Gift for gdae_woo

Gift from ???

Title of the Gift : Lullaby

Pairing : MarkSon

How many words :1508

Rating : G

Warnings : Death


Note to my Giftee : Hello ~ So here's my gift for you. I hope you will like it/liked it. I really enjoyed writing this. I hope you're having an awesome Christmas, and that you and people you love are healthy ! Stay healthy, and happy, and enjoy the New Year that's coming !! Good luck <3

Lullaby

« - “Good night ! Make sweet dreams Mark !

- You too, Jackson.”

Mark’s words escaped his mouth before he could stop them, listening to Jackson’s recording. Jackson wasn’t here with him though, and he didn’t really know why he let those words escape his lips. Jackson was never home, now that he got hired at his new job. Mark wasn’t mad at all, just sad.

As he played Jackson’s recording of a lullaby on his music player Mark drifted into slumber. Listening to his lover’s voice, Mark couldn’t help but imagining Jackson in someone else’s arms.

The first thing that Mark saw this morning was the light that was filtering behind the curtain of the only window of the room. Something felt weird, Mark realized as he opened his eyes. He was cold, which wasn’t really normal, especially for Christmas.

Jackson wasn’t in bed.

Mark sighed and closed his eyes again, waiting to wake up completely before going up and take his breakfast in the kitchen where he hoped he would see his lover.

But when he entered the kitchen, nobody was there, and there was absolutely no scent of coffee, which was weird. Jackson always drank coffee in the morning, and the absence of this usual perfume meant Jackson didn’t get back during the night. Mark really started to worry and went back to his bedroom to grab his phone and check for any texts or phone calls.

Nothing.

Mark served himself his breakfast, trying to keep his mind busy. There was no need of worrying for Jackson. He was a responsible adult, and his job probably kept him busy. Yes that was it, he was only busy because of his job, Mark thought, trying to reassure himself. But it was Christmas, and Jackson didn’t work that day. Mark shook his head, trying to erase this thought of his head.

He opened the window and tried to concentrate on what he could hear from outside. Children were shouting, people were singing Christmas songs. The world was happy.

When his phone rang as he was eating his cereal, he couldn’t help but feeling his heart speeding up, even if he didn’t recognize the number.

“- Hello ?

 - Hello. Can I talk to Mark Tuan please ?

 - It’s me. What’s happening ?

 - Do you know Jackson Wang ?

- Yes of course. It’s my boyfriend. Did something happen to him ?”

As his interlocutor didn’t answer, Mark started to panic. He couldn’t bear the idea of Jackson being in danger.

“- Listen, I’m a doctor. Come to the hospital, it’s better if I explain this to you in person.”

Three beeps followed his last sentence, letting Mark alone with his thoughts. He quickly dressed and went out of the house as if he was in a trance. He didn’t know what he was doing or how he was even doing it. The hospital. The hospital called him to tell him something about Jackson. It couldn’t be that bad… Right?

As he left his house in a hurry, he didn’t had the time to call a taxi, so he had to walk to the closest bus station. He easily arrived at the hospital after a ten minute bus ride, but when he found himself in front of the door, he suddenly couldn’t walk any further.

What if what he was going to find in this building changed his life – and Jackson’s life forever ? What if Jackson was seriously injured or had an incurable disease ?

Mark shook his head in denial and walked into the hospital, taking a big breathe.

“- Hello, do you have a patient called Jackson Wang please ? he asked to the lady behind the counter.

 - Hold on, she answered, typing something on her computer.

Yes, we have one. Room 267.

- Thank you.”

If Mark could have ran, he would have. But the only thing he could do was walk, and that’s what he did, as fast as he could. He finally reached the room after what seemed forever to him, and as soon as he faced the white door, he stopped. His hand was on the door handle, shaking, just like his whole body. He sighed, afraid of what he could find behind the door.

“- Mark Tuan ? said a familiar voice, making him jump a bit.

 - Yes ?

 - I’m the Doctor Yoon, answered a pretty young man. I’m the one who called you earlier.

