowed a pinkish red, and her eyes that served as a window to her pure soul.

“Isn’t it burdensome?” He asked as she opened the gate to his house not bothering to ring the door bell as she knew the whole estate like the back of her own hand.

“Not if you love doing it.” She just replied as she pushed the door of his house open. “We’re here.” She announced as she helped him down to the couch.

“Thank you.” He said again. “For everything.” He added after sometime, the girl just stood there nodding and smiling.

“Oppa, you’ve already said that for so many times, I already lost count.” She , her laugh reverberated inside the empty house.

“It feels like it was never enough.” Jinyoung said. “It’s never enough.” He said more firmly.

“I get it, you’re grateful to me oppa. No worries, it was no trouble at all.” She shook her head in amusement and let off a hearty laugh. “Now, before I leave you to rest, please let me feed you.” She said as she plopped down the floor and pulled the thermos of porridge in the lunch bag she was handing Jinyoung earlier.

“I almost forgot about that.” Jinyoung smiled sheepishly.

“I knew it.” Moon Ri pointed out at Jinyoung accusingly but smiled nonetheless, she loved making sure that Jinyoung was okay, it’s the only thing that she can do for him. “Eat everything first and then I’ll leave you so you can rest.” She announced as she pulled the side dishes that accompanied the porridge that she cooked. Jinyoung can only smile and shake his head, amazed at the ability of the girl in front of him to ease into his life that easily.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The small get together was in its peak with Jinyoung recounting everything that happened to him during the three years that he was gone. The university he entered from America, how the culture was totally different from Korea, how the food tasted good but not as good as Korea’s, how he missed having home-cooked meals. The night went by with a blur, the beer stock depleted so fast with the good conversation that everyone was having.

Everyone laughed and smiled and shared their insights to the things that Jinyoung was talking about. Mark on the culture, Jackson on missing home and home-cooked meals, Jaebum on university life, Youngjae teasing Jinyoung with his English fluency, Bambam on college fashion, and Yugyeom with his curiosity with American girls. Everyone has something to say except for the most important person that he wanted to hear from; Moon Ri remained silent throughout the whole conversation. Smiling and nodding, laughing at the right times but never engaging. She fidgeted uncomfortably on her seat and sipped the beer in her hand slowly. While everyone had finished their fifth can, she still sipped at her first.

Jinyoung noticed everything, despite the easy flow of the conversation, he snatched glances on her side of the room and he saw everything. Sooner rather than later, the stories about his adventure ran out and so did the beer. Everyone was still hyped up, with stories about the changes that happened when he was away.

It was Jackson interrupted everyone as he pulled Jinyoung from his seat. “Let’s get some beer?” He announced, not minding to ask Jinyoung. The lanky boy can only nod in return, not wanting to disappoint his friend.

The trip to the liquor store was fast; they ended up bringing back more soju than beer, with Jackson’s insistence that it was nicer to drink it to warm them up even more. He also purchased five bottles of expensive wine, he said it was to celebrate his return, some chips and what nots.

Jackson, was as ever, charming and cute with his antics have made the chore an easy feat for both of them. Their laughter can be heard from inside the house, when the door opened, Jinyoung saw that the seat occupied by Moon Ri was empty. Jinyoung’s eyes were alarmed at the sight. He wanted to at least talk to her but the empty seat proved how she was trying to evade him.

“She’s sleeping at the basement.” Jaebum answered Jinyoung’s unspoken question. Jinyoung’s shoulder, unknowingly tense from the earlier sight, visibly relaxed at Jaebum’s words. He laughed at his silliness, “I didn’t say anything.” He denied but his friends can only look at him in disbelief.

“We all know that you came back for her Jinyoung.” Jackson broke the silence.

“Hyung, we’re not even against it.” Yugyeom chimed in.

“She’s happy now. I just hope you’re not here to break her again.” Mark said in a threatening voice.