 - Oh yes, nice to meet you sir, murmured Mark while shaking the doctor’s hand.

 - I’m glad you came.

- So… How is Jackson ?”

And as the doctor talked to Mark, he felt his heart breaking in a million pieces. He felt these pieces going everywhere in his body, cutting his bones, opening his veins, blocking his throat. His whole body was hurting, but what hurt the most was his heart. It wasn’t a psychological pain anymore, it was physical. He felt it from his head to his toes, but he also felt a hole in his soul.

His whole world fell apart at each word the doctor said.

“- Jackson is sick. Really sick. It’s been two years now that he’s been fighting with lung problems. He didn’t tell you because he didn’t want you to worry about him. His condition went worse two months ago, that’s why he told you he found a new job, which is false. He spent his days at the hospital. And today… I’m afraid he can’t go back to your house. I’m sorry.”

The doctor then left after patting Mark’s shoulder, leaving him entirely broken. Mark sat on the chair next to him, and stayed like this for about fifteen minutes. He looked like a lost child, waiting for his mom… or for someone to tell him it was a joke, a prank. He wanted Jackson to come out the room, take his hand, apologize and tell him they could go back home.

But it was the reality, and Mark had to bear with it.

Opening the door, shaking on his legs and sighing to give him strength, Mark entered the room and his eyes met Jackson’s. But was it really him ?

Mark couldn’t believe the pale, thin boy lying on the bed was really his boyfriend. It couldn’t be. Jackson was healthy, a bit tan, and he wasn’t sick. It was impossible.

“- Hey, Mark”, whispered Jackson in a really soft voice. He seemed to be fighting against himself to keep his eyes open. “Come closer.”

Mark slowly made his way to the bed and sat next to Jackson’s body. His tears were rolling on his cheeks and Jackson pulled out his hand to dry them. As soon as his hand reached Mark’s cheek, Mark closed his eyes and put his hand on Jackson’s. It didn’t feel as if he was really holding a hand. More like a big and crunchy bone.

“- Merry Christmas, Jackson laughed. I’m sorry babe. I should have told you.

 - This is so sudden, whispered Mark, tears breaking his voice.

 - I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make suffer. I didn’t want you to leave me…

 - I wouldn’t have left you, Jacks-

 - I didn’t want you to look at me with pity in your eyes, interrupted Jackson. I didn’t want you to stay because you pitied me.”

Mark looked at Jackson’s eyes for the first time since he sat next to him, and strangely, Jackson was staring right into his eyes. He had a breathing mask on his nose, as Mark could see, and he seemed to have trouble breathing.

“- Listen, I don’t have any time left –

 - No, no you’ll be okay, you’ll –

 - Babe.”

Jackson Mark’s cheek, and tried to smile. Jackson wanted to reassure Mark. He wasn’t afraid of dying, he somehow got used to the fact that he was going to die. All he could think of in that moment was how Mark would live without him.

The silence continued for a bit, only interrupted by Jackson’s breathing and Mark’s sobs.

Jackson’s voice suddenly reached Mark’s ears, and it only made Mark cry harder. Jackson was singing a song, his song, the one he listened to every night before going to sleep. Jackson’s voice was shaking, but it was soft and his deep voice was purely perfect to Mark’s ears.

“- Give me a kiss, babe, begged Jackson. Please.”

Taking off his breathing mask, Mark leaned on his boyfriend. His lips met Jackson’s ones. They were cold, shaky, as if Jackson was crying.

And then suddenly, he heard it. The last beep, meaning Jackson’s heart stopped. He then saw plenty of doctors, he filled many documents, but he wasn’t really living. His whole vision was always blurred because of his tears and his heart felt cold forever.

Before, Mark used to listen to Jackson’s lullaby before going to sleep, even if he was alone. It made him feel as if Jackson was by his side. But Jackson wasn’t here anymore, and Mark couldn’t bear the sound of his voice. But somehow, he couldn’t erase the song on his player.

Maybe, one day, he’ll meet Jackson again, and maybe, he was going to sing for him again.