“Hyung!” Bambam winced and widened his eyes on Mark’s statement, his tone was trying to ease Mark’s tensioned stance. He elbowed him lightly as if trying to stop Mark from further aggravating the situation.

“I’m...” Jinyoung trailed off, unsure of what he wanted to say. He knew exactly what Mark meant and he was pissed at the truthfulness of his hyung’s words. He wanted to defend himself, he wanted to deny the truth, and he wanted to reassure them that he won’t but the words were trapped in his throat.

“We know what you mean hyung.” Youngjae said this time, offering Jinyoung a comforting smile. “As Jaebum hyung already told you, she’s in the basement sleeping.” Youngjae offered the information again.

“You’re supposed to rush to her side now and we’re supposed to lock you both inside for good measure that she won’t run away from you?” Jackson said sarcastically as Jinyoung just stood there dumbfounded at the whole idea.

Jaebum just rolled his eyes in the dumbness of his best friend and the younger ones laughed enjoying the sight of their bullied hyung. Mark was the only one who looked unsatisfied with what was happening, his lips was reduced in a straight line as he shook his head in dismay.

Jinyoung couldn’t believe his eyes, it felt like nothing has changed even after all those lost years.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oppa, please move faster!” Moon Ri yelled enthusiastically as she held the balloons with her right hand and the white and pink rose bouquet on her left.

“I can’t just run like you Moon Ri, I’m carrying the cake!” Jinyoung responded as he balanced the cake, trying not to smear any of the sides. “You be careful with the bouquet! The flowers will be limp when we get there if you keep on waving it around!”

Moon Ri just laughed at Jinyoung’s words and continued to run without a care as she chanted, “Jaebum-Chaeyoung sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.” like a kid that she is. She twirled and hopped in excitement in the idea of helping Jaebum confess to the girl he was in love with.

When they reached the rooftop, it was as majestic as Bambam has promised. The whole thing looked like it was ripped out of a movie scene, Christmas lights were hung messily on the sides, and a carpet was laid out on the corner with pillows sprawled in it, two blankets folded neatly was on top of the perfect mess of pillows. The table on the center of the rooftop was decorated with flower petals, scented candles, while Mark was dressed as the server for the night, Yugyeom and Youngjae was tasked to bring the food.

Moon Ri smiled at the whole picture in front of her, she walked slowly to Jaebum’s side whi fidgeted nervously as he waited for everything to be set up.

“Oppa!” Moon Ri greeted Jaebum with a nudge and a beaming smile. “Are you nervous? I’m sure you are.” She said excitedly, not waiting for Jaebum’s answer. She wiped the beads of sweat on Jaebum’s forehead and laughed heartily. “Don’t be nervous oppa. We’re all working our asses off for you so relax. She’ll like you!” She said reassuringly.

“And if she doesn’t, we’ll make sure she won’t get out of here alive.” Jinyoung added as he panted, all the stairs climbing took its toll on his weak body.

“Oppa!” Moon Ri shouted at Jinyoung, earning a laugh from everyone who was in the rooftop with them at that time.

“Relax Moon Ri, I was kidding! Who’d be capable of resisting such charms?” Jinyoung said before he handed Jaebum the cake he carefully carried to the venue and winked at him. Moon Ri, seeing what Jinyoung just did, also placed the flowers on top of the box cake and offered Jaebum a peck on the cheek for good luck. “I also brought you your requested flowers!” She chimed before she gave Bambam the balloons that the other boy requested.

Jaebum and Jinyoung looked at Moonri, the hyper kid who danced and laughed at the purest idea of love, fondly.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jinyoung entered the basement quietly, although the space was used as a media and entertainment room, the space was rarely used as everyone got busy with their lives, with college and part time jobs in the way, the basement looked like it was abandoned for a long time.

Jinyoung heard the faint click of the lock as he descended on the basement stairs. Jinyoung soon realized that he was trapped inside a room. He heard the faint laughter from the outside as their friends hollered and cheered for him. He let his eyes wonder inside the cold and dark basement room. He exhaled calmly as he took in the whole atmosphere inside the basement, nothing much has changed from back then.

It was just that the cobwebs hang creepily on the sides; the incessant buzzing of the house’s heating system cooed in the background and the continuous rhythmical falling of water droplets from the pipes and the flickering of the sole light source in the room added to the creepiness that he felt.

“Relax, will you?” Jinyoung spoke to himself as he pulled the white cloth covering the console and the 42 inch flat screen television that they used to play with from years ago. He threw the white cloth on the floor and plopped down slowly on the couch where Moon Ri laid, fast asleep.

“How have you been?” He asked her sleeping figure and out of habit, he pushed the stray hair from her face, she stirred quietly, a little crease in between her eyebrows formed at the unwarranted touch. “I hope you’re okay.” He said as he put his index finger in between her brows to remove the crease that formed earlier.

Her eyes fluttered open at the second touch and before Jinyoung knew it, she was at the end of the couch, her eyes alarmed and afraid.

“I’m sorry for waking you up.” Jinyoung said. “I...” He trailed of, evaluating if he’d tell her that they’re trapped inside the basement or just wait for her to figure out.

“Oh.” She said rather calmly. She nodded her head nonchalantly before she realized how messy she must have looked. She released her hair from the messy bun and brushed her neck for any stuck hair. Jinyoung stared at the beautiful sight that unraveled before him and within seconds her hair was back up again in a more made bun on her head.

“Your hair grew longer.” He noted.

“It has been three years since we last saw each other, of course it grew.” She pointed out.

Jinyoung forced a smile on his lips, her words were a sharp reminder of the lost time.

“I didn’t mean to be crass, but it has been three years.” She added as soon as she saw Jinyoung’s reaction.

“I understand.” He reassured her.

“I’m glad that you’re fine.” She said trying to break the awkward silence that now existed between them.

“As with you.” Jinyoung said, he frowned clearly annoyed at how great he’s handling this conversation, sooner or later it she’ll leave because of my conversation enders, he thought.

“I’m really happy that you’re back now. I’ll see you around then.” She said as she stood up and brushed her skirt into place.

“You’re leaving?” He said, alarmed at the sudden goodbye but he remembered that their friends locked them in.

“I need to get home, I still have things to do.” She said politely.

“Like what?” He asked, trying to prolong the ending conversation.

“Things.” She said noncommittally. She ascended the stairs and Jinyoung followed closely but when she tried to push the door open, it was stuck. Panic and fear ran through her veins, her hand clammy from surprise.

“What happened?” Jinyoung acted innocent.

“The door.” Moon Ri pointed at the knob and pushed the door harder. “It won’t open.”

“Here, let me try.” Jinyoung offered, he pushed the door with all his might only to be met by a concrete stand still, the door was left unmoved.

Moon Ri then stepped in front and banged at the door.

“Oppa! Mark oppa!” She called making Jinyoung wince. “Oppa, can you hear me?” she called out but her pleas were met by silence on the other end.

“Where are they?” She turned to Jinyoung all of a sudden; tears were slowly forming in her eyes.

“When I got here they weren’t here. Jackson met a friend outside so I went ahead inside. I stumbled upon you sleeping when I took a tour at the house, hoping that something has changed.” Jinyoung made a story up in an instance.

“Mark oppa!” Her voice was more urgent this time, pleading. “Please open the door.” She said, holding back sobs.

“Hey.” Jinyoung said as he held Moon Ri’s shoulders to calm her but she backed away in an instance, away from Jinyoung’s reach. “I’m sorry.” He said as he held up his hands in surrender, he saw that behind her teary eyes were fear and resentment from the person who’s with her.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Moon Ri tried to hold her tears back as she marched forward, holding a picture of his younger brother. The weather was as gloomy as the whole procession towards his brother’s resting place. Jinyoung followed closely behind her, ready to offer an arm of support if need be.

She stood in a white funeral hanbok amidst the black suits and dresses, her mother was too weak to walk to her brother’s grave was waiting inside the bus while her father was still on the plane back to Seoul.

“I’ll see you later my little angel.” She said as she gently placed the picture on the mound and bowed in respect for the deceased. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.” She said as she bowed a few more times. Soon enough, the crowed thinned up until it was only Jinyoung and her left. She just stood there in mourning clothes as the rain poured heavily over her. Jinyoung offered her an umbrella but she refused. She just stood there waiting for nothing.

Jinyoung having had enough, grabbed Moon Ri’s shoulder and squeezed it to comfort her, then suddenly her shoulders shook, heart wrenching sobs escaped from her lips, all those pent up emotions have then flowed freely out of her system. She trashed and screamed in helplessness as she apologized for not being able to protect her brother.

Jinyoung then pulled her close to him and faced her. “Cry it all out. It wasn’t your fault, there’s nothing anyone can do about it.” He said as he gently patted Moon Ri’s back.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m sorry.” Jinyoung whispered in regret for touching Moon Ri’s shoulders. She just shook her head, “I overreacted,” she said. “I wasn’t...” She trailed off, “I mean Mark oppa’s the only one who touched my shoulder like that, and I was just surprised.” She said.

Jinyoung’s face fell, she must have forgotten all about it. “Come on, let’s sit first. Let’s just wait for them; they’ll probably be back soon.” Jinyoung offered and descended the stairs and plopped back on the couch where they once were.

She followed soon after, sitting at the other end of the couch, putting distance as far as possible from Jinyoung.

“Moon Ri.” Jinyoung called but she didn’t look at him. She just hummed in acknowledgement as she hugged one of the pillows on the couch.

“Can’t you come any closer?” He asked her.

“I don’t think I can.” She answered honestly.

“Then can you look at me in the eye?” He asked her again.

“No.” She simply said, not sugar coating it or anything.

“Why?” Jinyoung looked at her side profile, her eyes were sad but a mocking smile was plastered in her face.

“Are you really asking me that?” She said, a tone of condescend evident in her last word.

“I want to hear it.” He simply said.

“You left.” She answered.

“And so did a lot of people in your life. But I came back.” He said in his defense.

“I never wanted you to.” She said, this time meeting his eyes. Her gaze was filled with anger.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The rain was falling lightly on the roof of Moon Ri’s room, Jinyoung sat on the floor with the books sprawled all over the table and the blanket. They were preparing for the upcoming SATs that Moon Ri’s about to take in the next month.

“Oppa. Can’t we take a break? My head’s about to explode with all the information.” Moon Ri whined and acted cutely.

“Cut it out kid. Your aegyo won’t do any good, we’ve only started 45 minutes ago.” Jinyoung said firmly and checked his watch. “It’s only 5:45, let’s finish a whole hour and then you can rest.” He compromised when he looked at the younger girl’s tired eyes. He patted the floor and lifted the blanket for Moon Ri, “Come sit with me.” He offered.

“I can’t.” Moon Ri said, adamant as she moved farther away from her tutor.

“What are you talking about? Come here and sit with me. I can teach you better this way, and besides, the bed is making you restless.” He reasoned out to Moon Ri.

“Oppa, seriously, no.” She said again, this time shaking her head vehemently.

Hearing none of Moon Ri’s words, Jinyoung pushed himself off the floor and gathered the three math books on the floor, he plopped down Moon Ri’s bed and invaded her space. The girl just blushed profusely as she sat frozen on the corner of her own bed.

“What?” Jinyoung asked.

“Nothing.” She whispered, scared that the crazy hammering of her heart would be heard in her voice.

“What’s wrong? You’re blushing so hard. Are you sick?” Jinyoung asked and instinctively reached for Moon Ri’s forehead to check her temperature.

“I’m fine.” Moon Ri dismissed JInyoung and slapped his hand away.

“No.” Jinyoung said, “You’re not. What’s wrong?” He asked again.

“Oppa. Are you dumb or are you that numb?” She looked at him incredulously only to be met by a blank look by Jinyoung.

“Oppa.” She whispered again, “I like you, love you, loved you for so long.” She said, her voice shaky, her eyes watery.

It felt like time stood still when Moon Ri let the forbidden words spill, the air was heavy with what felt like rejection for her and the mood was dampened when the rain poured. Her tears wanted to join the water flowing freely from the sky but the sobs that were threatening to escape were swallowed back by the silence that enveloped them. The silence felt like it went on forever until Jinyoung cleared his throat.

He let out a shaky laugh before he pushed the book on her lap. “Come on, let’s finish up for today. This is a refresher course so I expect you to review this for tomorrow.” He simply said before he left the room, calm and steady steps echoed.

Moon Ri’s whole world crumbled before her eyes, watching Jinyoung walk away without any word after her confession left her in shambles.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The exact atmosphere from that night 3 years ago surrounded the basement where they both sat stranded.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“That’s a shame.” She shook her head and laughed bitterly. “You left without a word, Jinyoung.”

His eyes widened at the mention of his name. He looked at her in disbelief, it felt like a lot has changed since he left. “Jinyoung.”He tested his own name, “Jinyoung,” he repeated and laughed unceremoniously.

“I confessed and you laughed it all off. Did you know how bad I was hurt from back then?” She said accusingly. “You’re not even man enough to say goodbye.” She bit her lower lip to prevent them from trembling, reflecting the current state of her heart.

“I was young, and so were you.” He simply said.

“And here I thought you were perceptive and smart.” She laughed like a hallowed shell of a being, empty and devoid of any emotion.

“I was protecting you.” He added.

“Don’t make me laugh Jinyoung. You were protecting yourself, don’t kid yourself.” She retorted in bitter agony.

“I was, I did. But I was protecting you too.” He tried to explain but she was having none of his excuses.

“You had such a long time to come up with that excuse Jinyoung. I think we’re done here.” She said before she pulled the blanket away from her legs and stood up, intent on destroying the door trapping them together if need be.

“You can’t leave.” Jinyoung said a matter-of-factly.

“Try and stop me.” She rolled her eyes and walked towards the stairs and straight to the door, Jinyoung closely followed behind her. Her feet were weak from the nearness of the man who made her a mess from three years ago, her heart was beating so hard it felt like it’s escaping from her chest, her fingers felt numb from it for so long and her mind and her eyes were intently focused on getting out of the room and finding solace. She was caught off guard when her knees shook, sending her into Jinyoung’s arms, accidentally crashing her lips to his.

The soft plump lips was divine against hers but she soon found herself back to reality, she snapped out of her reverie and pulled back. Jinyoung looked down on the floor and spoke, “I’m sorry.” He apologized as if he was at fault when the truth us it was an accident.

“It wasn’t your fault oppa.” She murmured softly, her eyes never meeting his, she ascended on the stairs and slammed the door as hard as she could. She knew she needed to escape before her heart surrenders back to him.

Oppa, the word echoed in Jinyoung’s mind, his heart raced at the sound. “Moon Ri,” he called out her name, testing her reaction. “Come on, don’t tire yourself out. Let’s just call them or something.” He offered to no avail. He looked at how tirelessly Moon Ri knocked and slammed the door for rescue, he knew better than the younger girl so he spoke again, “I don’t know if you still remembered this but I was your first kiss.” Jinyoung said, as he tried to calm the still hysterical Moon Ri who kept on pounding on the door. He offered her a small smile and a pat on her shoulder.

“Come on now, give it a rest. I’ll tell you more.” He said.

~~~~~~~~~~~

A gummy worm playfully hung on Moon Ri’s lips, the three year old kid let it swing from side to side as she slurped it like spaghetti, half eaten and half played at, the seven year old Jinyoung took the chance and leaned it to snatch it away from the little girl’s lips’ grasp with his own. Moon Ri’s frowned and yelled in annoyance “Oppa!” she shouted at him.

As she tried to keep the chewed gummy worn inside , her lips trembled with her loss.

“I stole your first kiss!” Childish Jinyoung proudly announced but the three year old Moon Ri could only careless about the kiss, craved for the sweetness of the gummy worm she was eating earlier. Jinyoung, being perceptive at such a young age saw that Moon Ri was about to break into tears shoved a few pieces of gummy worms in the little girl’s mouth to prevent her from crying out loud.

“Here have everything I have left.” He said and patted the head of the little girl in front of him. The little girl then broke into a smile and fits of giggles before hugging him and laughing heartily.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Moon Ri sat on the couch, her head resting on the arm rest as she listened intently to Jinyoung, childhood stories she cannot remember, painful memories from her brother’s death, his comforting and sturdy presence, even his warm embrace.

“Do you still remember?” He asked after he recalled the day he patted her shoulder in comfort, how she burrowed her head in his still fragile frame for support and Jinyoung decided to protect her with all his might.

“Clear as water.” She said and smiled sadly. “I’m sorry for acting like a earlier.” She said.

“I deserved every bit of it.” Jinyoung said in reply. “I was serious about what I said earlier.” Jinyoung suddenly said.

“About what?” She gave him a puzzled look, the anger in her eyes dissipated with the memories that was brought back.

“About being sorry for leaving you, for wanting to protect you from me, and for loving you.” He said. ”I love you Moon Ri, more than anything.”

“Jinyoung, please. Not this again.” She shook her head; her shield was slowly breaking into pieces.

“I’m serious. I have always loved you; I don’t ever want to lose you. And you were right; I left, without saying goodbye because I was scared, not for you but for myself. You were just a child Moon Ri, about to get into college, and you don’t even know about men. What if I confessed back then? What if you found another guy better than me? What if I’m unable to protect you? What if I hurt you? There were a lot of questions running into my mind and I needed you to realize that the world is so much bigger than me.” He said, breathless with all the blabbering he finished.

“That’s not for you to decide.” Moon Ri said but she knew when she heard his words that she has completely fell into Jinyoung’s deep brown eyes, his voice echoed like angel songs, his warmth spread through like the sun finally shining after a long stormy week. Her eyes were still holding back the tears; she bit the insides of her cheeks to control herself and watched Jinyoung carefully.

“I know. And for that I’m sorry.” Jinyoung responded.

“You already broke me, you know?” Moon Ri whispered as she got tired of Jinyoung’s apologies. “And you…”

Jinyoung interrupted her sentence and spoke, “I wanted to make you whole again but it feels like I’m already too late.” He bowed his head in regret and wiped a stray tear that fell on his cheek. “I’m sorry Moon Ri.”

“You have a lot of what ifs and I can’t even begin to answer them all.” Moon Ri calmly said. “But I can assure you that you’re not too late.”

“But Mark.” Jinyoung simply murmured.

“Mark Oppa has been shielding me from annoying suitors and erts; he’s been your replacement for three years now.” She laughed and shook her head, “Albeit, a tad too protective but he’s great.”

“Don’t you love him?”

“Well yes, I do love all of you.” She chimed. “But I love you differently.”

Jinyoung looked up in surprise and snatched her hand that rested on her lap. He kissed it gently and let the tears flow from his eyes. “I’m so sorry.” He said again.

“You’re not completely forgiven, I still have trust issues when it comes to you but I guess no matter how hard I try, it will always come back to me surrendering to your embrace.” She leaned in closer to him and closed her eyes, she found her way back home, somewhere safe, although fearful of the future, she held on to Jinyoung tightly and prayed for both their sakes, let this last for a lifetime.

“I love you oppa.” She mumbled, her head burrowed on his shoulder.

“I love you so much,” He whispered back as he her hair gently and caressed her cheek tenderly. “I love you.” He whispered again before he hugged her even tighter, as if to catch up on the lost time. Three years was too long a time for unrequited love.